<![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass - Deadspin Comments]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass - Deadspin Comments]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> I wore glasses from the age of about 6 until I finished sixth grade. My list of sports injuries is mostly related to the glasses (and poor vision/depth perception):
- Second grade (baseball): my coach threw me the ball when I wasn't paying attention and it hit me in the left temple. glasses lens shattered and cut my temple, caused bleeding for about two hours (my parents weren't at the game, so they wouldn't give me stitches without permission).
- Sixth grade (baseball): misjudged a relay throw from the outfield and it bounced off my glove, hitting me in the right temple, breaking my glasses and causing some bleeding, but not nearly as traumatic as the earlier incident.

Related: My eyebrows are pretty thin on the outer edges, but atleast they match.

Beyond that:
- Kindergarten: my neighbor got a new baseball bat and wanted to show it off, I got hit in the forehead when he was demonstrating his hitting prowess.
- I was a (soccer) goalkeeper through high school and suffered a few concussions coming off my line and taking the ball off peoples' feet. The best one was when my coach was demonstrating a drill and I took his knee to my face and broke my nose and chipped a couple teeth. (I'm sure none of that can be taken out of context.)

I also probably had more than a couple concussions between soccer and basketball, to go with the chipped teeth and broken noses - nothing major, according to Dr. Belichick.

I am Will's smirking revenge

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> Actually, I think there are some who would argue that I don't know anything about sports, but that's usually just me being off-topic.

You're an attractive girl who likes sports, mostly we're just stunned you exist.

Corrected.

I am Will's smirking revenge

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> I once got a black eye from a softball to my face. Off my own bat. I'm such a spaz. I seriously wonder how I don't hurt myself more often.

Metschick

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> * posh, not post

josereyes.theroof wishes to perform Tim Harris's sack-dance for you

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> There's this, plus a claimant to the title of "(The) Balls", right here, in Milwaukee. I was driving up Summit Ave. on the post East-side, when I viewed the vanity tag on a parked car: BALLZZ.

josereyes.theroof wishes to perform Tim Harris's sack-dance for you

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> The real kicker was that the other person was my dad.

Was he a Grammatica?

twoeightnine

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> I broke my leg playing soccer in 7th grade. Compound fracture about a half inch above the ankle. I had planted my foot on the ground to strike the ball with my other foot and somebody's leg went over my foot. I ended up falling forward while my foot stayed firmly planted in the ground.

The real kicker was that the other person was my dad.

The Fan’s Attic

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> oh yah

NDEddieMac

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> A few saying how if a Tom Jones song comes on, Stu is going to break out the "Carlton"

BabaOje

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> I'm too lazy to read 154 comments, but has anyone made any Carlton Banks jokes yet?

Lizabelle

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> left?

NDEddieMac

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> right

jesuspunchesallpunks

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> right

jesuspunchesallpunks

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> right right

jesuspunchesallpunks

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> Ruptured spleen playing whiffle ball, but stayed into finish the game. 3 innings of shutout ball and 2 doubles. The ambulance then showed up to take me to the hospital for a week.

BabaOje

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> Ha, thanks aces. While I'm dreading it I am looking forward to the ability to make money once the 3 years end. I dont really have much other choice because outside of some broadcast experience I have no marketable skills, and I dont wanna go straight into sports radio cause I dont really wanna be poor.

NDEddieMac

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> Apropos of nothing in particular, the new Rolling Rock ads are fucking hilarious. Much better than anything during XLI.

Philistine

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> While not a story about an injury of mine I feel it fits in with the other tales of torture and pain. Although not the one about the incident going into 3rd base.

When I was 12 I had a break away in soccer and kid tried to run up from behind and stop me. So I took my arm and just pushed him forward to get him out of my way. The kid goes in the post running full speed and goes down screaming in pain. At this I'm already doing what any respectable soccer player does after scoring a goal, running around with my jersey around my face with my arm imitating airplane wings.

All the parents were now glaring at me because this kid was in a severe amount of pain. He was taken off on a stretcher which seemed like a bad injury because I never saw him again.

I scored 2 more goals after the game started up again.

