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New York, 5:03 AM
Tue Dec 15
12 posts in the last 24 hours

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    Nothing Kicks Off Super Bowl Weekend Better Than The Smell Of Old Strippers, Frank's Hot Sauce, And Bile

    A Thoughtful, Critical Analysis On Jiggling Breasts And Overeating
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    Image of Fawn Liebowitz Fawn Liebowitz
    01/31/09

    In reply to Nothing Kicks Off Super Bowl Weekend Better Than The Smell Of Old Strippers, Frank's Hot Sauce, And Bile
    I have been dying to attend Wing Bowl festivities for years but never had anyone to go with--maybe next year we can all go!
     Reply
    Fawn Liebowitz was starred Fawn Liebowitz was unstarred
    Image of Bob_Higginson_bubblegum_card Bob_Higginson_bubblegum_card
    01/31/09

    In reply to Nothing Kicks Off Super Bowl Weekend Better Than The Smell Of Old Strippers, Frank's Hot Sauce, And Bile
    That was the worst piece of journalism I've ever seen. Wow, Rick Riley must just laugh all the way to the bank every day. His pieces sound like white people rap, and not Eminem, it's like he doesn't even try and talks about the first thing that comes into his head. I was torn between changing the channel, and keep watching just to see how lame it got.
     Reply
    Bob_Higginson_bubblegum_card was starred Bob_Higginson_bubblegum_card was unstarred
    Image of FEAST FEAST
    01/31/09

    @Bob_Higginson_bubblegum_card: I haven't seen it, but I know that Jeremy Schaap has done worse.
     Reply
    FEAST was starred FEAST was unstarred
    Image of ClintonPortishead ClintonPortishead
    01/31/09

    In reply to Nothing Kicks Off Super Bowl Weekend Better Than The Smell Of Old Strippers, Frank's Hot Sauce, And Bile
    Alright, night fellas. Gotta make sure I'm up by noon to watch Pitt give ND their 5th straight loss. Be good.
     Reply
    ClintonPortishead was starred ClintonPortishead was unstarred
    Image of Don't Hate Azian Zero, Hate the Game Don't Hate Azian Zero, Hate the Game
    01/31/09

    In reply to Nothing Kicks Off Super Bowl Weekend Better Than The Smell Of Old Strippers, Frank's Hot Sauce, And Bile
    Yoooooooooooo, anyone up? I just got kicked out of the bar for accidentally breaking the cue stick.
     Reply
    Don't Hate Azian Zero, Hate the Game was starred Don't Hate Azian Zero, Hate the Game was unstarred
    Image of ClintonPortishead ClintonPortishead
    01/31/09

    @Back to Azian Zero: inside someone's candy ass?
     Reply
    ClintonPortishead was starred ClintonPortishead was unstarred
    Image of ClintonPortishead ClintonPortishead
    01/31/09

    In reply to Nothing Kicks Off Super Bowl Weekend Better Than The Smell Of Old Strippers, Frank's Hot Sauce, And Bile
    I may have just made a prop bet on the SB. Got favorable odds on taking both teams to make a field goal longer than 33 yards. That's a good bet, no?
     Reply
    ClintonPortishead was starred ClintonPortishead was unstarred
    Image of Bob_Higginson_bubblegum_card Bob_Higginson_bubblegum_card
    01/31/09

    @ClintonPortishead: Yes it is. 33 yards, for both teams, that's a pretty good bet. What were the odds on that one?
     Reply
    Bob_Higginson_bubblegum_card was starred Bob_Higginson_bubblegum_card was unstarred
    Image of ClintonPortishead ClintonPortishead
    01/31/09

    @Bob_Higginson_bubblegum_card: +120. I fee pretty confident about this.
     Reply
    ClintonPortishead was starred ClintonPortishead was unstarred
    Image of ClintonPortishead ClintonPortishead
    01/31/09

    In reply to Nothing Kicks Off Super Bowl Weekend Better Than The Smell Of Old Strippers, Frank's Hot Sauce, And Bile
    Just made my first ever online sports bet, put 30 bones on Federer on Sunday at +170. Eat shit, Rafa.
     Reply
    ClintonPortishead was starred ClintonPortishead was unstarred
    Image of Bob_Higginson_bubblegum_card Bob_Higginson_bubblegum_card
    01/31/09

    @ClintonPortishead: What time does that match start? I wouldnt mind watching that one.
     Reply
    Bob_Higginson_bubblegum_card was starred Bob_Higginson_bubblegum_card was unstarred
    Image of ClintonPortishead ClintonPortishead
    01/31/09

    @Bob_Higginson_bubblegum_card: airs at 3:30 I believe
     Reply
    ClintonPortishead was starred ClintonPortishead was unstarred
    Image of Andy Hutchins Andy Hutchins
    01/31/09

    @Bob_Higginson_bubblegum_card: @ClintonPortishead: Yeah, 3:30.


