Roger Clemens... Blah Blah Blah - Deadspin Comments

Roger Clemens... Blah Blah Blah

Jay-C — Mon, 19 Feb 2007 00:48:59 EST

I guess he's familiar with Carl Pavano's list of injuries if he's replacing people with stubbed toes...or sore butt cheeks...

Jay-C

Roger Clemens... Blah Blah Blah

Christ Sabo — Sat, 17 Feb 2007 17:27:20 EST

Apologies for the double post, amigos. First and last time.

Christ Sabo

Roger Clemens... Blah Blah Blah

GiselleBeardchen — Sat, 17 Feb 2007 16:35:31 EST

What, the Rockets boning Kenny Chesney now?

GiselleBeardchen

Roger Clemens... Blah Blah Blah

AndyReidsOtherSon — Sat, 17 Feb 2007 15:58:30 EST

So Roger Clemens has now officially become a booty call?

AndyReidsOtherSon

Roger Clemens... Blah Blah Blah

Arn Ziffel — Sat, 17 Feb 2007 15:54:45 EST

Is Clemens rockin' the denim nehru jacket as well as highlights? For the love of God.

Arn Ziffel

Roger Clemens... Blah Blah Blah

Doxidan, Gentle Doxidan — Sat, 17 Feb 2007 15:53:22 EST

Bananagrabber: Who said this was a major website? We're the underground.

Doxidan, Gentle Doxidan

Roger Clemens... Blah Blah Blah

The Fan’s Attic — Sat, 17 Feb 2007 15:53:08 EST

Sabo:

That was actually Willy Hayes.

The Fan’s Attic

Roger Clemens... Blah Blah Blah

Blackguard — Sat, 17 Feb 2007 15:50:43 EST

Some people just do not have the correct skull shape to sport the bald look.

Britney is one of those people.

Blackguard

Roger Clemens... Blah Blah Blah

The Great Barstoolio — Sat, 17 Feb 2007 15:42:09 EST

All in jest. I happen to love men who can play.

The Great Barstoolio

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Philistine — Sat, 17 Feb 2007 15:41:39 EST

Um, Sabo...

Once was probably too many for that one.

Philistine

Roger Clemens... Blah Blah Blah

Mr. Bananagrabber — Sat, 17 Feb 2007 15:39:55 EST

Hey, don't knock male volleyball players. We got to share the gym with the female volleyball players. And if I had gone to any other high school on the planet, that would have been great.

Mr. Bananagrabber

Roger Clemens... Blah Blah Blah

The Great Barstoolio — Sat, 17 Feb 2007 15:37:30 EST

I can't believe I fucking shared this story on a major website.

You also admitted to being a male volleyball player. Oh, I kid, I kid.

The Great Barstoolio

Roger Clemens... Blah Blah Blah

Christ Sabo — Sat, 17 Feb 2007 15:34:30 EST

This was on Perez Hilton site as well:

BRITNEY MAY BE BALD...BUT AT LEAST SHE DOESN'T HAVE NAPPY, SHEEPISH FUCKED UP HAIR LIKE THOSE PORCH -MONKEY, SPEAR CHUCKIN BLACK ANIMALS...I CAN'T EVEN CALL THEM PEOPLE BECAUSE OF THIER BEHAVIOR. AND AT LEAST SHE DOESN'T HAVE HERPES LIKE PARIS.
You stay classy, Perez Hilton.

Christ Sabo

Roger Clemens... Blah Blah Blah

Christ Sabo — Sat, 17 Feb 2007 15:33:12 EST

Also from the perez Hilton site, this comment:

Perhaps it was former Deadspin commenter tsetseFly?

Christ Sabo

Roger Clemens... Blah Blah Blah

ScottVanPeltIsMyHero — Sat, 17 Feb 2007 15:32:50 EST

Shit.

