The agreement, which still must be approved by a judge, will basically wipe out any charge involving the 3.3 grams of weed Lincecum had on his person when he was pulled over in his Mercedes for going 74 mph in a 60 mph zone on October 30th in Hazell Dell, Washington, his home state.

Grant Hansen, the Clark County deputy prosecutor, explains:

"We negotiated the case in the manner we do with just about every first-time marijuana-drug paraphernalia case where the individual is cooperative with the officer," Hansen told The Columbian. "We dismissed possession of marijuana and amended the other charge to buying or selling drug paraphernalia, a Class A civil infraction."

But to have a case like this to be resolved this quickly is strange, right? Nope.

"His attorney came to our office Monday. We negotiated the case in the manner we do with just about every first-time marijauana/drug paraphernalia case where the individual is cooperative with the officer," Hansen said Friday.

Right. Every first time offender who is a famous Major League pitcher that has a $500/hour attorney on retainer, correct? Not so fast, so says deputy prosecutor Hansen.

The prosecutor told The Columbian "it could have been the kid next door" getting the same treatment. "The fact it's a celebrity doesn't mean he doesn't get the same deal."

Very true. It is not surprising in the least that anyone busted with a couple grams of bud would get this deal, especially in a state like Washington which has such liberal marijuana laws. What is surprising, however, is how quickly this has gone down and how willing the authorities were to cooperate to resolve this matter as quietly as possible. Perhaps this is a sign of how far we have come with how we perceive recreational marijuana use in this country.

Of course, I completely support how this case was handled (which I assume doesn't come as a surprise to anyone around these here parts). Shit man, have Lincecum pay his measly fine and let him get on with his life. There is a whole bunch of weed to smoke in the Pacific Northwest and times wasting, you dig?

Report: Lincecum has agreement on pot charge [The Associated Press]
Lincecum makes deal with Clark County prosecutors [The Colombian]
(previously on Deadspin) Tim Lincecum Cited In Least Surprising Pot Bust Ever

In the sneak peek of the interview released by ESPN, Rogers tells Hill he smoked marijuana on a daily basis, then became addicted to painkillers after breaking his collarbone twice, in 2003 and 2004. Wow, weed AND painkillers? Just call him Ricky Favre.

In 2005, Rogers flunked his third drug test with the NFL, and was obligated to return $10 million of his $14.2 million signing bonus to the Lions. Rogers was cut by the Lions in 2006 and never played in the NFL again, going to jail last December for violating probation stemming from a domestic violence arrest. Watch this interview even casually, and it would appear as though Rogers is STILL baked. In fact, the geniuses over at Tirico Suave have already noticed this and parodied it in record time with the video below.

The funniest part of the interview is when they cut to that fucking retard shitbox Matt Millen. "Something clearly was wrong." Think so, Einstein?

Since you probably have the munchies right now, why not enjoy a nice big Subway sandwich, like the ones enjoyed by your fog-brained idol? King Abdominals is back on the pitchman trail hawking those tasty, tasty hoagies and that means the Drug War is over! Oh, and pot won, thanks to Phelps' biggest endorsement of all.

Subway, however, accepted Phelps' apology and in his debut spot for the sandwich chain, the Olympian thanks the chain back. You can almost hear all the blunts lighting up in support as Sly & The Family Stone's "Thank You (Falettinme Be Mice Elf Agin)" kicks in.

Yes, the fact that noted drug addict Michael Phelps is still allowed to sell sandwiches—to children—is proof that the United States is filled with unrepentant Harolds and Kumars who don't care that our greatest hero has destroyed his life with all manner of baked goods, simply because he shares certain physical characteristics of a dolphin. His life wasn't destroyed, and that just doesn't make sense to some people.

In other words, there were no serious consequences. To the extent that endorsement opportunities are a rough metric of how well someone in public life is liked, admired, respected, the bong-heard-round-the-world scandal might as well never have happened. With the benefit of hindsight, Kellogg execs might well be kicking themselves.

[ ... ]

What we're witnessing is the death of a certain kind of shame.

And what the world needs now is more shame. And Doritos. Seriously, are you going to eat that whole bag by yourself?