Len Bias Cocaine Surplus

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> I once hurt My finger sliding into third base. She said I was going too fast and bent it back. My later attempts were much much better.

Satyr Icon

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> I was knocked unconscious by a line drive to the temple in the 5th grade. Came back to pitch again the next day because I didn't use up all of my innings. Still had seam marks on the side of my head until a couple of years ago.

twoeightnine

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> Come out and get it AJ. Come out and get your whuppin'!

Evander Holyfield

Tyler Durden

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> NUEddie-

Congrats on getting into law school, but there is still time to rethink your decision. Prepare for three years of what is the equivalent of punching yourself in the face! (Such as, studying obscure, ancient law texts.)

But if you don't mind self-flagellation, then law school is for you!

blackaces

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> I was at the net trying to stop the smashed ball at me and it missed the racket and hit me in the face.
My eyeball was bleeding internally and I couldn't see anything clear for a week, but my vision came back and I never did get the urge to say BOO-YA or the Iladelph.

tater

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> AJ: Cool as the other side of the pillow
Stu: Pissed as the other side of the kid's bedsheets

Death, taxes and +1 to Suss.

Doxidan, Gentle Doxidan

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> Andrea...

two ways to look at it. One way - I was like the professor from Cocktail in that I was hiding in school because I couldn't hack it in the real world... or the other way being that the job market sucked and I was better off going back to school to improve my resume and try for a better "post-school" job (which, by the way, worked). I was only in the "real world" for a year before I returned for the LLM.

grungedave

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> wait, wait, wait...

Stu Scott is married? fo' real? i thought he was, like, divorced. seriously...

hmmmmm, that kinda changes things. i mean, on the one hand, i kinda feel bad for being a part of outting him trying to pull some late night miami poo-nahnnynahnny. but on the other hand, i kinda dont feel all that bad if homeboy was, in fact, out cheating. hmmmmmmmm, i guess its a good thing i have chosen a profession where such moral decisions are not required of me.

ltwinslow

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> grungedave, just out of curiosity, why did you get an LLM?

Lady Andrea

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> Afflict the comfortable and comfort the afflicted. Since Stu Scott makes zillions inflicting his suburb-safe hip-hop bullshit on my ears, it is both a comfort to me and an affliction to him to see this story on the eBays. AJ Daulerio = Sports Journalist of the Year.

Doxidan, Gentle Doxidan

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> ah, Eddie Mac is hitting up all the Texas schools...

anyways I went to SMU for the JD and got an LLM from U.H... but that seems like a long time ago now!

grungedave

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> Tater,

Got hit once in the nuts by a tennis serve. Some ass was practicing his serve on the other side of the net while I was using the ball-picker-upper on the other side. Needless to say When I opened my teary eyes I was surrounded by the tennis ball that had rolled out. Quite painful, thankfully neither of my balls stares off or leans the wrong direction.

BigRicks

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> unless Scott Van Pelt has transformed to a black attorney.

A boy can hope, can't he?

Tuffy

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> I took a tennis ball in the eye once, but that story isn't as funny or graphic as a football in the eye or the groin.

tater

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> I'll take the 'stache for the KO. Seventh round.

BabaOje

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> Not sure yet grungedave. So far I'm into U of Houston, St. Mary's in San Antonio and Texas Tech, wating on SMU and UT. I'm hopin to go to UT(from Austin) but who knows. All I know is that I'm in making it much easier to go to the bars instead of doin work

NDEddieMac

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> Throw a cake on his back, Stu!

Craigbob

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> NEEddieMac - which law school in Texas are you going to attend?

grungedave

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> Bring him on, I can take that weak moustache. I wouldn't even break a 'stace sweat.

dk

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> Sorry to hear that Andie. I was just curious as to whether ND's softball team travels to UVA for the law school tournament.

Riddler

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> Yah, I think he was going for the easy innuendos, not worried about possible recurring pain.

NDEddieMac

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> "If we all hung out? Like, at Buffalo Wild Wings? She can come along."


.....ladies

Nacho Friendly

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> wonder what eye surgery he had before? I'm guessing he need the splooge cleaned out after being a willing participant in the Carolina Tar Heel Alumni Basketball Bukkake.

