Soon, Americans Will Lack The Need To Move - Deadspin Comments

Soon, Americans Will Lack The Need To Move

In Flagrante Delicto — Thu, 01 Mar 2007 11:13:07 EST

The George Bush model went sober and stopped throwing beers years ago, but has declared war on the toaster without asking the dishwasher for its permission.

In Flagrante Delicto

Soon, Americans Will Lack The Need To Move

BastardForce1 — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 21:39:15 EST

Since this was invented at Duke, and by looking at the guy in the video I'm betting it also features a self changing douche bag. Or was the guy himself the douche bag?

BastardForce1

Soon, Americans Will Lack The Need To Move

Rory B. Bellows — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 20:14:14 EST

The Peyton Manning version loads the beer and at the last second tells you to move to the other couch.

Rory B. Bellows

Soon, Americans Will Lack The Need To Move

Rickey_Fitts — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 17:31:41 EST

My birthday's tomorrow...
Just saying.
Oh and the Duke quarterback is Greg Paulus

Rickey_Fitts

Soon, Americans Will Lack The Need To Move

Footbaw — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 16:58:54 EST

I want a Theismann model. After it breaks its leg, it never leaves and just makes annoying noises for years.

Footbaw

Soon, Americans Will Lack The Need To Move

fynalcutDwiGuy — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 15:59:34 EST

Done in one take. (The camera just needs to cut away after each beer goes in.)

fynalcutDwiGuy

Soon, Americans Will Lack The Need To Move

Clare — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 15:58:53 EST

Andie, check yo' email.

Clare

Soon, Americans Will Lack The Need To Move

Lady Andrea — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 15:44:37 EST

No worries, I thought perhaps you blocked me. I don't have your email either, but it's not pressing.

Lady Andrea

Soon, Americans Will Lack The Need To Move

44 in a Row — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 15:40:22 EST

Beer?

44 in a Row

Soon, Americans Will Lack The Need To Move

Tuffy — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 15:32:09 EST

@Lady Andrea: I can't see it until late tonight due to technical reasons, L'Andrea. If it's more pressing, please send me an e-mail. Sorry!

Tuffy

Soon, Americans Will Lack The Need To Move

diddly — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 15:30:47 EST

I sent you an IM....

in bed.

diddly

Soon, Americans Will Lack The Need To Move

Lady Andrea — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 15:27:27 EST

@Tuffy: I sent you an IM....

Lady Andrea

Soon, Americans Will Lack The Need To Move

diddly — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 15:26:25 EST

what does this have to do with sports?

Beer.

diddly

Soon, Americans Will Lack The Need To Move

BabaOje — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 15:25:44 EST

These guys made a Kenny Rogers version first, but had to shut it down when they tried to video tape it in action

BabaOje

Soon, Americans Will Lack The Need To Move

wiskybreth — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 15:25:20 EST

I mean, I get it. Throw commenters a really easy one to pad some stats. But really, what does this have to do with sports?

wiskybreth

Soon, Americans Will Lack The Need To Move

Shop Smart, Shop S-Mart — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 15:23:52 EST

The Cubs model comes with three seperate robots. The first works great for the first month and then has to be repaired for years before being put into a subservient backup role. The second looks like it was designed by the entire brain mass of MIT but hates the black man with the remote control. The third is a little crazy and erratic, but just keeps throwing beers, with only a short break when it looks at too much internet porn.

Shop Smart, Shop S-Mart

Soon, Americans Will Lack The Need To Move

Len Bias Cocaine Surplus — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 15:22:55 EST

Buy now to go with your beer launcher.

The Stephen A Smith Cheez Doodle Cannon!

Len Bias Cocaine Surplus

Soon, Americans Will Lack The Need To Move

StuScott Booyahs — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 15:20:53 EST

The Britney model shaves its head and goes into rehab.

OK, these aren't making sense anymore.

StuScott Booyahs

Soon, Americans Will Lack The Need To Move

Tuffy — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 15:19:01 EST

The Shawon model can throw a beer 100 feet. However, if your couch is 20 feet away, it will throw the beer through your chest.

Tuffy

Soon, Americans Will Lack The Need To Move

Len Bias Cocaine Surplus — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 15:18:13 EST

The Byun Hyum Kim version can't handle throwing the last beer.

Len Bias Cocaine Surplus

Soon, Americans Will Lack The Need To Move

BabaOje — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 15:17:44 EST

The Donovon McNabb model has its mother kick other beer throwing fridges out of the house.

BabaOje

Soon, Americans Will Lack The Need To Move

Duketime — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 15:14:12 EST

The Manny model could catches a beer thrown by another fridge, then throws that beer to you.

Duketime

Soon, Americans Will Lack The Need To Move

Arkbear — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 15:13:09 EST

(damnit)

All your beer are belong to us.
-R.O.B.

Arkbear

Soon, Americans Will Lack The Need To Move

Arkbear — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 15:11:50 EST

All your beer belong to us.
-R.O.B.

Arkbear

Soon, Americans Will Lack The Need To Move

BabaOje — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 15:11:24 EST

The Corey Lidle version attempts to fly, but instead crashes and burns.

BabaOje

Soon, Americans Will Lack The Need To Move

Tuffy — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 15:11:21 EST

The Traschel model takes four hours to throw a beer and only succeeds every other day.

Tuffy

Soon, Americans Will Lack The Need To Move

Len Bias Cocaine Surplus — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 15:07:35 EST

@StuScott Booyahs: It is rumored to be true.

Cryptozoologists have stopped their search for the Loch Ness Monster in order to pursue this "Duke QB"

Len Bias Cocaine Surplus

Soon, Americans Will Lack The Need To Move

Duketime — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 15:06:27 EST

The Belichick model has sex with your wife.

Duketime

Soon, Americans Will Lack The Need To Move

Denis Lemieux — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 15:03:17 EST

@Len Bias Cocaine Surplus: and it will blow you if you give it enough oil.

Denis Lemieux

Soon, Americans Will Lack The Need To Move

Civil Negligence — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 15:02:08 EST

The Jon Lieber model needs over 20 gallons of fuel to launch a single can.

Civil Negligence

Soon, Americans Will Lack The Need To Move

Tuffy — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 15:00:07 EST

If you fetch your own beer, the Anna Benson model gives all your friends handjobs and then slits your throat while you sleep.

Tuffy

Soon, Americans Will Lack The Need To Move

Len Bias Cocaine Surplus — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 15:00:05 EST

The Shaun Livingston model has been called back due to a defective hinge

Len Bias Cocaine Surplus

Soon, Americans Will Lack The Need To Move

StuScott Booyahs — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 14:57:55 EST

The Chan Ho Park model turns around and throws the beer 400 feet.

StuScott Booyahs

Soon, Americans Will Lack The Need To Move

Len Bias Cocaine Surplus — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 14:57:18 EST

I'm getting the Kyle Orton model.

It only supports the throwing of Jack Daniels

Len Bias Cocaine Surplus

Soon, Americans Will Lack The Need To Move

jwaves2007 — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 14:56:22 EST

The Brett Meyers version beats your girlfriend.

jwaves2007

Soon, Americans Will Lack The Need To Move

SagerBombs — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 14:55:03 EST

How about a fridge built into your ass. That's when we'll have really progressed as a society.

As a Rachel Nichols fan, I agree 100%.

SagerBombs

Soon, Americans Will Lack The Need To Move

Spectacular Sam — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 14:55:01 EST

Beware of the "Schilling" model. It's constantly making loud noises, and there's no way to shut it up.

Spectacular Sam

Soon, Americans Will Lack The Need To Move

SagerBombs — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 14:54:12 EST

The Clemens model runs on stolen plutonium and can't be bothered to throw you the first 6 beers of your half rack.

SagerBombs

Soon, Americans Will Lack The Need To Move

OchentaYcinco — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 14:53:34 EST

The Jeff Garcia model throws wine coolers.

OchentaYcinco

Soon, Americans Will Lack The Need To Move

econdave — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 14:53:17 EST

"Open the pop top, Hal"

econdave

Soon, Americans Will Lack The Need To Move

Sh!tShow — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 14:53:01 EST

"The Rocket" version never misses all year, but throws a can threw a cop car windshield during Spring Weekend.

Sh!tShow

Soon, Americans Will Lack The Need To Move

Charles — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 14:52:55 EST

McFly, I come all the way across town, and all your robotic fridge has for me is a LIGHT BEER?

Charles

Soon, Americans Will Lack The Need To Move

Spectacular Sam — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 14:50:43 EST

The "Ankiel" is great as a gag gift, but not recommended indoors.

Spectacular Sam

Soon, Americans Will Lack The Need To Move

Tuffy — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 14:50:06 EST

The Namath model spills beer on your girlfriend and then gropes her while pretending to clean it up. When you march towards it angrily, it flips on its Needs Maintenance light and powers down.

Tuffy

Soon, Americans Will Lack The Need To Move

Peter Cavan — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 14:49:24 EST

Where's the robot that picks up the empties?

Peter Cavan

Soon, Americans Will Lack The Need To Move

StuScott Booyahs — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 14:49:08 EST

UM went 1 minute into the future to get that joke

StuScott Booyahs

Soon, Americans Will Lack The Need To Move

Phatty — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 14:48:39 EST

It's a sad day when my loser co-workers show me something days before Deadspin.

Phatty

Soon, Americans Will Lack The Need To Move

BabaOje — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 14:47:40 EST

@Unsilent Majority: @Clare: creepy

BabaOje

Soon, Americans Will Lack The Need To Move

OchentaYcinco — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 14:47:37 EST

The Kerry Collins model drinks the beer and throws you the empties.

OchentaYcinco

Soon, Americans Will Lack The Need To Move

Clare — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 14:47:14 EST

But can it throw a gyrocan?

Clare

Soon, Americans Will Lack The Need To Move

KOGOD — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 14:46:54 EST

yes, but can it throw a gyroball?

KOGOD

Soon, Americans Will Lack The Need To Move

OchentaYcinco — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 14:45:59 EST

However, when they tried to post the video, the Salisbury model said "No internet."

OchentaYcinco

Soon, Americans Will Lack The Need To Move

BabaOje — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 14:45:47 EST

The Ryan Lief model blows up as soon as it removed from packaging and plugged in.

BabaOje

Soon, Americans Will Lack The Need To Move

jwaves2007 — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 14:45:37 EST

The Lasorda model watches porn while getting lubed.

jwaves2007

Soon, Americans Will Lack The Need To Move

StuScott Booyahs — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 14:45:06 EST

@Len Bias Cocaine Surplus: Duke has a quarterback?

StuScott Booyahs

Soon, Americans Will Lack The Need To Move

OchentaYcinco — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 14:44:13 EST

The Salisbury model also slings sausage.

OchentaYcinco

Soon, Americans Will Lack The Need To Move

StuScott Booyahs — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 14:44:10 EST

@Baba Oje: You will go the way of Kenny Mayne, biatch.

(Actually, I think the fridge-in-ass would be a rather important invention for all mankind.)

StuScott Booyahs

Soon, Americans Will Lack The Need To Move

jwaves2007 — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 14:44:03 EST

Once again, god I really miss college. We were poor stoned college kids so no way we could afford to build a robot or have the motivation if we had the money.

jwaves2007

Soon, Americans Will Lack The Need To Move

Sh!tShow — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 14:43:49 EST

The Michael Vick version should just use its wheels, instead of throwing it over your head and breaking a window.

Sh!tShow

Soon, Americans Will Lack The Need To Move

Len Bias Cocaine Surplus — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 14:43:43 EST

The "Grossman" model pleasures your girlfriend

Len Bias Cocaine Surplus

Soon, Americans Will Lack The Need To Move

Moobs — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 14:43:38 EST

I know a model that can shoot out ping pong balls.

I can't remember her name though...

Moobs

Soon, Americans Will Lack The Need To Move

BigTDog — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 14:40:36 EST

But can the robot juggle 3 beers and put all 3 in the hole?

Oh, it's a white robot!

BigTDog

Soon, Americans Will Lack The Need To Move

diddly — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 14:39:15 EST

Sean Salisbury says he's seen better robots.

diddly

Soon, Americans Will Lack The Need To Move

ChokingNeilReed — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 14:38:47 EST

This machine is the result of Tommy Lasorda being even more specific about what he's looking for.

ChokingNeilReed

Soon, Americans Will Lack The Need To Move

OchentaYcinco — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 14:37:45 EST

Ah fine. The Brett Favre model throws the beer through all your windows, and even though it's old, it doesn't break down so you don't replace it.

Also, Peter King wants to have sex with it.

OchentaYcinco

Soon, Americans Will Lack The Need To Move

Denis Lemieux — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 14:36:15 EST

Sorry but I only associate with robots that help me play Gyromite.

Denis Lemieux

Soon, Americans Will Lack The Need To Move

Len Bias Cocaine Surplus — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 14:35:55 EST

that thing could play QB on the Duke football team for sure

Len Bias Cocaine Surplus

Soon, Americans Will Lack The Need To Move

badbabu — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 14:35:51 EST

The Aaron Brooks model has a reversible mechanism.

badbabu

Soon, Americans Will Lack The Need To Move

Sandy Magic Jackson — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 14:35:31 EST

@throwbot: You know, I think a few of the Black Hole denizens wouldn't mind that.

And I don't know about you, but I wouldn't want that to launch anywhere near my TV screen. One slip and BOOM! plasma juice all over your floor.

Sandy Magic Jackson

Soon, Americans Will Lack The Need To Move

MattMillenFanClub — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 14:35:06 EST

The Leinart version throws sperm.

MattMillenFanClub

Soon, Americans Will Lack The Need To Move

#### Vermeil Equals Emo — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 14:34:43 EST

I'm getting the Small Wonder model.

#### Vermeil Equals Emo

Soon, Americans Will Lack The Need To Move

Body by Sabathia — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 14:34:12 EST

The "Couch" model started crying after we all got pissed off at it after a few incompletions.

Body by Sabathia

Soon, Americans Will Lack The Need To Move

Doyle McPoyle — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 14:33:28 EST

Why is it that people who build cool ass beer launching machines look nothing like people I want to hang out and drink a beer with?

I know my friends are morons, but maybe one of the could be some kind of engineering savant right?

Doyle McPoyle

Soon, Americans Will Lack The Need To Move

OchentaYcinco — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 14:32:42 EST

Rather than make another QB comparison, I'll sum up my reaction as such: I just came.

OchentaYcinco

Soon, Americans Will Lack The Need To Move

BabaOje — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 14:32:39 EST

@StuScott Booyahs: is that a threat? because i will take you and left eye stu down

BabaOje

Soon, Americans Will Lack The Need To Move

chopper dave — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 14:32:23 EST

"Father! Give me legs!"

chopper dave

Soon, Americans Will Lack The Need To Move

Stev D — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 14:31:56 EST

The "Brady" model throws yogurt instead of beer.

Stev D

Soon, Americans Will Lack The Need To Move

Spectacular Sam — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 14:30:16 EST

The "Eli" model constantly throws beers to the wrong person.

Spectacular Sam

Soon, Americans Will Lack The Need To Move

Oops Pow Surprise — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 14:30:08 EST

@Tuffy: Lucky bastard. My Drew Tate model flings the beer to my enemies, stops working, then blames the state I live in.

Oops Pow Surprise

Soon, Americans Will Lack The Need To Move

badbabu — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 14:29:25 EST

That thing's more accurate than the Vanderbilt virgins.

badbabu

Soon, Americans Will Lack The Need To Move

Pete Gaines — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 14:28:57 EST

In Soviet Russia, beer throws you fridge!

Pete Gaines

Soon, Americans Will Lack The Need To Move

Chief Illiniwek — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 14:28:40 EST

A Duke robot w/out a popped collar? I call shenanigans.

Chief Illiniwek

Soon, Americans Will Lack The Need To Move

Body by Sabathia — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 14:26:56 EST

"No disassemble! Beer throwing fridge is alive!!!"

Body by Sabathia

Soon, Americans Will Lack The Need To Move

throwbot — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 14:26:42 EST

With the first pick in the 2007 NFL Draft, the Oakland Raiders select:

From Duke University, Beer Launching Fridge Robot!!

throwbot

Soon, Americans Will Lack The Need To Move

Tuffy — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 14:26:09 EST

My Tebow model eschews throwing the beer, insisting on ramming into the coffee table repeatedly without ever getting close enough to hand me my beer.

Tuffy

Soon, Americans Will Lack The Need To Move

Rob Iracane — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 14:23:45 EST

@goldstar4robotboy: Gold star for goldstar4robotboy for the robot comment.

Rob Iracane

Soon, Americans Will Lack The Need To Move

heyzeus — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 14:21:38 EST

His next robot is specially designed to sexually assault minority strippers.

heyzeus

Soon, Americans Will Lack The Need To Move

BigTenObsession — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 14:21:32 EST

That fridge is more accurate than the Sex Cannon.

BigTenObsession

Soon, Americans Will Lack The Need To Move

goldstar4robotboy — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 14:21:21 EST

Fridge: Fuck it, I'm going deep.

goldstar4robotboy

Soon, Americans Will Lack The Need To Move

#### Vermeil Equals Emo — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 14:21:19 EST

@Frinklin: You like money too. We should totally hang out.

#### Vermeil Equals Emo

Soon, Americans Will Lack The Need To Move

Stev D — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 14:21:01 EST

@Frinklin: It says on your chart you're fucked up, you talk like a fag, and your shit's all retarded

Stev D

Soon, Americans Will Lack The Need To Move

BrooklynMetFan — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 14:20:53 EST

It's nice to see how productive these Duke kids can be when they're not allegedly raping whores

BrooklynMetFan

Soon, Americans Will Lack The Need To Move

Bill S. Preston, Esq. — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 14:20:41 EST

when will they come up with an exotic dancer allegedly raping robot? no dna on that sucker!

Bill S. Preston, Esq.

Soon, Americans Will Lack The Need To Move

twoeightnine — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 14:18:33 EST

"Beer" launching fridge.

twoeightnine

Soon, Americans Will Lack The Need To Move

KOGOD — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 14:18:29 EST

does it spot for you in the bathroom?

KOGOD

Soon, Americans Will Lack The Need To Move

Frinklin — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 14:16:34 EST

How far are we from Idiocracy are we? Ten years?

Though I do often yell, "GO AWAY! BATIN!"as it is.

Frinklin

Soon, Americans Will Lack The Need To Move

ArkansasFred — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 14:15:19 EST

I take it these fucks haven't seen Maximum Overdrive.

ArkansasFred

Soon, Americans Will Lack The Need To Move

TastesLikeBurning — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 14:15:05 EST

Does it work with Zima?

--JJ

TastesLikeBurning

Soon, Americans Will Lack The Need To Move

Body by Sabathia — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 14:15:03 EST

Does this company offer a "pleasure model"???

Body by Sabathia

Soon, Americans Will Lack The Need To Move

MDT — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 14:14:37 EST

Duke Fencers, once again, filling the world with joy and happiness

MDT

Soon, Americans Will Lack The Need To Move

Signal to Noise — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 14:14:33 EST

... or at least the genesis of an inevitable beer commercial.

Fridge with laser rocket arm? Someone get Peyton Manning's agent on the line.

Signal to Noise

Soon, Americans Will Lack The Need To Move

StuScott Booyahs — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 14:14:32 EST

@Baba Oje: How about a fridge built into your ass. That's when we'll have really progressed as a society.

StuScott Booyahs

Soon, Americans Will Lack The Need To Move

throwbot — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 14:14:25 EST

@Baba Oje: George Costanza approves.

throwbot

Soon, Americans Will Lack The Need To Move

the_h_is_o — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 14:13:24 EST

Bah, let me know when there's one capable of holding my dirty thirty.

the_h_is_o

Soon, Americans Will Lack The Need To Move

SteveJeltzFan — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 14:13:18 EST

Theo Huxtable and his two engineering-major roommates are unimpressed.

SteveJeltzFan

Soon, Americans Will Lack The Need To Move

Encouraging Referee Pitman — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 14:12:57 EST

Wouldn't a Duke-based invention throw Zima instead? With an Axe Body Spray chaser?

Encouraging Referee Pitman

Soon, Americans Will Lack The Need To Move

The Leonard Leap — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 14:12:19 EST

Tastes Great, Less Filling

The Leonard Leap

Soon, Americans Will Lack The Need To Move

BabaOje — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 14:11:39 EST

I prefer to have a fridge built into the couch. Now thats just classy

BabaOje

Soon, Americans Will Lack The Need To Move

Matt_T — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 14:11:32 EST

This is how Skynet starts their takeover.

Matt_T

Soon, Americans Will Lack The Need To Move

Signal to Noise — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 14:10:29 EST

If they can couple it with a cabinet that launches your bags of chips (or TASTY CHEEZ DOODLES) at you, these boys have hit paydirt.

Signal to Noise

Soon, Americans Will Lack The Need To Move

Tuffy — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 14:09:41 EST

There goes my last reason for getting married.

Tuffy

Soon, Americans Will Lack The Need To Move

Ed McMahon's Party Machine — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 14:09:20 EST

I for one welcome our new beer launching overlords.

Ed McMahon's Party Machine

Soon, Americans Will Lack The Need To Move

StuScott Booyahs — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 14:09:10 EST

The day I need a robot to get me a beer, I'm going to stick a gun in the back of my mouth.

StuScott Booyahs

Soon, Americans Will Lack The Need To Move

Oops Pow Surprise — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 14:09:02 EST

Wow, the elusive "the fridge throws you beer" tag! I figured the only time we'd ever see it is if Will ever found out about my wet dream about the '86 Bears.

I've probably just said way too much.

Oops Pow Surprise

Soon, Americans Will Lack The Need To Move

KOGOD — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 14:08:04 EST

My outdated beer robot just got so depressed it jumped off of a bridge. Thanks Will.

KOGOD