    I'll be up and live-blogging it. I'll leave a link in tomorrow night's DUAN.

     Reply
    Andy Hutchins was starred Andy Hutchins was unstarred
    Image of FEAST FEAST
    01/31/09

    @Rock You Like An Iracane: 3:30AM?


    Will you be covering it live?

     Reply
    FEAST was starred FEAST was unstarred
    Image of Andy Hutchins Andy Hutchins
    01/31/09

    @FEAST: Yes. Because I don't sleep. At all. Ever.


    Apparently.


    Actually, let me crowdsource this: I'd like to be up from 3:30-the end of Federer/Nadal, for at least some of the UF live blog of 'Pool/Chelsky, and for most of the pregame Super Bowl stuff through The Office afterward.


    What sleep schedule makes sense?

     Reply
    Andy Hutchins was starred Andy Hutchins was unstarred
    Image of FEAST FEAST
    01/31/09

    @Rock You Like An Iracane: What's your secret weapon?


    Speed? Meth? Adderall? Ritalin?

     Reply
    FEAST was starred FEAST was unstarred
    Image of FirstDerivative FirstDerivative
    01/31/09

    In reply to Nothing Kicks Off Super Bowl Weekend Better Than The Smell Of Old Strippers, Frank's Hot Sauce, And Bile
    Tough nite with Miss Derivative guys, anyone have anything besides me about to donk off money on stars to cheer me up?
     Reply
    FirstDerivative was starred FirstDerivative was unstarred
    Image of Chalkdust Chalkdust
    01/31/09

    @FirstDerivative:
     Reply
    Chalkdust was starred Chalkdust was unstarred
    Image of ClintonPortishead ClintonPortishead
    01/31/09

    In reply to Nothing Kicks Off Super Bowl Weekend Better Than The Smell Of Old Strippers, Frank's Hot Sauce, And Bile
    Probably common knowledge around these parts, but as I watch The Late Show with Conan, I'd just like to to remind everyone that this man wrote the Monorail episode of The Simpsons.

     Reply
    ClintonPortishead was starred ClintonPortishead was unstarred
    Image of Chalkdust Chalkdust
    01/31/09

    @ClintonPortishead: [www.metacafe.com]


    One of several things Conan has done with Martha Stewart. If you won't watch all of it, skip to 4:40 or so.

     Reply
    Chalkdust was starred Chalkdust was unstarred
    Image of ClintonPortishead ClintonPortishead
    01/31/09

    In reply to Nothing Kicks Off Super Bowl Weekend Better Than The Smell Of Old Strippers, Frank's Hot Sauce, And Bile
    I'm thinking about placing a small sum of money on Federer on Sunday, unless someone can talk me out of it.
     Reply
    ClintonPortishead was starred ClintonPortishead was unstarred
    Image of ClintonPortishead ClintonPortishead
    01/30/09

    In reply to Nothing Kicks Off Super Bowl Weekend Better Than The Smell Of Old Strippers, Frank's Hot Sauce, And Bile
    Additionally, this is the catchiest chorus in a rock song I've heard in a long while (shitty fan video but I can't find the audio anywhere else):
     Reply
    ClintonPortishead was starred ClintonPortishead was unstarred
    Image of ClintonPortishead ClintonPortishead
    01/30/09

    In reply to Nothing Kicks Off Super Bowl Weekend Better Than The Smell Of Old Strippers, Frank's Hot Sauce, And Bile
    Thank you for that. Let us all get a chance to enjoy the pleasures.


     Reply
    ClintonPortishead was starred ClintonPortishead was unstarred
    Image of Bob_Higginson_bubblegum_card Bob_Higginson_bubblegum_card
    01/30/09

    @ClintonPortishead: this could be bad now that i've learned how to post pictures. Anyways, my turn!


