This is not the degenerate Cubs mascot whose pantsless existence we've all come to know and struggle to comprehend. This is just some bootleg, pantsless, degenerate Cubs mascot who does not enjoy it at all when people remove his head.
Having to go the bathroom at a bar is the worst. It always smells like piss and shit, everything is either soaking wet or sticky, drunk dudes always want to strike up a conversation, and sometimes crazy people jump out from the bathroom stall and stab you in the neck with a broken beer bottle. From the Chicago Tribune: