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I’m watching water polo right now, and it was maybe 20 minutes into the match, as the players yet again swam from one end of the pool to another on a change of possession, that I realized I would just give up then and there. I’m a fine enough swimmer, but it’s exhausting just to toss around a frisbee in ocean water too deep to stand in. Water polo, which is a brutally physical sport in ways we can’t even see on TV, is my death warrant. I would sink to the bottom and die and I would welcome the oblivion.


So: Which Olympic sport, if you were forced to compete right now, would kill you, and how?