Where Does Phil Mushnick's Wordbarf Rank Among Awful Sports Columns?

Phil Mushnick's "Adrian Peterson is a thug and at fault for his son's death" column is bad. Really bad. But is it worse than the reigning champion of instantly appalling sports columns, Mark Whicker's "Here's what Jaycee Dugard missed in sports while she was imprisoned and raped in a backyard shed for 18 years" » 10/14/13 4:17pm 10/14/13 4:17pm

Your Regular Reminder That Phil Mushnick Is A Race-Baiting Troll

Professional shithead Phil Mushnick is at it again, opining in his unbelievable-even-for-the-Post column that Adrian Peterson deserves some blame for the beating death of his 2-year-old son, a son that until recently he didn't know he had. » 10/14/13 3:44pm 10/14/13 3:44pm

Joba Chamberlain's Freak Trampoline Accident Is Just Like Brien Taylor…

All the pieces fit, don't they? Strangely spelled first names, injured pitchers...actually, that's about it. Don't let that stop you though, Bill Madden. According to Madden, Chamberlain had a "death wish for his career." So, it makes all the sense in the world that he finally pulled it off at some glorified romper… » 3/24/12 11:30am 3/24/12 11:30am

Fox San Diego Sports Anchor Implies Danica Patrick Is A Bitch

Ross Shimabuku, Fox 5 San Diego's current sports anchor could teach a master class in subtlety. Of course, no one would know a thing about what "subtlety" means, but the arts are a dying skill anyway. » 2/25/12 3:03pm 2/25/12 3:03pm

Here's The Tim Tebow And 9/11 Connection You Never Thought Anyone Was…

Tebowmania died Saturday night, but not before Stu Bykofsky of the Philadelphia Daily News went there in his column on Friday: » 1/16/12 12:10pm 1/16/12 12:10pm

Idiot Columnist Writes Idiot Column About Ovechkin And Steroids

John Steigerwald—he of the "Bryan Stow deserved to get beaten into a coma" column—is at it again. This time the Washington (Pa.) Observer-Reporter observer/reporter sets his poorly-focused sights on Alexander Ovechkin. Since his numbers have taken a dip, and also a steroid doctor who Ovechkin has never been associated… » 12/05/11 11:20am 12/05/11 11:20am

Seven-Time Ohio Columnist Of The Year Wonders If Maybe Students Didn't…

Paul Daugherty, in addition to having a regular gig on SI.com, has been a sports columnist at the Cincinnati Enquirer for a long, long time. So long that they've given him a daily "write about whatever shit you want to" column, which appears to run with minimal editing. » 10/24/11 1:30pm 10/24/11 1:30pm

Idiot Utah Sports Columnist More Or Less Calls Amar'e Stoudemire A Dumb…

Doug Robinson, the resident paste-eating troglodyte at the Deseret News, has gone and written a truly remarkable column this week. » 10/20/11 5:13pm 10/20/11 5:13pm

All My Rowdy Friends Are Coming Over Kristallnacht (UPDATE WITH VIDEO)

Hank Williams Jr., who exists solely to remind us that genius skips a generation, has some thoughts on John Boehner playing golf with Barack Obama: "That would be like Hitler playing golf with Netanyahu. Not hardly. In the shape this country is in?" [Huffington Post] » 10/03/11 2:19pm 10/03/11 2:19pm

Djokovic-Federer Had Nothing On Christ-Satan, Says Writer Who Is Not…

"The match between Djokovic and Federer in New York was quite a spectacle, but it was nothing compared to Christ's victory over sin and death and Satan. 'And having disarmed the powers and authorities, he made a public spectacle of them, triumphing over them by the cross.' (Colossians 2:15) Memo to Satan: Get over it.… » 9/22/11 10:41am 9/22/11 10:41am

The Dumbass Who Blamed Bryan Stow For Getting Beaten Into A Coma Wants…

Writes dumbass John Steigerwald about Michael Vick's $100 million contract, "Here's hoping he blows out his knee on his next snap." » 9/08/11 1:15am 9/08/11 1:15am

Presenting The World’s Dick-Suckingest Derek Jeter Column

In a world where every member of the sports media lines up enthusiastically to lap up whatever fluid comes out of Derek Jeter's penis, we now have a new champion when it comes to Jeter's canonization. It comes from Ian O'Connor at ESPN, and it made Ken Tremendous cry. Come take a look at this shit. » 7/11/11 10:47am 7/11/11 10:47am

German Newspaper Credits Dirk, "First White MVP Since Larry Bird," With…

We regret to be working in translation here, because this piece, from Die Welt's Peter Schilling, might just be more objectionable in German. Here's the translated version, working from this original. » 6/14/11 9:25pm 6/14/11 9:25pm

Why Grantland Rice Sucked

Grantland Rice was everything his namesake website should aspire not to be. He was a pandering mythmaker who wrote verse and prose the way Thomas Kinkade paints carriage lanes ("The Hills of Fame still beckon where the Paths of Glory lead …"). Reading him today is not unlike looking at your maiden aunt's collection of… » 6/08/11 4:25pm 6/08/11 4:25pm

Why Yes, One Cleveland Writer Did Offer Up A Nazi Death-Camp Gas For…

And it was Scott Raab (yesterday). Oh, don't get all "How dare you belittle millions of deaths for a joke the morally depraved community doesn't even so much as giggle at?" He apologized 13 hours later, while nobly driving page views to a story he wrote last year about retired U.S. autoworker/convicted Nazi… » 5/18/11 10:30pm 5/18/11 10:30pm

Alabama Football Player Found Dead; ESPN Insider Has The Story On Which…

The University of Alabama has confirmed that Aaron Douglas, an offensive lineman, was found dead in Florida this morning. There are no more details regarding the nature of his death, but ESPN Insider's Albert Lin is ahead of the news in some awful way: earlier this afternoon, the "Rumor Central" writer published a… » 5/12/11 4:15pm 5/12/11 4:15pm

Bin Laden's Death Means Something Or Other For The NFL Lockout,…

Osama Bin Laden is dead, and people are happy, but if we don't have professional football on 9/11, people will be super-sad. This is Mike Florio's argument today. I am not joking, and neither, that I can tell, is Florio. » 5/02/11 2:00pm 5/02/11 2:00pm

Jackass Columnist Blames Pitcher For Choosing Childbirth Over Pitching

I'm not a local, so I don't know how much of Dallas Observer columnist Richie Whitt's schtick might be part of his on-air radio personality, but I'm still going to bring your attention to this gem of a column: » 4/20/11 12:00pm 4/20/11 12:00pm

Comatose Giants Fan Shouldn't Have Been Wearing A Giants Jersey, Writes…

Bryan Stow is the 42-year-old Giants fan who was beaten outside Dodger Stadium and who now lies in a medically induced coma. Stow was wearing a Giants jersey at the time of the attack. I'll let John Steigerwald, a columnist for the Observer-Reporter in Washington, Pa., and a former television anchor, take it from here. » 4/12/11 4:29pm 4/12/11 4:29pm