     Reply
    Bob_Higginson_bubblegum_card was starred Bob_Higginson_bubblegum_card was unstarred
    Image of ClintonPortishead ClintonPortishead
    01/30/09

    @Bob_Higginson_bubblegum_card: Quite frankly, I like where this is going.


     Reply
    ClintonPortishead was starred ClintonPortishead was unstarred
    Image of ClintonPortishead ClintonPortishead
    01/30/09

    In reply to Nothing Kicks Off Super Bowl Weekend Better Than The Smell Of Old Strippers, Frank's Hot Sauce, And Bile
    I know this has been touched upon, but if I hear one more half-assed Brady Quinn joke I'm going to have a stroke. We're mired in a perpetually unfunny jackassed Mad Lib of (adjective)(noun)(verbs) Brady Quinn's (noun). If this is all you have to say, don't waste the bandwidth. I'm not saying I've never made a Brady Quinn joke, and they can still be funny (as can anything) when you put some thought into it; but as far as I'm concerned, participating in an ongoing game of "That's What He Said" with Brady as the un-ending punchline fruit is the equivalent of signing your name with an X. There are funny Brady Quinn jokes to be had, in their proper forums, but if you're not adding any new words to your post than an emboldened "Brady Quinn," in the italicized midst of whatever borderline imagined homoerotic reference you just plucked from the post, just fucking stop it. Please. We can do better. We MUST do better. That is all.


    /wobbling soapbox'd

     Reply
    ClintonPortishead was starred ClintonPortishead was unstarred
    Image of Bob_Higginson_bubblegum_card Bob_Higginson_bubblegum_card
    01/30/09

    @ClintonPortishead:


    /looks around, stands up, slowly begins clapping.

     Reply
    Bob_Higginson_bubblegum_card was starred Bob_Higginson_bubblegum_card was unstarred
    Image of CanHeHackett CanHeHackett
    01/30/09

    @Bob_Higginson_bubblegum_card: If the BQ jokes suddenly die, we can say we were there at the beginning of the revolution.
     Reply
    CanHeHackett was starred CanHeHackett was unstarred
    Image of Bob_Higginson_bubblegum_card Bob_Higginson_bubblegum_card
    01/30/09

    @CanHeHackett: In the words of Oasis, gonna start a revolution from my bed. That was a lovely rant he went on though.
     Reply
    Bob_Higginson_bubblegum_card was starred Bob_Higginson_bubblegum_card was unstarred
    Image of CaliCheeseSucks CaliCheeseSucks
    01/30/09

    @ClintonPortishead: Along these same lines, why is the GW Shoe Thrower guy still around? Do I just miss the funny once in a while?


    But, uh, if we start cracking down on the jokes around here, I'm going to end up posting even less.

     Reply
    CaliCheeseSucks was starred CaliCheeseSucks was unstarred
    Image of ClintonPortishead ClintonPortishead
    01/30/09

    @Bob_Higginson_bubblegum_card: Thank you. Apparently 4 Tecates, 4 amber bocks and a bowl is a recipe for rant fuel. But i feel strongly about this. We can not just let it fester.
     Reply
    ClintonPortishead was starred ClintonPortishead was unstarred
    Image of Bob_Higginson_bubblegum_card Bob_Higginson_bubblegum_card
    01/30/09

    @ClintonPortishead: I hear you, and yeah, any type of booze and a J will do it every time. Somehow I managed to stay out of the Jack tonight, or I'm sure i'd be bitching about something. Personally, I'm sick and tired of every Charles Barkely post featuring 84 comments involving "Turrible" now that needs to stop.
     Reply
    Bob_Higginson_bubblegum_card was starred Bob_Higginson_bubblegum_card was unstarred
    Image of ClintonPortishead ClintonPortishead
    01/30/09

    @CaliCheeseSucks: I don't want to be a joke nazi, that's not the point. I just think the Brady Quinn well went dry six months ago (again there can be funny jokes; most just aren't because they're lazy). I'm probably the old man yelling at the sea in this scenario, but I do think a conscious effort can be made to resist copy-and-paste tactics.
     Reply
    ClintonPortishead was starred ClintonPortishead was unstarred
    Image of ClintonPortishead ClintonPortishead
    01/30/09

