While discussing how he bribed people to say nice things to color man Steve Stone on his birthday during the top of the first inning of tonight’s tilt against the Seattle Mariners, Chicago White Sox play-by-play man Jason Benetti admitted that the team had run out of money for the announcing team to spend during the second half of the season.
“We have no budget left for the second half of the season,” he said.
Benetti and Stone spent the bottom of the first attempting to justify the—it was fucking fine, I know!—trade of Sox ace José Quintana to the Chicago Cubs.
Before the game, Sox boss Rick Hahn said “wetbutt23" on CSN.
Disclosure: The author of this piece has been provided Gordon Beckham’s used footwear by the Chicago White Sox, and has been sent a Hawk Harrelson alarm clock by a White Sox enthusiast. His opinions are his own.