HugsFromHarold

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> It's still bothering me, WLUN. Totally sucks, it's hard to sleep, work-out, etc etc.

Lady Andrea

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> "hurt my back" and had trouble "walking around."

Ouch, that one is going to come back and hurt, Andie.

Will Leitchs Unfinished Novel

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> I was going to play this past fall in the co-ed baseball league, but I hurt my back in October and had trouble even walking around for a few months.

Lady Andrea

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> Andie,

Are you on the ND law school softball squad? (ND Law does have a softball squad, right?)

Riddler

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> Riddler = Scott Van Pelt?

Nice try, but not even close...unless Scott Van Pelt has transformed to a black attorney. Riddler = someone who spent one summer 11 years ago interning at WWL.

Riddler

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> Bowden(x3) - I don't think Stu took me to Outback. To be honest, at the time I was in Bristol, I don't think they had Outback (or much else). Even if they did have an Outback, Stu wouldn't have taken us interns there. That would have been an infiltration of Harold's terf. (And I must say that I was not at all surprised to hear about what happened with Harold Reynolds.)

Riddler

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> "If we all hung out? Like, at Buffalo Wild Wings? She can come along."

Oh, of course. I was just playing the Reverse Stu, but didn't pull it off.

Sid Bream Was Out

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> Yah, very little time left here in the Bend, i'm headin back to Texas for law school as well. and Blackaces, now you know why Stu is so ornery these days

NDEddieMac

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> Good thing it was just a JUGS machine. Can you imagine if Pennington's rocket arm was throwing?

PTPers10

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> The illustrious Turtle Creek, nice. You must be a senior. Sid Bream and I are law students.

Lady Andrea

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> BDoc, I see that fight going down like the Anchorman rumble. And then John Salley and Tom Arnold could inexplicably show up ala the spanish news channel. And then nibbles throws a trident through somebody, itd be fun for the whole family

NDEddieMac

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> I hope you people know that all this talk is just making Stu Scott's wife more famous.

SagerBombs

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> Yah, luckily I'm at TC so i have heating that doesnt make your room explode. I thin SBWO may be mad at me tho for earlier reminding him that Sid Bream was in fact, altho Nibbles may have eaten that post

NDEddieMac

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> If we all hung out? Like, at Buffalo Wild Wings? She can come along.

Lady Andrea

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> "Stuart Scott didn't achieve what he set out to do, but people watched him."

frostillicus

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> My wife wouldn't be cool with that.

Sid Bream Was Out

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> Damn, maybe AJ is on the run. Guess it's up to us Deadspinners to hide him when the ESPN Assassinating Sports Squad(ESPNASS) comes looking.

Looks like the Underground Railroad has taken on a whole new meaning.

BDoc

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> Andrea, NDEddie-

I'm not far west of you guys, over in Chicago. I think my face froze and fell off somewhere back near Michigan Avenue. I need to go find it. It's hard to study for the bar when you have no face. You can't see!

blackaces

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> Sorry, I just threw Clayton in for effect. Not sure Clayton could get laid in a whorehouse with a fistful of $50s.

Ahh, who am I kidding. He is on ESPN; his contract mandates that he get all of Salisbury's sloppy seconds.

Will Leitchs Unfinished Novel

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> You're here right now at ND? There's another commenter who is too, Sid Bream Was Out. We should all hang out! And yeah, it's fucking freezing. I hate the old dorms!

Lady Andrea

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> Andie,

Maybe the correct syntax would have helped. My furnace crapped out last night, I got three hours of sleep, and when I woke up the temperature IN MY FUCKING HOUSE was 30 degrees. Brain still frozen. No make joke good and funny.

Sarcastro

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> Looks like Stu's giving his best, "Lemme Know," pose.

Abe Vigoda, Space Chimp

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> So did we get to the bottom of that? Is Clayton bumpin around 24/7 with a colostomy bag or not? I mean, perhaps it's none of my business, but I feel like I need to know.

