Instead of suing the popular online reference site, Zoeller is taking a swing at a Miami company. In a lawsuit filed last week in Miami-Dade Circuit Court, Zoeller — suing under the name John Doe — alleged the statements were posted from a computer belonging to Josef Silny & Associates. Josef Silny, the company's president, expressed surprise when told this week by a Miami Herald reporter that the 1979 Masters champion was suing his company.

''I think it's the most bizarre thing that's ever happened in my life,'' said Silny, who added he doesn't follow golf and knows Zoeller's name only from the sports pages. Silny's firm evaluates foreign nationals' educational credentials for clients such as the state of Florida.

As much as we might question Zoeller's legal targets, we did get to wondering what the offending statements were. Wikipedia has takes the statements off his page, but the Miami Herald story said they were still on Zoeller's answers.com page. And they are. And now they're here:

Later Zoeller went public with his alcoholism and prescription drug addiction, explaining that at the time he made those statements, he was "in the process of polishing off a fifth of Jack (Daniels) after popping a handful of vicodin pills". He further detailed the violent nature of his disease, recalling how he'd viciously beat his wife Dianne and their four children while under the influence of drugs and/or alcohol. He also admitted feigning a ruptured spinal disc in 1985 so as to be prescribed a multitude of prescription medication.

We can't find any other reference to any of these issues other than on Answers.com, and there's nothing about in Lexus/Nexis. That makes us think someone just made it up to have fun with him. (Unless anyone can find anything else anywhere else.) We understand Zoeller's frustration, but if he's really trying to track down and remove everything defamatory about him on the Internets ... well, he's not gonna have time to play any golf.

Golfer Zoeller Sues Law Firm For Wikipedia Posting [Miami Herald]
Fuzzy Zoeller [Wikipedia]

(The Smoking Gun has the full complaint.)

Anyway, I was thinking about that as I stumbled across the Wikipedia page for the 2020 Summer Olympics. It seems kind of ridiculous that someone sat down to write an article about a sporting event that is still more than a decade in the future. And it seems even more ridiculous that hundreds of people took the time to edit that article.

But you know what? It's pretty cool. For instance, I had no idea that Minneapolis and Philadelphia are considering bids, as are Cape Town, Prague and Copenhagen. Although on the discussion page someone expressed extreme skepticism that Auckland was listed as a potential bid city. I'm not sure why there are no Wikipedia pages for Olympic Games even further into the future, but I have a feeling that will change soon enough — 2040, anyone?

2020 Summer Olympics [Wikipedia]

A new tradition was started on October 6th 2006, deemed "ROTC target practice." The school's ceremonial cannon lets loose a volley at a random ROTC student's leg. Afterwards, the town's fine citizens spread cheer and wish him the gift of symmetry, threatening to blow off his other leg too if he raises a fuss about it. This new tradition has been met with the community's full support.

The Target Practice Parade is in the process of being planned to commemorate the October 6th incident. This parade will feature burning effigies of the student, his leg, and his family. The parade will throw out KY jelly to the children, and incorporate a hundred goat processional. It is yet to be announced when the parade will take place.

As we mentioned yesterday, an ROTC cadet really did get his leg mangled by a ceremonial cannon at a Snohomish football game, prompting players, fans and alumni to rush to the support of ... the cannon. What? The Seattle Post-Intelligencer first reported this, and it was next picked up by Fark.com, and word on the street is that it was a Fark reader who wrote the Wikipedia entry.

You may soon change that entry, Wikipedia. But don't you change.

Snohomish Senior High School [Wikipedia]
Boy Hurt By Cannon Blast Feels Twice Wounded [Seattle Post-Intelligencer]