Deadspin: Texas Longhorns

David Robinson Was Victimized By One Of The Great Videobombs Of All Time

Timothy Burke — Sat, 11 Feb 2012 16:53:47 EST

NBA Hall-Of-Famer David Robinson decided to take in today's Kansas State-Texas game, but even at 7'1" his view could be blocked by an old woman who stood up when he was sitting. [ESPN] More »

Everything's Bigger In Texas, Except When You Get Posterized By North Carolina's P.J. Hairston

Timothy Burke — Wed, 21 Dec 2011 20:05:36 EST

Texas guard Julien Lewis is 6'3", and should probably know better than to try and stop North Carolina 6'6" freshman star P.J. Hairston. But he didn't, and it's to all of our benefit to be able to watch. [ESPN] More »

The Longhorn Network Launched Two Months Ago, And Still Nobody Can Watch It (Also, They Had An Anchor DWI)

Barry Petchesky — Wed, 26 Oct 2011 12:25:00 EDT

It was two months ago today that we ran a sky-is-falling story on ESPN's Longhorn Network going live without having lined up cable companies to actually broadcast the channel. We thought that was just last-minute posturing and ESPN's muscle would get the deals done before long. But here we are, halfway through the season, and it's still a channel without a home. More »

Vince Young Allegedly Gets Angry When You Deny Him $8,000 In One-Dollar Bills

Emma Carmichael — Tue, 25 Oct 2011 19:50:50 EDT

The Dallas strip club manager who was assaulted by Vince Young over a year ago is now adjusting the narrative of the altercation because he would like some money for it—possibly in the form of dollar bills. Creiton Kinchen's lawsuit says that he did not provoke the Eagles backup by flashing an upside-down "hook 'em Horns" at him; Creiton Kinchen says that Young assaulted him "with a deadly weapon" (the QB's feet and hands) because he refused to hand over $8,000 in dollar bills for Young to throw at strippers. More »

The Red River Rivalry Game Was Not That Close

Conor Hastings — Sat, 08 Oct 2011 16:28:40 EDT

From the very beginning of this game it seemed like Texas was never really going to have a chance. Time and time again we watched Texas turn the ball over in between bouts of Kirk Herbstreit and Brent Musburger pimping The Longhorn Network. More »

ESPN Will Put Unranked Texas In The Top 25, Now That They Own The Longhorn Network

Barry Petchesky — Thu, 01 Sep 2011 11:05:00 EDT

If you consume an ESPN product, be it online or broadcast or magazine, we hope you are prepared to hear about Texas at least as often as the teams that actually matter, no matter how many games they lose. This is what happens when they invest $300 million in a team-specific network. More »

The Longhorn Network Launches Today, And Nobody Can Watch It

Barry Petchesky — Fri, 26 Aug 2011 12:50:21 EDT

Tonight, at 6pm Austin time, the controversial Longhorn Network will go on the air. 24-hour coverage will start immediately, giving you the latest and most in-depth UT coverage available. And there's absolutely no way for you or anyone else to watch. More »

Colt McCoy's Wife Says Texas Boosters Are Too Generous With Their "Fishing Trips And Hunts, Here Or There"

Jack Dickey — Tue, 07 Jun 2011 17:50:00 EDT

Here's Mrs. McCoy on ESPN's The Herd, doing some NCAA detective work: "You cannot expect 19, 20 year-old kids to say no to free stuff when they're in college." She says a bunch of McCoy's Texas teammates couldn't resist free stuff from agents or boosters. More »

Even Through The Tears, Young Texas Fan Manages A Brave Hook 'Em Horns

Emma Carmichael — Mon, 21 Mar 2011 10:05:00 EDT

Your morning roundup for March 21, the day shots were fired over the price of a Beefy Crunch Burrito. More »

The First Look At The Mustachioed Mopper From Texas

Emma Carmichael — Tue, 01 Mar 2011 09:55:32 EST

Your morning roundup for March 1, the day Charlie Sheen rode a mercury surfboard on the media tsunami. More »

Texas's Heisman Video For Eric Metcalf Is The Most Erotic Thing You'll Watch All Day

Tommy Craggs — Thu, 06 Jan 2011 19:00:34 EST

Bryan sends along this old Heisman promo for the great Texas running back Eric Metcalf, with music by the less-than-great Alabama band Alabama. The choice of song leaves it unclear if the video is asking for your vote or your pants. More »

Anyone Want To Apply For Texas's Defensive Coordinator Job?

