Time to take a look back at our most popular posts of 2014. We have our own thoughts about what our best posts were, but these are the ones that brought in the most readers.
My thoughts on the ice bucket challenge are complicated and not worth going into here. My thoughts on people falling down, bashing themselves over the head, and otherwise harming and embarrassing themselves are much simpler: I am staunchly pro-slapstick.
NASCAR driver Tony Stewart ran over a competitor, 20-year-old Kevin Ward Jr., during a confrontation at a sprint car race on Saturday night at Canandaigua Motorsports Park in New York. Ward was killed.
We've heard of poppin' some molly and sweatin', but not popping molly, snorting some coke, car-jacking an ambulance, careening every which way through traffic, and then jerking off in the police station. That'd probably make for a better song, though.
Hello. My name is Chris Kluwe, and for eight years I was the punter for the Minnesota Vikings. In May 2013, the Vikings released me from the team. At the time, quite a few people asked me if I thought it was because of my recent activism for same-sex marriage rights, and I was very careful in how I answered the question. My answer, verbatim, was always, "I honestly don't know, because I'm not in those meetings with the coaches and administrative people."
Remember when Mariah Carey could sing? Most millennials probably can't. "All I Want For Christmas Is You," she sings, but we'd suggest adding "a new voice" to her letter for Santa. Only Rep. Peter King could vocalize something more tone-deaf in New York today.
It's a difficult world out there, people. War, poverty, brutality, corruption, social and racial injustice … these are not civil times we live in. Which is why, more than ever, we NEED the comfort and warmth that only life inside the Williams-Sonoma catalog can provide. Follow me, America. Follow me inside these glossy pages, where there is no anger. No violence. No internet commenters explaining why YOUR SO STOOPID.
The favorite toe-shoe of vegan restaurant servers and 55-year-old men with ponytails has settled a class action lawsuit brought against it by what sounds like every person who ever wore its foot-condoms.
One kid at last night's Blue Jays-Rangers game got the best of both worlds: An MLB foul ball and the attention of a girl sitting in the row behind him.
Deadspin has acquired an extended, 15-minute version of the conversation between Clippers owner Donald Sterling and his then-girlfriend V. Stiviano. If the original nine-minute tape acquired by TMZ left any questions about Sterling's opinions regarding minorities, the audio here should remove all doubt that he's a doddering racist with views not too far removed from the plantation.
As news of actor Robin Williams's death spread Monday night, Conan O'Brien was wrapping up his show, which would air a few hours later. When Conan learned what had happened, he took a couple of minutes before the taping finished, and broke the news to the audience.
See, this is why you don't just put the camera on some producer's Twitter feed while talking about a helicopter crash.
Florida State quarterback Jameis Winston stood on a table and yelled "fuck her right in the pussy" on campus today, according to a bunch of students who saw him. For the unaware, "Fuck her right in the pussy" was a fake video that turned into a meme, with a few people shouting iton live news broadcasts. It is now dead, because Jameis Winston climbed onto a table and yelled it. College jokes!
This little bit of magic is from Portland's KOIN-6 Friday night and it is remarkable that it actually happened. The entire interview is just a slow and steady burn to that ultimate payoff and the entire time you're thinking: no way. No way this actually happens. It can't.
During the first local commercial break of last night's Super Bowl broadcast, residents of Savannah, Ga., were treated to something truly incredible. Personal injury lawyer Jamie Casino bought the entire two-minute block of local advertising and aired the masterpiece you see above.
Below, via TMZ, is the punch that got Ravens running back Ray Rice a two-game suspension from the NFL. The woman on the other end of that left hook is Janay Palmer, who is now Rice's wife.
Your most compelling sports video of the year comes from ESPN, which caught these Phillies fans taunting Dan Uggla—then being rudely interrupted by Uggla's grand slam. It was brilliant enough (seriously, great job ESPN) but we took it a bit further with extreme slow motion.
At first, it seems like a mere verbal confrontation between the Bama woman—who looks like a pleasant mom—and the Oklahoma fan in the white polo. It gets so much better, though.
Those weird photos of Cowboys owner Jerry Jones and some ladies hanging out in what appears to be a bathroom come with an equally bughouse backstory. They were first put on the internet by a man named Frank Hoover, who alleges that they were taken by people looking to set up Jerry Jones in an extortion plot. Hoover explains all of this in his 20-page manifesto, which also makes clear that Hoover is in fact the son of God.
The reader who sent this photo along says he saw this butthole-eating in the parking lot of Nemo's, a bar near Ford Field. Kickoff's at 4:25, so these fans have plenty of time.
- Richard Sherman Breaks Up Pass, Wins Game, Goes Nuts On Erin Andrews
- America Is Not For Black People
- Bill Murray Crashes Bachelor Party, Gives Awesome Speech
- US Airways Tweets Out Photo Of Model Airplane In Woman's Vagina [NSFW]
- Taylor Swift's VMAs Performance, With Her Vocals Isolated
- Rainbow-Cake Recipe Inspires Comment Apocalypse
- Wrestling Legend "J.R." Jim Ross Calling The Brazil-Germany Highlights
- Here's A Guy With Two Fully Functional Penises (NSFW)
- Pouty Husband Sends Wife Spreadsheet Detailing Sex-Life Dissatisfaction
- Staying In Sochi Is A Hilarious Adventure
- Do You Know These Runners? Because They're Probably Bastards.
