Deadspin: Woody Paige

This Evening: Woody Paige Is A Sad Clown

Emma Carmichael — Mon, 31 Oct 2011 19:10:00 EDT

Your p.m. roundup for Oct. 31, the day Domino's resorted to arson. Photo via Mock Session. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors. More »

Has God Forsaken Tim Tebow?

Luke O'Brien — Fri, 05 Aug 2011 14:40:56 EDT

Poor Tim Tebow. No matter how much time he spends on his knees, he's probably not going to be the starting quarterback in Denver. Kyle Orton has been practicing exclusively with the Broncos first-team offense. Tebow hasn't gotten a single snap. According to Woody Paige at the Denver Post, the young Christian is having trouble coming to terms with what the idea that the prophecies might not be true: More »

Around The Horn Takes On The March Madness Selection Process

Emma Carmichael — Wed, 23 Mar 2011 18:15:00 EDT

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This is a clip from an Around The Horn episode about a week ago, in which the four journalists du jour took on the March Madness selection process — a topic that seemed to be on everybody's mind. "How much difference between the innies and the outies?" wondered show host Tony Reali. "What do you think of the job the selection committee did," he asked, "and what do you think of the whole process?" Here are the illuminating responses — from Woody Paige, Tim Cowlishaw, J.A. Adande, and Bob Ryan — all at once. Don't say you didn't learn something today. More »

Woody Paige On Kenny McKinley And His Own Suicide Plans

Tommy Craggs — Thu, 23 Sep 2010 14:48:04 EDT

Go read Woody Paige's column about the late Kenny McKinley, in which he writes movingly of his own thoughts of suicide eight years ago: "The next morning I would head over to the coast and swim out in the Pacific Ocean far enough that I couldn't make it back to the beach." More »

Woody Paige And The Perils Of Public Displays Of Affection

Drew Magary — Wed, 09 Jun 2010 13:55:00 EDT

An anonymous reader sent in this photo of Woody Paige goin' around the tongue with a fine lass at the Big Game bar in Denver. Here's the background. More »

Woody Paige Wants You To Call A Phone Sex Line

David Matthews — Wed, 19 May 2010 18:50:00 EDT

Woody Paige, Around The Horn's resident jester, likes to have a little fun on the show with his trusty chalkboard. Today's message: "Advertise Here: 1-800-555-HORN." What do you get when you call? A message from Paige? A phone-sex line? Could be anything. More »

Make-Up Lady's Sex Harassment Suit Against ESPN Appears Headed Toward Settlement

A.J. Daulerio — Wed, 17 Feb 2010 12:30:59 EST

Remember waaaay back in 2007 when make-up lady "to the stars" Rita Ragone sued ESPN and AVI for sexual harassment and named Woody Paige and Jay Crawford as egregious fanny-pinchers? Well, unfortunately, the claims against those two have been tossed. More »

Woody Paige Must Have Missed The Meeting

Dashiell Bennett — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 18:20:24 EDT

Jemele Hill graduated from "Cold Pizza" to "Around The Horn" today—her first appearance on the show—and Woody Paige wasted no time in making an inappropriate overture to her grandmother. Smooth. [Video via ESPN] More »

Mike Shanahan Shuts His Mouth, Knows His Role

Dashiell Bennett — Tue, 21 Jul 2009 10:05:24 EDT

Mike Shanahan will be the highest paid coach in the NFL this season, provided he doesn't actually coach anybody. Or talk to anybody. Yes, getting fired from a high-paying job is great work if you can get it. More »

Broncos Stink Like A Flower That Stinks Really Bad

Matt Sussman — Sat, 19 Jul 2008 14:15:00 EDT

Here's a game for you the next time you pick up the sports section of a newspaper. (If people still do that these days. Zing! High five!) Find their local columnist and count how many consecutive one-sentence paragraphs that lead off their article. Today, it's Woody Paige, and the count comes in at six. More »

Woody Paige Would Like To Trade Matt Holliday For Magic Beans

Will Leitch — Mon, 02 Jun 2008 11:10:30 EDT

We've certainly made fun of Woody Paige for a while around these parts, but we've still given him a level of esteem and prestige above that of a random late-night talk-radio caller. But considering the amount of basic understanding (or lack thereof) of how the operation of a baseball team works he showed in yesterday's column about the Rockies and Matt Holliday, we have perhaps been too generous. More »

