<![CDATA[The Closer: Cubs Are High On Substance Z - Deadspin Comments]]> <![CDATA[The Closer: Cubs Are High On Substance Z - Deadspin Comments]]> <![CDATA[The Closer: Cubs Are High On Substance Z]]> Z has more home runs than EIGHT different Cubs that he has fewer at-bats than this year, among them Juan Pierre (who has the most ABs on the team) and Neifi Perez (who has the most ABs on the team that make me want to kill myself). And as has been mentioned, he has as many as Derrek Lee, and also our supposed everyday LF, Matt Murton.

And oh yeah, he's 11-3 with a 3.27 ERA.

How can you not love this guy?

Bleacher Bum

]]> <![CDATA[The Closer: Cubs Are High On Substance Z]]> Kazmir, Zambrano, Fregosi, Ryan......ah shit, I could take Glavine yard with that glop he throws up to the plate sometimes.

On the other hand, we are still double digits in front of the Braves, and Zambrano has as many dingers as Derek Lee. A little perspective, please

Tugged At Mets Fan

]]> <![CDATA[The Closer: Cubs Are High On Substance Z]]> Bouj, I believe the actual rule is no facial hair below the upper lip.

"Dammit Mattingly I told you to shave those side burns!"

Dr. Jonas Venture, Jr.

]]> <![CDATA[The Closer: Cubs Are High On Substance Z]]> Mustaches are allowed by the Yankees. No other facial hair though.

Remember the long line of great Yankee 'staches in the Steinbrenner Era: Mattingly, Guidry, Reggie, Pagiarulo, Boggs. I could go on. It's like Lance Bass' dream baseball team.

The Bouj

]]> <![CDATA[The Closer: Cubs Are High On Substance Z]]> Will they make him shave it off?

jimcooke

]]> <![CDATA[The Closer: Cubs Are High On Substance Z]]> Good for the Yankees. We haven't had a good moustache in town since Donnie retired.

Harry Pelotas

]]> <![CDATA[The Closer: Cubs Are High On Substance Z]]> Rob -
I think they're just going to use him for a "scared straight" strategy with A-Rod.

Mr. Poon

]]> <![CDATA[The Closer: Cubs Are High On Substance Z]]> THE YANKEES TRADED FOR SAL FASANO?!?

Rob Iracane

]]> <![CDATA[The Closer: Cubs Are High On Substance Z]]> Baker for better or worse has always been known as a "player's manager" and you could tell he was loathe to yank Dempster. Dempster tried to storm off the mound before Baker made it all the way out. Dusty called him back to the mound to give him a few words, but Dempster wouldn't even make eye contact.

FWIW, Dempster seemed to be over it after the game. Personally, I don't care how he felt. I've never considered him to be a legit big league closer.

Dusty Rhodes, on the other hand, would have hollered "Lawdamercy" and given Dempster, Carlos Beltran and the home plate umpire successive bionic elbows-- then stuck out then entire Mets side on one verrrry slow pitch ala Bugs Bunny.

flubby

]]> <![CDATA[The Closer: Cubs Are High On Substance Z]]> Stalin, in Beckett's 13 wins, he's allowed more than 3 runs only once. So I don't know if run support is that much of an issue for him.

jimcooke

]]> <![CDATA[The Closer: Cubs Are High On Substance Z]]> Never let a woman get between a man and his WPA graphs!

Rob Iracane

]]> <![CDATA[The Closer: Cubs Are High On Substance Z]]> Stinkiest Gambler outing ever? Sorry, my vote still goes to this.

shea_guevara

]]> <![CDATA[The Closer: Cubs Are High On Substance Z]]> The graphs are coming back soon, Rob, just as soon as the honeymoon phase with the new woman ends.

Rockin' Joe Stalin

]]> <![CDATA[The Closer: Cubs Are High On Substance Z]]> Zambrano has done so much this year with so little help, it almost seems inevitable that we'll trade him for a couple washed up hacks and a Double A batboy.
And probably to the freakin' Cardinals, so Will can do the Lou Brock gloat. Again.

Carson

]]> <![CDATA[The Closer: Cubs Are High On Substance Z]]> "Ow! Why are my bones so brittle?! I've been drinking plenty of... MALK?!" (Malk: Now fortified with Vitamin R)

Dr. Jonas Venture, Jr.

]]> <![CDATA[The Closer: Cubs Are High On Substance Z]]> It's only a matter of time before the gambler folds 'em and walks away.

notorious

]]> <![CDATA[The Closer: Cubs Are High On Substance Z]]> Cubs Win, Sox Lose, and Will gets to see the team that will be sweeping the hated Cardinals in four straight, starting with Rich Hill, the only Cub to ever be publicly criticized by Dusty Baker, dude, in person.

What's next?

Dan Serafini

]]> <![CDATA[The Closer: Cubs Are High On Substance Z]]> Maybe if Clemens could convince the rest of his team to start juicing like he does, he'd get this much-needed run support.

McSwollenvich

]]> <![CDATA[The Closer: Cubs Are High On Substance Z]]> Agreed on your first comment, Brandon. Those Twins are unstoppable, low paid (for professional atheletes) beasts!

Packman

]]> <![CDATA[The Closer: Cubs Are High On Substance Z]]> i held my breath the entire ninth. by far the most exciting game this season. go twins!

soozycue

]]> <![CDATA[The Closer: Cubs Are High On Substance Z]]> Hey! Sporting Brews! I read your site everyday. I miss the graphs.

Rob Iracane

]]> <![CDATA[The Closer: Cubs Are High On Substance Z]]> And Randy had six of the worst games of anyone's career.

