I always find it laughable when people argue on behalf of instant replay by saying "the important thing is that we get the call right." Because from what I can tell, those clowns in the replay booth are even worse than the bozos on the field.

As every fan in America can tell you, referees are at best, incompetent hacks and at worst, evil henchman in a worldwide conspiracy to destroy fairness and accuracy. And why are they always out to get your team? That can't be a coincidence, right?

In 2008, they apparently got tired of just fixing games and destroying hope and switched to just straight up using physical brutality to attack and intimidate players. Sure, we try to fight back, but they are a craft bunch, with their little whistles and their balls and strikes counters. They're always plotting something, but we're on to them now.

At least bookies are able to benefit in some small way from all this awfulness. It's about time someone looked out for them.

*******

• In the land blind referees, Ed Hochuli is, of course, their king.

• And Tim Donaghy will forever be their Golden God.

• Although, Scott Foster did learn from the master.

• Olympics? Boxing? Corrupt? Well, I never ...

• Does Doug Eddings owe A.J. Pierzynski money or something?

• In the NBA, sometimes the game is not over, even when it's over.

• Hey, ref! What are you? Drunk? Oh wait, you are.

• This soccer ref probably wishes he was drunk. At least then he'd have an excuse.

• You know you made a bad call when the parents' lawyers get involved.

• Of course, it's not a high school playoff without inadvertent whistles and lawsuits.

• Do you blow your filthy, lying whistle to make your horrendous calls with that mouth?

• Even fake refs can't be trusted.

• We'll always have Duke.

• When all else fails, just don't even show up.

Let's be honest. There is only one reason that we pay grown men millions of dollars a year to play children's games for our amusement—the opportunity to see gruesome, life-changing injuries. I'm not talking about Tiger's wittle scwapped knee or even people who lie about motorcycle accidents. We're talking about leg removals. Throat slashings. Ball crushings. Even off-the-field beat downs and illicit shootings will count if I find them sufficiently amusing. So here they are: The scariest, funniest, bone-bendiest mishaps of 2008. (I'm sure you'll let me know if I forgot any.)

*******

• DeAndre Brown did not know legs could bend like that.

• Martin St. Louis just wanted a little off the top.

• Richard Zednik, on the other hand, will think twice before asking for the "Columbian necktie."

• Derrick Rose does not have serious knife skills.

• Joe Sackic needs a new snowblower.

• Javon Walker should know better than to be in this part of town.

• Clint Malarchuk should probably just be in protective custody at this point.

• Oh, right. That guy.

• Three words you never want to hear come out of your doctor's mouth: "Testicle recalibration surgery."

• Chris Snyder probably concurs.

• Thank goodness we have a civilized sport like MMA to put a stop to this madness.

• Even mascots are not immune to the threat of decapitation.

• "We can probably leave this cart here behind the endzone, right? I'm sure it won't be in the way."

• And the most gut-wrenching, queas-inducing, heart shuddering leg break of them all—Corey Hill's Mr. Fantastic impersonation.

Ouch.

I believe the first Deadspin field trip on this site was to a live broadcast of Stephen A. Smith's "Quite Frankly" (RIP). The concept is simple: go outside, typist. Unlike the ones we would all attend as elementary school kids to planetariums, these trips don't require permission slips from parents or getting tagged with a special pin if you have head lice. 2008, was a year of many outside adventures. Some show how far Deadspin's access has evolved since the early days. Other times, not so much.

• There were dog shows.

• Oh, and there were cat shows.

• 2-on-2 with Oak and Charles Smith at MSG.

• ESPN extended me an invite to watch their MNF crew assimilate with the masses.

• I went cavorting with Linda Cohn.

• Rick attempts to solve the riddle of the A-11 offense up close and personal.

• Oh, there was a strip club outing because there are worst ways to blow through your last month of "business expenses."

• And sometimes nights like this are just too much for a young boy from Mattoon.