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Joe Posnanski: “I Am The Worst Thing To Come Out Of Cleveland Since Arsenio Hall”
You Cleveland fans are hurt. Angry. Confused. Annoyed. You need someone to blame for your loss. Well, will a coerced apology from Joe Posnanski do? I think it will....

Adrian Peterson Will Not Save Your Community College Football Program
This just in: Adrian Peterson is not donating $150,000 to save the North Iowa Area Community College football program, as was reported on Friday. Also, there is no Batman. Sorry everyone....

Dead Boater Jokes Are Not A Big Hit In Detroit
I know the story of three football players drowning in the Gulf of Mexico seems like a comedic goldmine, but as Detroit radio host Mike Valenti learned, there is such a thing as too soon....

Who's Sorry Now? (Martellus Bennett Rap Fail Edition)
The Cowboys' Martellus Bennett is sorry for that earlier rap, when he rhymed "Romo" with "homo." Precisely $22,000 worth of sorry. So he'd like to make it up to you with ... another rap....

A Detroit Columnist Caught Making Stuff Up? Surely Not
Detroit News columnist Rob Parker really doesn't appear on my radar screen much, except for this infamous column, and of course his work on the dearly departed Quite Frankly with Stephen A. Smith. So that's two strikes against him right there. But now comes the news that he apparently fabricated sou...

Who's Sorry Now? Josh Howard Edition
So far this has been quite the year for Josh Howard. Drag racing. Smokin' the reefer. And my favorite, disrespecting the National Anthem on YouTube. OK, who among is hasn't done all three? (I'm doing two of them right now). But for Howard, high-profile small forward for the Dallas Cubans, such trans...

Torry Holt Would Like to Apologize for Sucking
First Steven Jackson was totally not happy with Rams' head coach Scott Linehan's decision to bench Marc Bulger in favor of Trent Green. Former All Pro and now mediocre wide receiver Torry Holt is the latest to voice his displeasure with the whole situation. He just wants to play some football, "It w...

Who's Sorry Now? Chris Cooley Edition
The nation is still buzzing over Wienergate; when Redskins tight end Chris Cooley posted a naked photo of himself — including shlong — on his personal blog over the weekend. This has caused much consternation at Clan Cooley; the photo was removed late Sunday, and now Chris has issued a mea culpa. It...

Reds Management Would Like To Apologize For All The Sucking
In an odd move even for them, the Cincinnati Reds front office has written an open letter to fans to apologize for being in last place. Of course, CEO Bob Castellini and GM Walt Jocketty don't admit to any wrongdoing — there were injuries! And the weather has been generally bad! — but they don't wan...

Who's Sorry Now? ESPN Columnist Edition
I wanted the final Who's Sorry Now? post during Will's tenure to be a memorable one, and this one's a doozy. Jemele Hill's latest column over at the Page Dos includes the phrase "I'm sorry," not once, but three times ... plus dozens of other variations of the term sprinkled throughout. It's a mea cu...

Who's Sorry Now? Rocket Edition
Nowhere in the recorded history of regret has there been a more hang-dog expression than this. Hasn't Roger Clemens suffered enough? Just look at him. The round head that reminds you of the boulder that chased Indiana Jones. The pale skin that reminds you of the moon. The furrowed brow where he keep...

Who's Sorry Now? Melo Edition
There is possibly no one on earth who is sorrier than Carmelo Anthony right now; his DUI arrest on Monday has placed him in a state of regret that can actually be seen from space. Call it the Great Wall of Remorse. We just couldn't ignore it here at Who's Sorry Now. Here's his statement, found on th...

Who's Sorry Now? Patriots Spygate Edition
So who does one believe in this Matt Walsh vs. Bill Belichick videotaping-the-Rams-Super-Bowl-walkthrough controversy? Is Walsh, as Belichick would have us believe, a rogue agent, out there operating without any decent restraint, totally beyond the pale of any acceptable human conduct? Or is Belichi...

Who's Sorry Now? Fat Guy Edition
In possibly the biggest apology in soccer history (until the LA Galaxy gets around to explaining the whole Beckham thing), Diego Maradona has apparently admitted that it was his hand — not God's — that pushed home Argentina's game-turning goal against England in the 1986 World Cup. Of course, the fa...

Who's Sorry Now? Herm Edwards Edition
Kansas City Chiefs head coach Herm Edwards, we salute you. Not only did you basically tell your fans to go #### themselves after they complained about the Chiefs' losing record, but then you were forced to sloppily apologize; essentially humbling yourself before fat guys who wear bags over their hea...

Phil Jackson Just Can't Quit You
Sure, Phil Jackson's post-game comments on Tuesday were controversial. But the cinematography was spectacular, and we say he deserves an Oscar. Wait, what? After losing to the Spurs on Tuesday, Jackson said "We call this a 'Brokeback Mountain' game because there's so much penetration and kickouts." ...

Who's Sorry Now? Naked Coach Edition
If there's one thing you learn as a kid, it's that you never apologize for your Halloween costume. Hey, it's Halloween ... shit happens. Just ignore the critics and move on. But now Detroit quarterback Jon Kitna says he is very sorry for dressing as naked assistant Lions coach Joe Cullen, and would ...

Bill Belichick Is Very, Very Sorry. Just Kidding ... He Couldn't Care Less
Yes, it's the man whom you never thought you'd see leading off Who's Sorry Now, because he never apologizes for anything ... Mr. Bill Belichick. The New England Patriots coach issued a one-paragraph statement 10 minutes before his regular press conference on Wednesday, concerning the Beligate videot...

Brett Myers Wishes To Clear The Air
Only one apology in this edition of Who's Sorry Now?, if we're not counting Michael Vick. It's Phillies reliever Brett Myers, who expresses regret over calling Philadelphia Inquirer reporter Sam Carchidi "a retard" during a terse exchange Saturday. Myers had given up a couple of home runs against th...

Donovan, Beckham Each Politely Request A Mulligan
It's buyer's remorse day here at Who's Sorry Now, as Billy Donovan and David Beckham each ask the musical question: What exactly is the cooling off period for switching high-profile sports jobs? In Donovan's case, on Friday he decided to leave the Florida Gators to take the Orlando Magic job, then t...