I'm Sorry, Goalie, But You Are Screwed - Deadspin Comments

I'm Sorry, Goalie, But You Are Screwed

Barry White Stripes, Office LW — Mon, 11 Dec 2006 12:27:28 EST

I for one welcome our new soccer overlords.

I'm Sorry, Goalie, But You Are Screwed

Krowser — Mon, 11 Dec 2006 01:33:46 EST

Lyon winning the whole shebang... I think that has been common place for the last 2 years and they have collapsed before getting anywhere near the title in each of those seasons, why not 3 peat it this time.

Krowser

I'm Sorry, Goalie, But You Are Screwed

moomacher — Sun, 10 Dec 2006 23:42:56 EST

Ok. How the fuck can you stop that Chelsea goal. Ridiculous. But Arsenal played awesome minus TH14 and Gallas. They arent't going to win the EPL this year, but Champions League glory beckons. And considering how young Arsenal is, they are going to be even better next year.

Hot tip, for all you gamblers out there, is Lyon to win the whole shebang. And then maybe our D bag soccer federation can hire their coach.

moomacher

I'm Sorry, Goalie, But You Are Screwed

Pinata — Sun, 10 Dec 2006 21:46:05 EST

I'm proud (or maybe a little ashamed) to say I saw this happen live.

(No college football to watch.)

Pinata

I'm Sorry, Goalie, But You Are Screwed

spinachdip — Sun, 10 Dec 2006 19:45:00 EST

Poor Timmy Howard. But if a guy launches from that far out and you're caught off the line, there's nothing you can do, except maybe trip and look even more stupid like Harper did against Xabi Alonso.

spinachdip

I'm Sorry, Goalie, But You Are Screwed

Denis Lemieux — Sun, 10 Dec 2006 19:43:02 EST

Tim Howard is North Brunswick's best know celebrity since Aires Spears. So yeah, seeing something like that isn't too surprising.

Denis Lemieux

I'm Sorry, Goalie, But You Are Screwed

Matt_T — Sun, 10 Dec 2006 19:05:51 EST

I'm glad the soccer player that I share a name with appears to be a badass.

Matt_T

I'm Sorry, Goalie, But You Are Screwed

Roy Keane — Sun, 10 Dec 2006 19:03:49 EST

Lehmann is the greatest purse-swinger of all time. Cripes, he's a friggin' broad!

Good idea about mandatory time-outs, MP. Try a little forced short-handed action for more than just 45 seconds.

Roy Keane

I'm Sorry, Goalie, But You Are Screwed

Michael Pemulis — Sun, 10 Dec 2006 18:56:45 EST

I agree Mr. Keane. Post-match review sounds like a good idea. Similarly it might help if there was mandatory "time out" period for people who go down with an "injury." Something like 5 minutes would probably work. I know it doesn't really address the core of the flopping problem, but if a player thought he might be forced out of the game for a few minutes if he went down might be a helpful trigger.

Either that or they could just send Lehmann after a flopper for a few well-aimed shoves. Especially with the Mickey-hands on.

Michael Pemulis

I'm Sorry, Goalie, But You Are Screwed

Roy Keane — Sun, 10 Dec 2006 18:40:19 EST

Ronaldo, for all of his flopping, is a hell of a player. So are Drogba and Robben, the other two worst offenders in the league.

Flopping is rewarded, so players flop. Same thing in the NBA...the flailing arms, the cry out in pain...it's the same thing.

They can't have video review during the game...that would just suck.

But they can review games on tape. They should hand out after-the-fact suspensions for all non-contact flopping evident in the broadcast. The games are all on tape...it would be easy to do.

Whatever they do, it has to stop. It killed the World Cup (see "England v. Portugal"), and it's hurting the game in Europe. When players have to pay the price for flopping (yeah, they're supposed to be carded now, but it doesn't ever happen), the trend will slowly die away.

They everyone can go back to complaining about the lack of goals.

Roy Keane

I'm Sorry, Goalie, But You Are Screwed

Krowser — Sun, 10 Dec 2006 18:10:31 EST

Well when in doubt, you can always purchase the following toy for purse/diving/crying lady himself.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6DGKN1Serfo

Krowser

I'm Sorry, Goalie, But You Are Screwed

Spectator — Sun, 10 Dec 2006 18:00:07 EST

Oh, and as for "soccer isn't gay," Christiano Ronaldo isn't helping either.

Spectator

I'm Sorry, Goalie, But You Are Screwed

Irish — Sun, 10 Dec 2006 17:57:45 EST

what a goal!
rare enough to score from 50 yards; rarer still on the volley. impressive.

but not as impressive as united! hard to say that i'm pleased for arse, but i do appreciate chelski dropping points.

and i will also appreciate a more clinical finish as well, come january first and mr. larsson. we should've had a bushel yesterday.

Irish

I'm Sorry, Goalie, But You Are Screwed

Spectator — Sun, 10 Dec 2006 17:56:24 EST

If I had more than 5 minutes of free time a week I'd suggest that we spin off a soccer site a la those Kissing Suzy Kolbert peeps.

For a few minutes, I really thought Arsenal had that game won. But what can you say... That Essien strike was really fantastic. Arsenal were lucky to get the draw, though, if it weren't for the woodwork.

Spectator

I'm Sorry, Goalie, But You Are Screwed

all hail blue and gold — Sun, 10 Dec 2006 17:33:54 EST

Greetings soccer deadspinners, I come in peace.

all hail blue and gold

I'm Sorry, Goalie, But You Are Screwed

Michael Pemulis — Sun, 10 Dec 2006 17:27:32 EST

What's almost more impressive than that goal is Pompey's play in general. I watched that game this weekend and damn, they look good. Very good. If they can keep their confidence up all season long they're going to make the Champions League.

Michael Pemulis

I'm Sorry, Goalie, But You Are Screwed

highlifer — Sun, 10 Dec 2006 17:27:17 EST

Oops, that's two posts about hair in a row. That's not gonna help our "soccer isn't gay" argument.

highlifer

I'm Sorry, Goalie, But You Are Screwed

highlifer — Sun, 10 Dec 2006 17:26:31 EST

Agreed, impressive. Essien, also impressive (a win would have been better to knock Arsenal down further away from the Reds - sorry Hirshey.)

The most impressive form of the weekend came from Liverpool's Mark Gonzalez' fauxhauk, which never drooped even in a constant rain/hailstorm. Cheers! And what do you use for that?

highlifer

I'm Sorry, Goalie, But You Are Screwed

being_sven — Sun, 10 Dec 2006 17:05:21 EST

I've grown superbly tired of watching John Terry run after the referee after each and every call that goes against Chelsea.

John, shut the f**k up, leave the whining to Drogba and Robben, and stop cutting your own hair. You make enough money -- treat yourself to SuperCuts.

being_sven

I'm Sorry, Goalie, But You Are Screwed

Baudolino — Sun, 10 Dec 2006 16:53:15 EST

Hey, if Basil Fawlty can call himself European then so can some Pompey football player.

Thanks for the geography lesson though, but I think my point was clear.

Baudolino

I'm Sorry, Goalie, But You Are Screwed

Lady Andrea — Sun, 10 Dec 2006 16:53:09 EST

BTO, if you've got 5 minutes and want to read about my day in Germany, here's the link:

http://andie203.livejournal.com/2006/07/05/

Lady Andrea

I'm Sorry, Goalie, But You Are Screwed

TheElectricZarko — Sun, 10 Dec 2006 16:43:16 EST

Baudolino - "The Continent" usually means continental Europe, meaning minus the British Isles, which is where the goal was scored.

UM - Yeah, it's a good point that Robben seems to do better as a sub with his pace and dribbling ability, it just seems like the "narrow diamond" 442 that Chelsea is playing is not as effective as the 451/433 formation that they were playing last year. It could just be an issue of getting the new guys up to speed though.

TheElectricZarko

I'm Sorry, Goalie, But You Are Screwed

Unsilent Majority — Sun, 10 Dec 2006 16:35:45 EST

Roy, Robben has had a few matches where he's faded down the stretch. No sub can come in and do what he's able to late in the game so I don't mind seeing him come off the bench from time to time.

Drogba's still great but I've got a man-crush on Essien.

Unsilent Majority

I'm Sorry, Goalie, But You Are Screwed

BigTenObsession — Sun, 10 Dec 2006 16:34:49 EST

Andie - I now hate you for having been able to go to the Germany-Italy world cup tilt. Ok, not really, but I am damn jealous!

BigTenObsession

I'm Sorry, Goalie, But You Are Screwed

BigTenObsession — Sun, 10 Dec 2006 16:32:40 EST

Robben definitely needs to start more often.

As for Drogba, he is a diving sack of crap, but I think he deserved a PK there (and this from an Arsenal fan). After the initial foul, though, both he and Lehmann flopped like a punch of Seymours.

And speaking of Seymours, I really hope that Toure and Gallas come back soon, since Senderoos is a sack of shite back there.

