Your Long National Nightmare Is Over - Deadspin Comments

Your Long National Nightmare Is Over

CliffX — Mon, 26 Mar 2007 20:51:43 EDT

Joe probably meant well, but he essentially is the Billy Packer of NFL Broadcasting.

And Jaworski is going to be AWESOME to watch, and yes, he'll help both Tony and Tirico tremendously.

Your Long National Nightmare Is Over

Yostal — Mon, 26 Mar 2007 16:42:11 EDT

@StAlphonzo:
Always remember, it was a Michigan man who give us the concept of the long national nightmare. Thank you Gerald Ford.@

UkraineNotWeak: If you've ever seen pictures of the NFL film vault, you'd know it's as well set-up as the White House Situation Room. Jaws never leaves there anymore, he's like the Shadow NFL Commissioner.

Yostal

Your Long National Nightmare Is Over

knots — Mon, 26 Mar 2007 15:24:06 EDT

Now he can bring his dumb ass back to Memphis and pop the little blue miracle with his blond plastic wife and stink up the local Pro-am golf tournaments.

knots

Your Long National Nightmare Is Over

Slothrop — Mon, 26 Mar 2007 14:46:21 EDT

@Pat Tillman: American Badass:

Do you mean this? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ExPUtf69amk

The best part is when the last cilia left in Remy's lungs explode onto the window.

Slothrop

Your Long National Nightmare Is Over

I Heart Poop — Mon, 26 Mar 2007 14:03:26 EDT

if i ran mnf i'd hire joe namath, a bottle of scotch and a cardboard cut-out of pat summerall (or the real pat summerall - same effect). that would be my broadcast team. sideline reporter you ask? is there any question? the chemistry is undeniable.

I Heart Poop

Your Long National Nightmare Is Over

Billy H — Mon, 26 Mar 2007 13:49:54 EDT

@TheStarterWife: I just remember when Leary and Lenny Clarke came onto a Red Sox TV broadcast last season for half an inning or so. Their rantings were amusing, to put it lightly.

Billy H

Your Long National Nightmare Is Over

Capt.Insano — Mon, 26 Mar 2007 13:41:06 EDT

This is going to be an "I saw it in D-spin first, posts". My prediction is that within 2 years, Mike and Mike will be part of the team for MNF. WWL has them serving an apprenticeship in Arena FB. We are going to have to suffer with Cosell and Dierdorf, again. Get those bricks ready in Cleveland....

Capt.Insano

Your Long National Nightmare Is Over

Blackguard — Mon, 26 Mar 2007 13:24:32 EDT

@Little Wooden Boy: Re: Oher's "sister". She's smokin'.

Blackguard

Your Long National Nightmare Is Over

44 in a Row — Mon, 26 Mar 2007 13:19:38 EDT

I would take her out to a nice seafood dinner.

44 in a Row

Your Long National Nightmare Is Over

Boz — Mon, 26 Mar 2007 13:11:32 EDT

Joe Who?

Boz

Your Long National Nightmare Is Over

JebusHChrist — Mon, 26 Mar 2007 13:09:57 EDT

@Chief Illiniwek (Ret.): I hear you Chief. I'd make her remember every awkward sexual experience she's ever had.

JebusHChrist

Your Long National Nightmare Is Over

Little Wooden Boy — Mon, 26 Mar 2007 13:07:18 EDT

Just throwing in my recommendation for the Blind Side as well. I thought it was gonna end badly for that kid, but I'm pulling for him now.

Although I'm curious what his "sister" looks like...

Little Wooden Boy

Your Long National Nightmare Is Over

12-Inch Idongivafuck Sandwich — Mon, 26 Mar 2007 13:03:17 EDT

@In Flagrante Delicto: Me too...so much so I'm actually applying to go back to UF for my MBA...

12-Inch Idongivafuck Sandwich

Your Long National Nightmare Is Over

In Flagrante Delicto — Mon, 26 Mar 2007 13:01:18 EDT

@12-inch Idongivafuck Sandwich: My oh my, sometimes I wish I were still in college.

In Flagrante Delicto

Your Long National Nightmare Is Over

TheStarterWife — Mon, 26 Mar 2007 12:58:41 EDT

@Pat Tillman: American Badass: Only because Bill Hicks is unavailable?

TheStarterWife

Your Long National Nightmare Is Over

TheDrizzle — Mon, 26 Mar 2007 12:58:26 EDT

Joe,

1. Take picture of self.
2. Lose twenty pounds.
3. Take new picture of self.
4. Send to Nutrisystem.
5. Suffer John Kruk during commercial shoot.
6. Cash Check.

Sincerely,
Mike Golic

Avatars">TheDrizzle

Your Long National Nightmare Is Over

Chief Illiniwek — Mon, 26 Mar 2007 12:56:25 EDT

@JebusHChrist: I would give her the best 30 seconds of her life. Then I would eat cheese and nap.

