So, most Chinese athletes have stopped using. Except Yao Ming, who's apparently mainlining deer penis like a sweaty junkie in order to bounce back from his foot surgery. Ming's agent in China, Eric Zhang Mingji (rhymes with "fling-shee") says that Yao ain't stopping. "He will be taking Chinese medicines but hasn't started on the treatment yet,'' he tells Bloomberg News.

Will Yao actually risk disgracing his country? Still too early to tell. But we've all read enough Jim Carroll and William s. Burroughs to know how overpowering and soul-erasing an addiction to deer penis can be. Somebody should really intervene if they want to have Yao in uniform in '08.

Deer Penis Loses Flavor as China's Olympians Fear Drug Testers [Bloomberg]

It's not clear whether this is ginseng, or acupuncture, or just a bunch of people whacking him with sticks, but we can understand why the Rockets might be somewhat concerned. When we think of non-Western medicine — not that China is some tiny, struggling country, mind you — we always think of the end of Man In The Moon, when Andy Kaufman is being "treated" for his cancer.

Of course, it's not like our medicine is so hot either. Heck, even Airborne's full of crap now. But if Yao gets fibromyalgia, man, we've got him covered over here.

Oh, Yeah, This Sounds Like A Great Idea [The Howeva Files]

Tonight will bring the first NBA meeting of Houston's Yao Ming and the player expected to be the next Chinese NBA star, Milwaukee's Yi Jianlian, an occasion that could draw the largest global audience to see an NBA game.

The game will be on 19 networks in China, including CCTV-5, Guangdong TV, Guangzhou TV, and ESPN Star Sports in Hong Kong and Taiwan. It also will be available live through two Webcasters. Though ratings estimates in China are difficult and vary widely, today's game is said to be certain to draw 150 million viewers and could reach 250 million. CCTV-5 alone is available in 210 million households.

Fun fact: It will also be the first NBA game to include players from six continents. Sorry, Antarctica!

But as AA wonders, will anyone in the U.S. care? (it's not even being shown nationally here). Is David Stern's globalization of the NBA really becoming the soccerization of the NBA? Not for me. I haven't been this excited about a matchup since Bruce Lee vs. Kareem Abdul-Jabbar in Game of Death.

Yikes! Yao Vs. Yi Is Huge [Houston Chronicle]
Is Anyone Aware That The Largest Television Audience Ever For A Sporting Event Could Take Place Tonight? [Awful Announcing]

Anyway, as another example of how Ming is a different celebrity than most, the big "controversy" about his wedding is whether they ate shark fin. A spokesperson defended Yao.

[And with regards to the sharks fin rumours] On behalf of the wedded couple, I'd like to thank you all for the stories that have appeared on the internet and in print, but I'd like to point out that there were some untruths in those stories, for instance, that there was a dish by the name of "Braised bamboo fungus and fish maw in sharks fin" on the menu. As we all know, Yao Ming is the frontman of the "Protecting sharks begins with me" campaign and he has promised at the WildAid event that he would not eat sharks fin at any time or under any circumstance. Hence, there was no sharks fin at the wedding tonight.

Ah, China: They actually thank people for untruthful stories on the Internet. So polite, as along as you don't, you know, live in Tibet, or Sudan, or ... well, lots of places, actually.

So What Was Really On The Menu At Yao Ming's Wedding? [Shanghaiist]

• The Tao Of Yao. Can life truly be in balance without Yao Ming and Shaquille O'Neal on their respective active rosters? Both are now back, and the forces of nature are now in harmony once again. Of course, as the great Daoist philosophers have said, it may take some time to work out the kinks. Ming returned from a two-month layoff due to a leg injury, but LeBron James and the Cavaliers were still too much in a 91-85 win over the Rockets. James had 32 points, 12 rebounds and eight assists. Yao (16 points, 11 rebounds) said he felt "like a high school player," with his first shot an air ball. But he rallied quickly and had a strong fourth quarter.

• Tall Tales. And speaking of Shaquille O'Neal, his 14 points and nine rebounds helped lead Miami past Atlanta 88-81, the first time the Heat have been above .500 since early December. Eddie Jones had 21 points for Miami. Dwyane Wade, by the way, has decided to postpone surgery and try to get back into the Heat lineup by April.

• Don Nelson Reaches Out To Star Wars Fans. Attempting to expand his fan base, Warriors coach Don Nelson had this to say of his team's 111-93 win over the Pistons in Auburn Hills: "I don't know if the force was with us tonight or if we just played pretty well. We made shots and that always helps.'' Jason Richardson, who grew up in the Auburn Hills area and played for Michigan State, scored a season-high 29 points for the Warriors.

• We'll Trade You Two Leon Powes And A Stromile Swift. In Japan, schoolchildren are often admonished for exchanging their popular and whimsical Hedo Turkoglu trading cards during school, even though he's actually from Turkey. And Turkoglumania is beginning to take over America, as his season-high 25 points led Orlando past Milwaukee 99-81. Turkoglu hit 10 of 14 shots from the field, with three 3-pointers.

With Tracy McGrady already on the shelf, the Rockets are now looking at playing a major part of their season without Yao Ming, too. Yao suffered a fracture of his right tibial plateau when Tim Thomas gave him the Kimo von Oelhoffen treatment last night.