BigTenObsession

I'm Sorry, Goalie, But You Are Screwed

Baudolino — Sun, 10 Dec 2006 16:30:58 EST

Whoa! Stunning athletic achievement that requires a skill which few people in the world have. That's amaz....what? It's from the Continent? Boo! Boo soccer and its un-Americanfootballness.

Baudolino

I'm Sorry, Goalie, But You Are Screwed

JB* — Sun, 10 Dec 2006 16:24:33 EST

Not even a pause to set himself up, just connected with the ball off the ground, mid-pass... quite impressive.

JB*

I'm Sorry, Goalie, But You Are Screwed

TheElectricZarko — Sun, 10 Dec 2006 16:10:25 EST

Boof! Eat my goal!

And yeah, Robben was great today,if Chelsea dropped Sheva and Ballack and played Robben and Joe Cole, hey, that would be a pretty nice lineup.

Actually, I would almost consider sitting Fat Frank for Ballack at this point. Lampard just isn't the same player so far this year and it could be that he hasn't gotten a rest for over a year.

TheElectricZarko

I'm Sorry, Goalie, But You Are Screwed

Lady Andrea — Sun, 10 Dec 2006 16:09:48 EST

That was a pretty amazing shot. I have to say, up until I spent this past summer in London, I hated soccer. But being in Europe for the World Cup was amazing. Soccer is actually pretty fun to watch, once you sit down and become familiar with all the rules and whatnot. I got to attend the German-Italy semi-final in Dortmund and it was definitely one of the top 3 sporting events I've ever been to.

Lady Andrea

I'm Sorry, Goalie, But You Are Screwed

dan — Sun, 10 Dec 2006 16:04:12 EST

That was liquid football. He must have a foot like a traction engine.

dan

I'm Sorry, Goalie, But You Are Screwed

Roy Keane — Sun, 10 Dec 2006 16:04:03 EST

By the way...

1) Jens Lehmann is an attention whore. And he's a whiny bitch.

2) Drogba is a diving sack of crap.

3) Robben had more impact on that game as a sub than most of the 22 starters. How he doesn't get the start every game is a complete mystery.

Roy Keane

I'm Sorry, Goalie, But You Are Screwed

Cardillo — Sun, 10 Dec 2006 16:00:43 EST

yeah. good point zarko.

i was stuck with two duds of NFL games today (Gints/Panthers; Phins/Pats) and there seemed to be a lot more male-on-male contact in one play than in the entire chelski/arsenal match.

but whatever. people don't know what they're missing.

Cardillo

I'm Sorry, Goalie, But You Are Screwed

Roy Keane — Sun, 10 Dec 2006 16:00:39 EST

T-dawg

zzzzzzzz....

a resounding who cares.

You managed to author a five-word post in which you made at least four grammatical errors. Well done, sir.

Roy Keane

I'm Sorry, Goalie, But You Are Screwed

Critic — Sun, 10 Dec 2006 15:46:37 EST

This is exciting. Why do the women look like men? Oh...this is a men's league! Damn.

Critic

I'm Sorry, Goalie, But You Are Screwed

TheElectricZarko — Sun, 10 Dec 2006 15:43:00 EST

Good weekend for blazing shots with that, Essien's bomb against the Gooners (scorched Hirshey's ass hairs with that one) and Ledesma hitting an absolute corker in the first half of the Lazio-Roma derby.

And it's fun to see that ingrained soccer-hate can completely overwhelm any sort of rational thought. It's like a reptilian front-brain, a soccer player could swallow the ball whole and some people would take the time to type out "yawn" on Deadspin just to make sure we all know they're functionally retarded.

TheElectricZarko

I'm Sorry, Goalie, But You Are Screwed

Cardillo — Sun, 10 Dec 2006 15:30:42 EST

at least Howard's tourrette's didn't get the better of him. (cheap shot, sorry.)

if anyone really cares, i'll say essien's strike vs. arsenal was more impressive considering the magnitude of the game.

any chance we can import one or two of this english announcing blokes and get them to replace joe buck and Co.

later.

Cardillo

I'm Sorry, Goalie, But You Are Screwed

TattooedMess(iah) — Sun, 10 Dec 2006 15:25:13 EST

What's that I hear? It's a round of indifference!

But honestly, that was impressive. Respek.

TattooedMess(iah)

I'm Sorry, Goalie, But You Are Screwed

T-dawg — Sun, 10 Dec 2006 15:22:37 EST

zzzzzzzz....

a resounding who cares.

T-dawg