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Not content with a World Cup, the Emir of Qatar has set into motion his plans to host the ceremonial first leg of the 2016 Tour De France. While it's not unprecedented to hold the Grand Depart in a neighboring country, it would be something else to stick it in the Middle East, where, as FIFA seems to only now be learning, they have summers in July. More »
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The last stage of the Tour de France is designed to make you forget all those times that Grand Tour cyclists come off like persnickety bitches. It's a day of good feelings. A gentleman's agreement obtains whereby no one attacks the yellow jersey, and there's champagne to sip along the first few kilometers — even for those driving the team car, apparently. There are sweeping helicopter shots of the riders as they vibrate in circles along the Champs-Élysées cobblestone. The overall effect is as if a lot of freakishly skinny Spandex enthusiasts decided to throw themselves a parade. More »
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When last we checked in with the Tour, the race had become a bar fight. Many of the big-name riders were broken. Former champ Alberto Contador was mounting suicidal climbing attacks and punching fans. The French guy was throwing tantrums. It was as if the Tour had become an enormous raw nerve. Favorite Andy Schleck emerged from Stage 19 as the overall time leader. The only thing standing between Schleck and a cruise in yellow down the Champs-Élysées, Champagne flute in hand, was an individual time trial, a no-strategy, man-against-clock burner that happens to be the specialty of the one rider who could catch him. That would be Australian Cadel Evans, a two-time Tour runner-up, who'd clung like a barnacle near the top of the leaderboard. On the eve of the stage, Schleck remained optimistic: "The yellow jersey gives you wings and I hope that is the case tomorrow." Back in Australia, a country that has never produced a Tour de France champion, they cued up a midnight simulcast and started pounding Carltons. More »
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Until yesterday, the 2011 Tour de France had been a bit of a drowsy bore (even Lance Armstrong had admitted as much). Then came yesterday's 18th stage when, like a stag party on Day 3 of a Champagne bender, things lurched inexplicably alive. There was a punishing "stuff of legends" solo attack by gangly Luxembourger Andy Schleck, who may or may not talk to unicorns. There was the full-on disintegration of last year's winner, Alberto Contador. There was the tenacious ride by the uniformly discounted French underdog Tommy Voeckler. The hysteria over today's 19th stage was difficult to suppress: the final mountain stage, featuring the fabled 21 bends of the Alpe d'Huez — the 21 stairs to heaven, as they call it on TV. People in yellow bracelets were calling in late to work. More »
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The carnage at DeathFrance 3000 is not contained to the riders. Today a spectator dressed as a doctor and carrying a blood bag (A reference to his positive drug test at last year's Tour) joined others in running alongside Contador as he tried to make a last-ditch move on the last day in the Alps. Contador took a whack at the guy, and we can't really say we blame him. More »
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There are moments when commentary on even the most marginal events rises to such shrieking hyperbole that we're compelled to see what the fuss is all about. Today, Stage 18 of the Tour de France, was one of those days. Total. Freakout. Perhaps this is not unexpected from veteran Versus cycling announcer Phil Liggett, who gets fluttery when the lads start "dancing on the pedals" in any ol' race, but this was different. From the moment the heavily favored Andy Schleck began a 60-kilometer solo breakaway to finish first atop the fabled Galibier pass — the highest-altitude finish in Tour history — a protracted tantric orgasm shuddered through the cycling universe. Poor Liggett's going to need some Brandy and a Coumadin to settle down from what he called "one of the greatest rides in modern Tour times." But even the professionally nonplused gents on Eurosport (the Versus network's relatively ghetto competitor, but the most reliable free streaming option) were hollering that Stage 18 "will tell you everything you need to know about this sport." More »
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Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood. Old Onion dummy text, but it might make an appropriate headline for any given day at this year's Tour de France, aka DeathFrance 3000. More »
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They finally figured it out - men cycling on an open road is boring. But add some obstacles: cars, bikes, barbed wire, random spectators, all out to stop the riders by any means necessary, and we've got ourselves a sport. A living video game. Here's why we've been loving the first week of DeathFrance 3000. More »
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The summary of this Stage 9 Tour de France incident is concise: "Car clips Juan Antonio Flecha (Sky), Johnny Hoogerland (Vacansoleil-DCM) tumbles into a fence." If you want more, though, here's CyclingFan.net's summary: More »
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Your morning roundup for July 9, the day Detroit teaches us to respect the crackheads who walk among us. More »
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The human body was never designed to complete something like the Tour de France, let alone 15 of them. George Hincapie, best known as the longtime wingman/minion of Lance Armstrong, now sports a gnarly leg in the original sense of the word. More »
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Okay, it actually means that the farmers of 44 are "proud to feed you [and also they made a giant bike out of hay bales and tractors]." This display went up during a Tour de France stage earlier in the week, so we're a bit late — but we wanted to share it with you because it is a wonderful representation of the things people will do when they have free health care and five weeks of vacation each year. Fin. More »
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The Versus coverage team for Stage 5 of the Tour de France set out to describe the effects of the headwinds on lead riders in the peloton today. Explains tipster Jim: More »
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Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day. More »
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Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day. More »
