What to watch while trying to figure out why David Beckham is trying to kill us all...
The Wire and more of tonight's best television, after the jump...

• Drug Dealing: The Wire. Kick. Ass. [HBO]
• Animation: The Simpsons. Wiggum '08 indeed, my friend. [FOX]
• Quasi-Sports: American Gladiators. Holy crap, thank you TiVo, God of the DVR. [NBC]