Media Approval Ratings: Woody Paige

Will Leitch — Fri, 16 May 2008 13:05:33 EDT

We used to have a lot more fun with Woody Paige than we do now because, back when we first started this site, we felt compelled to write about "Cold Pizza" every day, because it was so ridiculous and because we were home all day and the only people watching. (We are certain we were the only people on earth to catch the time Woody ate dog food on air.) More »

"No Artest, no Miller, no place to go and...

sussman — Sun, 06 Apr 2008 11:50:00 EDT

"No Artest, no Miller, no place to go and no way to get there for Sacramento. Hakuna matata. It means "no worries" for the Nuggets. Worry. Kings beat Jokers Saturday night." I recognize most of those words as English, but strung together as such, what the hell was just said? [Denver Post] More »

Inside The Mind Of Baseball HOF Voters

Leitch — Wed, 02 Jan 2008 17:00:25 EST

The next class of the Baseball Hall of Fame will be announced next Tuesday, and it should be a tight squeeze for a few folks. How seriously are the Hall of Fame voters taking this historic election? More »

If You're Nice To Woody Paige, You Have A Chance At The Hall Of Fame

Leitch — Mon, 17 Dec 2007 16:40:25 EST

Keith Law and Rob Neyer, two guys who know more baseball than we've forgotten — wait ... is that how that phrase goes? — but they can't vote for the Hall of Fame. Woody Paige can. Vegas Watch looks at Paige's detailed, thorough thought process. More »

September 11: Perspectives From Bayless, Mariotti And Paige

Leitch — Tue, 11 Sep 2007 13:05:42 EDT

It's the six-year anniversary of September 11 today, and we're not gonna make a huge thing about it, because everyone should grieve / remember in their own personal way. To commemorate the occasion, though, we thought it might be fun to step in the way back machine and see how three of our great political minds reacted to the situation in print at the time: Woody Paige, Jay Mariotti and Skip Bayless. Come with us. More »

Rita Ragone Has Influential Friends

rickchand — Mon, 02 Jul 2007 11:10:40 EDT

Be advised, Woody Paige; if you think that you're going to steamroll Rita Ragone in this sexual harrassment lawsuit due to your celebrity status, think again. Ms. Ragone, Stylist to the Stars, has some powerful friends. According to her web site, not only is Stephen A. Smith in her corner, but she also counts The Great Throwdini as a personal friend. So unless Woody is friends with The Amazing Throwgali, he had better watch it. More »

ESPN Would Like You To Know That Only Harold Reynolds Harasses People

Leitch — Fri, 29 Jun 2007 16:40:03 EDT

Probably time to check in on that whole Woody Paige sexual harassment lawsuit business. Not that many new details have been released since yesterday, except that we've learned a bit more about Jay Crawford, amazingly. (Seriously, we didn't think they guy even knew how to read.) We did enjoy the following denials from both ESPN and Atlantic Video (the production company of "Cold Pizza.") More »

ESPN, Woody Paige Sued For Sexual Harassment

Leitch — Thu, 28 Jun 2007 15:30:12 EDT

As if ESPN wasn't having enough troubles, word just broke: The network and Woody Paige are being sued by a former "Cold Pizza" makeup artist for sexual harassment. ("Fire him!") The juicy and terrifying details: More »

Woody Paige Fingers Terry Glenn

mjdeadspin — Sat, 16 Dec 2006 14:45:00 EST

If you were watching Around the Horn yesterday (just kidding, I know you weren't), you might have seen Woody Paige reveal the locker-room snitch that Terrell Owens told Michael Irvin all about. Owens said in the ESPN interview that someone inside the Dallas organization made it a point to tell the media about even the slightest of his transgressions, but he wouldn't say name him, and hadn't confronted him. Woody Paige dropped a dime on the snitch yesterday. Maybe. More »

Woody Paige Refutes His Own Refutation

Leitch — Fri, 03 Nov 2006 11:45:00 EST

About three weeks ago, "Cold Pizza" dog-food eater Woody Paige denied rumors that he was leaving New York and all its Atlantic Video goodness to go back to The Denver Post and write columns about, uh, wearing funny hats or something. He said the rumors were just rumors. More »

Woody Paige Enters Mode Of Retreat

Leitch — Tue, 10 Oct 2006 16:15:28 EDT

We've made fun of "Cold Pizza"'s and "Around The Horn"'s Woody Paige around these parts, if just because we're one of the 13 people on Earth who actually watches "Cold Pizza." (Unless they're playing Plinko on "The Price Is Right.") Also, because Paige isn't against the notion of eating dog food on live television. More »

Clipping Coupons At "Cold Pizza"

Leitch — Thu, 23 Mar 2006 12:30:19 EST

We know we pick on "Cold Pizza" a little more than we should around here; it's kind of an easy target sometimes, and besides, since we're here by ourselves all day, it's the only thing on. It's not as bad a show as, say, "Quite Frankly" or "Teammates," which is not to say it will ever be confused with anything good. More »

Elsewhere...

mjdeadspin — Sun, 05 Feb 2006 15:27:08 EST

• I'm not from Philadelphia or New Jersey, so you'll have to forgive me, but I don't get the appeal of the Wing Bowl. Many seem to enjoy it, though. [The 700 Level] More »

We Have To Ask ...

