Well, it took long enough, but it's finally time for the World Cup Final. It's your favorite divers from Italy against the surrender monkeys from France. It's non-stop fun; it's the World Cup.

We're down to the final three teams in the World Cup — unless you count the third-place game, and who counts the third place game? — and we're knocking out one of them right now. The first team in the World Cup Finals is Italy; who will be the second, as they say?

It's still hard to believe that the United States tied a team that's one game away from the semifinals. We think maybe the Italians should be disqualified on that indignity alone.

And, at last, after a whole two days without soccer, the quarterfinals have begun, in what we think is probably the best quarterfinal matchup of all. The Argentinians have often looked like the best team here, but the Germans, you know, they're hosting, and they've looked doggone good themselves. Doggone good. You see.

A little way to keep yourself entertained during this World Cup if you happen to be the sort who has trouble retaining interest? Pretend the countries are their corresponding characters in "Mike Tyson's Punch Out." Therefore, this one is Don Flamenco vs. Glass Joe. There. Don't you feel better? You can now RELATE!

If you're the type of person who's still upset about the United States losing to Ghana last week, you might be lamenting that this could have been the U.S. playing in this game. But you know what? We highly doubt you're that type of person.

As we continue along the Round of 16 — these games really are quite more exciting when they loser goes home — we start off your weekday live blogging with a team representing a country that was founded by the exiled convicts of another country ... and, much worse, a team that tied the United States. Heavens. How…

The tightest of all the groups, Group G has three teams all with legitimate chances at making it into the next round. But these are the only two who control their proverbial destiny. The winner here automatically wins the Group and advances to play Ukraine next Monday. A draw means all kinds of chaos if France beats…

Ah, France. The French might have won the whole business two World Cups ago, but right now, they're looking like they could be in serious trouble. They need a win here, obviously, and then they have to either win convincingly or hope the Switzerland-Korea game doesn't end up in a draw. That's what happens when you come …