Ronaldo's Facial Fitness Commercial Is Inexplicable, Perfect

Have you been looking for a way to achieve maximum facial tone that doesn't make you feel so bored and tired? Isn't it time you had a way to be happy with your facial fitness without all the hassle? There have probably been dozens of scientists with degrees in science-related fields who have long argued that there is » 8/06/14 10:07pm 8/06/14 10:07pm

Darryl Strawberry Casually Confirms Insane Cat Decapitation Story

Of baseball's many urban legends, few are as psychotic as the story of animal torture first told in Heat, the 1999 autobiography of Mets pitcher Dwight Gooden. In that book, Gooden gives a firsthand account of former teammate Kevin Mitchell drunkenly threatening his girlfriend with a 12-inch knife before cutting her… » 8/06/14 12:09pm 8/06/14 12:09pm

This Is A Browns Fan Pissing On Art Modell's Grave


How do you turn Art Modell into a sympathetic figure? You don an Ed Reed Ravens jersey (to fool people who might find a dude in a Browns jersey visiting Art Modell's grave suspicious, natch), hold your pee for a while, get yourself a catheter, and then dramatically reveal your hidden Lyle Alzado jersey while… » 7/22/14 9:00pm 7/22/14 9:00pm

Bizarre Video: Rick Majerus Leading A "Hoes Anonymous" Meeting

This is a video of the late Rick Majerus leading something called a "Hoes Anonymous" meeting. There's a title card at the beginning of the clip, informing us of some kind of dream sequence, so this has got to be from an unfinished, or never released film, with the possible working title Never Greener. Basically it's… » 7/17/14 1:17am 7/17/14 1:17am

We Have Another Minnesota Twins Back-Hair Jersey

It's hard to say if it's the same guy who sported the Joe Mauer hir-suit a few years back, but we have a few clues. Our first clue is: a dude with enough hair to legibly shave words and numbers into his back hair. Our second clue is: similar male pattern baldness on both men. Our third clue is: a willingness to… » 7/12/14 1:00pm 7/12/14 1:00pm

Marty Brennaman Gets Real Dark, Real Quick During Twitter Q&A Segment

Marty Brennaman, Hall of Fame broadcaster for the Cincinnati Reds, was asked what his greatest fear was during a Twitter question segment (during the game) and he levelled with us all. "That's a serious question...that's one that, uh, I would not make light of," he says, and holy shit, he is not kidding. » 6/24/14 12:12am 6/24/14 12:12am

Bill Simmons Lays Out Nonsensical Theory About LeBron James

At the half during last night's Miami Heat-Indiana Pacers game, ESPN multiplatform presence Bill Simmons offered up a remarkable theory to explain why LeBron James came out slowly in the game. James, he speculated, may have been distracted by the results of the NBA draft lottery, in which his former team, the… » 5/21/14 12:02pm 5/21/14 12:02pm