Leitch — Wed, 01 Feb 2006 11:30:46 EST

Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... More »

The Kids, They Love Woody Paige

Leitch — Thu, 22 Dec 2005 13:20:05 EST

Did you know that ESPN dog food eater Woody Paige is a huge hit with the college kids? Did you know that he's the sensation that's sweeping the nation? Did you know that he can't walk anywhere on the streets of New York City without being mobbed by adoring fans? You didn't know that? Really? Well, so you know, all that's totally happening. More »

"Cold Pizza" Now Lunchtime Treat

Leitch — Mon, 05 Dec 2005 10:07:34 EST

Over the weekend, our man Woody Paige — whom we swear we're not picking on; we're gonna cut down on Woody news soon, promise — wrote his last column from the Denver Post, saying he's now going to "stick it out in New York for a while." We have no problem with this; we live in New York too, we like it here and totally understand wanting to stay here. More »

What You Wish Woody Would Say

Leitch — Fri, 02 Dec 2005 10:05:16 EST

While watching Woody Paige dressed up as Elvis on "Cold Pizza" this morning — because he's outrageous! — we decided to filter through our requested submissions for Woody's chalkboard sayings from our readers and thought we present you the best ones. This one might be our favorite, since it reminds the world of Paige's brightest moment. More »

Woody Paige Sees All

Leitch — Thu, 01 Dec 2005 13:45:20 EST

On yesterday's "Around The Horn," our man Woody Paige acknowledges that the world is watching. More »

Woody Paige Is More Serious Than You Think

Leitch — Mon, 17 Oct 2005 15:02:43 EDT

You thought you knew Woody Paige. You thought he was the guy who ate dog food on the air. You thought he was the guy who threw temper tantrums because nobody invites his girlfriends to ESPN going-away parties. You thought he was the dope who wore stupid hats and called himself, inventively, "Professor Screw Loose." More »

Well, We Suppose It Was Inevitable

Leitch — Thu, 13 Oct 2005 11:52:44 EDT

This morning, ESPN2's "Cold Pizza" featured several mock "battles" between the "actors" from the Medieval Times "restaurant" chain. Afterwards, sports "analysts" Skip Bayless and Woody Paige gave them all hugs. And that's all we have to say about that. More »

Woody Paige Bites The Hand That Fed Him

Leitch — Wed, 05 Oct 2005 14:29:41 EDT

After pointing out last week that "Cold Pizza"'s Woody Paige had been reduced to eating dog food live on camera, we've heard some more news about everybody's favorite "columnist." More »

Mark Shapiro's Many Missteps

Leitch — Fri, 30 Sep 2005 14:35:21 EDT

As we continue to glance backward at ESPN alpha dog Mark Shapiro's tenure, we take a look back at some of the more serious missteps during his reign. More »

Yeah, Red Smith Totally Used To Eat Weird Crap

Leitch — Thu, 29 Sep 2005 11:29:43 EDT

OK, so we were just watching the rerun of this morning's episode of ESPN2's "Cold Pizza" — we can only watch the same "SportsCenter" so many times before our soul starts to collapse into powder — and we saw Hometown Columnist Woody Paige eat a whole canister of dog food. More »

How Much For That Bayless Column In The Window?

Leitch — Wed, 28 Sep 2005 11:46:41 EDT

So we hadn't visited our old friends at The New York Times on the Web in a while, so we thought we'd log in. We're kind fond of George Vecsey, and we find Selena Roberts quite hot. More »

Why Your Hometown Columnist Sucks: Woody Paige

Leitch — Tue, 27 Sep 2005 14:18:47 EDT

We hate to frontload this feature with such an apt subject — it's only our second one — and after Woody Paige there's really no place else to go, is there? After spending the last hour reading his old Denver Post columns, we're really kicking ourselves: We could have saved a lot of time and effort by just hiring a guy to scream at us for 15 minutes while chasing us around the yard with a rake. More »