Welcome to Tuesday Night Fights, a weekly celebration and analysis of street-fight videos found on YouTube. Tonight's fisticuffs: "Philly fight on lippincott st: Precious n Neesh." Tonight's commentator: An active-duty Philadelphia police officer, who's returning to TNF. (Coming next week: TBA.)
The video opens with the two pugilists already locked in battle. The southpaw is landing Balboa-esque lefts and the fight is off to an incredible start.
Sadly, 15 seconds in, it goes the way of most girl fights and the hair grabbing begins.
Balboa takes head-scarf down at the 23-second mark and it's not looking like this fight will last much longer. While head-scarf is on her back, all I can think about is "How awful must it be to be laying the middle of such a disgusting street." It is at this point where I start to feel bad for head-scarf.
At the :50 mark Balboa tries the old "Drive your fucking forehead into the blacktop" move with no avail. Good thinking on her part, though.
A little after minute in, a street ref, who I assume is Richard Steele's daughter, steps in and does the right thing. However, both combatants refuse to let go of the others' hair.
It's annoying for a while and the gentleman videographer has it right when he states that he is wasting his film time.
Finally, we get separation. Both fighters return to their respective corners and a break is taken when a trash-picker comes down the block to pickup his wingman. (FYI: These are the guys who stole all of the copper out of your basement. Hope you got the license plate number.)
Balboa throws on a hoodie to stay warm. Veteran move.
Meanwhile, her opponent has the scarf off and looks to be a hot mess. A cut-man in her corner would be ideal here. Maybe one with shears like Brutus Beefcake had to cut that hair off. My sympathy for this girl is growing.
Obligatory World Star reference: the Drudge Report of the 'hood.
And we are back to action a little after the four minute mark.
Balboa is back to her old tricks and goes right for the hair. Now would be a good time for the Ric Flair thumb-to-the-eye. The fighter formerly known as head-scarf does one better and gives Balboa some of her own medicine. I would have preferred some harder punches to Balboa's face, but I am content with the effort.
Sadly, Richard Steele's spawn steps between and shows her bias for Balboa.
Like father, like Daughter.
The fight is over.
Looks to me like Steele stopped it because Balboa was not defending herself. Soooo.....winner by TKO and NEEEEEWWWWWW Lippincott Street champion.....Head-Scarf!!!!
Suck it Balboa.
Also, great to see the lighting-fast response by the cops. Keep up the good work guys!
And now the rest of the Tuesday Night Fights:
• And here's a "CRAZY GIRL STREET FIGHT." (SoV, instantly)
• London Halal Butchers Gone Wild! (SoV, 0:36)
• A Blows Between Bros Intermission Report:
• The violence is limited in this here "KC Gas Station Fight." But the production value is such that TNF inclusion was required. (SoV, 0:10)
• You'd think someone who recorded a street fight in Hollywood this weekend would have a modicum of camerability. You'd be wrong. (SoV, 0:06)
• This is from China, in whatever they call November. It involves someone's laptop zeroed in on a lady dancing while watching a nightclub scuffle. (SoV, 0:37) Related story: A 2010 Tulsa strip-club beatdown, complete with shovels, stools and kicks to heads. (SoV, 0:17)
• The North Philly, Don't You Ever Change Intermezzo:
• Local bar security vs. a "gang." Who ya got? (SoV, instantly)
• Whomever posted this said the ladies were fighting in the middle of the street. Sure looks like a sidewalk, though. (SoV, instantly)
• Postcards from Calamba City. (SoV, 0:08)
• Kazakhstan strong! (SoV, 0:30)
• The "Chipie smashes a junkie" interlude:
• The city that gave you American freedom (215 represent) now gives you "Peanut Fight." (SoV, 2:00). Bonus Coverage: "Bum vs cop fight in Philly" (SoV, 1:25). Bonus Coverage II - Oldie But Goodie (SoV, 0:15).
• From TNF's Beijing correspondent Anthony Tao, the story of a hotel staff subjected to a perpetual beatdown. (SoV, 0:03)
• TNF reader "Joey" sent in this surveillance footage of two cats fighting the other night. (SoV, instantly)
• The Pay Your Gambling Debts In Russia (Potentially Snuff-Film One) To Grow On:
• Is "Gay Gangs Street Fight - Literally 'You Hit Like My Sister'" a re-run? (SoV, instantly)
• These best friends fought in the street over a boy. smdh. (SoV, instantly)
• A train leaves some station in Singapore and approaches Sembawang MRT station. A passenger does not have the courtesy to use headphones to ensure the porn sounds were for his/her ears only. A battle ensues. A fight posted on YouTube includes fair warning that there's totally a lot of cursing in Hokkien. (SoV, briefly, at 0:30)
• Others: "Street fight turns into mixed martial arts." "Veteran knocks out street punk trying to act tough." "Excellent Russian street fight gets better by the minute." "Girl fight for St. Patrick's in North Beach, SF." "Guy fighting Girl." "Patong Bangla Road Fight 23/03/2013." "2013 south padre spring break fight!" "reno fight on 4th street."
• The Brass Knuckles! Bats! Blood! Coda: