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Closed Captioning Goes Insane During Fox NASCAR Broadcast

Reader Doug noticed last night that the closed captioning for Fox Sports 1's NASCAR broadcast "seemed to be drunk." Sure enough, midway through the second race at Daytona the captioning suddenly started spitting out repeated misspellings of various MLB stars' names. This went on for more than five minutes; we… » 2/20/15 12:33pm 2/20/15 12:33pm

Dumbest Man Alive Gives Dumbest Possible Explanation For Dumb HOF Vote

This year, I decided to make my life a little happier by giving up on my usual winter pastime of hate-reading terrible Hall of Fame columns written by trolls and gibbering nitwits. Stan Keister of the Hackensack Courier-Educator-Herald voted for no one and spent his entire column on the greatness of Jack Morris?… » 1/08/15 6:32pm 1/08/15 6:32pm

The 10 Grossest Sex Acts as Described By Urban Dictionary

Have you ever played "what's grosser than gross?" a childhood game where people try to outdo themselves in grotesque scenarios until one person gives up? Let's play it now with the horrifying knowledge that somewhere, somehow, people may have actually done the shit I'm about to tell you. Sometimes with literal shit… » 8/28/14 12:42pm 8/28/14 12:42pm

Ronaldo's Facial Fitness Commercial Is Inexplicable, Perfect

Have you been looking for a way to achieve maximum facial tone that doesn't make you feel so bored and tired? Isn't it time you had a way to be happy with your facial fitness without all the hassle? There have probably been dozens of scientists with degrees in science-related fields who have long argued that there is » 8/06/14 10:07pm 8/06/14 10:07pm

Darryl Strawberry Casually Confirms Insane Cat Decapitation Story

Of baseball's many urban legends, few are as psychotic as the story of animal torture first told in Heat, the 1999 autobiography of Mets pitcher Dwight Gooden. In that book, Gooden gives a firsthand account of former teammate Kevin Mitchell drunkenly threatening his girlfriend with a 12-inch knife before cutting her… » 8/06/14 12:09pm 8/06/14 12:09pm

This Is A Browns Fan Pissing On Art Modell's Grave


How do you turn Art Modell into a sympathetic figure? You don an Ed Reed Ravens jersey (to fool people who might find a dude in a Browns jersey visiting Art Modell's grave suspicious, natch), hold your pee for a while, get yourself a catheter, and then dramatically reveal your hidden Lyle Alzado jersey while… » 7/22/14 9:00pm 7/22/14 9:00pm