JebusHChrist

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> Andrea, yup, you enjoying this -15 degree windchill, i know i am...fucking midwest

NDEddieMac

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> Sarcastro, I'm not exactly sure what you're saying but....RIGHT ON!

NDEddieMac, another domer! Woo!

Lady Andrea

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> It was pretty good. Anthony Bourdain even ended up busting his ass just trying to stand up in skates.

Last night's t.v. watching was as good as it'll be all week. Prison Break, Heroes, and No Reservations. Not a bad lineup.

TattooedMess(iah)

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> Derby Girls eh? Glad I dvr'd that now.

SagerBombs

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> Goin back to the Sports Night quoting i missed the other day:
Dan: You know I was this close to being drafted as a wide receiver.
Casey: Really? What happened?
Dan: I... never actually played organized ball. And even if I had, I wasn't fast enough to be a wide receiver.
Casey: But other than that...
Dan: This close, my friend.

NDEddieMac

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> Fucking Nibbles. If it wouldn't have take several attempts to get my shit posted, I could be priding myself on spreading the word.

Priding myself...Ladies.

Analrapist

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> Oh, sorry, Mrs. Scott. I am sure this is just a vicious, unsubstantiated rumor, like with Dan, Sean, Berman, Clayton

Clayton? When?

Kid Canada

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> Andie,

That last bit's what not what I told Mrs. Sarcastro and Berman.

Sarcastro

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> I don't know if Reche's are better than Stuey's, but I will say they are both on the Mt. Rushmore of fucked up eyes.

JebusHChrist

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> Dammit! TM, I meant to watch that and forgot!

Jen P

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> Don't hurt us, Jen. They had a segment on Derby Girls last night on No Reservations. I know what you're capable of.

TattooedMess(iah)

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> John Amechi thinks there needs to be a Snickers bar strategically placed between those two pictures.

Bunkie Perkins

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> Ah, Reche Caldwell ... a man whose eyes are even more entertaining than Stu's.

Jen P

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> Fuck, if it wasn't for the whole "catching footballs" thing, Stu would have made the Jets.

Commence Reche Caldwell jokes in 3..2..1..

Will Leitchs Unfinished Novel

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> I also like how "Patch" isn't denying his attempted tryst, but rather, he's pissed that AJ spread the word. Nice.

JebusHChrist

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> Riddler = Scott Van Pelt?

ILovePaleHoseandPaleHos

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> I pride myself on spreading the word.

KOGOD

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> Balls flying at Stu's face?

Well, there goes his social life...


...ladies

BigRicks

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> Dude, I totally put that joke in there on purpose.

Jen P

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> I'll do it: Well Jen P, there goes your social life.

And Lt. Exley, I kind of agree. We don't know he was actually setting up something lascivious. He probably was, but we don't know that.

However, if it IS true that he was, then his anger towards AJ is pretty disgusting because YOU SHOULDN'T CHEAT ON YOUR WIFE!

Lady Andrea

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> Since Disney owns ESPN, does this mean that Stu Scott will be rocking an eyepatch to promote "Pirates of the Caribbean 3?"

PQ Crash

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> There's a good backstory to it as basically Scott was playing George Plimpton. This was made all the more delicious by the fact that this clown who never played college ball thought he was borderline NFL talent.

The following is from an interview with the Charlotte Observer (sorry about the length but worth the read).

Q. Back in the spring, you sustained a severe eye injury while filming a story about football minicamps with the Jets. Tell us what happened.

I had gotten in shape and (Jets coach) Herman Edwards gave me permission to go to minicamp with them. I was doing a feature for ESPN on what it's like to be in minicamp. But I was serious about it.

The day I was there, there were eight wideouts and the wide receiver coach said I was rated number six. I didn't have any delusions of grandeur. I was hoping I'd be good enough to be a scrub wide receiver or a practice wide receiver in the NFL. I found that out that day. I didn't disappoint myself and I didn't embarrass myself.

At end of practice all the wideouts went to the Jugs Machine, it's a machine that shoots balls out. I had never done that before. I had been catching everything that day in practice from the quarterbacks. I was probably a little close and the thing was fast and the thing was faster than I thought it was.