    @Bob_Higginson_bubblegum_card: but at least those stay contained within the Charles Barkley related threads. There could be a post on here about Bulgarian Women's Field hockey and if there is a phrase that could on any possible level be construed as homoerotic, then Brady Quinn will be mentioned twice in the first ten comments, at least one of which (if not both) will just be adding his name into a quote, or even lazier, a douchetastic "/Brady Quinn'd." There are a lot of baseline jokes that I wish were less frequent, but the Brady Quinn shit is by far the worst.
     Reply
    ClintonPortishead was starred ClintonPortishead was unstarred
    Image of Bob_Higginson_bubblegum_card Bob_Higginson_bubblegum_card
    01/30/09

    @ClintonPortishead: True, but I think the Barkley ones annoy me more basically because its just "Such and such thinks this is turrible" or some variation of that. Absolute ZERO attempt at creativity, plus Charles has so many great quotes, that there is tons of potential to make a good joke out them, but like the BQ ones, everyone just takes the easy way out.
     Reply
    Bob_Higginson_bubblegum_card was starred Bob_Higginson_bubblegum_card was unstarred
    Image of ClintonPortishead ClintonPortishead
    01/30/09

    @Bob_Higginson_bubblegum_card: You're preaching to the choir, my man. My approach to commenting is simple: be original, or don't bother. Not every joke is a winner, but you can't keep kicking a dead horse once it's decomposed into a pile of dist.


    @CanHeHackett: There are several things getting at me currently, the housing search certainly one. I think I'm just particularly rant-y because I just smoked for the first time in a couple weeks and unleashed the ranting man within. All for a good cause, though.

     Reply
    ClintonPortishead was starred ClintonPortishead was unstarred
    Image of CanHeHackett CanHeHackett
    01/30/09

    @ClintonPortishead: Haha I went with the random brownie and the Flyers game. It was pleasant.
     Reply
    CanHeHackett was starred CanHeHackett was unstarred
    Image of ClintonPortishead ClintonPortishead
    01/30/09

    @CanHeHackett: Nice, hope you enjoyed it. The last time I ate a brownie was as I was embarking on a 22 hour bus ride from Pittsburgh to Panama City, FL for Spring Break a couple years back. Let's just say the first 7 hours of the ride were far superior to the last 15.
     Reply
    ClintonPortishead was starred ClintonPortishead was unstarred
    Image of Chalkdust Chalkdust
    01/31/09

    @ClintonPortishead: To be clear, are Tom Brady gay jokes still cool? Also, when will the bike rack be reinstalled?


    @WadeBoggsNeverWalkedAgain: Ray Lewis hasn't witnessed any murders lately, but that doesn't stop people does it?

     Reply
    Chalkdust was starred Chalkdust was unstarred
    Image of ClintonPortishead ClintonPortishead
    01/31/09

    @ChalkdustTorture: I'm okay with any joke that is based on an original thought; just don't keep regurgitating the lowest common denominator is all I'm saying. I think people would be better served to not just constantly comment as a reflex.


    And well, with the economy and all, the bike bikes have been sold as scrap metal to pay the electricity bill. Feel free to lock your bikes om the nearest parking meter, fence post, or homeless woman.

     Reply
    ClintonPortishead was starred ClintonPortishead was unstarred
    Image of ClintonPortishead ClintonPortishead
    01/30/09

    In reply to Nothing Kicks Off Super Bowl Weekend Better Than The Smell Of Old Strippers, Frank's Hot Sauce, And Bile
    I'm pretty late getting into this new Nick Cave album, but this is fucking top notch. My Ipod is about to have a new "most played" for the next couple of weeks.
     Reply
    ClintonPortishead was starred ClintonPortishead was unstarred
    Image of Yostal Yostal
    01/30/09

    In reply to Nothing Kicks Off Super Bowl Weekend Better Than The Smell Of Old Strippers, Frank's Hot Sauce, And Bile
    Forgive me if this has already been covered but:

    Playlist A: Glory Days, My Lucky Day, Badlands, Born to Run

    Playlist B: Born to Run, Rosalita, Working on a Dream, The Rising

    Playlist C: The Rising, Darkness on the Edge of Town, Working on a Dream, Hungry Heart

    Playlist D: Born in the USA, Thunder Road, Rosalita, My Lucky Day

    Playlist E: Born to Run, Dancing in the Dark, Radio Nowhere, The Rising

    Playlist F: Rosalita, The Wrestler, Glory Days, Born to Run

    Playlist G: Glory Days, Born to Run, The Rising, Working on a Dream


    So, which of these do you guys think it will be?