- Hey, Check Out Mario Gotze's Boat Boner
- The American Justice System Is Not Broken
- Woman Walking On Staples Center Ice Eats It On Live TV
- Notre Dame WR Takes Cute Selfie In Bed With Porn Star Lisa Ann
- A Gentleman's Guide To Sex In Prison
- Nobody Wants To Host The 2022 Olympics
- We Heard About The Nude Celeb Pics Hack Weeks Ago; Here's What We Know
- Paul George Breaks His Leg Horrifically In Team USA Scrimmage [GRAPHIC]
- NBA Owner Sterling To Girlfriend: Why Bring Black People To My Games?
- The Man Who Helped Bring Down Donald Sterling Is An Asshole, Too
- In 10 Minutes, ESPN's Bomani Jones Lays Waste To The Sterling Issue
- The Trouble With Floyd Mayweather
- Richard Sherman Explains What People Mean When They Call Him A "Thug"
- St. Louis Cardinals Prospect Oscar Taveras Killed In Car Crash
- Richard Sherman And The Plight Of The Conquering Negro
- Beyonce's VMAs Performance, With Her Vocals Isolated
- Here's A Lady Rubbing Her Face On Jerry Jones's Crotch
- Odell Beckham Jr. Makes Circus Catch Of The Year For A Touchdown
- This Is Painful: Floyd Mayweather Struggles To Read A Brief Radio Drop
- Ashley Wagner's "Bullshit" Moment Is The First Meme Of The Sochi Games
- ESPN Suspends Keith Law From Twitter For Defending Evolution [UPDATE]
- Stevie Wonder Is Not Blind: The Truther's Case
- Guy Drops A "Deez Nuts" During Interview On People's Court
- Canadians Freaking Out Over Winning Hockey Gold Is Just Fantastic
- Justin Verlander And His Butt Appear In Celebrity Nude Pic Flood [NSFW]
- Dominica's Fake Ski Team Scammed The Olympics And The Press
- This Guy Was Sharing The Hacked Celeb Nudes Weeks Before They Leaked
- Watching Random People Slap Each Other In The Face Is Weirdly Compelling
- Sherman-Crabtree: Watch And Listen To Their Mic'd Up Highlights
- Former Oklahoma RB: DeMarco Murray Had An Affair With My Wife
- Watch The Anti-Redskins Commercial That Will Run During The NBA Finals
- Comcast SportsNet Airs Our Version Of Cubs Mascot With Cock And Balls
- Cardinals Fans Get Ugly In Clash With Ferguson Protesters
- Fake Chef Fools Midwest Morning Shows, Makes Reporters Eat Gross Food
- Little Kid At Giants Parade Yells "Fuck Her Right In The Pussy" On Air
- Dumb People Mad At Multilingual "America The Beautiful" Coca-Cola Ad
- Report: Dustin Johnson Had "Sexual Indiscretion" With PGA Player's Wife
- Warrant Issued For Adrian Peterson's Arrest In Child Injury Case
- Christy Mack Posts Photos, Account Of Alleged Beating By War Machine
- Insane Handbook: Bills Cheerleaders Are Told How To Wash Their Vaginas
- Don't Tweet Menacing Things To Airlines, Like This Girl
- Horny Bills Fans Have No Concept Of Shame (NSFW)
- Insane $25 Million Lawsuit Vs. Johnny Manziel Alleges, Well, Everything
- Dumb People Say Stupid, Racist Shit About Richard Sherman
- The Mayor Of St. Louis Is A Complete Dipshit
- Antonio Brown Kicks A Punter In The Face, In Extreme Slow Motion
- 2014 Payrolls And Salaries For Every MLB Team
- Your Complete Quotable Guide To Decades Of Donald Sterling's Racism
- OSU Student With Lisa Ann GameDay Sign Attends Porn Awards With Her
- NFL Cheerleading Is A Scam: A Former Ravens Cheerleader Tells All
- LSU Outfielder Makes One Of The Best Catches You'll Ever See
- Floyd Mayweather And T.I. Reportedly Get Into Giant Brawl In Las Vegas
- Lady Who Just Lit Olympic Flame Tweeted A Racist Picture Of The Obamas
- Peyton Manning Has Had It With The Broncos' Scoreboard Operator
- Soccer Star Ezequiel Lavezzi Poses With Naked Vagina [NSFW]
- Paul George Unleashed A Once-In-A-Lifetime 360 Windmill Dunk
- The Future Of The Culture Wars Is Here, And It's Gamergate
- Here's Ray Rice Dragging His Unconscious Fiancee Out Of An Elevator
- Is This Celebrating Falcons Fan Grabbing Her Friend's Dick?
- This Is The Wheel Of Fortune Equivalent Of A Hail Mary Touchdown
- Adult Kickball Team Email: Please Don't Fuck Your Teammates Yet
- Brazil Fan Yells "Fuck Her Right In The Pussy" On Live World Cup Report
- Here's How The NFL Reacted To Michael Sam Coming Out
- Jeff Francoeur's Teammates Pulled A Hilarious Weeks-Long Prank On Him
- The Ultimate Warrior Was An Insane Dick
- This Girl Fight Is The Best Comedy And Action Movie Of The Year
- Marshawn Lynch Reaches For A Bottle Of Fireball At The Seahawks Parade
- World Series National Anthem Botched By That Asshole From Staind
- Gronk Ruins Sergio Brown's Life, Takes Penalty
- So, There's A Hardcore Fucking Video Posted On Kenny Britt's Instagram