Six players and two coaches were suspended after Friday's brawl between the Duffield and Niagara Falls novice triple-A teams. Staff Sgt. Neal Young says after a fight broke out between players on the ice, both coaches sent the rest of their players over the boards to join in. Young also said a member of the Niagara Falls coaching staff is alleged to have spit in the face of a Duffield coach.

And of course when all else fails, throw some plywood.

Cops Probe Hockey Brawl Involving Eight-Year-Olds [CNews]

Two loutish Long Island brothers were arrested after they beat a baseball coach in front of the coach's son and the other terrified 11-year-olds on his team, cops said Wednesday. Frank Basile, 48, and Roger Basile, 43, both of Bellmore (Long Island), were charged with third-degree assault after beating coach James Edge so badly that he was taken to a hospital with a concussion and other injuries, police said.

Pictured here is Frank Basile, who was arrested at the field. He and his brother own the Hudson & McCoy restaurant in Freeport, NY, located on Long Island, which the New York Post describes as "a formerly mobbed-up fish-and-chips eatery." Hudson & McCoy indeed has an interesting history. According to a 2002 New York Times article, it was the center of a U.S. Attorneys Office investigation involving three major New York crime families, including the Gambinos and the Lucheses. My favorite graph:

The prosecutors said the Luchese involvement became quite specific, including an order directing ''the nominal owners of the restaurant, Roger and Frank Basile,'' to buy bread from Salvatore Cambria, whom they identified as a soldier in the Colombo family known as Sallie Bread.

For other (unsubstantiated) tidbits, please see the Newsday message board, which, by the way, makes our comments section look like the convent in The Sound of Music:

These two guys are mobbed up. They used to own Sprats on the Water and Sprats on Land as well as several other night clubs in Nassau County. Frank is good friends with John Gotti Jr. and was also linked to the "Pizza connection" of the 70's and 80's in which herion was smuggled in pizza doe. Being a former employee (many years ago) I have seen these guys do a lot worse. You watch theses charges will go away fast. They are both sorry excuses for a parent. — NY CC, San Jose, CA

Call the Dept. of Game & Wildlife. I found the missing racoon from the Nassau game farm, it's on Rogers head. — Pete, Greenport, NY

Basile is also known, according to the Daily News, as an accomplice in the beating of a football fan in an Island Park restaurant, to which former New York Jets lineman Mark Gastineau pleaded guilty in 1991.

Methinks young Basile is going to have a hard time finding a baseball team that will take him in 2008. Just a hunch.

Brothers Busted For Beat-Down Of LI Youth Baseball Coach [NY Daily News]
Kids' Dad And Uncle 'Pummel' L.I. Coach [New York Post]
Prosecutors Say Wiretaps Picked Up Chit-Chat Revealing Mob Activities [New York Times]
Newsday Message Board

Wade Campbell threatened to shoot his son's Little League coach when the 12-year-old didn't see enough playing time, the coach alleges. Police arrested Wade Campbell, 46, Sunday after he called the coach and told him "he was going to be shot down like a dog and that they 'f——- with the wrong East Sider," according to a criminal complaint charging Campbell with making terroristic threats.

Judging from dad's photo, we can only imagine how lithe, athletic and fleet on the basepaths Campbell's son must be. We're sure he's indistinguishable from Benny Rodriguez in The Sandlot, and this is all just politics, pure and simple. Campbell's son should be playing every inning of every game! This is bullshit, man!

They're Not As Good As My Kid [Twin Cities.com]
First A Tirade, Then A Threat To Shoot Coach, Charges Say [Minneapolis Star Tribune]

But Logan was the one who ended up getting scared and getting the bear's attention. The bear dropped the cooler and headed towards Logan, growling. The boys' dad, an ex-Marine, knew he had to do something. So he grabbed the closest thing he could find — a log. "(I) threw it at it and it happened to hit the bear in the head and I thought it just knocked it out but it actually ended up killing the bear," said Chris, who ended up being cited for not properly storing his food. But that's not what he feels bad about. "I feel bad about killing the bear," said Chris.

Of course had that been Barry Zito, the campsite would have been littered with thrown logs and there would have been bears on second and third with no outs.

By the way, someone should have called Rod Marinelli.

