Deadspin: Washington Wizards

Wizards Fan Says LeBron Threatened To Kick His Ass For Heckling Him

Dom Cosentino — Sat, 11 Feb 2012 17:00:28 EST

Former Deadspin contributor Sarah Kogod overheard what she called a "heated conversation" between LeBron James and a Wizards fan last night. She then spoke to the fan, got his take, and tweeted what he had to say, which included a threat from LeBron: More »

Watch Maurice Evans Run Away From The Chance To Be On The Jeremy Lin Poster

Tom Scocca — Thu, 09 Feb 2012 16:50:43 EST

Yes, Knicks insta-sensation Jeremy Lin shook John Wall with a nasty crossover last night, on his way to a highlight dunk against the Wizards. But the true measure of Linsanity comes from Washington's Maurice Evans, who sees No. 17 coming, takes a tentative slide step toward stopping him, then changes his mind and throws his body out of the picture, Patriots-against-Ahmad Bradshaw style. No one will ever mistake Maurice Evans for Kendrick Perkins, that's for sure. Don't miss Wall's open-armed gesture of exasperation at the clear-the-runway defense, the latest in his growing arsenal of incredulous-reaction moves. Wizards Basketball! More »

This Is Why JaVale McGee Is The Best Thing In The NBA

Tommy Craggs — Tue, 07 Feb 2012 10:25:19 EST

This is from last night's Raptors-Wizards game. Please keep an eye on JaVale McGee. He's the fellow who first goes backward between the legs (impressive), then throws up the ball within an area code of the hoop (less impressive), then goes tearing down the court while the Wiz still have possession (awesome). JaVale McGee hustles back on defense while on offense. More »

Ted Leonsis Has Had It With The Washington Post "Harboring Criminals" Who Resell Wizards Tickets, The Way The Wizards Do

Dom Cosentino — Fri, 03 Feb 2012 16:50:00 EST

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As long as Dan Snyder is around Washington, Wizards and Capitals owner Ted Leonsis won't ever be the city's most thin-skinned sports owner. But with his Caps and Wizards turning in disappointing and horrifying seasons, respectively, Leonsis has been showing the strain. More »

This Is Encouraging, Wizards Fans: Andray Blatche Says Randy Wittman Is "The Same Coach As Flip"

Sports Radio Interviews — Wed, 25 Jan 2012 17:05:00 EST

Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: the rudderless Wizards drift closer to the rocks. More »

JaVale McGee's Mother Has Some Ideas About How The Washington Wizards Should Showcase JaVale McGee

Dom Cosentino — Fri, 20 Jan 2012 13:15:50 EST

The Washington Wizards may be complacent on the court, but no one works harder on finding hilarious ways to be dysfunctional. Today's contributor: JaVale McGee's mommy, who has complaints about her son's playing time, his role in the team's offense, and whether he's being coached properly. More »

Ticket Prices For The Next Wizards Home Game Have Jumped 60 Percent In One Day ... To $3.99

Dom Cosentino — Wed, 18 Jan 2012 18:41:52 EST

Those same seats for Friday's game against the Nuggets were going for just $2.50 yesterday afternoon. Which was way up from the 30 cents apiece a few guys shelled out to see the Raptors last week. At just under four bucks a pop, you too can catch Wizards fever. I think. [StubHub] More »

Chandler Parsons Just Dunked On JaVale McGee

Timothy Burke — Mon, 16 Jan 2012 14:45:25 EST

Sure, it's a tip-slam, but if you're 7'0" JaVale McGee then the likes of Chandler Parsons should not be dunking on you—under any circumstances. Parsons then rides around with his crotch in McGee's face for a few seconds just added to the degradation, but these sorts of things are how a team like Washington can start the season 1-11. [CSN] More »

Of All The Great NBA Uniforms To Steal, Kuwaiti Pro Team Chooses The Wizards

Barry Petchesky — Wed, 11 Jan 2012 16:25:59 EST

If you were going to pattern your club after an NBA team, it'd have to be the Wiz, right, right? Al Kuwait, which plays in, yes, Kuwait, is getting some press after photos of their jerseys made the rounds. It's nearly identical to the Wizards' new jerseys, right down to the red white and blue representing our nation's capital, and also not the Kuwaiti flag. [NBC Washington] More »