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Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day. More »
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Alberto Contador came 108 miles closer to winning his third Tour, no thanks to a bunch of of sheep who came out of fucking nowhere to dart across the road in front of the peloton. More »
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Alberto Contador took the yellow jersey from Andy Schleck in today's Pyrenees stage. Noteworthy is the fact that Schleck is pissed that Contador — and the rest of the field — didn't stop and wait for him while he fixed his bike. More »
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Mark Cavendish took today's 11th stage, thanks to some well-timed headbutts from teammate Mark Renshaw. Renshaw became the first rider kicked out of the Tour, but it was totally worth it. More »
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Crashes effectively ended Lance Armstrong's Tour de France this weekend, and they've bedeviled a great many other Tour riders over the years. Our friends at Ranker.com have put together a video listicle of the worst crashes in Tour history. More »
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Rui Costa and Carlos Barredo got into it at the finish line of today's 6th stage of the Tour. The spark? A little Road Rash-style elbow to the gut during the race. More »
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Rick Reilly's annual exercise in mistaking Lance Armstrong for Saint Sebastian is upon us, and once again it finds our correspondent at his subject's massage table, taking in the view. More »
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Tour De France officials will be inspecting all riders' frames for concealed motors this year, thanks to this Swiss Saxo Bank rider. (Thought about adding something like, "leave it to a Swiss bank employee" but Saxo Bank is technically Danish.) More »
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Despite years of denials, disgraced Tour de France winner Floyd Landis is spilling his guts about his career-long use of blood doping and performance-enhancing drugs—and claiming that Lance Armstrong taught him how to do it. More »
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Remember when Floyd Landis didn't really win the Tour de France because of his iron-rich blood or something? France sure does and now they think he might have broken into the computer system that held his test results. More »
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Here's a shocker from the cycling world: Team Astana—which featured the first- and third-place finishers at the Tour de France—is now under a doping investigation! I'm starting to think cycling might have a problem with drugs. [AFP/AP] More »
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Tour de France winner Alberto Contador is celebrating his big victory by throwing "teammate" Lance Armstrong under the bus, instead of pushing him under an actual moving bus, which would have made the race infinitely more exciting. More »
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Alberto Contador has won his second Tour de France. Livestrong, Alberto! One person who's thrilled about this news? This precocious, Tour-loving five-year-old. [SI] More »
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Perhaps Lance Armstrong would secretly like his teammate Alberto Contador to be pinned down by this extremely zealous fan, so he can win an eighth race. More »
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Lance Armstrong moved to second place in the Tour de France this weekend, but fell almost two minutes behind his teammate, Alberto Contador. Oh, the indignity of the wingman, fighting for scraps as his "partner" reaps all the glory. More »
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One woman dies when she's hit by a police motorcycle, and two riders are injured by, um, air rifle projectiles. In other news, LiveStrong tweets about the injustice of George Hincapie not winning the yellow jersey. It's a cruel world. More »
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Two riders were hit by BBs during Stage 13 of the Tour, even though lunatic cycling fans can get close enough to club their victims with baguettes. Why not give your crazy violence a more personal touch? [VeloNews] More »
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The Tour de France tried an "experiment" today—banning radios that allow coaches and team leaders to communicate with their riders during the race. It's almost like they expect these athletes to use their own brains! More »
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Alberto Contador unexpectedly moved into second, and the Tour de France suddenly went all Brandy vs. Monica. Lance: "Things didn't really go according to the plan we mapped out before. I was a little surprised, but it doesn't matter." [AFP] More »
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The ad you see here is the new Lance Armstrong spot for Nike, which would be merely standard-issue, inspiromatic marketing schlock if it didn't come so creepily close to suggesting that to criticize Lance now is to somehow enable cancer. More »
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Lance Armstrong said he just wanted to get some exercise and maybe promote his wristbands, because after four years off, expecting him to win the Tour de France would just be silly. What's that? He's in first place now? Lovely. More »
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Lance Armstrong began his quest for eight with a solid start in the first-stage time trial. And that's the only mention of France we'll have on this July 4th, I can promise you that! East Coast Bias has you covered. More »
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A couple of scientists argue that Lance Armstrong did indeed employ certain exotic performance-enhancing procedures before his run of seven consecutive Tour De France victories: namely, getting his diseased testicle lopped off. More »
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Perhaps no athlete has used Twitter to his advantage more than Lance Armstrong; his Twitter Army found his stolen bike, after all. Now, our hero Twitters his outrage at those who stole some his hair. More »
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I guess he got bored bouncing along from one Hollywood starlet to another. Either that or Matthew McConaughey just isn't that impressed by him anymore. Armstrong, who will be 37 this month, is set to race for Astana for the 2009 season. His racing schedule would include — drumbeat — the Tour de France. Armstrong retired from racing in July of 2005 just after completing his 7th consecutive Tour de France win. More »
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