Chief Illiniwek

Your Long National Nightmare Is Over

Billy H — Mon, 26 Mar 2007 12:54:58 EDT

How about a shit-faced Denis Leary for TK?

Billy H

Your Long National Nightmare Is Over

Peter Cavan — Mon, 26 Mar 2007 12:51:28 EDT

Another recommendation here for The Blind Side. I found both the football and personal stories equally compelling.

Peter Cavan

Your Long National Nightmare Is Over

JebusHChrist — Mon, 26 Mar 2007 12:51:24 EDT

@12-inch Idongivafuck Sandwich: Dear Gawd.

JebusHChrist

Your Long National Nightmare Is Over

badbabu — Mon, 26 Mar 2007 12:51:23 EDT

The only error that peeved me was Steve Young winning 2 Super Bowls.

badbabu

Your Long National Nightmare Is Over

JebusHChrist — Mon, 26 Mar 2007 12:50:11 EDT

Mackey Sasser's Right Arm - The more I think about Alford the more I realize what a complete dick he was. Reminds me of Theismann is a lot of ways - humorless, smug, tight-ass, self-important, cock blocks.

JebusHChrist

Your Long National Nightmare Is Over

Phony Gwynn — Mon, 26 Mar 2007 12:48:52 EDT

@Jerkwheat: I read it really fast. I also had an advanced uncorrected proof, and although there were a few factual errors, I didn't see too many typos. Good read, though. I'm rooting for that Oher kid.

Phony Gwynn

Your Long National Nightmare Is Over

SmedIndy — Mon, 26 Mar 2007 12:48:49 EDT

Wow! There is a God! And did everyone see Tirico on PTI? That was great, too!

I think Tony and Jaws will be great together.

SmedIndy

Your Long National Nightmare Is Over

12-Inch Idongivafuck Sandwich — Mon, 26 Mar 2007 12:48:30 EDT

Hmmm...With Leather has the best picture of a Florida Cheerleader ever...

I could love her...maybe even twice a night...

12-Inch Idongivafuck Sandwich

Your Long National Nightmare Is Over

Yinka Double Dare — Mon, 26 Mar 2007 12:48:15 EDT

The weird part with Tirico is that he's actually pretty decent for basketball and for golf. One would hope that he could improve for football -- at least there's hope, which is more than you can say for some guys.

Has anyone seen Jaws on the Arena telecasts? How is he on there?

Yinka Double Dare

Your Long National Nightmare Is Over

Mike Honcho — Mon, 26 Mar 2007 12:47:22 EDT

We hope that Theismann kid can land on his feet.

Insert L.T. leg joke here.

Mike Honcho

Your Long National Nightmare Is Over

Abe Froman — Mon, 26 Mar 2007 12:46:27 EDT

let me tell you what happened here. you see, you've got this announcer who tends to overtalk and analyze, but in reality, he just doesn't know what he's talking about. and then, all of a sudden, he's hit in the blindside by someone who's clearly superior, and now he's left scrounging to get an endorsement from supercuts.

it's a flaw in the system that hired him in the first place.

isn't that right, paul?

paul?

Abe Froman

Your Long National Nightmare Is Over

Off The Baggie — Mon, 26 Mar 2007 12:45:36 EDT

"Alfords Plane Hit by Lightning Leaving Iowa"

So when Dan Gable retired, did 5 of the 7 biblical plagues to rain down on Cedar Rapids???

Off The Baggie

Your Long National Nightmare Is Over

Jerkwheat — Mon, 26 Mar 2007 12:42:36 EDT

@The Claudine Longet Firearm Training Academy: agreed with +1 for Blind Side. I would drive past Briarcrest every day during my short stint back home in Memphis in '04.

Jerkwheat

Your Long National Nightmare Is Over

JebusHChrist — Mon, 26 Mar 2007 12:42:09 EDT

@Discombobulatingly Devastating: And he's so utterly joyless.

JebusHChrist

Your Long National Nightmare Is Over

44 in a Row — Mon, 26 Mar 2007 12:41:13 EDT

Shaun Livingston would like to point out that landing on your feet is useless if you do so "awkwardly".

44 in a Row

Your Long National Nightmare Is Over

JebusHChrist — Mon, 26 Mar 2007 12:40:40 EDT

@badbabu: Agreed. I read it in one sitting.

JebusHChrist

Your Long National Nightmare Is Over

Weed Against Speed — Mon, 26 Mar 2007 12:39:48 EDT

@Dread:

It could happen. There has to be at least one good-looking production assistant working on MNF.

Weed Against Speed

Your Long National Nightmare Is Over

Blackguard — Mon, 26 Mar 2007 12:39:11 EDT

+1 to The Blind Side. Briarcrest is right down the street from where I live.