Q. The ball, coming out of the machine, hit you square in the left eye. How bad was it?

It was serious. I had emergency surgery that night and was out of work for a couple months. It was tough. I had some eye surgery before so I knew how severe it was. It was probably more scary that day, not knowing. The next day came and I knew it would be a long recovery back. I still need some more surgery. The eye is not great now. But I had some time off.

Michael Bertin

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> Seriously? That's why Stuey's cock-eyed? A Jug's gun? Awesome. I am so glad I didn't do 1 shred of work all day today. That made it all worth it.

JebusHChrist

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> The whole "balls flying at the face" thing can be tough.

you did that on purpose, right?

SagerBombs

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> Actually, I think there are some who would argue that I don't know anything about sports, but that's usually just me being off-topic.

You're an attractive girl who likes sports, mostly we're just stunned you to talk to us.

Hank Scorpio-Steinbrenner

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> The whole "balls flying at the face" thing can be tough.

Resisting...urge...to make...bad joke.

TattooedMess(iah)

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> I'm about to call Pookey and Re-Re and tell them Stu reads me on Deadspin. My ken-folk be so proud...

DannyNoonan

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> Tuffy +1 - whether the double entendre was intentional or not.

ILovePaleHoseandPaleHos

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> and was apparently holding his own with a handful of Jet hopefulls until that fucker came out of nowhere

It sounds dirty when you write it that way.

claude balls

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> Oh my word... Look at those pictures folks... Seriously, look!

Not one Miami Vice related crack yet... I'm so disappointed.

drew.catt

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> Well, now I kinda feel bad for Stu and his crazy eye. Because I still have a scar on my chin from a game of Pickle at the bus stop in seventh grade. The whole "balls flying at the face" thing can be tough.

Jen P

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> Riddler - he didn't take you to Outback, did he?

BowdenBowdenBowden

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> I for one would love to see this fight. But youd think...aside from that whole being married thing, that Stumanji would be gettin a lil cred for possibly hooking up with that girl. Oh well, I say they have a pirate fight, eyepatches and swords for all. And Sid Bream was safe baby

NDEddieMac

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> While Scott did not achieve what he had set out to do (score cheerleader pussy), people watched him.

Drew Magary

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> Ya know, it'd be a lot harder for people to read the text messages on your phone if you just held it in front of your face, Stu.

Oh, wait... My bad.

Miracle of '04

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> Wait, Stuart doesn't like getting hit by a Jugs machine? I thought that is what he was texting the Bronco cheerleader for.

Oh, sorry, Mrs. Scott. I am sure this is just a vicious, unsubstantiated rumor, like with Dan, Sean, Berman, Clayton.

Will Leitchs Unfinished Novel

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> it happened years ago, he was doing a "tryout" with the team and he decided to take it very seriously. he got into shape and was apparently holding his own with a handful of Jet hopefulls until that fucker came out of nowhere.

KOGOD

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> Am I the only one the least bit uncomfortable with our Super Bowl correspondents eavesdropping covertly on Stu's text messages? It's one thing to trash these people for their douchey on-air personas, it's kind of another to stalk them and accuse them of plotting infidelity with the thinnest bits of evidence. Just saying...

Lt. Exley

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> I love that picture of Stuey. He looks like he's just about to bust out "The Carlton".

My fraternal loyalty (and the fact that the man took me to lunch twice) keeps me from making fun of Stuart, who like many politicians comes across differently on TV than he does in real life. HOWEVA!!!! , thinking of Stuart doing a Carlton Banks dance to Tom Jones is pretty darn funny.

I'll just step back and take in all of your comments, many of which have been quite funny.

Riddler

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> Stu makes A.J. look like Malcom X.

Happy Black History Month, everybody!

SagerBombs

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> Anal, I didn't know that either. But....I play the Girl Card on this one. Girls don't know stuff about sports, right?

Actually, I think there are some who would argue that I don't know anything about sports, but that's usually just me being off-topic. I'll shut up now.

Lady Andrea

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> Yeah, UM. Somehow I just realized that I never actually looked into how he got his lazy eye...trying to catch a ball out of the jugs machine. That makes it 10 times funnier.

