"Aaron Rouse returned one of his three interceptions 46 yards for a touchdown to help the Virginia Destroyers win the United Football League championship game, 17-3 over the Las Vegas Locomotives on Friday night. ... The Destroyers gave coach Marty Schottenheimer his first pro title."

Congratulations, indeed, Marty. You showed Snyder and Spanos! Now, let's pretend that the sentence we put into ellipses didn't include the phrase "Dominic Rhodes, the league's offensive MVP."

[AP]