Ozzie Guillen And His Inflatable Fans

• Inflatable groupies.
• A-Rod, cool under pressure. Totally.
• Flomax!
• Tim Tebow, a cut above.
• A kid that is now somewhat less smelly.
• The horse revolution.
• Mindy McCready, not selling albums.
• Look what two motorcycle crashes can produce.
• Jamie Moyer has a friend in baseball schedules.
• That Barkley sure is honest.
• Watch out for more Marvin Harrison news.

All right, that's it for us. We're going to enjoy the Cardinals-Brewers tonight and tomorrow — thanks to everyone who came last night — and let Mr. Christmas Ape drive this train. Hug your moms, and we'll see you Monday.

Braylon Edwards Does Not, In Fact, Blog

• Hey, What'd we miss? Oh, yeah. That.
• Oh, and nobody had a better take than Daulerio.
• John Daly, shirtless.
• Jeff Reed. Two words, so much meaning.
• Careful, Coach Weis.
• Pat Jordan is a badass.
• Roger Clemens should not be allowed around early teens. Nor should Karl Malone, for that matter.
• The balls of Lou Piniella.

Well, this would be a week we would classify as "eventful." Mr. Unsilent Majority will be your weekend top dog. Now, if you'll excuse, we are going to sleep like the dead all weekend ... and turn our phone off.

Now You See T.O., Now You Don't

• Terrell Owens, vanishing from porn films.
• Santonio Holmes is packing some heat.
• Butterfingers for a Red Sox fan.
• Jeff Passan and Terry Pettis.
• Topless ladies (kinda) at Rockies games.
• It's Jeff Reed night.
• Yankees-Red Sox fight!
• As spirited a defense of the NFL Draft as we could imagine.
• Pacman in Dallas.

Hey, it's NFL Draft weekend. Christmas Tunison will be your weekend editor, with Mike Tanier from Football Outsiders providing an assist. We're going to spend the weekend figuring out how Buzz Bissinger could kill us. We'll see you Monday.

Goodbye To All That

• We miss Isiah, already.
• No more primates at the Washington Post.
• Good night, Lima.
• NFL schedule is out.
• The end of Harold Reynolds' lawsuit against ESPN.
• Carmelo is very sorry.
• Lots of discussions on Bill Simmons. But no Barack Obama for him.
• Will Clark, charming.
• One Nutty Buddy.
• Tiger Woods did not win The Masters.

OK, your weekend editor is Matt Sussman, everyone. We're gonna enjoy some sunshine this weekend, hope our hometown isn't hit by any more earthquakes and watch some playoffs. You should do the same. See you Monday.

The Week We Lost A Steely McBeam

• Congratulations ... sigh ... to Bill Self.
• Buckner, Fenway, heartwarming, kind of, not really.
• Gen. Petraeus on the Wii.
• This is a very specific personalized jersey.
• Rick Astley and Shea Stadium.
• Roy Williams, and Hooters.
• Steely McDrunky.
• Pat Summitt is awesome.
• All right, everybody, let's protest ... hey ... where's the Torch?
• Drew on blogs.
• Daulerio on Kenny Mayne.
• Lance Allred could use some media training.
• Jose Canseco has a new lawyer.
• Lookin' good, Jake.

All right, we're taking this horse into the barn for the weekend. (Or something.) Unsilent Majority is your weekend honcho. We'll be back Monday; be safe out there.

Matt Leinart Suddenly Dirty

• Opening Day!
• President Bush would have been a better commissioner.
• Look: Daulerio works here now.
• Matt Leinart once, and Matt Leinart twice.
• Andy Roddick, doing OK for himself.
• We miss Davidson already.
• Stuart Scott on the microphone.
• Joel Zumaya, bringing rock.
• Larry King really, really wants his kid to win.
• How to avoid a DUI.
• Goodbye, Chris Henry.
• Davidson's blue balls. Oh, and Stephen Curry's mom.
• Steve Lyons' questionable litigation.
• Rick Reilly, on and on.

It's nice having Daulerio around, isn't it? Matt Sussman will take you through the Final Four this weekend, and we'll be back on Monday. See you then.

Someone Should Have Canseco Throw Out The First Pitch Somewhere

• A busy week for Joe Lavin. Oh, and for Jose Canseco. Not that you really cared.
• Pat Jordan!
• Don't make Isiah go away.
• That might have been a foul.
• Drew was certainly on his game this week.
• Blit Meat!
• The Emo UCLA Fan.
• The Red Sox, A's split in Japan.
• Please make Jay Mariotti feel better about himself.
• Yeah, Davidson!

