Shabtai Kalmanovich, one of Prokhorov's partners in post-Soviet billionaire sports owner crime, was murdered on Monday. Kalmanovich is the owner of the Spartak Moscow women's basketball team that is famous for shelling out big bucks to sign WNBA stars like Lauren Jackson, Sue Bird, and Diana Taurasi. He was also gunned down on the streets of Moscow when another car pulled up alongside his and opened fire. Yeah, not exactly a random act of violence.

Police say they believe that the murder could be linked to Kalmanovich's business activities, and maybe even "his prominent role in Russian basketball." So that must make people like Prokhorov feel really safe and secure. The NBA too. It sure won't make David Stern comfortable imagining one of his owners getting blown away outside the Meadowlands. (Of course, if it happened at the Meadowlands there's a chance no one would notice.) Maybe he's trying to buy the Nets not to bring NBA "technology" to his homeland, but so he can get the hell out of dodge.

Personally, I'm shocked to learn that running a business in the former Soviet Republics could be so dangerous! Or ... here's another theory. Kalmanovich is also a former KGB spy who spent time in an Israeli prison for espionage. I'm not an expert on the post-Cold War politics of Eastern European spy networks, but I'm going to go out on a limb and say his brazen gangland murder might be related to that.

Spartak Moscow owner Shabtai Kalmanovitch assassinated [Women Talk Sports]
Ex-Shin Bet, KGB double agent shot dead in Moscow [Haaretz]
Ex-spy Kalmanovich to be buried in Israel [YnetNews]
Russian spy-turned-tycoon gunned down [The Age]

•Did you hear Lopez Tonight is coming to TBS? Day 1 of the playoffs went just as planned, with the Phillies, Yankees and Dodgers all winning. Wait, back up. The Dodgers? I guess whoever said they have no pitching was mistaken. Getting 3.2 innings from Randy Wolf is more than they could have hoped for.

•Dez Bryant is ruled ineligible not because he met with Deion Sanders, but because he lied about meeting with Deion Sanders. Let this be a lesson to our younger readers: if your parents ever catch you doing something bad, it's best to be honest and tell them you were with Deion Sanders.

•Allen Iverson may miss the Grizzlies' season opener as he recovers from a hamstring injury, but let's get real here: if you're counting on Allen Iverson in 2009 to be a crucial part of your team, you're probably not shooting for the stars anyway.

•Your injured quarterbacks update: Donovan McNabb probably, Tim Tebow maybe, Eli Manning maybe not. JaMarcus Russell isn't injured, but is listed as doubtful to play "football."

•Phoenix pulls out a win and forces the WNBA Finals to a deciding fifth game. This was exactly what the league didn't need; there's no way anyone will be paying attention to the WNBA once the UFL starts up tonight.

•Stars broadcaster Daryl Reaugh predicts Dallas will win their opening game. They don't. Now Reaugh's springing for free tickets for all in attendance. Let's hope he doesn't make the guarantee again; have you seen Marty Turco lately? Reaugh may have to spring for season tickets.

•We close with a link to the top ten hits in youth football. Does it make it sadder or funnier that they're children? We say funnier. A highlight:

In advance of tonight's Phoenix-Indiana game, GM Steve Kerr purchased the entire upper level, so the first 7,000 fans who wanted them got in for free.

Larry Bird purchased the upper level for the Fever's Game 3 of the Eastern Conference Finals in Indiana and I want to show the same support for our amazing Mercury," Kerr said in a statement. "Both of us were part of championship teams and understand the importance of a packed house. For anyone who doubts the WNBA level of play, this is an opportunity to see for yourself. I challenge any doubters to come see the talent, skill and intensity on the court."

By the way, this was announced yesterday, so this is less of a goodwill gesture and more of a "let's avoid embarrassing our league" gesture.

So, even with free tickets to this Mercury-Fever game, do Phoenix fans have, er, Mercury Fever? In a poll on the U.S. Airways Center website asking what people are most looking forward to, this series is currently losing to, among other things, "Kristi Yamaguchi & Friends."

Fans Can Score Free Mercury Tickets [Arizona Republic]

But not just any puppets! This is "Sesame Street Live!" You know: Elmo! Oscar The Grouch! Big Bird! Seriously, who would you rather watch in action: Chamique Holdsclaw or Bert and Ernie? The people of Atlanta share that opinion — at least, they don't really have a say in the matter — so the Muppets were booked for Sept. 17-20 in Phillips Arena. What else could be happening Sept. 17-20 in Phillips Arena? Not the WNBA playoffs.

"It's a common problem for many WNBA teams that play in NBA arenas," Dream President Bill Bolen said. "September is a very popular month for family shows at a lot of these arenas. In our case Sesame Street has been booked for a year. It's not something you can plan around. It's a very profitable show."

Mo' money, mo' problems.

The backup plan, sensibly, might be moving the playoff games to Thomson-Boling Arena on the campus of your Tennessee Lady Volunteers, all the way up in Knoxville. Hmm, you might think, isn't that 200 miles away? Why, yes. Yes it is. And it's still "the best place to play" if the team has to leave the Atlanta metro area, Dream President Bill Bolen said. I have a few other ideas, if I may. There's this great outdoor court a few blocks from my apartment — newly paved and everything — and it's only about six hours from Atlanta.