Ex Marine Kills Bear With Log [AccesNorthGa, via Fark]

With the news yesterday that running back Quincy Wilson has become the 10th Cincinnati Bengal to be arrested in the past 14 months, we now need the measured, no-nonsense sports commentary of Kige Ramsey more than ever. If you're unfamiliar, just think of him as the Jason Whitlock of Youtube ... if, you know, Jason Whitlock fixed lawnmowers and carried around every book he owned wrapped in a belt.

We find Ramsey just about perfect in every way. Others, however, may think him a bit unpolished. Not to worry: The blog Bengal Stripes has a few pointers for him:

How to improve your Youtube home sportscast set-up:

1. Get somebody else to operate camera
2. Remove refrigerator from doorway
3. Show marginal enthusiasm
4. Prepare
5. Make sure calendar shows correct month
6. Update wood paneling

We're pretty confident that with these changes, Ramsey will soon unlock the secret to getting us out of the Middle East. And this just in ... a Browns player has now been arrested. There'll be precious little time for biscuits and mustard today.

Slingblade Bengals Commentary [Bengals Stripes]
Not Changing Their Stripes: 10th Bengal Arrested [MSNBC]
Cops Use Stun Gun On Browns Rookie [MSNBC]

But don't fret, Saints fans, because ABC26 New Orleans TV news correspondents Liz Reyes and Glynn Boyd were on the scene at Soldier Field on Sunday, and they had your back. Their report on other indignities that Saints' fans had to endure from the Chicago faithful included taunts of "Where's FEMA?" and "You from New Orleans? Too bad you didn't drown!" But the highlight came during an interview with two female New Orleans fans, which went like this:

"They have not been very nice ... (in background: "Super Fucking Bowl! Super Fucking Bowl!") ... We're so proud of what the Saints have done for the city of New Orleans, we owe them everything ... (Bears fan jumps into camera shot, yelling "Super Bowl! Super Bears!" Woman pushes him in the face) ... Don't hug me!"

Our favorite part: Boyd then yells at the Bears fan, "Come on, Gov!"

Despicable Bears Fans [ABC26]
Rex Grossman, Like Jim McMahon, But Without The Sunglasses And Headband [Deadspin]
'Worst' Banner At Playoff Game [MSNBC]

Derby Crown Court was told Charles had previously been found guilty of assault occasioning actual bodily harm after a three-day trial in July. The court had heard how he attacked a woman after she joked he was not good enough to play for Manchester United. He repeatedly kicked her in the face and head in the 2005 assault. He was sentenced to 12 months in jail.

It would have been worse, but the woman's face was quickly stolen by the forward from Nigeria.

All proving that nothing much makes sense when David Hirshey takes a week off.

Former England Footballer Jailed [BBC]

What happens when you cross Million Dollar Baby with The Miracle Worker? You get this; which we suppose is video boxing, but could also be a clearcut case of demonic possession. We blame two things for these deeply troubling images: The new wireless Wii remote, and Title IX. Clearly there are flaws with both.

There is a new web site that is keeping track of all the damage caused by Wii remotes; it seems that the wireless devices are being accidentally hurled into household objects with alarming frequency. WiiHaveAProblem.com has begun tallying the destruction, among which so far are eight broken television screens, assorted dishes, and a ceiling fan. As for our video boxer, however, it appears that all she has damaged is her dignity. From the site:

Hands down favorite part is the faint cry of "Where's the stop button?" My dear, once you've tasted Wii wonderfulness, there is no stop button.

Barbara Bush Finds New Face For 'Just Say No' Campaign [Wii Have A Problem]
Nintendo Cautions Gamers On Wii Safety [MSNBC]

One of the parents is a judge, of course.

The parents got thier way, the panel made their choices, and ... none of their daughters made the team. But this hasn't ended the controversy. The San Francisco Chronicle reports:

Nope, the parents continue to insist. It was a conspiracy. They wanted Nibarger fired this year, and if they couldn't get that (and they couldn't after formal complaints to the principal, district and school board), they were going to make her life miserable.

It's clear that we're in a quagmire at Castro Valley High. NBC has officially called it a civil war, and pulling out our troops immediately seems to be the only option.

Castro Valley Hoops Coach Can't Win [SFGate]
Swiftboat Veterans For Truth In Girls High School Basketball [Deadspin]

When stopped, Bryant was uncooperative, combative and verbally abusive. He refused to step out of the car. The officers were forced to use leather restraints to put Bryant in a seated position with his legs straight and his hands cuffed behind his back.

Welcome back, Niners. We couldn't be prouder.

49er Arrested After Topping 100 In Lamborghini [MSNBC]