And might i comment on how Ronaldinho has to be some kind of hybrid interspecies mix between a chimpanzee and a human...im just putting it out there.

"Maybe Zidane was playing a little too much "WWE Raw" before his matches."

Goddamn this post is funny, especially when your high as hell.

Deadspin is great during the season and all, but anyone have other solid websites for EPL news thats updated more often?

I'd imagine that sex with Ronaldinho would rather unpleasant. Or with anyone that shoots 4 times every 90 minutes.

Better than sex with Frank Lampard; he'd shoot 20 times and never hit the target.

Your mom looks like Ronaldo

"shoots 4 times every 90 minutes"

That may be true, but I would think a strike would drive consistently.

nice wikipedia entry on Alexanddra...

Wait, wait...In 1998 the media blamed Ronaldo's poor performance in the Final against France because he had spent all of the previous evening playing Tomb Raider (my favorite was referring to his long standing affair with Ms. Croft).

Well, at least we now remember why PS was banned by the Brazilians.

Margaret Colin!!! Ha! I was a bit of a William Fitchner fan myself.
Sadly, her soap opera love interest Hal just killed himself a few weeks back.

I heard Ronaldinho gets off to Tevez

Dan. Thanks for that scary post of the mutant toot-toot. I don't know if I can do lunch now. Mrs PimpmyPR's thankfully looks nothing like that, though it is similarly trimmed.

I remember seeing Vlade "Floppy" Divac on Leno some years ago, and he
confessed that he had a pre-game ritual of eating a burrito from Taco
Bell before every game.

My apologies if this fires up another debate of good places to eat
burritos, but anytime I have the chance to metion the name Vlade Divac,
I jump at the opportunity.

I wonder what sounds they make during whoopee.

He's an alien for christ's sake. His kryptonian biological makeup is enhanced by the sun. If Lois gets a tan he can kick right through her stomach. Only someone like Wonder Woman could have a strong enough uterus to carry his kid. The only way he can bang regular chicks is with a kryptonite condom. But that would kill him.

"do you really want me to tell the media what goes on here at night?"
("what, that you play video games while I fall asleep unfulfilled? Go ahead, it sure beats this sneaking around shit!")

organization opposed to domestic violence, child abuse, infanticide

Way to take a stand on the issues.

I don't mean to get too Kotaku here, but I can see how FIFA might screw him up for actual games. Too arcadey. If he had been smart, he'd play Pro Evo. Far more realistic gameplay, may have even helped him in reality.

...and since I don't want to be 'that guy who brought up video games when we were talking about tits' here's a door in some game that looks like a vagina.

Wait, I don't think that helps my rep...

"Too little, too late, Bodie."

"What? I thought you said it was a good size!"

"The effort, you moron, the effort. But, now that you mention it, when a girl says it's 'a good size', that's a nice way of saying it's small."

Maybe he was watching Mallrats, too.

Margaret Colin has got one of those big long faces that scare me. Kinda like Ruud Van Nistelroy

ha, Lemieux, love the line. Bullshit! Eateries that operate within the designated square downstairs qualify as food court, anything operating outside the said designated square is considered an autonomous unit for mid-mall snacking

A couple nice quotes from Alexandra:

"One night he made me scream with such pleasure the people on the hotel terrace below heard us because my window was open."

"Sometimes he hires a helicopter so we can go to the capital to shop - he is very thoughtful."

The man sounds like a Deadspinner!

Golden Tee improved my putting skills, so I totally see why fucking and Fifa on the Playstation is acceptable.

Step one: Fuck Ronaldlo, the old bastard.

Step two: Score from 40ft.

Why the long face, Ronaldinho?

He better watch out for Paul O'Neill.

also, that guy's got the makings of an outie belly button.
that boy ain't right.

Better wikipedia line about Ms. Colin:

"...the daughter of a police officer and a crop duster."

