Well, That Was An Enormous Disaster: Seattle Beat Green Bay, In Three…

Green Bay, Seattle : Aaron Rogers was sacked 9 times tonight and only a few times did he do it to himself. There was a bizarre fight in the end zone when Greg Jennings was just tackled out of nowhere. No throw, no blocking, guy just tackled him for some reason and Jennings did not appreciate it. Seattle almost threw… » 9/24/12 11:53pm 9/24/12 11:53pm

Baltimore Beat The Patriots And Bill Belichick Is So, So Salty About…

Baltimore 31, New England 30: A see-saw affair between everyone's favorite AFC powerhouses also had some feel-good moments. Torrey Smith had two touchdowns, the second of which brought Ravens back within two with four minutes left in the game. The Ravens held the Patriots on their final possession, forcing a punt… » 9/24/12 12:06am 9/24/12 12:06am

The Cardinals Crushed The Eagles Because The Cardinals Might Actually…

The Cardinals we're already up, so it's not like this is why they won, necessarily. They probably would have won anyway. But boy, this must have felt like shit for the Eagles: Down 17-0, they'd marched the ball all the way down to the Arizona one. On third and goal with six seconds left in the half, Michael Vick… » 9/23/12 7:45pm 9/23/12 7:45pm

Atlanta Beat The Pants Off San Diego, In Just One GIF

Atlanta 27, San Diego 3: Matt Ryan threw for 275 yards and three touchdowns and the Falcons destroyed Philip Rivers and the Chargers. Rivers, by the way, had two interceptions on the day—both to Thomas DeCoud (who also recovered a fumble)—and a scant 173 yards passing. Atlanta remains undefeated on the year. San… » 9/23/12 7:35pm 9/23/12 7:35pm

In A Game Where Someone Had To Win, The Jets Beat The Dolphins, In Two…

New York Jets 23, Miami 20: Ties be damned, this game was going to wind up being lost by someone. Hello, Miami Dolphins. To read a full recap of this one you'd need the patience of Job. Tim Tebow got sacked. Tim Tebow ran a fake punt for a first down. Pass interference penalties out the kazoo. The Dolphins missed two… » 9/23/12 5:23pm 9/23/12 5:23pm

Jacksonville Beat The Colts In The Final Minute, In Two GIFs

Jacksonville 22, Indianapolis 17: Both Andrew Luck and Blaine Gabbert had completion percentages below 50, but Luck threw for 300 yards and two touchdowns. Gabbert only had one touchdown, but it was the decisive one. Maurice Jones-Drew also made an appearance finally with a 177 yards/28 carries performance. » 9/23/12 5:06pm 9/23/12 5:06pm

The Bills Beat The Browns And Everyone In The Press Box Survived, In…

Today, the weather report for the neighborhood of Cleveland Browns Stadium said, "Rain is only occurring in a few spots." One was, for most the game, the stadium itself, and another might as well have been the press box. If you checked in on Browns and Bills beat writers, you found a lot of deadpan reactions to some… » 9/23/12 4:45pm 9/23/12 4:45pm

The Bears Were less Offensively Inept Than The Rams, In One GIF

Chicago 23, St. Louis 6: If I knew how to make a GIF of myself falling asleep, I would have. The Rams managed to scoring zero touchdowns and the Chicago offense could only muster one. The rest were field goals and a defensive interception returned for a touchdown. Between the two quarterbacks, they managed just over… » 9/23/12 4:34pm 9/23/12 4:34pm

Giants 36, Panthers 7: The Game In Three GIFs

This was a slow and deceptive win for the Giants, who run their record to 2-1. The defense played solid in the first half and allowed the Giants' offensive live to methodically dominate time of possession against the high-powered offense of Carolina. Even without starters Hakeem Nicks and Ahmad Bradshaw, Eli Manning… » 9/20/12 11:30pm 9/20/12 11:30pm