Jack Dickey is leaving us for Sports Illustrated, the grown-up version of Sports Illustrated Kids. He'll also be writing weird things for Time.com. We'll miss Jack for reasons too numerous to address here, and if we were the sort of site to get gloppy and sentimental about departures, we'd link to some favorite posts, four or five stories that best capture the spritely essence of his work over his two-plus years with us. But fuck that. Here's a recent group-chat exchange:

Tommy Craggs: headed in now

help tom finish up the twitter thing

it seems certain objections have been raised

Tom Scocca: Who's objecting?

Jack Dickey: Me.

Tommy Craggs: SHOCK

Tommy Craggs: the human objection

jack dickey, everyone

if he were a superhero

his name would be Qualm

he nags his foes into the ground

with the power generated by the force of his flapping hands

Tom Scocca: "I'm not sure you should really have that Gamma Death-Cannon, should you?"

Transactions, July 12

Come back soon, Dickey.

In happier news: Tim Marchman, who for too long has been brilliant for too many media outlets that are not Deadspin, is joining us as deputy editor. And you may have noticed longtime Deadspin pal Andy Hutchins on the site of late. He's our new assistant video editor. Please say horrible things about them in the comments now.