Analrapist

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> I'll take the balls and the spread.

Tuffy

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> I smell a rat. No one fears Stuart Scott, so why would AJ be afraid if he heard that Scott wanted to kick his ass? He wouldn't. In fact, had he heard about it, AJ probably would have showed up so that he could kick Scott's ass and write about it on Deadspin.

And that was the plan. AJ shows up, calls out Stuart Scott, they retire to a back room and, voila, Sean Salisbury pops out to take his revenge. "I said I didn't want it showing up on the Internet!!!!!"

Cunning bastards, those ESPN fuckers.

claude balls

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> Wall-eye notwithstanding, I have a hard time believing Stuey couldn't have tracked down AJ if he really wanted to this weekend. I think Stuey is a pussy who would rather talk smack than deliver it.

JebusHChrist

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> 2 things.

1. Google immediately suggested Stuart Scott eye as a possible search term.

2. Stuart Scott's eye is due to getting "accidentally" drilled by the Jugs machine at a New York Jets practice? How did I not know that? Do I lose my commenter status for not knowing that?

Analrapist

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> Andre Rison has AJ's back.

Kid Canada

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> anal- wow. but he's not asian, he just took football to the eye

KOGOD

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> AJ: Cool as the other side of the pillow
Stu: Pissed as the other side of the kid's bedsheets

Matt Sussman

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> HATER IN THE HOUSE!

Sorry.

ArkansasFred

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> is that pic from his cameo on "livin' single"?

Triple B

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> Mowtown Stuart back again!
Put a little East Coast Swing!

Charles

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> Does Stuart Scott possess time traveling abilities like Frank from Donnie Darko?

Denis Lemieux

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> Preciousroy-

Yes, that will most certainly get you a medal. I think Michael Brown from FEMA alo got one for the heck of a job in the wake of the Katrina Disaster.

blackaces

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> Sid Bream Was Out...great commenter name, but we disagree on the premise.

O.D.B. McDowell

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> Are the SI guys leaving to join The National?

GorgeForeman

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> So that is why AJ shaved the 'stache.

Fire JayPa

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> Man I miss Dream Job.

JebusHChrist

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> Is that Bell, Biv, or Devoe?

(sorry if this posts 3 or 4 times, nibbles doesnt like me today)

Kung Fu Cantona

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> What I find so awesome about this stuff is that ESPN people actually give two shits about what goes on over here at Deadspin. Do you suppose they check this site themselves or do they have people to do that for them? And how do I get the job of Deadspin-checker over at ESPN? That'd really be my first step to taking over Erin Andrews's job, I think.

Lady Andrea

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> So, when does Dan Patrick threaten AJ's life, or doesn't his wife read Deadspin?

Run Up The Score

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> Do you think people fron ESPN read this stuff just laugh at their co-workers?

bizzo5000

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> Blackaces: I thought you had to fuck up a war to get one of those these days.

[/Politics]

Michael Bertin

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> Right now there is some low-level staffer in Bristol, sick and tired of being shit on by Stu Scott on a daily basis, laughing uncontrollably. To themselves.

Will Leitchs Unfinished Novel

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> If Stu had found us while we were covorting across Miami Beach on Saturday night, I feel confident that he would have been repelled by a combo of AJ's Stache Ash, Winslow's random yelling at people with luxury rental cars, and the stunning lack of movement in any and all traffic, both vehicular and foot.

Reasonable Doubt for a Reasonable Price

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> sorry, not Grunge, but ChopperDave's comment...

THE hoi polloi

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> UM,

Really? You don't know about Cosmetic Blepharoplasty for the
Asian Eyelid? I imagine it would work on whatever the fuck is wrong with Stuart Scott. Or at least his eyes.

Analrapist

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> Stu's entitled to have a wife and a mistress. One for each eye!

blackaces

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> Not to pile on GrungeDave's comment, but Stu really does look like he should be on the cover of the "20th Century Masters: Guy" album... No offense to Guy...

THE hoi polloi

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> Stu wants to inappropriately hug AJ.

