whatnotaser - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Eat Ice, Evil Doers!In Canada, it's never too early to teach the fundamentals of the national sport, even to eight-year-olds. Inside and outside edges, skating backward, forward crossovers, and if there's a scuffle on the ice you go over the boards and get in a few good shots, son!...

Just Another Peaceful Day Of Youth Baseball On Long IslandAt first glance it's the story you've heard a hundred times before: Little League coach benches player for swearing; player calls dad on cell phone; dad and uncle arrive and pummel the coach unconscious on the pitcher's mound; arrests ensue. But this one has a few twists: Mob connections, federal wi...

East Side Little League Will Cap Your AssFirst of all, this is not a hockey post. This Wade Campbell is a Little League dad, who, concerned that his son wasn't getting enough playing time, had a cheerful discussion with his coach. Yes, the term "shot down like a dog" was used, but only in the most constructive of ways....

And Suddenly That Giant Hog Story Looks So Unimpressive

We like bears. As Robert Klein once said, they are the most helpful of all the animals. "If you have to be stuck in an elevator, it might as well be with a bear. 'Can you reach up there, bear?' 'Well, I think I can try ...' " But when a bear is attacking your six-year-old son, there's only one thing...

We Like The Way He Talks And He Likes The Way We Talk, Mmm Hmm

With the news yesterday that running back Quincy Wilson has become the 10th Cincinnati Bengal to be arrested in the past 14 months, we now need the measured, no-nonsense sports commentary of Kige Ramsey more than ever. If you're unfamiliar, just think of him as the Jason Whitlock of Youtube ... if, ...

SICK Is A Nice Word For What Bears Fans Are (Yeah!)

As we mentioned on Monday, we were kind of surprised that the little arts & crafts project to the right here was allowed to be displayed during the Saints-Bears game on Sunday; not that we sat up that night fretting about it, but come on. That's a little classless, if you're into the "class" thing, ...

Soccer Player To Enjoy A Year Of Imaginary Freedom

Tired of American sports figures causing mayhem with actual weapons? We present Gary Charles, a former professional English soccer player who was arrested recently for threatening a bouncer with an imaginary knife. From the BBC:...

Sadly, She Was Only On Level One

What happens when you cross Million Dollar Baby with The Miracle Worker? You get this; which we suppose is video boxing, but could also be a clearcut case of demonic possession. We blame two things for these deeply troubling images: The new wireless Wii remote, and Title IX. Clearly there are flaws ...