Tom Izzo kicked off Midnight Madness at Michigan State by entering the arena to a Phil Collins song while straddling an enormous cannon. He was then blasted out of that cannon into a safety net clear across the court. Except of course he wasn't fired out of a cannon.

Izzo himself revealed to the crowd that it was actually a short, busty blonde woman pretending to be Izzo who was fired out of the cannon, in case you ever in a million years thought Michigan State would shoot its head coach out of a fucking a cannon and that, if such a lapse in judgment were to ever occur, Tom Izzo was nimble enough to flip himself out of the safety net moments after being shot out of a fucking cannon and that his team then rushed over to congratulate and obscure him for what seemed like three hours before he finally emerged.

[Bob's Blitz]