That'll do it for us. Enjoy Christmas Ape and the weekend of NCAA business. (And don't forget that wild Red Sox-Dodgers exhibition at the LA Coliseum tonight.) We'll be back Monday ... when it's Opening Day! Wee! See ya then ...

• Eliot Spitzer and David Hirshey, soccer pals.
• Our new "pal," Bob Costas.
• Apparently, some folks aren't happy with ESPN.
• Kige Ramsey, charity hero. (Oh, and no bids yet.)
• Mark Cuban remains the only blogger allowed in the Mavs' locker room.
• Hey, the brackets came out.
• We had a few game previews.
• Onions!
• The perfect bracket will never happen.
• We are headed to Milwaukee!
• Willie Mays nude!
• So close, Belmont.

All right, that's enough for us. Have a hoppy Easter, if you're into that type of thing. Unsilent Majority will take you through the second round of the tourney, and we'll be back with you Monday. Be safe out there.

The Final Hours Before Selection Sunday

• A grand anniversary.
• Tommy Bowden, not always so nice.
• Welcome back, Battlebots.
• When sleds attack.
• Mark Cuban has all kinds of confusing rules.
• Man, Felix Pie.
• Hey, UNC beat Duke.
• Enjoying Billy Crystal. For once.
• Daulerio returns. (With Bill Conlin!)
• Oh, Bob, Bob, Bob.

Next week's gonna be a crazy one, so we're gonna try to rest up while we can. Mr. Matt Sussman is your weekend top dog, and the Storming The Floor guys will check in from time to time too. And hey: Sunday, we get brackets! Sweet! See you Monday. (Or Sunday night.)

The Dregs Of Early March

• We returned from vacation.
• See ya, Favre.
• Fun with George Karl's lawyer.
• Poor Felix Pie.
• Yipes, Ministry.
• Life as a scout is a sad, scary thing.
• Juan Gonzalez!
• Greatest Highlight!
• Four square!
• It can't be fun to broadcast a marathon.
• The end of the Sonics.
• ESPN tests are hard.
• Meet our Beijing Correspondents.

OK, we're still not 100 percent back from vacation yet, so we're gonna sleep all weekend. Christmas Ape will take you through the weekend, and we'll be back rested on Monday. See you then.

Night Of The Killer Zamboni

• Help! I don't know how it works!
• Bob Knight is an ESPN analyst! I see no way this can end badly.
• The St. Louis Cardinals post that almost wasn't.
• Canadian hockey players remind us that high school is supposed to be fun.
• Will goes on a tropical island vacation, wakes up in the Scottish military.
• Jay Mariotti! (shakes fist)
• Jon Stewart played soccer for William & Mary! We have proof!
• Sean Salisbury leaves ESPN, and takes Lil' Sean with him.
• Drama and chuckles at the NFL draft combine
• Brett Favre retired! Wait, no he didn't!
• We love us some Erin Andrews.

That's it for a week in which nothing much was supposed to happen, but somehow did. Stay tuned for weekend coverage of your favorite major league spring training games, and various NFL free agent maneuvers, courtesy of the stylish Matt Sussman. Then, Christmas Ape will guide the ship into calmer waters, hopefully, on Monday, and Will returns from vacation on Tuesday. That's it for me folks. My lady and I are going to go and spend some quality weekend time. Later.

Vroom! Vroom Vroom Vroom!

• Segways!
• Mattoon! And other places!
• Lots of baseball previews.
• Nice week for Keith Van Horn.
• Andy Pettitte. Whatever.
• We miss you, Harry.
• The Marlins want your fat guys.
• The Harold Reynolds case may never begin.
• Man, you guys love Scott Van Pelt.
• Bob Knight, sold out by Lawrence Frank. Maybe.
• Mamula!
• Drew's new series debuted.

So, this Indiana situation should be interesting this weekend. We will likely sleep all the way through it. Unsilent Majority is your weekend parental unit, so enjoy his handiwork, and we'll see you on Monday.

Berman Videos Want To Be Free

• We tried out the Media Approval Ratings.
• We were in Seattle, Oak Brook, Champaign and St. Peters.
• John Rocker on steroids. Really.
• How to bond in Ohio.
• ESPN was protested, kind of.
• We talked to the guy releasing all the Berman videos, and then we just posted them ourselves.
• Goodbye, Dennis Miller. Again.
• Dog show!
• Brady Quinn, offending his main fan base.
• Pitchers and catchers!
• Roger Clemens did wonders for his reputation.