Rockin' Joe Stalin

]]> <![CDATA[The Closer: Cubs Are High On Substance Z]]> Hell, he's only .03 better than Randy Friggin Johnson.

Rob Iracane

]]> <![CDATA[The Closer: Cubs Are High On Substance Z]]> 1-4(th starter) punch like Schilling and Beckett maybe. Beckett's HR's allowed is equal to the number of HR's hit by Manny this year, only 6 behind Papi. And among the 'luminaries' with a better ERA than Beckett so far this season:

Brad Radke, pitching with a torn labrum
Anna Benson's Husband
Paul Byrd
Mark Buehrle and his 13 ERA in July
10000 year old Jamie Moyer

and just ahead of Jon Garland, who had a 6.5 ERA a month ago. Heck, Wakefield is well ahead of Beckett in the ERA standings, and he was pitching with a broken rib for a month.

Yinka Double Dare

]]> <![CDATA[The Closer: Cubs Are High On Substance Z]]> Finally the Cubbies make the Closer for good stuff! I think it's time the Cubs let Z have a shot at all their wives. They owe him at least that. Prior and Wood first. Or maybe Dusty if he keeps his job.

Marla Collins

]]> <![CDATA[The Closer: Cubs Are High On Substance Z]]> Wow, I didn't even know the closer was up already.

I was too busy making inappropriate references to genitials in the HR post...

Hustler of Culture

]]> <![CDATA[The Closer: Cubs Are High On Substance Z]]> Agreed, soozycue. I don't recall a more exciting, nerve-wracking regular season Twins game. Joe Nathan looked like he'd shat himself.

Kooby Pickett

]]> <![CDATA[The Closer: Cubs Are High On Substance Z]]> "that twins/sox game last night felt like the playoffs."

yeah but it tasted like burning

KOGOD

]]> <![CDATA[The Closer: Cubs Are High On Substance Z]]> I love Beckett's 4.77 ERA. What a stud. But he throws hard, is feisty, and has 13 wins, so it's ok. Haha-- since when did Will Leitch turn into Joe Morgan? Curt and Josh and pray for a wash??

BTW Kenny Rogers line: 0.2 IP, 97 ERA. 90-f'n-seven. I'm sorry, that's a nightmare.

SlickBomb

]]> <![CDATA[The Closer: Cubs Are High On Substance Z]]> that twins/sox game last night felt like the playoffs.

soozycue

]]> <![CDATA[The Closer: Cubs Are High On Substance Z]]> Small sample size aside, Guiel has a higher slugging percentage than Giambi.

Rob Iracane

]]> <![CDATA[The Closer: Cubs Are High On Substance Z]]> flubby, i think you mean Dusty had the ass.

lopey

]]> <![CDATA[The Closer: Cubs Are High On Substance Z]]> You know what -- screw the Wild Card. I say the Twins shoot for winning the division outright. Bring it on, Detroilet.

I want Holyfield!

Kooby Pickett

]]> <![CDATA[The Closer: Cubs Are High On Substance Z]]> I think Dusty Springfield could manage the team better.

Rob Iracane

]]> <![CDATA[The Closer: Cubs Are High On Substance Z]]> Looked like Dempster had the ass when Dusty yanked him. He wouldn't look Dusty in the eye.

Good call on Baker's part, but I still think Dusty Rhodes could manage this team better.

flubby

]]> <![CDATA[The Closer: Cubs Are High On Substance Z]]> so is the word "kazmir"

KOGOD

]]> <![CDATA[The Closer: Cubs Are High On Substance Z]]> wow, that last post makes little sense. RFK - now serving 16 ounce Heineken in teh stands. SJF slow today. That is all.

SteveJeltzFan

]]> <![CDATA[The Closer: Cubs Are High On Substance Z]]> Beckett wins because he gets tons of run support. Come on, Will, you're a BP reader. You really give that much credence to a counting stat like Wins? How about another more accurate counting stat, like home runs allowed?

Rockin' Joe Stalin

]]> <![CDATA[The Closer: Cubs Are High On Substance Z]]> well, if deadspin.com goes offline today, I'm going to immediately peg Z as a suspect for taking up all the bandwidth on the Internet!

grungedave

]]> <![CDATA[The Closer: Cubs Are High On Substance Z]]> 6. Heinie-Town. SJF and his accomplice DrunkNate discover that "RFK's Grand Opening" loosely translates into "Roaming 16 oz. Heineken." Merciless heckling of Barry Bonds, ballpark hangover ensue.

SteveJeltzFan

]]> <![CDATA[The Closer: Cubs Are High On Substance Z]]> Aaron Guile

That is all.

Footsteps Falco

]]> <![CDATA[The Closer: Cubs Are High On Substance Z]]> The word "Zambrano" is like kryptonite to the Mets.

Rob Iracane

]]> <![CDATA[The Closer: Cubs Are High On Substance Z]]> I know certain guys have had trouble with the new steroid testing, but don't you think Trot should be able to afford some HGH on his salary?

The Chin

]]> <![CDATA[The Closer: Cubs Are High On Substance Z]]> Substance Z is good, but Vitamin Y is a lot better.

parker91

]]> <![CDATA[The Closer: Cubs Are High On Substance Z]]> Z is full up on ADD, what he needs is medicine to keep it in check.

lopey

]]> <![CDATA[The Closer: Cubs Are High On Substance Z]]> Yeah, Roger's pretty throw-a-bat-at-Mike Piazza angry about that loss.

Mark Cuban Missile Crisis

]]>