Its not his teeth she was interested, it is his mad skillz with his balls...and of course i am not sure how the sex was a problem for him. He should be used to it...isnt there a story about how he scored 26 times in one day as an 8 year old? or something like that.

long jumper claims sex before match; sets new world record.
soccer player claims sex before match; sucks it up
results of sex to athletic performance: inconclusive
results of video games on athletic performance:
remains decidedly negative
by the way, does this prove that playing videogames was more important to this guy than winning world cup?
i think this settles the question of if the super bowl or world cup is the greatest sports accomplishment. you think that scott norwood was up the night before the super bowl kicking 60 yard field goals through in tecmo bowl? i don't think so.

Breakfasts come and go Renee. But Hartford. The Whale. They beat Vancouver once, maybe twice in a lifetime.

Still waiting for the NSFW of margaret Colin, kids...

I'd imagine that sex with Ronaldinho would rather unpleasant. Or with anyone that shoots 4 times every 90 minutes.

From the Wikipedia page of Margaret Colin:

Colin is a pro-life activist and is the honorary co-chair of Feminists for Life, a nonsectarian, nonpartisan organization opposed to domestic violence, child abuse, infanticide, and abortion.

Interesting. . .

I wonder if she has to follow soccer rules as well...no hands.

I picked the wrong line of work. Nobody believes me when I tell them my subpar work is due to my sex with hot models and ps2 addictions.
It's totally true too.

Landon Donovan is now claiming he sucked at the World Cup because he spent every night jerking it into a sock and then playing Crash Bandicoot.

___________

hilarious.

Was it one of those space-age "memory" pillows?

Meanwhile Adriano and Ronaldo have come up with the excuse was that they were up all night with 20 bags of Doritos.
Joke: Adriano and Ronaldo walk in to Burger King. Adriano says, "Two Whoppers please". The bloke behind the counter replies: "Ok you're both not fat and can still play at the world level."

TheStarterWife, no sex before games is a rule for alot of teams because
it decreases testorone levels in an athlete which is not good.

I'm way down with both the Maggie Colin and the Harley Jane. Boo yah!

chopper dave- that's excellent

Maybe Zidane was playing a little too much "WWE Raw" before his matches.

whoa... Ronaldinho and a model?
sounds like bestiality to me. Though, Kevin Smith would call it "interspecies erotica".

Holy hot tits on the Google Image Search! Yeah, I'd no-show at a World Cup for Alexandra, too.

Margaret Colin, nice!

When I was younger and had a Sega, I actually told my Dad that buying Fifa 96 would help me improve my soccer skills. Let's hope he doesn't see this post and retroactively demand 50 bucks.

I've seen her picture.

His excuse is totally acceptable.

When current Man City and England backup keeper David "Calamity" James committed a series of howlers at Liverpool, he said he had shot his reflexes by playing too much PlayStation.

Pancake ass:

http://www.calcioblog.it/uploads/alexandraparessant.jpg

Not Safe For Work

Landon Donovan is now claiming he sucked at the World Cup because he spent every night jerking it into a sock and then playing Crash Bandicoot.

Unfortunately my first two thoughts were -
1) Wouldn't that make his balls lighter and therefore easier to run around with for 90 minutes? (And I apologize for that thought, because I really have never understood the "no sex rule" with men and sports.)
2) How do soccer players use a controller if they're used to not using their hands in a game?
(I apologize for both... really...)

Excellent call on Margaret Colin, Will.

and PS2 with Nintendo 64...ok, it was a game boy.

Will, I think you've said just about enough. To make me puke, that is. Thank you.

I bet she is with him for his mad skills with his teeth. Look at the
size of those two front teeth! He gets down on the fish wrinkle like a
beaver on a log. ;>

NSFW pic here: http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,2-2006330768,,00.html<!--...

Margaret Colin? Wow, had to look her up; she never made by spanktravision archive.

Margaret Colin? Where's the love for Harley Jane Kozak?

I've used the same excuse before. Sorry I didn't get all my work done, but I was just too tired from banging this chick all night and then relaxing afterwards with a good game of PS2.
The good news is that it sets a standard for guys everywhere! "Look babe, he's a professional soccer player, a celebrity, and he's banging a model, a model!! And even he doesn't have to cuddle afterwards. He gets to play Playstation!"

How bout we get a picture of this chick and THEN we'll determine if what was worth losing the World Cup for.

Lots of personal revelations from Will today.
I've would've figured Topanga from Boy Meets World. You think you know a guy...