The '72 Dolphins Are Still The Worst, Will Visit The White House

Goddammit. Football season hasn't even started yet, and the '72 Dolphins have already found a way to weasel their way into the news cycle. The NFL's most insufferable group of old dudes will be visiting the White House next Tuesday so that their undefeated season can be honored. » 8/14/13 11:00am 8/14/13 11:00am

The Secret Service Says Delonte West Was Never Banned From The White…

When he wasn't playing basketball games this weekend, Delonte West spent his days engaged in leisurely Twitter meltdowns: He complained about his salary and his team, and related it all to the media's portrayal of him since his arrest in 2009. He also singled out one particular writer who he says needs to "get Bron dick … » 1/09/12 1:30pm 1/09/12 1:30pm

FC Barcelona Attempts To Train On National Mall, Gets Smacked Down By…

There was a time when rowdy pick-up soccer games took place on the Ellipse in front of the White House, when a powerful leg could damn near reach the Rose Garden. No longer. The pigs cracked down after 9/11, when it was decreed that foreign commie sports enjoyed by minorities were not to be played within a mile of… » 7/29/11 12:00pm 7/29/11 12:00pm

Nixon's Nightmare Was Brought To Life At The White House Today

The world champion San Francisco Giants, accompanied by Willie Mays, visited the White House today, in all their scraggly, bearded glory. President Obama made jokes about Brian Wilson's beard ("I do fear it"), his attire ("Now underneath Brian's beard, and the spandex tuxedo, and the sea captain costume, and the cleats… » 7/25/11 6:30pm 7/25/11 6:30pm