Also, I've heard Russia's lovely this time of year. Just make sure there's not a traveling troupe of Muppets in Moscow or anything.

Sunny day! Elmo stares down Dream and wins! [AJC]
Dream may be on the road for home playoff games [USA Today]

That's the issue that guides Mike Wise's Monday column, which bravely deals with the don't show, don't kiss policy at WNBA games in Washington D.C. And — get this — there's even some good, old-fashioned, shoe-shine reporting. Fancy that! As so often happens in the reporting process, Wise soon outs the not-so-surprising answer to his query:

Understood is that women's professional basketball has two major fan bases: dads and daughters, and lesbians. The KissCam issue, frivolous on its surface, puts the effort to cater to both audiences squarely at odds.

...

"We got a lot of kids here," Sheila Johnson, the Mystics' managing partner, said when asked last week at a game. "We just don't find it appropriate."

That's coming from the woman who goes on to say that she doesn't have a problem with Exxon, a company that scored 0/100 on the Human Rights Campaign's corporate quality index, because Exxon brings in money. It's money that the Mystics need. But that other issue-that-must-not-be-named? It might be too jarring for the children.

Granted, the Mystics are in a difficult position, just like everyone else in Washington. There are, as you might have guessed, politics involved. But it's easy to think in ideals. If only we lived in a world where love equals love — where fathers could kiss their daughters, women could kiss each other on the KissCam and Exxon could kiss away its employees' human rights. Can't we all just smooch and make up?

Mystics Give Big Issue The Kiss-off [Washington Post]

If you'll recall, Robert Horry and Estella Warren were booted last week, which was perfect timing, because this week the contestants got to play basketball! I hope no one wanted to see Big Shot Rob show off his one marketable skill. But more on that later. First ... swimming!

Julio Iglesias Jr. is like a fish. He got stuck with the slowest swimming partner in Brandi Chastain, but motored past everyone in the 100-meter or so water dash to save second place for his team. Kristi Leskinen and Maksim Chmerkovskiy won this event easily, because they are the only team where at least one partner is not constantly tripping over their own feet. As long as they stick to contests that don't involve any real sports skill, there's no way they don't win this thing. So hey, let's play some hoops!

Remember, one person left actually gets paid to shoot basketballs for a living, so you would think said person would have a distinct advantage in a Rock-n-Jock style shoot-around. You know what happens when you assume?

Look, everyone picks on the WNBA, but ... can you really blame everyone? Lisa Leslie, former league MVP, clanged about 10 jumpshots in a minute and her team failed miserably in the only sport that any of these "superstars" actually plays. If they'd some how rigged up a downhill skiing contest and Bode Miller lost, wouldn't he be embarrassed too? This is not a good commercial for your fundamentally sound league.

(Tangent: Speaking of commericals, did you see the spots for "Dating In The Dark"? People go on literal blind dates, making out with strangers in a pitch-black room, in order to prove that everyone on Earth is a superficial a-hole. It's gold, Jerry.)

So Brandi and Julio won the day, and even started this weird kiss on the cheek ritual, because that's what the son of Julio Iglesias does. Terrell Owens and Bode Miller have mastered the obstacle course—and it really is a lame obstacle course—so their teams managed to stay alive. That left Lisa Leslie/David Chavret and Jeff Kent/Ali Landry in the final obstacle course relay. In the same way that the Lisa was not an advertisement for the WNBA's fundamentals, Jeff Kent is not advertisement for baseball's calisthenics regimen. He got smoked by a fake lifeguard and he and Ali ended up going home.

But I think they learned a lot about themselves and the power of Ali's sports bras.

The Superstars [ABC]

Taurasi is both the leading vote-getter for the WNBA's July 25th All-Star Game and, as the Phoenix Business Journal points out, the newest addition to a growing list of current and former Phoenix ball players who have been busted recently for drunk driving (a list rounded out by ex-Sun and celebrated blowjob ranker Charles Barkley, and current Sun Jason Richardson).

What is it about living in the desert that makes people so thirsty?

Phoenix police: Mercury's Taurasi cited for DUI [AP]
Phoenix Mercury star Diana Taurasi cited for DUI [Phoenix Business Journal]

Known also as WNBA Dancer, the Jam Cam Ham or simply Dennis, he took the spotlight sometime in 2007 during a brief Comets time out and made it his own. With America entrenched in two wars and showing signs of a weakening economy, he taught us to "Jump On It," and gave us all hope with his reckless, carefree dance stylings.

Once he got going, we wished the music would last forever. Alas, it did not. Houston mayor Bill White's November deadline to find local ownership came and went without any interested buyers, so the league, which had been running the team since August, decided to shut the doors. Comets players will be placed in a dispersal draft.

It's a sad day. But as long as there is YouTube, we will always have Comet Boy.

Houston Comets Disbanding [Inside Hoops]
Falling Comets Shut Down By WNBA [Houston Chronicle]