Blackguard

Your Long National Nightmare Is Over

Moonshine Mike — Mon, 26 Mar 2007 12:38:29 EDT

Who was it that said Tirico was not bad on PTI? They were right.

Kornheiser even himself said he sucked last year. I admire his honesty.

Moonshine Mike

Your Long National Nightmare Is Over

Discombobulatingly Devastating — Mon, 26 Mar 2007 12:37:28 EDT

@TheStarterWife: He does know the game. It's a shame he's incapable of talking about it coherently.

Discombobulatingly Devastating

Your Long National Nightmare Is Over

Ricky And His Sticky Icky — Mon, 26 Mar 2007 12:37:17 EDT

I think the Joe Theismann era officially reached its peak (trough?) when he said the following, regarding Drew Bledsoe's performance in a game:

"That was the straw... that lost them the football game."

Well Joe, last season was the straw that lost you your job.

Ricky And His Sticky Icky

Your Long National Nightmare Is Over

Len Bias Cocaine Surplus — Mon, 26 Mar 2007 12:36:30 EDT

I though Joe was actually great when teaming with computer generated Howard Cossell to call that game between the 90s Cowboys and the 70s Steelers

Len Bias Cocaine Surplus

Your Long National Nightmare Is Over

badbabu — Mon, 26 Mar 2007 12:35:53 EDT

@JebusHChrist: Speaking of LT, I just finished The Blind Side.

It's a good read, if you don't mind the occasional typo/factual error.

badbabu

Your Long National Nightmare Is Over

Rob Iracane — Mon, 26 Mar 2007 12:35:41 EDT

We hope that Theismann kid can land on his feet.

I agree.

Rob Iracane

Your Long National Nightmare Is Over

UkraineNotWeak aka Praying for a Bullpen — Mon, 26 Mar 2007 12:35:41 EDT

@Get Him A Body Bag, Yeah!:

Being married Kathie Lee is a full time job. Would you like to deal with her 24/7?

UkraineNotWeak aka Praying for a Bullpen

Your Long National Nightmare Is Over

Dread — Mon, 26 Mar 2007 12:35:11 EDT

I think Jaws actually likes football.

Now if they could just replace Tirico with, uh, nobody.

Dread

Your Long National Nightmare Is Over

Len Bias Cocaine Surplus — Mon, 26 Mar 2007 12:34:54 EDT

@Get Him A Body Bag, Yeah!: Don't forgot OJ

Len Bias Cocaine Surplus

Your Long National Nightmare Is Over

In Flagrante Delicto — Mon, 26 Mar 2007 12:34:18 EDT

Tony had the best sports radio show in history, and given time, I think he'll be better in the booth.

In Flagrante Delicto

Your Long National Nightmare Is Over

Civil Negligence — Mon, 26 Mar 2007 12:34:06 EDT

"Double A, M-C-O"

Civil Negligence

Your Long National Nightmare Is Over

UkraineNotWeak aka Praying for a Bullpen — Mon, 26 Mar 2007 12:33:32 EDT

But will Jaws emerged long enough from the film room to actually do the games on site or will he just call in his commentary from NFL Films in Mt. Carmel, NJ?

UkraineNotWeak aka Praying for a Bullpen

Your Long National Nightmare Is Over

Get Him A Body Bag, Yeah! — Mon, 26 Mar 2007 12:33:13 EDT

Theismann will land on his feet. I mean, look at the huge career that Frank Gifford and Don Meredith have had since being fired from MNF.

Get Him A Body Bag, Yeah!

Your Long National Nightmare Is Over

Len Bias Cocaine Surplus — Mon, 26 Mar 2007 12:32:59 EDT

I think this is the appropriate metaphor

Len Bias Cocaine Surplus

Your Long National Nightmare Is Over

Off The Baggie — Mon, 26 Mar 2007 12:32:32 EDT

It's no wonder the rest of the world despises us when people like Theismann, Buck, Morgan, McCarver and Madden all occupy prime positions on any worldwide telecast originating in America...

Off The Baggie

Your Long National Nightmare Is Over

Roy Hobbs — Mon, 26 Mar 2007 12:32:19 EDT

Today will be a day long remembered in the Galaxy. It has seen the end of Thiesmann, and soon it shall see the end of...well, I don't know, but I was watching Star Wars this weekend and I needed something good to quote.

Roy Hobbs

Your Long National Nightmare Is Over

TheStarterWife — Mon, 26 Mar 2007 12:32:01 EDT

I've said it before, and I will say it again:
There is no rest for the weary while that blowhard, kiss-the-asses of the ABC "guests" Kornheiser is still in the booth. Theismann might have been a dud, but at least he knew the game of football.

Kornheiser = Simmons in 20 - 30 years.