ScottVanPeltIsMyHero

Roger Clemens... Blah Blah Blah

Mr. Bananagrabber — Sat, 17 Feb 2007 15:32:09 EST

Barstoolio, I have also had Icy Hot put in my boxers at volleyball camp (does this happen at all volleyball camps?) and my suit before swim practice, but let me tell you, nothing compares to having it massaged into the skin... I can't believe I fucking shared this story on a major website.

Mr. Bananagrabber

Roger Clemens... Blah Blah Blah

Christ Sabo — Sat, 17 Feb 2007 15:31:51 EST

Wow, also on that Perez Hilton site is this comment:

Christ Sabo

Roger Clemens... Blah Blah Blah

The Fan’s Attic — Sat, 17 Feb 2007 15:31:07 EST

Chill:

That is truly disturbing. She definitely has an ugly looking dome. It's kinda Sam Cassell shaped.

The Fan’s Attic

Roger Clemens... Blah Blah Blah

Christ Sabo — Sat, 17 Feb 2007 15:30:10 EST

I'd definitely have intercourse with Bald Britney.

Christ Sabo

Roger Clemens... Blah Blah Blah

Christ Sabo — Sat, 17 Feb 2007 15:26:22 EST

I didn't know it was possible to receive a bad handjob, but I guess that would be painful.

Christ Sabo

Roger Clemens... Blah Blah Blah

Scott Chill — Sat, 17 Feb 2007 15:25:07 EST

Thiis post on Perez Hilton and the look in Britney's eyes absolutely give me chills. I'm trying to decide if they're douche chills or what, but they are definitely chills.

Scott Chill

Roger Clemens... Blah Blah Blah

The Great Barstoolio — Sat, 17 Feb 2007 15:23:29 EST

Banagrabber, the worst prank anyone ever played on me was at volleyball camp. Someone smeared icy hot on the toilet seats, and 5 minutes after using the restroom I was convinced I needed to visit the ER. We finally deduced from the minty smell that I did not, in fact, have flaming ass-skin disease. But it was terrifying.

The Great Barstoolio

Roger Clemens... Blah Blah Blah

Lady Andrea — Sat, 17 Feb 2007 15:22:43 EST

Where are my damn posts? Nibbles!

Lady Andrea

Roger Clemens... Blah Blah Blah

Lady Andrea — Sat, 17 Feb 2007 15:19:11 EST

SVP, I don't know if that warranted a ladies....

Lady Andrea

Roger Clemens... Blah Blah Blah

Doxidan, Gentle Doxidan — Sat, 17 Feb 2007 15:18:01 EST

Who is that twit standing next to Clemens? Did the Roid Rocket grab him and say, Hey, stand in this photo, make my neck look even fatter by comparison.

Fuck you Rocket. Go spend time with Koby, Kory, Kleagle, whomever, I'm glad you can devote so much time to your family. Shut the fuck up about it.

Doxidan, Gentle Doxidan

Roger Clemens... Blah Blah Blah

Lady Andrea — Sat, 17 Feb 2007 15:17:27 EST

Scott Chill, I saw that. Even though I'd say she snapped when she married a gross, unwashed homeless man and started popping out kids.

Lady Andrea

Roger Clemens... Blah Blah Blah

ScottVanPeltIsMyHero — Sat, 17 Feb 2007 15:16:31 EST

What ensued was the most memorable, and by most memorable I mean worst, handjob of my life.

...ladies.

ScottVanPeltIsMyHero

Roger Clemens... Blah Blah Blah

Philistine — Sat, 17 Feb 2007 15:16:08 EST

***BULLETIN***

The Feature Story on tomorrow night's '60 Minutes' is about Kenny F. Chesney. We will be expecting a live blog from DeadOn.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled program.

Philistine

Roger Clemens... Blah Blah Blah

Scott Chill — Sat, 17 Feb 2007 15:13:11 EST

Appropos of nothing: Britney Spears has apparently snapped!

Or was this already discussed and I missed it?

Scott Chill

Roger Clemens... Blah Blah Blah

Lady Andrea — Sat, 17 Feb 2007 15:12:18 EST

The Pat Tillman of Handjobs.....

