Cleveland Zoo Owl Betrays Her City, Predicts LeBron Will Stay In Miami

Tawny just did you dirty, Cleveland. You provide a home for her in the Cleveland Zoo, and this is how she repays you.

This traitorous barn owl spit on her city—yes, I looked it up, owls can spit (pellets)—when she was asked to choose LeBron's new team out of Miami and Cleveland. Tawny landed on Miami. What the fuck's your problem, Tawny?

And just like that, the pile of totally legitimate internet evidence that LeBron's going to the Cavs goes up in smoke.