Wizards Big Man Hamady Ndiaye Stuffed Himself Into A Mini Car Last Night

Dom Cosentino — Wed, 28 Dec 2011 12:40:00 EST

Yes, he fit. All seven feet of him. No word on whether he let his knees do the driving. [Twitter, via DC Sports Bog] More »

Michael Jordan The Player Would've Hated Michael Jordan The Hardline Owner

Emma Carmichael — Fri, 04 Nov 2011 18:30:00 EDT

Over at SB Nation, Tom Ziller has compiled some of Michael Jordan's contradictory views on the NBA lockout. In a meeting during the '98 lockout, for example, Jordan the player told Wizards owner Abe Pollin, "If you can't make it work economically, you should sell the team." Ziller points out that in this lockout, Jordan the owner "does not believe the current model allows him to make the Charlotte Bobcats work economically." [SB Nation] More »

23-Year-Old NBA Player With One Losing Season Under His Belt Says He "Can Be Better Than Michael Jordan"

Emma Carmichael — Fri, 28 Oct 2011 10:10:00 EDT

Jordan Crawford, the 23-year-old guard who has played in a single, 23-59 NBA season: "'I don't tell nobody, but I feel like I can be better than Michael Jordan,' Crawford said, without the slightest hint of sarcasm. 'When I'm done playing, I don't want people to say, Michael Jordan is the best player. I want that to be me.... I feel like I'm better than him, anyway. My mom is going to say I'm better than him.' Crawford cracked a smile, only because the comment was met with stunned laughter, but he was serious." [Wizards Insider] More »

Andray Blatche Made Pitiful "Team Building Workout" T-Shirts For His Wizards Teammates

Emma Carmichael — Thu, 22 Sep 2011 17:35:00 EDT

And then SB Nation's Jon Bois wrote a one-act play about it. If you only read a single one-act play today, this should be it: "TEAMMATE 2. This... workout? You made us shirts for a workout?" [SB Nation] More »

Rashard Lewis Is "Willing To Sacrifice" Himself For The NBA Owners' Sins

Emma Carmichael — Thu, 22 Sep 2011 12:20:30 EDT

In 2007, chronic underachiever Rashard Lewis signed a six-year, $118-million contract with the Orlando Magic. Then, last December, the Magic unloaded Lewis onto the Washington Wizards in exchange for their own chronic underachiever, Gilbert Arenas. Arenas had a six-year, $111-million contract at the time. Four years later, there was a lockout, and no one lived happily ever after, because there was no pro basketball. More »

Javaris Crittenton Allegedly Killed That Lady Because Someone Stole $55k Of Jewelry From Him

Jack Dickey — Tue, 30 Aug 2011 20:05:00 EDT

From the AP: "[Crittenton] appeared to be retaliating for being robbed of $55,000 worth of jewelry, police said. More »

Javaris Crittenton Will Turn Himself In Tonight

Jack Dickey — Mon, 29 Aug 2011 18:15:00 EDT

Put down your pitchforks, Atlantans. Javaris Crittenton, the former Georgia Tech/Lakers/Grizzlies/Wizards guard, will surrender to Atlanta police, after a brief disappearance and manhunt that landed him federal charges of unlawful flight to avoid prosecution. He's wanted in connection with an August 19 drive-by shooting. More »

Nick Young Is An Unexpected Contender For The NBA's Premier Hipster

Emma Carmichael — Mon, 01 Aug 2011 19:00:00 EDT

We've had some discussion in the Deadspin office today about the use of the word "hipster," and whether or not we can apply the term to Washington Wizards guard Nick Young, who scored 60 points in a Drew League game last night. Dickey claims that the term is too "fraught" and complicated to be so liberally applied. He wondered about the historical context of Young's hipsterdom — "was his hair always this floppy?" — and if it was really fair to count a magazine photo shoot against (or for!) him. Someone else posited that he might be a "blipster," to borrow a term that probably should not be borrowed, and it was also suggested that he might be an "inverse hoopster," which, I don't know — it's just too soon. More »

The NBA Draft: Where Love Happens?

