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Awkward Minnesota Super Bowl "War Room" Is One Big Tiger Woods High Five

So my home state of Minnesota "won" the right to host Super Bowl LII in 2018, presumably because Zygi Wilf convinced local taxpayers to pony up for a new stadium with funds from electronic pull-tab games that haven't generated any actual revenue yet, and such triumphs must be rewarded. Anyway, since there is nothing… » 5/20/14 4:46pm 5/20/14 4:46pm

Fifty Years After the March, White People Are Still a Disgrace

The white guy was looking up at the TV in a rest stop on the Jersey Turnpike. Onscreen, the news was showing John Lewis speaking at the anniversary of the March on Washington. "I am not going to stand by and let the Supreme Court take the right to vote away from us," Lewis said. The white guy in the rest stop glared… » 8/29/13 2:14pm 8/29/13 2:14pm

Video of Violent, Rioting Surfers Shows White Culture of Lawlessness

A frightening and violent mob swept through the normally quiet seaside community of Huntington Beach last night following a surfing competition in the area. Businesses were vandalized and looted, portable toilets overturned, and brutal fistfights waged right out in the open. It was an ugly display and a sad day for… » 7/30/13 11:47am 7/30/13 11:47am

UFC Fighter Justin "The Viking" Wren Went To Eastern Congo And All The…

This video is a few months old, but it's making the internet rounds today, and it is adorable enough that we're going to share it with you. Justin "The Viking" Wren, a former UFC fighter and a graduate of The Ultimate Fighter: Heavyweights, is also a Christian "advocate." Here he is on a mission trip (possibly from… » 2/27/13 11:15am 2/27/13 11:15am

Boxing's Great White Hope Problem; Or, Why The Fuck Was Mike Lee In A…

During last night's Super Bowl, one professional boxer appeared in a commercial. It was not Floyd Mayweather, and it was not Manny Pacquiao, though they are the two highest-earning athletes in all of sports. It was not any champion of any weight division at all. It was Mike Lee, a mediocre light heavyweight with only… » 2/04/13 5:10pm 2/04/13 5:10pm

Top Basketball Recruit Jabari Parker Is Ideal For BYU, But BYU Isn't…

This has been a breakthrough year for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. Mitt Romney captured the Republican presidential nomination. Manti Te'o led the Notre Dame football team to an undefeated regular season and a No. 1 ranking. And now the nation's top basketball prospect, Jabari Ali Parker, has taken… » 12/14/12 9:00am 12/14/12 9:00am

There's A White Guy In The Slam Dunk Contest

Fair warning: the lineup for the dunk contest at All-Star weekend is out, and it is uninspiring. You've got Indiana's Paul George, Minnesota's Derrick Williams, New York's Iman Shumpert (assisted by Jeremy Lin), and Houston's Chase Budinger. The superstars won't do these kinds of competitions any more, but at least… » 2/16/12 12:45pm 2/16/12 12:45pm

GQ's Michael Vick Story Will Just Make White People Angry Again

This one, penned by Yahoo! movie blogger Will Leitch, drops tomorrow at 7 a.m. so the mag has started to send out embargoed teases to other media outlets to get the buzziest buzz going on this thing but, shit, why wait 12 hours for the good stuff? You'll read it all tomorrow on GQ's website, right? Promise? Good. So… » 8/17/11 7:15pm 8/17/11 7:15pm

NBA Scouts Agree: Jimmer Fredette Is Very, Very White

The best part about yesterday's foreseeable New York Times story on Jimmer Fredette wasn't the obvious notion that Fredette might make for a less-than-dominant NBA player. Far better and more obvious was the list of less-than-dominant NBA players that several front-office types used to assess Fredette: Jeff Hornacek,… » 3/24/11 12:15pm 3/24/11 12:15pm

No White Person Has Ever Broken 10 Seconds in the 100 Meters

I thought 2008 would be our year. I really did. After all, if a black man can be elected President (hopefully), then a white person could break 10 seconds, right? But the 100 meters came and went and once more the fastest white man in the history of the universe remains some guy named Marian Woronin from Poland who… » 8/20/08 4:30pm 8/20/08 4:30pm