     Reply
    Yostal was starred Yostal was unstarred
    Image of Mitchell Freedman Fan Club Mitchell Freedman Fan Club
    01/30/09

    @Yostal: H: Born in the USA, Dancing in the Dark, Born to Run, Glory Days


    I still enjoy the fact that 80% of the crowd would be oblivious to what Born in the USA is about.

     Reply
    Mitchell Freedman Fan Club was starred Mitchell Freedman Fan Club was unstarred
    Image of Phil Mickelsons Man Tits Phil Mickelsons Man Tits
    01/30/09

    In reply to Nothing Kicks Off Super Bowl Weekend Better Than The Smell Of Old Strippers, Frank's Hot Sauce, And Bile
    Holy Shit!


    Mike Breen just told Mark Jackson, "Don't get uppity with me."


    Whoops.

     Reply
    Phil Mickelsons Man Tits was starred Phil Mickelsons Man Tits was unstarred
    Image of J-No J-No
    01/30/09

    @Phil Mickelsons Man Tits: No he didn't.
     Reply
    J-No was starred J-No was unstarred
    Image of Phil Mickelsons Man Tits Phil Mickelsons Man Tits
    01/30/09

    @J-No:

    He certainly did.


    It wasn't meant to be a race-tainted reprimand, but it sure came out that way.

     Reply
    Phil Mickelsons Man Tits was starred Phil Mickelsons Man Tits was unstarred
    Image of Phil Mickelsons Man Tits Phil Mickelsons Man Tits
    01/30/09

    @J-No:


    Went back and checked the DVR to make sure I wasn't hallucinating.


    Jackson: Right now, I have to say the Lakers are the best team in basketball.


    Breen: Right. So this particular order right now, this is just for now? It's not who you think the best team will be?


    Jackson (annoyed): No. The question was asked today. This isn't Miss Cleo.


    Breen: Don't get uppity with me, I'm just asking you a question.

     Reply
    Phil Mickelsons Man Tits was starred Phil Mickelsons Man Tits was unstarred
    Image of Phil Mickelsons Man Tits Phil Mickelsons Man Tits
    01/31/09

    @Phil Mickelsons Man Tits:


    Here it is. Wow.

     Reply
    Phil Mickelsons Man Tits was starred Phil Mickelsons Man Tits was unstarred
    Image of Shakey Shakey
    01/31/09

    @Phil Mickelsons Man Tits: Oh my. They recovered well though, but you know there's tension.
     Reply
    Shakey was starred Shakey was unstarred
    Image of Phil Mickelsons Man Tits Phil Mickelsons Man Tits
    01/31/09

    @Shakey: Jackson handled it like a pro, but I'm sure we'll be hearing a Breen apology real soon.
     Reply
    Phil Mickelsons Man Tits was starred Phil Mickelsons Man Tits was unstarred
    Image of Andy Hutchins Andy Hutchins
    01/31/09

    @Phil Mickelsons Man Tits: Twittered.


    I'd recommend you send it to AJ, too. Tips@ds and all that.

     Reply
    Andy Hutchins was starred Andy Hutchins was unstarred
    Image of Phil Mickelsons Man Tits Phil Mickelsons Man Tits
    01/31/09

    @Rock You Like An Iracane:


    Yup. Already did.


    It'll be interesting to see how this plays out, especially in light of all the race-related apologies coming out of Bristol in '08.

     Reply
    Phil Mickelsons Man Tits was starred Phil Mickelsons Man Tits was unstarred
    Image of Andy Hutchins Andy Hutchins
    01/31/09

    @Phil Mickelsons Man Tits: Did you read the Ombudsmarm's interview with TBL today? Good, interesting stuff.


    Also, check your messages.

     Reply
    Andy Hutchins was starred Andy Hutchins was unstarred
    Image of Phil Mickelsons Man Tits Phil Mickelsons Man Tits
    01/31/09

    @Rock You Like An Iracane:


    I didn't, but I will. Thanks for the tip. I love LeAnne, and think her column is actually the most well-written one on ESPN.com.


    I just replied to your message.

     Reply
    Phil Mickelsons Man Tits was starred Phil Mickelsons Man Tits was unstarred
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