Michael Phelps ads prove a new cultural tolerance of marijuana [Los Angeles Times]
Ad of the Day: "Phleps" [Ad Week]

Marinovich's problems with drugs, legal issues, and genuine aloofness are the only things left of his legacy as a football player. The accepted notion was that Todd was raised by a demanding, insane father, who had him lifting weights before he could walk, determined to create the perfect athlete, regardless of what toll it took on his son's personal life. Obviously, some of that upbringing did lead to Marinovich's problems but writer Mike Sager shows a man who just stopped caring about himself long before the Raiders ever made him the 24th pick in the draft. A stoner since high school, Marinovich discovered early on that weed was the one thing that made his life tolerable. Amazingly, I almost have more respect for Todd Marinovich after reading this just because he doesn't blame anyone but himself for the mess his life's become. But that could also be because he's so burned out that most of his childhood traumas have simply been erased from his brain.

Here are some of the creepier, crazier highlights from the piece:

•

At the conclusion of Raider training camp that summer, as tradition dictated, the first draft pick threw a party. Todd had gone twenty-fourth in the first round and signed a three-year, $2.25 million deal, including a $1 million signing bonus. He rented a ranch and hired a company that did barbecue on a huge grill on a flatbed truck. He turned the barn into a stadium with hay-bale seating. He hired strippers, ten white and ten black. The grand finale: three porn stars with double-headed dildos. "They say in the history of the Raiders, it was the best rookie party ever," Todd says.

•

Once, during halftime at a home game, Todd retrieved a premade rig out of his locker and went to the bathroom to shoot up. Sitting on the toilet, half listening to the chalk talk, he slammed the heroin. As the team was leaving the locker room for the second half, he struggled with the screen in his glass crack pipe - he wasn't getting a good hit. Then the pipe broke, and he lacerated his left thumb. By the time he got out onto the field, his thumb wrapped in a towel, the game had already started. He took up the clipboard, his only duty. "I didn't even know what play they were calling," Todd says. "Nobody looked at the shit I wrote down anyway."

•

Todd returned to football for the last time in the spring of 2000 - a mercurial stint with the Los Angeles Avengers in the Arena Football League. His first year, he tied the record for most touchdowns in a single game despite undergoing severe heroin withdrawal; after shitting his pants during warm-ups, he came out and threw ten touchdowns to win a game against the Houston Thunderbears. That same year, at age thirty-one, he was named to the all-rookie team. The next season, he became L. A.'s franchise player. The day he picked up his signing bonus, he was busted buying heroin. With him in the truck was $30,000 cash in an envelope. Toward the end of the season, he was ejected from successive games for throwing a clipboard and a hand towel at officials. Finally, he was suspended from the team.

•

Three months from now, in early February, feeling pressure from all directions - the deaths within two weeks of his uncle Craig and grandma Virginia, the upcoming gallery show, Marv's health problems, a new life with his fiancée, questions about his future - he will drive on a Sunday afternoon to his old hook spot in Santa Ana and buy some black tar. As soon as he smokes the first hit, he will throw the dope out the window and call his probation officer, then drive directly to the county offices to give himself up. Sixteen months of sobriety lost in an instant. His penalty will be one week at the Farm; it could have been two years. As he drives across town to surrender, he will see in his mind a picture of Alix, the swell of her belly. He wants to be a father to his son.

The Man Who Never Was [Esquire]

You may say that the infamous News of the World photos don't actually prove anything, but you take those (what was he hitting, Aquafina?), and add Phelps' confession, plus eyewitness accounts that Phelps was "totally wasted all weekend," and you may just get a visit from Sheriff Buford T. Justice.

Richland County Sheriff Leon Lott says he will charge Michael Phelps with a crime if he determines the Olympics hero smoked marijuana in Richland County. Phelps, who set a record with eight gold medals in the 2008 Summer Olympics, was photographed smoking a marijuana pipe at a November party in Columbia.

“This case is no different than any other case,” Lott said Monday. “This one might be a lot easier since we have photographs of someone using drugs and a partial confession. It’s a relatively easy case once we can determine where the crime occurred.”

Pot may not land you in jail where you come from, but you're in Richland County now, boy. Possession of marijuana is a misdemeanor, punishable by up to 30 days in jail or a $570 fine, plus court costs.

However, simply appearing like you're stoned in South Carolina? That's still okay. Such as.

Phelps Could Face Charges In SC [Inside Charm City]
Richland Sheriff Could Charge Phelps [The State]

Well. That's not so bad. But the Brits seem angry at Michael Phelps:

One party-goer who witnessed the star’s behaviour told the News of the World: “He was out of control from the moment he got there.