Emma Carmichael — Fri, 24 Jun 2011 12:00:00 EDT

Jan Vesely, a 6-11 swingman from the Czech Republic, was selected sixth overall by the Washington Wizards in last night's NBA Draft. For any 21-year-old, the moment would have been special. You're on national television in a brand new suit, and you're about to become a millionaire. But Vesely and his girlfriend, Eva Kodouskova, further memorialized it with an awards show kiss that understandably attracted some immediate curiosity. It was adorable. More »

Former Cavalier/Wizard Larry Hughes May Have Pumped Your Gas Yesterday

Jack Dickey — Mon, 30 May 2011 14:00:00 EDT

And no, it's not because he shot .355 from the field in the '09-'10 season, during which he was dumped by the Knicks, Kings, and Bobcats. He made $84 million in his career, silly! More »

Washington Wizards Have Brand New Jerseys, Hopefully A Brand New Game

Emma Carmichael — Tue, 10 May 2011 14:20:00 EDT

The Washington Wizards unveiled their Bullets- and nation-inspired new logos and uniforms in D.C. today. They're red, white, and blue, because of America, which team president Ernie Grunfeld says "our players love... It's appropriate that the Wizards, Mystics and Capitals now share their colors and the goal of bringing a championship to Washington, DC." We wish them the best. More »

The 2010-11 Washington Wizards, In One Handy Microcosm

Barry Petchesky — Fri, 15 Apr 2011 17:00:00 EDT

JaVale McGee on John Wall's performance as team captain: "I didn't know he was the captain. But, since you said it…I really didn't notice it I guess." [Via Kogod] More »

Wizards Don't Want You Giggling At The Prospect Of Two Men Kissing On Their Kiss-Cam

Luke O'Brien — Thu, 14 Apr 2011 14:45:05 EDT

Unless you're into losing, the best part of a Wizards game for many years has been the kiss-cam, a silly distraction during timeouts that puts an opposite-sex couple in the crowd on the big screen and urges them to smooch. It's funny because you never know if the people actually will kiss. You don't even know if they're at the game together. At the end of the segment, the camera settles on two players on the visiting team, which provokes laughter and antics from the athletes. No more. Too gay. Too offensive to gays. Not acceptable for children to see same-sex people almost kissing. Not a politically correct enough depiction of homosexuality for children to see. Whatever. The kiss-cam will no longer show two people of the same gender on screen. For fear of offending everyone. More »

This Celtics Lowlight Is The Most B-Team Clip Ever

Emma Carmichael — Tue, 12 Apr 2011 11:10:00 EDT

See Von Wafer swoop down the lane. See Von Wafer miss on a wide-open dunk. See Von Wafer believe that he has made the dunk. See Von Wafer face the crowd in celebration. See Von Wafer turn and collide with his teammate, who has collected his offensive board. See Von Wafer make his teammate, Jermaine O'Neal, double-dribble in surprise. See Von Wafer's wide-open dunk attempt become a turnover with three minutes to play in overtime. The Wizards went on to win, 95-94. The only thing we wish we could also see, after all this: Doc's reaction. More »

Here's JaVale McGee's Pretty Nuts Mid-Air Steal-Block

Jack Dickey — Wed, 23 Mar 2011 00:25:00 EDT

So what if JaVale McGee authored the second-worst triple-double ever last week, while on the wrong side of a blowout? He still had 12 blocks! More »

JaVale McGee And The Second-Worst Triple-Double Ever

Barry Petchesky — Wed, 16 Mar 2011 10:05:00 EDT

With time running out in a blowout, Washington's JaVale McGee found himself with 12 rebounds, 12 blocks — and 9 points. You think he wanted that triple-double? The final 3:43 of the game consisted solely of McGee taking shots and turning the ball over as Chicago continued to score. More »

Here's Derrick Rose Going Between The Legs To Joakim Noah

Emma Carmichael — Tue, 01 Mar 2011 10:55:00 EST

This is one of Rose's nine assists in Chicago's 105-77 drubbing of the Wizards last night. It's also, you'll notice, a one-year Calipari point guard schooling a younger one-year Calipari point guard, John Wall, in the NBA fast break. Rose finished with 21 and 9; Wall had 9 and 10. More »

Colin Cowherd Keeps Fucking That Chicken (UPDATE)

David Matthews — Fri, 12 Nov 2010 15:35:50 EST

Yesterday, on the heels of John Wall's first career triple-double in his sixth career game, Colin Cowherd once again took to the airwaves to air his grievance about Wall's play. It was tasteful; he invoked Wall's dead dad and everything. More »