Tommy Craggs — Mon, 13 Dec 2010 15:30:25 EST

The school's job posting is up, and from this we can learn all sorts of fascinating stuff about the position. It entails "direct customer contact," "exposure to large crowds," and "climbing of ladders," for instance. Also: "Hours per week: 40.00 Variable." More »

Luther Campbell Is As Newsy As He Wants To Be

Tommy Craggs — Mon, 13 Dec 2010 10:55:19 EST

We can't be sure yet, but it does appear that Uncle Luke himself has scooped everyone on Randy Shannon's hiring at Texas. This is like the time Special Ed broke the Iran-Contra affair. More »

Citing Concussions, Texas Running Back Tre' Newton Announces He Is Giving Up Football

Emma Carmichael — Tue, 16 Nov 2010 00:13:06 EST

Newton, the Longhorn's sophomore running back and son of former Cowboys lineman Nate Newton, announced in a team press conference today that he has played his last snap of competitive football. He suffered multiple concussions throughout high school and college. More »

The Truth Behind Those Terrible Texas Statues Is Sorta Revealed

David Matthews — Thu, 04 Nov 2010 18:30:23 EDT

Remember the terracotta-army-like statues that Texas threw up recently? Well, there's a sign now that explains that the statues are to honor specific people, but remain generic as statues. The old "it sucks on purpose" defense hasn't been this transparent since The Room. More »

Texas's Terracotta-Army-Like Statues Are Here To Frighten And Confuse Us All

David Matthews — Fri, 29 Oct 2010 19:15:00 EDT

What you see here a nice piece of statuary built in honor of one of the great Texas Longhorns of all time: Al Jolson. More »

Something Lawsuity May Be Afoot Down Austin Way

David Matthews — Wed, 20 Oct 2010 17:00:00 EDT

U of Texas associate athletics director for football operations Cleve Bryant has gone on administrative leave. Perhaps coincidentally, a former female employee of the athletics department has hired Gloria Allred. That's not fishy at all. [How To Have Sex In Texas] More »

Texas Tech Fans Turn Into Giant Vaginas

Barry Petchesky — Thu, 16 Sep 2010 11:05:00 EDT

Yesterday some guy called for football fans to keep it quiet. But he was a Canadian (scoff) philosophy professor (double scoff). Well now it's some Red Raider fans, asking for the stadium to be silent when UT has the ball. More »

Stories That Don't Suck: Colt McCoy And The Texas Quarterback Miracle

Tommy Craggs — Thu, 19 Aug 2010 10:40:56 EDT

From time to time, we'll select stories — old and new, sports and otherwise, relevant and merely sublime — that we urge you to read for one reason or another. Today: Colt McCoy, quarterback of quarterbacks. More »

Mack Brown Is Sick And Tired Of All These Agents Getting His Players Suspended

Sports Radio Interviews — Mon, 16 Aug 2010 17:45:00 EDT

Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Texas Longhorns coach Mack Brown. More »

Texas To Sponsor The Very Power Of The Earth Itself

Barry Petchesky — Mon, 26 Jul 2010 13:35:26 EDT

Fresh off approving water bottles shaped like the campus tower (you know, the one from which Charles Whitman killed 14 people), UT is partnering with an energy company to sponsor Longhorn Electricity and Longhorn Natural Gas. [SBJ] More »

Conference-ocalypse Averted, Big 12 Is The New Big 10

Dashiell Bennett — Mon, 14 Jun 2010 23:30:56 EDT

So today was apparently not a good day for the Big 12 to die. Despite all reports to the contrary, Texas will apparently stay in the Big 12 South and the Pac-10 is now stuck with Colorado. More »

Vince Young's Texas Pride Wins The Weekend

Barry Petchesky — Mon, 14 Jun 2010 10:15:00 EDT

www.youtube.com/watch?v=KLAh16kAvPA In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like Vince Young standing up for his alma mater, punching out a dude just because he was from Oklahoma. More »

Conference Realignment Will Tear Us All Apart

Dashiell Bennett — Tue, 08 Jun 2010 00:45:06 EDT

We're on the verge of the biggest conference realignment in the history of college sports, but if it happens ... will it still be college sports? Or just pro football that happens to take place near schools? More »

Who Wants To See Jordan Shipley Stick His Hands In A Mutilated Deer Carcass?