“If he continues to party like that I’d be amazed if he ever won any more medals again.”

Phelps’ aides went into a panic over our story and offered us a raft of extraordinary incentives not to run the bong picture.

It was on November 6, weeks after his Beijing triumph, that 23-year-old Phelps surprised students at the University Of South Carolina in Columbia by showing up unannounced at a house party.

He was visiting Jordan Matthews, a girl he was secretly seeing who was a student there.

Our source revealed: “Michael came to visit Jordan but ended up just getting wasted every night.

Maybe he was just trying to help keep his caloric intake up? I'm sure he'll have to apologize for being a personal disappointment to America.

What A Dope [News Of The World]

But what are the chances this isn't the ADHD swim boy that took over the world? We'll find out soon enough. But does a photo of Michael Phelps (or whomever) smoking out of a bong ruin any potential marketing opportunities? And what if it's just a hookah? As soon as the photo hits, we'll throw it up.

*****

Get some sleep tonight. It's a long day of Super Bowl madness tomorrow. Dash will be here during the day to give you all your non-Super Bowl/pregame news and Matt Sussman will be live blogging. Hooray.

But most of the league spokespeople have not fully confirmed what actually happened with Chalmers and Arthur in their hotel rooms, stating that the two "violated rules and were sent home." And Self tells ESPN he's supporting his players until the facts are straight.

"We really don't know all the facts yet, and I certainly would never comment publicly on any personal matter concerning any player I have ever coached. Beyond that, I can say that both Mario and Darrell were great to coach. They played a huge role in our success the past few years, in large part due to their unselfishness and the sacrifices they made for our program."

Per league policy, Chalmers and Arthur were booted from the seminar and will have to repeat it again next year. Well, good news is, they probably learned their lesson. Maybe. Possibly.

Oh and the above photo was sent in by a reader was shared a ride with a couple of the Jayhawks the night they won the championship. Darrell Arthur looks happy.

Sources: Chalmers, Arthur caught with marijuana at rookie camp [ESPN]

Immediately Penn State message boards exploded suggesting that ESPN had planted the drugs in the apartment. None of the players have yet been charged as test results on the substance are not yet in. While college kids with pot in their apartment isn't a shock, Penn State really can't afford any further incidents. Especially not now that SportsCenter is live all day.

Marijuana found in apartment [The Daily Collegian]
5204 Apartment Update [The Black Shoe Diaries]

NFL Source: Travis Henry Tests Positive Again [My Fox Colorado]
Report: Travis Henry Fails Drug Test [PFT]

Yes, Vikings safety Dwight Smith was cited for sticky icky icky possession after his vehicle was stopped for impeding traffic at a downtown intersection Thursday night. Good news though: He wasn't busy banging some chick in the back seat. He's learning!

The official police report:

Officer saw the listed vehicle impeding the traffic lane in front of the listed business. An air horn was sounded to get the vehicle moving. The vehicle did not clear the traffic lane. Office got out to identify the driver and issue a Citation. Officer smelled the strong odor of Marijuana coming from the vehicle. The driver, Arrested Person 1 (AP-1), admitted he just got done smoking some Marijuana. Citations were issued to AP-1. Evidence was properly inventoried.

Stoned people are awesome.

Vikings Safety Dwight Smith Cited For Small Amount Of Marijuana [TwinCities]
Dwight Smith's Police Report [CelebStoner]
Dwight Smith Has Seen 'Unfaithful' [Deadspin]

Coltrane, to take the starting spot from starting tailback Rudell Small, allegedly planted 20 ounces of marijuana in his dorm.

Small had been arrested and charged with possession of the illegal substance last Thursday after the Jacksonville Sheriff's Office received a tip that they would find the marijuana in his room on campus. Small was arrested and jailed that night, and JU suspended him from school and the team's game last Saturday against Davidson.

Small maintained his innocence when first confronted with the charges. In JU's investigation into the matter, Coltrane was questioned, and on Tuesday, he confessed to planting the drugs in Small's room for undisclosed reasons, school officials said. Small confirmed to the Ocala Star-Banner that Coltrane had confessed.

Mock if you will, but can you think of anything better to do with 20 ounces of marijuana?

Oh. Yeah. That.

JU Marijuana Case Takes Strange Turn [Jacksonville.com]