That is Mr. Bananagrabber's new commenter name.

Lady Andrea

Roger Clemens... Blah Blah Blah

Len Bias Cocaine Surplus — Sat, 17 Feb 2007 15:10:09 EST

I'm afraid to ask why.

I think you became a hero for me by suffering through tragedy.

You are like Pat Tillman to me.

Len Bias Cocaine Surplus

Roger Clemens... Blah Blah Blah

The Leonard Leap — Sat, 17 Feb 2007 15:07:58 EST

So let me get this straight (no pun intended), he's semi-pregnant?

The Leonard Leap

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Mr. Bananagrabber — Sat, 17 Feb 2007 15:07:31 EST

I'm afraid to ask why.

Mr. Bananagrabber

Roger Clemens... Blah Blah Blah

Len Bias Cocaine Surplus — Sat, 17 Feb 2007 15:04:48 EST

Mr. Bananagrabber for some reason just became my hero

Len Bias Cocaine Surplus

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Mr. Bananagrabber — Sat, 17 Feb 2007 15:03:38 EST

Yeah, when thinking of potential commenter names I didn't realize how incredibly #### mine sounded until it was too late. Still, I find it just amusing enough to keep.

Mr. Bananagrabber

Roger Clemens... Blah Blah Blah

The Fan’s Attic — Sat, 17 Feb 2007 15:00:26 EST

Gasface:
Today is Paris Hilton's birthday.

I think Lorenzo Mata is as ugly as Paris Hilton's coochie.

The Fan’s Attic

Roger Clemens... Blah Blah Blah

Lady Andrea — Sat, 17 Feb 2007 14:59:11 EST

Yeouch. Is that why you became Mr. Bananagrabber? You won't let a female anywhere near it anymore, will you?

Lady Andrea

Roger Clemens... Blah Blah Blah

Mr. Bananagrabber — Sat, 17 Feb 2007 14:55:31 EST

Once in college, my girlfriend put some Icy Hot on her shoulder (she had recently hurt it rock climbing). Minutes later, I showed up, completely unaware of what had happened. What ensued was the most memorable, and by most memorable I mean worst, handjob of my life.

Mr. Bananagrabber

Roger Clemens... Blah Blah Blah

Sarge — Sat, 17 Feb 2007 14:51:38 EST

"stubs their toe...."

if this isn't a sure-fire sign he's replacing Kerry Wood, I don't know what is...

Sarge

Roger Clemens... Blah Blah Blah

Christ Sabo — Sat, 17 Feb 2007 14:51:32 EST

If by 'IcyHot' you mean the Cream, then yes. Fuck the Roidin' Rocket.

Christ Sabo

Roger Clemens... Blah Blah Blah

Gasface — Sat, 17 Feb 2007 14:47:16 EST

Great heading. I'm starting to feel the same way about Clemens news as I do about Paris Hilton news.

And taking nothing away from what he's done, but does anyone seriously think he's worth the money at this point for basically half a season?

Gasface

Roger Clemens... Blah Blah Blah

Len Bias Cocaine Surplus — Sat, 17 Feb 2007 14:45:59 EST

so if I hire a hitman to take out Matt Clement in May Roger Clemens will come to Boston?

Len Bias Cocaine Surplus

Roger Clemens... Blah Blah Blah

TheStarterWife — Sat, 17 Feb 2007 14:45:11 EST

I think his teammates should start wear Doc Martin's to spite him.

TheStarterWife

Roger Clemens... Blah Blah Blah

Doxidan, Gentle Doxidan — Sat, 17 Feb 2007 14:42:56 EST

Fuck. THe punchline, is, naturally, Just don't look.

Doxidan, Gentle Doxidan

Roger Clemens... Blah Blah Blah

Doxidan, Gentle Doxidan — Sat, 17 Feb 2007 14:42:12 EST

To stop those 'Roiders 1-2-3
Here's a fresh new way that's trouble free
It's got Paul Anka's guarantee...
Guarantee void in Tennessee!

Doxidan, Gentle Doxidan