The injury will keep him out for at least six weeks. Yao had been playing at an MVP-type level, even without McGrady, who has missed the last seven games with back spasms. Courtesy of the Elias Sports Bureau, the Rockets are 83-44 with McGrady and Yao in the lineup, and just 1-8 with neither of them playing.

'Tis a damn shame. Yao was playing the best basketball of his life, arguably the best basketball in the league, and he was cursing out Chris Kaman, to boot. What more can you ask from a player?

So enjoy your 40 minutes a night, Dikembe Mutombo. I'm sure that's just what the doctor ordered at the age of... well, however the hell old Dikembe Mutombo is. Someone should cut him open and count the rings.

• Ride Jeffy, Ride. OK, as of Monday night they are officially "the struggling New York Knicks," thanks in large part to Jeff Van Gundy. We all remember JVG; used to coach the Knicks, is now 7-1 against them as coach of the Houston Rockets and undefeated at MSG ... rode Alonzo Mourning's leg like a terrified jockey during that '98 playoff game against the Heat ... Yao Ming had 26 points, Rockets' 97, Knicks 90. New York 1-5 at home. Of course, Ming had an unfortunate experience with Nate Robinson, the video of which is at the end of this post. You hate to see that.

• Suns Stop Rampaging Warriors . Wait, the Warriors had a six-game home winning streak? Sweet biscuits and gravy. Steve Nash hit the tiebreaking 3-pointer with 4.1 seconds remaining as the Suns prevailed 113-110.

• Later They Stormed The Snack Bar. We have just one question, Johan Petro. Why do you hate America? With Navy personnel from his native France flying a French flag behind one basket, Petro had 12 points, six rebounds and three blocks to help lead the SuperSonics over the Nets 99-87.

• Just Try And Stop Them! Meet the Utah Jazz; off to the best start in franchise history at 10-1, which is also the best record in the NBA, beating the Raptors 101-96.

• Never Poke A Grizzly With A Stick. If you had a bunch of money on the Magic against the Grizzlies on Monday night, well, sorry man. You can crash on our sofa.

• 1. Trick Or Treat! Houston Rockets 94, Miami Heat 72, and just like that we have another contender for Best NBA Quote of the Season. This one is from Yao Ming, who rocked Shaquille O'Neal for 34 points and 14 rebounds: "Every time I score on him I was happy like a kid, like a kid getting candy on Halloween because it's really too hard to score on him, too hard. He's just great." We can't help picturing Mrs. O'Neal passed out on her porch as a 7-foot-6 Chinese person dressed as a pirate hovers over her demanding Bit-O-Honey.

• 2. Incoming! Vince Carter would like to, uh, cast a yes vote for the new ball. Carter's three-pointer at the buzzer forced overtime, and he finished with 34 points to lead the Nets to a 105-93 win over the Wizards on Sunday. Now, about that three-pointer; if you didn't see it, imagine a bird flying smack into a picture window and sliding slowly down the glass into a flower pot. It was like that, only with no loose feathers. Jason Kidd had his 77th career triple-double, with 18 assists, for Jersey.

• 3. Action Jackson. It was Phil Jackson's 500th game as Lakers coach, so why not celebrate it with the Grizzlies? The only team with the word "hapless" officially integrated into their team logo (they couldn't fit '38.4 field goal percentage' in there), Memphis lost to LA 91-81 as Kobe Bryant scored 21 points and Lamar Odom had 20 for LA.

• 4. We Hope You At Least Made Some Money From This. It's officially a winning streak for the Mavericks, who have won two straight after Dirk Nowitzki's 26 points and 10 rebounds sparked a 103-96 victory over the Trail Blazers. Dallas has won its past 11 games against the Trail Blazers, dating to Dec. 23, 2003.

• 5. Free Martinizing. Meanwhile, at Arco Arena, Kevin Martin had 26 points, six rebounds and was 8-for-8 from the free throw line as Sacramento beat Toronto 107-92. The Kings haven't lost to the Raptors at home since March 13, 1997.

You could tell within the first two minutes that this game would be completely different from the Puerto Rico game. China just seemed to take the attitude of, "Well, we have Yao and a bunch other guys with similar haircuts, so we should be okay. Hey, let's just all have fun, because this is really all about brotherhood." They seemed content to just show up and take their beating.

Next up for Team USA are the Slovenians, who should actually provide a much tougher test. I'm also guessing that you'll see ESPN find a way to get Stephen A. Smith on a broadcast before Tuesday morning, just so he can say "Rrrrasho. Nesterovic." Other NBA names on the Slovenian roster that you might be familiar with (if you really like the NBA) include Primoz Brezec, Bostjan Nachbar, and Beno Udrih.

USA go 2-0 after blitz of China [CNN International]

Houston Rockets center Yao Ming doesn't just spend his offseasons taking a stroll or two around the track. He also spends it saving elephants by swatting away bullets heading toward them directly out of the air. See, he's not just tall; he's made of some sort of indestructible material.

This video is for WildAid, an anti-poaching charity that allows features PSAs from Jackie Chan, who is not shown kicking clubs intended for baby seals out of the hands of evil men. Ming also says he will no longer eat shark fin soup, a Chinese delicacy. We are proud to say that we join Ming in his refusal to eat ... uh ... shark fin soup.

We're Going To Need A Bigger Blog [The Roscoe Report]