Dashiell Bennett — Wed, 14 Apr 2010 17:25:48 EDT

Yeah, it's gross, but the Texas receiver likes his hunting. Click and be horrified to learn where your dinner came from. (Not safe for the queasy.) [More photos @ Frathouse Sports] More »

Hellacious Clergymen Try To Put Down Endowed Steers: Wake Forest-Texas Open Thread (NAIL BITER ALERT)

David Matthews — Thu, 18 Mar 2010 21:35:00 EDT

The Longhorns have had a crazy season, but they've got the talent to go on a run if they can get around Al-Farouq Aminu and Skip Prosser's Ghost. Comment and coordinate who to blame if this turns into a brick-fest. More »

Nerds, Catholics And State Schools Vie For Meaningless Honorific

Barry Petchesky — Fri, 12 Mar 2010 13:45:00 EST

Here's a pretty fascinating look at which programs can lay claim to being the "winningest" of all time. Rich Rodriguez has a good shot at literally ruining UM's legacy. [Detroit Free Press] More »

Longhorn Girl Arielle Angelovich: A Lesson In Instant Internet Fame

Dashiell Bennett — Wed, 10 Feb 2010 12:35:20 EST

How does one go from anonymous math major to a sought-after interweb celebrity in the span of 40 minutes? All it takes is some fortuitous timing, a bit of fate, and a bright orange t-shirt. More »

Well, We Found Longhorn Girl

Deadspin I-Team — Wed, 10 Feb 2010 02:15:00 EST

A helpful classmate tipped us off to the young lady's name, and Deadspin Investigative Services sprung into action. There turned out to be quite the paper trail; follow it with us, won't you? More »

The Curious Case Of Longhorn Girl

Dashiell Bennett — Tue, 09 Feb 2010 13:20:06 EST

Who is this comely lass with the burnt-orange hair and why was she strategically placed behind the Kansas bench last night? Was she there to distract Jayhawk players from their defensive assignments or as ESPN's Valentine to lonely basketball fans? More »

I Feel Your Pain, 7-Foot K-State Clarinetist

Barry Petchesky — Sun, 31 Jan 2010 10:15:00 EST

Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day. More »

Psh, I Guess This Counts As Knocking Off No. 1

Barry Petchesky — Sun, 24 Jan 2010 10:30:00 EST

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Open Thread: Texas-UConn, Arkansas-Kentucky, Oklahoma State-KSU, Duke-Clemson, Etc.

Tommy Craggs — Sat, 23 Jan 2010 15:58:01 EST

Last one of the day. Suggested topic for discussion: the incredible fact that West Georgia's athletics program used 119 ineligible athletes from 2004-09. Someone get these guys in Conference USA. More »

Last Night's Winner: Non-Number One Teams

Dashiell Bennett — Tue, 19 Jan 2010 09:35:20 EST

In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Kentucky, who will soon be number one thanks to Kansas State, who took care of the last number one. Everyone comes out ahead! (Except Texas.) More »

Texas Writer Eats Crow, Spits It In Alabama's Face

Dashiell Bennett — Tue, 12 Jan 2010 14:30:52 EST

Even after his Longhorns' crushing defeat in the BCS title game, Austin's John Kelso still can't resist taking a few more (half-hearted) digs at the state of Alabama. They do make it really, really easy. [Earlier] More »

We Wanted A Game; We Got A Circus

Barry Petchesky — Fri, 08 Jan 2010 00:45:00 EST

Trick plays, failed trick plays, and a freshman QB thrust into the spotlight. Let's take a look at the storylines and screengrabs of the night. More »

Enjoy Your Imaginary Championship Game, Texas and Alabama

Dashiell Bennett — Thu, 07 Jan 2010 18:45:30 EST

You can use this post as an open thread for tonight's Alabama-Texas game, which means it's the perfect place for trash talk, yelling at people on TV, or composing angry rants against the BCS. Here...let me help you with that! More »

Pot, Kettle Continue Historic Feud

Dashiell Bennett — Thu, 07 Jan 2010 12:10:48 EST

Austin American-Statesman columnist (and assumed Longhorn fan) John Kelso breaks out his redneck joke book to preemptively needle Alabama fans. Tough talk from a state that lets steers vote. [Statesman/Huntsville Times] More »

Austin Takes The Lead In Menstrual BCS Trash Talk

Dashiell Bennett — Tue, 05 Jan 2010 18:30:28 EST

We're still two days away from the fake National Championship Game, but it's not to early for fans of Texas/Alabama to start hurling gross insults at each other. Unfortunately, Alabama's nickname makes it a little too easy for some. More »

Single UT Fan ISO Total Whore

Barry Petchesky — Thu, 17 Dec 2009 02:00:00 EST

You'll find a ton of people begging for tickets to the National Championship Game. But one lonely longhorn has two seats, and just needs a piece of ass to fill them. More »