TheStarterWife

Your Long National Nightmare Is Over

Larry Bird Flu — Mon, 26 Mar 2007 12:30:46 EDT

If you've ever seen Jaws on PTI, he and Kornheiser (and Wilbon) have great chemistry and seem to like each other personally. I think Mr. Tony ends up looking light-years better with Jaws next to him.

Larry Bird Flu

Your Long National Nightmare Is Over

Phony Gwynn — Mon, 26 Mar 2007 12:30:26 EDT

being the infinitely superior Ron Jaworski

Hey, don't slight Jaws like that. He's much more than infinitely superior to Theesmann.

Phony Gwynn

Your Long National Nightmare Is Over

THEGINOCIMOLICONSPIRACY — Mon, 26 Mar 2007 12:28:44 EDT

Now that The Goddamn Mouse, Inc. has exchanged one quarterback for another, it's time to switch print journalists in the booth. I'm thinking Pete Axthelm is an upgrade.

THEGINOCIMOLICONSPIRACY

Your Long National Nightmare Is Over

HeavyPettingZoo — Mon, 26 Mar 2007 12:26:54 EDT

I'm sorry... I know this has been said before, but Oden and Noah are just flat-out getting DOWN on the front of ESPN.com right now. Hibbert and the UCLA guy, on the other hand, are just going through the motions. Should that affect my bets when I get to Vegas this Friday?

HeavyPettingZoo

Your Long National Nightmare Is Over

StAlphonzo — Mon, 26 Mar 2007 12:26:25 EDT

Damn, for the leader of the free world we sure have a lot of Long National Nightmares.
Can't we just ask George Clooney to come over here and fix this thing?

StAlphonzo

Your Long National Nightmare Is Over

JebusHChrist — Mon, 26 Mar 2007 12:26:17 EDT

Also, I hate Theismann. Just look at him. He's the definition of a cock block. Too bad LT didn't hit him in the neck.

JebusHChrist

Your Long National Nightmare Is Over

BradLee — Mon, 26 Mar 2007 12:25:52 EDT

Which do you think hurts worse, the broken leg or getting removed from MNF while Kornheiser stays? It's a toss-up.

BradLee

Your Long National Nightmare Is Over

Dr.Venkman — Mon, 26 Mar 2007 12:25:48 EDT

there is a god.

Dr.Venkman

Your Long National Nightmare Is Over

chopper dave — Mon, 26 Mar 2007 12:25:14 EDT

HIGH FIVE!

chopper dave

Your Long National Nightmare Is Over

KOGOD — Mon, 26 Mar 2007 12:24:59 EDT

Thank God PFT got this right.

KOGOD

Your Long National Nightmare Is Over

Weed Against Speed — Mon, 26 Mar 2007 12:24:53 EDT

In whatever his next endeavor is, I would like to let Joe Theismann know to "break a leg".

Weed Against Speed

Your Long National Nightmare Is Over

Lt. Exley — Mon, 26 Mar 2007 12:24:38 EDT

Sometimes there is good in this world.

Lt. Exley

Your Long National Nightmare Is Over

The Intern — Mon, 26 Mar 2007 12:23:38 EDT

I'll really miss his inability to understand sarcasm.

The Intern

Your Long National Nightmare Is Over

Hustler of Culture — Mon, 26 Mar 2007 12:23:24 EDT

As a lifelong Skins fan who watch Theesman take them to SB win, all I can say is "FINALLY"

Hustler of Culture

Your Long National Nightmare Is Over

Matt_T — Mon, 26 Mar 2007 12:23:17 EDT

Was this Norby's doing?

if so....NORBY!!!

Matt_T

Your Long National Nightmare Is Over

OchentaYcinco — Mon, 26 Mar 2007 12:22:50 EDT

So do I send fruit baskets and thank-you cards to someone in particular, or can I just write ESPN on the envelope?

OchentaYcinco

Your Long National Nightmare Is Over

PatrickEwingsGuarantee — Mon, 26 Mar 2007 12:22:48 EDT

I was talking to Joe Theisman at the hotel last night and he's planning to throw himself in front of a bus at his earliest opportunity.

PatrickEwingsGuarantee

Your Long National Nightmare Is Over

JebusHChrist — Mon, 26 Mar 2007 12:22:24 EDT

Kornheiser wasn't great, but Theismann is a first-class asshole that killed Tony at every opportunity. For Tony it was akin to trying to do stand-up with a room full of hecklers. Let's give Tony another chance.

JebusHChrist

Your Long National Nightmare Is Over

UkraineNotWeak aka Praying for a Bullpen — Mon, 26 Mar 2007 12:21:36 EDT

Thank God Joe has that life insurance pitchman career to fall back on.

UkraineNotWeak aka Praying for a Bullpen