That'll do it for us; we have a one day hiatus in New York on Monday before hitting the East Coast swing of Boston, Philadelphia and Washington, D.C. next week. So we'll try to rest up. We are very proud to introduce a new member of the weekend rotation: It's Christmas Ape, from Kissing Suzy Kolber, joins our crew, so make sure to welcome as he pretends to car about the NBA All-Star Game. Have fun out there, and we'll see you Monday.

The Night Eli Manning Became A Man

• Hey, the Giants won the Super Bowl. Really.
• Poor Kevin Hart.
• The last Jambaroo until next season.
• How to sneak into the Giants victory parade.
• Fire Joe Morgan is one-third Mose Schrute.
• Patriots fans try to come to terms.
• BOO, Gordon!
• Take that, Tiki.
• Shaq to the Suns? Amazing.
• Pedro Martinez, cockfighter.
• Puppy Bowl!
• Do not listen to Sen. Arlen Specter.
• Welcome back, Dickie V.
• We were in Los Angeles, Alameda and, tonight, Seattle.

As you'd probably expect, we're pretty exhausted, but it's still awfully fun. We're flying back to the Midwest tomorrow, and will come to you live from Chicago on Monday. A special treat for you all: This weekend editor is ... The Balls! Yep, AJ Daulerio is your weekend editor, so strap in and enjoy. And we'll see you, two time zones from here, tomorrow.

Please Do Not Duck Under This Man's Camera

• Yes. Yes. A thousand times yes.
• The glamor of Glendale.
• Larry Johnson rocks.
• Gin Blossoms.
• Gilbert Arenas likes the book. (Well, that part about him, anyway.)
• Jerramy Stevens is kind of evil.
• A blog is the only place you can read Stephen A.
• Welcome back, Chris Anderson.
• Media Day is completely stupid.
• Roger Clemens and Andy Pettitte are no longer BFF.
• Book tourin'.
• Enjoy Johan Santana, Mets fans.
• The image is still scaring us.

All right. It's the "Super" "Bowl" on Sunday, and Mr. Matt Sussman will be taking you through the whole thing. We will still be writing our Times and Sporting News columns over the weekend, and we'll be back the day after the big game. We're tellin' ya: Blowout's coming. We're going to try to actually go outside and enjoy Phoenix now.

Glug Glug Glug Glug

• Hey, the book came out.
• Dana Jacobson got suspended, and then showed up in a fun picture.
• Rick Majerus respects a woman's right to choose.
• Who are the wizards who came up with this campaign?
• Not the best way for Brett to go out.
• Matt Hughes likes us.
• Stephen A. Smith becomes the blogger we always knew he was.
• Sorry, we still think this is amazing.
• These fans are more cold than they are hot.
• Bowling defense.
• Brady is just having fun with us.
• Don't forget our Super Bowl party next week.
• Joe Namath = Eli Manning. Maybe. Probably not.
• A dumb flap with Mark Cuban.
• We are not good at basketball.

Whew: That was quite a week. We think we slept a total of about 14 hours all week. Worth it, though! Sad news, though: This is the final weekend on Deadspin for the great J.E. Skeets. So go give him some Canadian love; we will miss him tremendously. We'll be back on Monday, when we'll be doing the site and packing for Arizona. See you then.

ESPN Should Have More Roasts

• Come on, we gotta find that Jacobson video.
• Fun with the Utah Jazz on New Years Eve.
• Stephen A. Smith, pundit.
• Wait, Norv Turner is a genius now?
• ESPN supports their troops.
• Phone sex.
• T.O. cries!
• ESPN comments will get you a job.
• MITT ROMNEY!
• Donte Stallworth has a friend.
• Not a good day for Tony Romo.
• Louisville does not like kissin' dude folk.
• Glen Rice doesn't like closet dwellers.
• Philip Rivers says "Hands Off!"

That's all for us, kids. Unsilent Majority will take you through the conference championship weekend. We will be working on MLK Day this Monday, so we'll be back then, on Book Day
Eve. See you then.

Fired Up, Ready To Go

• Goodbye, Oddsmaker.
• Jose Lima is indestructible.
• LSU won.
• Eli Manning, fired up, ready to go.
• GOOSE.
• Darren McFadden, scufflin'.
• Joe Gibbs, hangin' 'em up.
• Warren Sapp claims he hates gay porn.
• Len Pasquarelli is a friendly sort.
• Everyone is always wrong.
• We finally got around to that ESPN Accountability Record thing.
• Bo Pelini, handsome morsel.
• Country music is bigger in Indianapolis than hip-hop? Don't tell Lil Ronnie!
• We are off to the Super Bowl, set up our tour and all over your pornography.

All right, we, like you, are just going to enjoy all the games this weekend. And god, will we sleep. Matt Sussman is your weekend maestro, and we'll see you Monday.