Gilbert Arenas Opens Up About Crapping In People's Shoes

David Matthews — Thu, 11 Nov 2010 15:15:00 EST

In January, in a Gilbert Arenas feature for the Washington Post, Mike Wise and Michael Lee casually noted that Gil, a renowned locker room prankster, "once defecated in teammate Andray Blatche's shoe." It's brushed over pretty quickly and the article moves on. More »

Last Night's Winner: John Wall's Eventual, Inevitable Quintuple-Double

Barry Petchesky — Thu, 11 Nov 2010 10:40:00 EST

It took young Mr. Wall all of six games to put together his first career triple-double, a thing of beauty even against the hapless Rockets. He also had six steals. One day he'll put it all together with, yes, 10 turnovers. More »

Set Your Sights High, Wizards Fans

Barry Petchesky — Tue, 09 Nov 2010 15:00:00 EST

Owner Ted Leonsis: "Had we won a close game at home on Saturday, we would be playing on Wednesday for a .500 record...A 2-3 record would qualify for the playoffs if they started today." Dream the impossible dream, Washington. [Ted's Take] More »

Wizards Owner Will Dougie If A Game Sells Out

Barry Petchesky — Fri, 05 Nov 2010 14:50:00 EDT

Ted Leonsis promises to emulate John Wall's Dougie if the Wiz have just one sellout. A sellout is not like making the playoffs or Andray Blatche earning his contract; this is a doable thing. [Ted's Take] More »

Colin Cowherd's Asinine John Wall Rant, With Video Accompaniment

David Matthews — Thu, 04 Nov 2010 15:15:00 EDT

On Tuesday, John Wall played his first home game as a Washington Wizard. During his introduction, he came out to "Teach Me How To Dougie" and performed the accompanying dance. Colin Cowherd was less than thrilled because Colin Cowherd is an asshole. More »

Last Night's Winner: Gilbert Arenas's Minor Act Of Treason

Barry Petchesky — Wed, 13 Oct 2010 11:00:37 EDT

In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like Agent Zero, who had managed to stay away from controversy for a whole five months, until he admitted he faked an injury to give a buddy some PT. More »

John Wall Is Good At Basketball, Is Better Showman

David Matthews — Mon, 04 Oct 2010 10:15:00 EDT

When he isn't dancing, John Wall plays some exciting point guard. Here's video of him splitting the defense not once, but twice and finishing with an absurd 360-degree lay up during a recent Wizards scrimmage. [Wizards Extreme; via D.C. Sports Blog] More »

Watch Randy Foye's Mystifying Canadian TV Debut

David Matthews — Mon, 24 May 2010 17:45:36 EDT

Washington Wizard Randy Foye performed some small screen magic by appearing in an episode of the Canadian TV show Wingin' It. What Randy Foye has to do with Canadian tweens and angels is beyond me. And probably Randy Foye, too. [via FreeDarko] More »

Last Night's Winner: The Wizards, Somehow

Tommy Craggs — Wed, 19 May 2010 11:45:16 EDT

In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the Wizards, who, despite long odds, left the annual Secaucus Bingo Night and Bad Suit Competition with the rights to try and not screw up John Wall. More »

And Your No. 1 NBA Draft Pick Goes To ... The Wizards

Dashiell Bennett — Tue, 18 May 2010 20:30:33 EDT

Sorry, John Wall. Washington leapfrogs four teams to get the No. 1 slot. My vague, unverifiable prediction: The Nets will be glad for this in the long run, I think. More »

Wizards Tickets Less Valuable Than A Pot Of Coffee

Dashiell Bennett — Thu, 04 Mar 2010 17:00:02 EST

The NBA has an exciting new promotion where fans can earn two free tickets to a Washington home game simply by drinking five cups of Dunkin Donuts coffee. Or save up for a sixth cup....and get another cup of coffee! More »

Josh Howard: Party Monster

Barry Petchesky — Fri, 19 Feb 2010 13:00:00 EST

Howard might have been jumping for joy inside when he got traded to Washington. Not because the Wizards are any good, but because it was in Washington last month that he drank so much, he couldn't play the next day. More »

Javaris Crittenton Pleads Guilty To Gun Charge, Gets Probation

Dashiell Bennett — Mon, 25 Jan 2010 16:35:49 EST

The Washington Wizards guard plead guilty to a misdemeanor weapons charge today—as opposed to the felony weapons charge handed to Gilbert Arenas—and will get one year of probation and a fine. Don't worry, it gets weirder. More »