Sid Bream Was Out

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> "I got great ideas but they look at me and they see a loser...Except the guy with the lazy eye, he sees a loser and a snack machine."

chopper dave

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> "I will smash your face into a car windshield, and then take your mother Mrs. Daulerio out for a nice seafood dinner and never call her again!"

44 in a Row

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> Stu just wants revenge, you know, an eye for an eye…But seriously, he just wants a new eye.

Summer-of-George

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> Precious Roy, that would be Proverbial. Can we nominate him for the Medal of Freedom?

blackaces

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> does this make AJ the Fresh Prince?

Nope. His ears aren't big enough.

Robert Barone’s Dog

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> If Stu Scott is Carlton does this make AJ the Fresh Prince?

In West Philadelphia, born and raised
On the playground is where I spent most of my days

Little Wooden Boy

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> Stu Scott ist nicht "the balls."

bigboneded

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> AJ should challenge him in a battle to the death.

Dueling JUGS Machine

KOGOD

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> This should be settled in Glendale next year.

"I got my eye on you, kid."

GorgeForeman

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> Stuart, your "come hither" look appears to be more gay than AJ's, and that's sayin' something there, Slappy.

apostles03

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> Daulerio was just living out his "Holler at a player when you see him in the street, or texting some late night ass" mantra.

TheDrizzle

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> Stu's just mad because The Balls got it wrong, and Stu was trying sending a pic of Lil Stu to a Bronco, not a cheerleader (just staying with the day's theme around here).

The Leonard Leap

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> I made that very same comment on her comment board, preciousroy. It got deleted.

Ron

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> Stu "Crazy Eye Killer" Scott is gonna put a beatdown on AJ.

Will Leitchs Unfinished Novel

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> Either Stu got that reverse-oriental eye surgery


uh...what?

KOGOD

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> bwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahaaaaaaaaaahaaaaaahahah...

ltwinslow

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> Hugs and SAVAGE BEATINGS everyone

WheelOfOrton

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> Stu's been looking for AJ, who has been standing RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIM the entire time.

quick

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> Nice pic of Stu back in his New Jack Swing days.

chopper dave

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> Did Jemele and Doyel spend all evening talking about Sex & The City characters?

and Stu, if you are going to bang a Broncos cheerleader DURING SUPER BOWL WEEK - you kinda have to expect to get caught. The Interwebs do not provide exceptions for cyclops.

grungedave

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> I'm stunned at Stu Scott.

Not because he wanted to get violent, but rather because he actually took time out of his daily sycophantic Athlete hero worship/dick sucking to even notice Daulerio existed.

blackaces

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> Oh, and I want to +1 again whoever made the 'Stuart Scott was seeing someone on the side' comment a few days ago.

Hi-lar-ious.

Michael Bertin

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> Having met AJ, I feel confident saying that he could take Stu one on one.

I kind of wish we would've run into ESPN personalities down there as a group, rather than just AJ seeing Salisbury walking towards him on the sidewalk and ducking around a corner.

TattooedMess(iah)

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> Either Stu got that reverse-oriental eye surgery, or Will had some fun with photoshop this morning.

Analrapist

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> From Stuart Scott's Wiki page:

His interest include poetry, living on the edge, Def Leppard, singing in the rain, Johnny PayCheck 8-tracks, balling, shot-calling, and stomping the yard.

twoeightnine

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> precious, great call on sammy the bull. u of a wasn't the same after he went down.

KOGOD

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> How is it that Jamele Hill writes about nothing besides sex and race and still manages to never say anything remotely interesting?

Oh wait, I know the answer.

I bet AJ turns up as an X dealer in Arizona.

Michael Bertin

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> Bob Ueker should do the play-by-play for the Daulerio-Scott cage match.

BU: Here's Scott squaring up for a punch...oh a SWING AND A MISS. He better try and keep both eyes on Daulerio at all times.

BigRicks

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> As long as you stay to his left, Stu can't hit ya.

twoeightnine

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> Stu Scott clearly has a case of 'stache envy.

Ron

]]> <![CDATA[Stuart Scott Is Ready To Kick Some Mustache Ass]]> I love that picture of Stuey. He looks like he's just about to bust out "The Carlton".

JebusHChrist

]]>