Welcome to Tuesday Night Fights, a weekly celebration and analysis of street-fight videos found on YouTube. Tonight's fisticuffs: "Crazy 4th of july brawl at Havasu. KO!" Tonight's commentator: noted white-on-white-crime evaluator Cord Jefferson of Gawker. (Coming next week: A courthouse brawl reviewed by a real-life bailiff.)
For years now, the mainstream media, World Star Hip Hop and hundreds of thousands of racist YouTube commenters have unintentionally conspired to convince Americans that raucous street fights are somehow a uniquely black experience.
Click on any normal subway brawl between a couple black teenagers in New York City and you're bound to be inundated with the comment that's under every video of black people fighting: "This kind of thing wouldn't happen if these guys went back to Africa, you know."
Alas, we do not live in a post-racial society. But thanks to rampant surveillance via closed circuit television and our own smartphones, we do live in a society in which we can definitively say that minorities aren't the only ones knocking the shit out of each other in line at Wendy's, like idiots.
Last week's Huntington Beach chaos was a good example of that, and contained herein are several more instances. My hope is that posts like Brian's here will help lead to a future in which we judge one another not by the color of our skin, but by the content of our character, with the knowledge that people of all colors and creeds behave like total assholes in public sometimes.
And if we can't, well, I hate to sound racist, but perhaps it's time we start sending some of these guys back to Europe.
And now, the rest of the Tuesday Night Fights:
• The Classically Scored White Girls Gone Fightin' Wild Enterlude:
• Police vs. Skinhead Nazis. WHO YA GOT? (Start of Violence, 0:40)
• Fleet of foot. Fleet of fist. (SoV, 0:13)
• Worldstar whitestar collection (SoV, 0:45).
• The game-changing "Street Fight In Sweden!" (SoV, 1:11)
• Cancun Memories To Last A Lifetime Intermission Report:
• Daylight. New England. Fights flow white on the highway. (SoV, 0:20)
• Wild crowd vs. crowd action!!! (SoV, 0:21)
• Guy here lost some nose in a street fight. He will take Round Two into a courtroom. (SoV, 0:21)
• Favorite cracker in this parking-lot scuffle? The one in a jacket, drifting aboard an above-it-all cloud. (SoV, instantly)
• Barefoot "bitch" brawlin' in Union, Pennsyltucky. Woot. (SoV, instantly)
• Greek Bar-Fight Intermezzo:
• Presenting "White Dude Gets His Head Cracked In Street Fight." (SoV, instantly)
• Fans of Spartak and Zenit St. Petersburg just can't seem to get along. (SoV, 0:15ish)
• OMG. Makenna is, like, so annoying. And Kiernan is, like, the bestest homegirl around. GO KIERNAN!!! (SoV, 0:32)
• Драка у кафе doesn't look anything like a fight in a cafe. Just looks like a pack of white Russians in a street. (SoV, 1:06)
• When A Sandusky, Ohio McDonald's Turns Into Crackalackin' Barrel:
• The Beijing report will return next week.
• Animalistic redneckery. (SoV, 0:02)
• Per HappyKillmore20, "white boi wanna fight after We robbed his weak asx" (SoV, 0:03).
• White-Trash Courtroom Verbal Fracas Live Look-In:
• Wigger vs. Dominican on South Beach. WHO YA GOT? (SoV, 0:05)
• Bros fight, shake hands. (SoV, instantly)
• Seventeen seconds of ladies fighting on Longstreet in Zürich. Then, nearly two minutes of, well, I don't know what they're talking about. (SoV, instantly)
• Others: "Ceylon,Street Fight Whacking." "Unfall: Schlägerei im russischen Straßenverkehr." "racist fight after bar west palm beach black vs white." "8/7/05-Chromium Nightclub Gang Fight-Lake & Halsteda Chicago 8/7/05-Chromium Honky-Tonk Ring Quarrel." "Crazy Girl Fight Beatdown youtube Orginal)." "White girl fight @ park #BigDaddyProduction." "Crazy Street Fight." "Street fight white boy gets knocked out New York." "Man, 80, confronts bar patrons with shotgun." "Walnut creek fight Asian kid gets white kid back." "Black Girl beats the face of white girl Fight." "Subway fight after cubs vs sox."
• The Tulip Fest Port-o-Potty Smackdown Coda: