Sean Salisbury Finds Someone He Can Pay To Honor Him - Deadspin Comments

Sean Salisbury Finds Someone He Can Pay To Honor Him

cromartie — Wed, 07 Mar 2007 16:29:04 EST

He didn't WIN a Grey Cup, the BC Lions LOST it to a team he happened to quarterback.

Thanks for nothing, Matt Dunnigan.

Not that I'm bitter.

cromartie

Sean Salisbury Finds Someone He Can Pay To Honor Him

J. Henry Waugh — Wed, 07 Mar 2007 16:19:31 EST

They wanted him to donate more but he chewed them down.

J. Henry Waugh

Sean Salisbury Finds Someone He Can Pay To Honor Him

Bo Pelini Temper Tantrum — Wed, 07 Mar 2007 15:57:15 EST

He's going back to his high school? That explains the Nutrisystem ads.

Bo Pelini Temper Tantrum

Sean Salisbury Finds Someone He Can Pay To Honor Him

Len Bias Cocaine Surplus — Wed, 07 Mar 2007 15:35:00 EST

@Suss--: Does Bill Nye make it first ballot?

Len Bias Cocaine Surplus

Sean Salisbury Finds Someone He Can Pay To Honor Him

Dieter — Wed, 07 Mar 2007 15:33:53 EST

@Suss--: Not so fast. Carmen Electra is the only name on my first ballot. Sean can wait.

Dieter

Sean Salisbury Finds Someone He Can Pay To Honor Him

Dread — Wed, 07 Mar 2007 15:33:25 EST

Clearly, Disney's attempt to get a piece of the lucrative Porky's audience.

I would guess this is all leading up to an ESPN Salisbury Sunday Night Movie and DVD.

Dread

Sean Salisbury Finds Someone He Can Pay To Honor Him

Phil Mickelsons Man Tits — Wed, 07 Mar 2007 15:28:27 EST

Stand and Kenny think Salisbury is a bigger douche that John Edward. I tend to agree.

Phil Mickelsons Man Tits

Sean Salisbury Finds Someone He Can Pay To Honor Him

goathair — Wed, 07 Mar 2007 15:20:55 EST

Sean Salisbury is the worst QB in Super Tecmo Bowl so I can totally see why they retired his jersey.

goathair

Sean Salisbury Finds Someone He Can Pay To Honor Him

BigTenObsession — Wed, 07 Mar 2007 15:17:43 EST

@David_Hume:

REALLY? I wonder if Joselio reads my recaps at DeadOn?

BigTenObsession

Sean Salisbury Finds Someone He Can Pay To Honor Him

Raskolnikov — Wed, 07 Mar 2007 15:16:50 EST

Orange Glen High School: the only prostitute that ever loved Sean Salisbury.

Raskolnikov

Sean Salisbury Finds Someone He Can Pay To Honor Him

David Hume — Wed, 07 Mar 2007 15:14:16 EST

@BigTenObsession: I saw that same .JPG of Salisbury's autographed unit. Must have used a super fine point pen.

Interestingly, I was sent an .MPG of Joselio Hanson's autographed junk. Starts out showing "JoHaRules."

Ends up saying "Joselio Hanson, Eagles Defensive Back, Swell Guy, and Fan of MTV's Road Rules"

David Hume

Sean Salisbury Finds Someone He Can Pay To Honor Him

ArkansasFred — Wed, 07 Mar 2007 15:13:57 EST

BUT HIS DAD HAS CANCER!!!!!

ArkansasFred

Sean Salisbury Finds Someone He Can Pay To Honor Him

WBRS Sports Blog — Wed, 07 Mar 2007 15:13:44 EST

Sean, I think your whole shtick about sucking at quarterback and life in general is getting kind of old. If you keep mentioning those two facts to viewers all the time, don't you think eventually ESPN authorities will realize that they are the morons that hired your idioic butt?

WBRS Sports Blog

Sean Salisbury Finds Someone He Can Pay To Honor Him

Rob Iracane — Wed, 07 Mar 2007 15:12:22 EST

On a related note, how much cash does Rich Lederer have to raise to get Bert Blyleven enshrined at Cooperstown?

Rob Iracane

Sean Salisbury Finds Someone He Can Pay To Honor Him

M-S-H — Wed, 07 Mar 2007 15:11:08 EST

The best part will be when Sean acts all demure at the ceremony, then sheepishly admits "yeah, I guess I was a pretty great player for this high school," as the spectators and hot girls he previously paid off stand up one by one to clap, then eventually mob him on the field and carry him off toward the sex party for which he also previously paid. See how it's all a rich tapestry? Sean Salisbury does nothing halfway.

M-S-H

Sean Salisbury Finds Someone He Can Pay To Honor Him

Ron — Wed, 07 Mar 2007 15:09:58 EST

Al "Crazy Legs" Bundy was the greatest football player in Polk High history.

Ron

Sean Salisbury Finds Someone He Can Pay To Honor Him

J-No — Wed, 07 Mar 2007 15:09:49 EST

@Blackaces:
Monica Lewinsky thinks that is gross.

J-No

Sean Salisbury Finds Someone He Can Pay To Honor Him

Grouper Sandwich — Wed, 07 Mar 2007 15:09:07 EST

To commemorate the occasion, the school cafeteria will be serving salisbury tube steak for lunch.

Grouper Sandwich

Sean Salisbury Finds Someone He Can Pay To Honor Him

badbabu — Wed, 07 Mar 2007 15:08:11 EST

Pfft, no way should Sean have his jersey retired before Touchdown Bundy.

4 TD's in one game!

badbabu

Sean Salisbury Finds Someone He Can Pay To Honor Him

OchentaYcinco — Wed, 07 Mar 2007 15:06:56 EST

Good thing most high schools won't let kids have their cell phones on during school.

OchentaYcinco

Sean Salisbury Finds Someone He Can Pay To Honor Him

BigTenObsession — Wed, 07 Mar 2007 15:05:45 EST

@Blackaces:

The e-bays has been kind to you, my friend.

BigTenObsession

Sean Salisbury Finds Someone He Can Pay To Honor Him

Bad Barbecue — Wed, 07 Mar 2007 15:05:33 EST

I'm guessing noone chooses to wear his number anyway.

Easy decision.

Bad Barbecue

Sean Salisbury Finds Someone He Can Pay To Honor Him

I Dream of Jeannie Zelasko — Wed, 07 Mar 2007 15:04:38 EST

whoah. I read that first line really quickly as ESPN NFL "analrapist" and thought, "uh oh... what did he do now?" Clearly too much caffeine for me this morning, folks.

I Dream of Jeannie Zelasko

Sean Salisbury Finds Someone He Can Pay To Honor Him

Sid Bream Was Out — Wed, 07 Mar 2007 15:02:00 EST

A game worn Salisbury Trojan Uniform ... you want to avoid coming into contact with that.

Sid Bream Was Out

Sean Salisbury Finds Someone He Can Pay To Honor Him

blackaces — Wed, 07 Mar 2007 14:59:21 EST

@BigTenObsession: And I've got a game-worn jersey of Little Sean, complete with actual stains. Beat that!

blackaces

Sean Salisbury Finds Someone He Can Pay To Honor Him

scumdog0331 — Wed, 07 Mar 2007 14:58:58 EST

I wonder if I can get my High School to retire my jersey by giving them money? Nah, I already paid for the diploma, better not push my luck.

scumdog0331

Sean Salisbury Finds Someone He Can Pay To Honor Him

TattooedMess(iah) — Wed, 07 Mar 2007 14:58:49 EST

@Lady Andrea: Something tells me you didn't want to use that analogy in the Masturbate-athon post.

TattooedMess(iah)

Sean Salisbury Finds Someone He Can Pay To Honor Him

Sir Hotbod Handsomeface — Wed, 07 Mar 2007 14:58:34 EST

@BowdenBowdenBowden: The Csonk, however, is clearly in

Sir Hotbod Handsomeface

Sean Salisbury Finds Someone He Can Pay To Honor Him

BabaOje — Wed, 07 Mar 2007 14:58:23 EST

I would hate to see what picture of Salisbury they put on any plaque memorializing the event

BabaOje

Sean Salisbury Finds Someone He Can Pay To Honor Him

Jen P — Wed, 07 Mar 2007 14:58:19 EST

@BigTenObsession: I don't want to know what was used for ink.

Jen P

Sean Salisbury Finds Someone He Can Pay To Honor Him

Jordan Ginsberg — Wed, 07 Mar 2007 14:58:03 EST

T-Mobile and Motorola are also co-sponsoring an auction for "gently used" Salisbury merkins.

Jordan Ginsberg

Sean Salisbury Finds Someone He Can Pay To Honor Him

Lady Andrea — Wed, 07 Mar 2007 14:57:22 EST

@BowdenBowdenBowden: Mike Adamle did, though.

I saw him calling a basketball game the other night. Dude's been rode hard and put away wet.

Lady Andrea

Sean Salisbury Finds Someone He Can Pay To Honor Him

Signal to Noise — Wed, 07 Mar 2007 14:57:08 EST

@Lady Andrea: Salisbury's probably the jock version of Wooderson.

"That's what I love about these high school girls, man. I get older, they stay the same age."

Signal to Noise

Sean Salisbury Finds Someone He Can Pay To Honor Him

BowdenBowdenBowden — Wed, 07 Mar 2007 14:56:22 EST

@Suss--: Salisbury didn't get the requisite number of votes for first ballot admittance into the American Gladiator Announcer's Hall of Fame though.

BowdenBowdenBowden

Sean Salisbury Finds Someone He Can Pay To Honor Him

BigTenObsession — Wed, 07 Mar 2007 14:55:47 EST

Dammit J-No!

BigTenObsession

Sean Salisbury Finds Someone He Can Pay To Honor Him

BigTenObsession — Wed, 07 Mar 2007 14:55:11 EST

I have an autographed pic of Lil' Sean.

BigTenObsession

Sean Salisbury Finds Someone He Can Pay To Honor Him

J-No — Wed, 07 Mar 2007 14:55:01 EST

I would have thought he would auction of an autographed picture of his.....

J-No

Sean Salisbury Finds Someone He Can Pay To Honor Him

blackaces — Wed, 07 Mar 2007 14:54:34 EST

In other news, 'Little Sean' was honored as the champion of the 2007 'Masterbate-A-Thon' in London.

Upon accepting the award, Little Sean thanked his host, Big Sean, for the opportunity to please/horrify so many ladies in the audience. He then dedicated the award to perverts everywhere and pledged to continue frightening women one by one until every last one is familiar with the sight of Little Sean.

blackaces

Sean Salisbury Finds Someone He Can Pay To Honor Him

Lady Andrea — Wed, 07 Mar 2007 14:54:19 EST

They're going to LET HIM BACK INTO HIS HIGH SCHOOL? With all those underage girls running around?

Lady Andrea

Sean Salisbury Finds Someone He Can Pay To Honor Him

thesepretzels — Wed, 07 Mar 2007 14:53:31 EST

Game worn? Authenticated?

thesepretzels

Sean Salisbury Finds Someone He Can Pay To Honor Him

TattooedMess(iah) — Wed, 07 Mar 2007 14:53:25 EST

I guess you could say Salisbury's a real "athletic supporter". Sorry, I'll show myself out now.

TattooedMess(iah)

Sean Salisbury Finds Someone He Can Pay To Honor Him

Matt Sussman — Wed, 07 Mar 2007 14:53:21 EST

Also a first-ballot entry into the BattleBots Broadcasting Hall of Fame.

Matt Sussman

Sean Salisbury Finds Someone He Can Pay To Honor Him

Rock tha Hizzee — Wed, 07 Mar 2007 14:53:11 EST

"He's auctioning off two spots in his annual Sean Salisbury Golf Classic."

I would bid, but these will definitely be snagged by Hootie and a Blowfish.

Rock tha Hizzee

Sean Salisbury Finds Someone He Can Pay To Honor Him

Little Wooden Boy — Wed, 07 Mar 2007 14:52:52 EST

But when does Lil' Sean's jersey get retired?

Little Wooden Boy

Sean Salisbury Finds Someone He Can Pay To Honor Him

thesepretzels — Wed, 07 Mar 2007 14:51:30 EST

Is it the commemorative jock from that bowl game?

thesepretzels