Scott Sauerbeck Apologizes To His "Fans" - Deadspin Comments

Scott Sauerbeck Apologizes To His "Fans"

Unsilent Majority — Wed, 31 May 2006 19:34:01 EDT

mo-hio, albert was drunk with rage. I'm a rageaholic...I'M ADDICTED TO RAGEAHOL!

Unsilent Majority

Scott Sauerbeck Apologizes To His "Fans"

yerfatma — Wed, 31 May 2006 19:10:40 EDT

Meh, that's 4 athelets in a major metropolitan area. The Foxy Lady in Providence alone had two (Mo Vaughn, Rod Rutledge) incidents in a couple of years.

yerfatma

Scott Sauerbeck Apologizes To His "Fans"

Mo-hio — Wed, 31 May 2006 17:28:40 EDT

Juancho is dead on. Cleveland athletes are always getting busted for DUI's. Ruben Droughens William Green Albert Belle (Actually, that was for chasing down kids, but you get the point.) Milton Bradley And those are just off the top of my head...

Mo-hio

Scott Sauerbeck Apologizes To His "Fans"

Juancho — Wed, 31 May 2006 13:38:54 EDT

Don't laugh, drunken athletes on the streets of Cleveland are a big problem. Thome always drove a gigantic Hummer, imagine the people he could take out if he pulled a Lizzie Grubman.

Juancho

Scott Sauerbeck Apologizes To His "Fans"

doodlebug — Wed, 31 May 2006 13:24:54 EDT

The young lady's nickname is "Right Thing".

doodlebug

Scott Sauerbeck Apologizes To His "Fans"

Reverend — Wed, 31 May 2006 13:15:48 EDT

Mock all you want, 'spinners, but I for one will sleep better at night knowing this criminal mastermind has been apprehended.

Reverend

Scott Sauerbeck Apologizes To His "Fans"

Peter DeWolf — Wed, 31 May 2006 13:06:36 EDT

Hail to Hail to the Victors. Well-crafted.

Peter DeWolf

Scott Sauerbeck Apologizes To His "Fans"

Smoking Pope — Wed, 31 May 2006 13:06:13 EDT

He should use the excuse I used that time on the grassy knoll... ...Oops, I've said too much.

Smoking Pope

Scott Sauerbeck Apologizes To His "Fans"

Carmen McFanzone — Wed, 31 May 2006 12:58:47 EDT

Has Carl checked in with Sauerbeck's parents yet?

Carmen McFanzone

Scott Sauerbeck Apologizes To His "Fans"

papalovesmambo — Wed, 31 May 2006 12:49:23 EDT

45 minutes after they stopped (that's how long it took the cops to find 'em) lily blows a .253. so scotty was riding shotgun in a '66 lincoln convertible with a woman who while possibly able to steer or work the pedals was certainly not able to do both in that state. he had to have carried her into the bushes because chances are she didn't even know they'd left wherever they were. good luck getting a statement from her too. sweet ride, though. and who wouldn't hop into a convertible with a drunk chick named lily? it's ohio fer goodness sakes.

papalovesmambo

Scott Sauerbeck Apologizes To His "Fans"

Spanish Necktie — Wed, 31 May 2006 12:47:53 EDT

Oh, so now we know the nickname of the young lady involved in the bush-jumping incident: "The Right Thing."

Spanish Necktie

Scott Sauerbeck Apologizes To His "Fans"

Big Daddy Drew — Wed, 31 May 2006 12:45:49 EDT

Also, by "the right thing", I'm pretty sure he meant anal.

Big Daddy Drew

Scott Sauerbeck Apologizes To His "Fans"

Hail to the Victors — Wed, 31 May 2006 12:45:44 EDT

After he saw the police behind him, he dove into the bushes and pulled out his laptop so he could quickly drop himself in his fantasy league.

Hail to the Victors

Scott Sauerbeck Apologizes To His "Fans"

Hercules McAwesome — Wed, 31 May 2006 12:43:34 EDT

It is obvious that Sauerbeck just wanted to help his neighbor, who had been caught drunk-driving with some local slut, and who had taken refuge in his bushes. Scott dove in to the landscaping, as he wanted to talk to him about the perils of driving while intoxicated, adultery, etc. And if he had to get his hands a little dirty, well, that's just the type of neighbor Scott is. Unfortunately, when the police arrived, the neighbor had taken off, just as Scott was getting to the part of how stupid you could look hiding in bushes, drunk, with some babe (not your wife). Being a method actor, Scott was drunk, hiding in the bushes, with some babe (not his wife). Daniel Day-Lewis would do the same thing.

Hercules McAwesome

Scott Sauerbeck Apologizes To His "Fans"

Basshole — Wed, 31 May 2006 12:42:54 EDT

Which is worse: making a "terrible error in judgement" with some skank in the bushes, or making a "bad decision" by yourself in a public library?

Basshole

Scott Sauerbeck Apologizes To His "Fans"

Big Daddy Drew — Wed, 31 May 2006 12:40:47 EDT

More disturbing is the fact that Cleveland ballpalyers apparently call manager Eric Wedge "Wedgie". Bet ol' Wedgie there commands some serious respect in that clubhouse.

Big Daddy Drew

Scott Sauerbeck Apologizes To His "Fans"

Dweeze — Wed, 31 May 2006 12:40:20 EDT

Shouldn't that be "Scott Sauerbeck apologizes to his fan"?

Dweeze

Scott Sauerbeck Apologizes To His "Fans"

Paper Cut — Wed, 31 May 2006 12:38:33 EDT

I thought the side effect of blood pressure medication was homosexuality.

Paper Cut

Scott Sauerbeck Apologizes To His "Fans"

mark duffy — Wed, 31 May 2006 12:36:13 EDT

pulling weeds.

mark duffy

Scott Sauerbeck Apologizes To His "Fans"

The Kurt Rambii — Wed, 31 May 2006 12:33:28 EDT

I'm going to work a clean one, and then a dirty one. Clean: Scott comes from a long line of lawncare specialists, and that lawn needed his help, damn the timing! Dirty: Simple misunderstanding. The woman had just said that if she knew she was going to meet a ballplayer that night, she would have trimmed her bush. Good night, everybody!

The Kurt Rambii

Scott Sauerbeck Apologizes To His "Fans"

Phatty — Wed, 31 May 2006 12:32:48 EDT

I hope Modell's can stay in buiness with the obvious drop in Sauerbeck jerseys this is going to create.

Phatty

Scott Sauerbeck Apologizes To His "Fans"

Unsilent Majority — Wed, 31 May 2006 12:30:28 EDT

he was bangin some girl on the side (in his own hometown no less) and he couldn't be there when she picked up a dui or his wife could have found out. the moral: keep your action in the side limited to road destinations...like barry

Unsilent Majority

Scott Sauerbeck Apologizes To His "Fans"

the ghost of gil heredia — Wed, 31 May 2006 12:21:08 EDT

He was rushing to the aid of a "fan" who had broken his leg, and lay helpless in the bushes.

the ghost of gil heredia