Tiger, Or The No Name? - Deadspin Comments

Tiger, Or The No Name?

curtice — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 22:01:53 EDT

Golf is not a sport. Seriously--unless you're out of breath during play-- isn't it merely a skilled activity? Like Bocce Ball. Or smoking grass. It was really sad when Tiger didn't win more money.

curtice

Tiger, Or The No Name?

Longsnapper Jones — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 15:28:04 EDT

I mostly cheer for Tiger Woods to go away, just so people will stop caring about golf. Please.

Longsnapper Jones

Tiger, Or The No Name?

soozycue — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 12:08:13 EDT

First, I've always wanted to say this: Fo Shizzle.

Second, Phil Mickelson has awesome man boobs and the Masters always makes me want to stay up til 3am playing Tiger07.

soozycue

Tiger, Or The No Name?

Juancho — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 11:43:32 EDT

@UkraineNotWeak: Right, especially about Player. And even a guy like Tony Jacklin. I've only seen pictures, but Arnie's Army was truly something to behold.

But nobody was as snakebitten as Weiskopf.

Juancho

Tiger, Or The No Name?

Sigerson Holmes — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 11:37:24 EDT

@supermike3: You're referring to athletics, not sports.

Sigerson Holmes

Tiger, Or The No Name?

UkraineNotWeak — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 11:33:22 EDT

@Juancho:

I'm talking about the Palmer that Jack had to face when he first came out in the mid 60s. Clearly, there is no one out there that Tiger faces that matches that level of talent and competitiveness. Player during the 60s and 70s was up there too. The guy I pity during that timespan is Tom Weiskopf. Good player who happen to come along at the wrong time.

UkraineNotWeak

Tiger, Or The No Name?

David Hume — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 11:27:11 EDT

@supermike3:

Don't feed the trolls, it makes them gassier than they already are.

David Hume

Tiger, Or The No Name?

Juancho — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 11:26:09 EDT

@UkraineNotWeak:I see your point, but by 1986, Palmer was pretty much done, Player was on the downside of his career...but I'll give you Trevino, and especially, Watson.

Tiger has Phil (when his head is not up his ass), Goosen (but after yesterday, I think he's scared), and Els (but maybe not anymore...he's disappeared). I think the entire field is so much better though. Johnson just came off the Nationwide Tour, which he tore up. Guys coming out of college and the mini-tours can compete with the big boys on tricked-up courses, and while it may be not week-in, week-out, they collectively have the goods.

I'm interested in the young player I can call the "next great disappointment". Charles Howell, Aaron Baddelay, Justin Rose...they've come and gone. After reading a feature on him in Esquire this month, my money is now on Adam Scott.

Juancho

Tiger, Or The No Name?

UkraineNotWeak — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 11:18:18 EDT

@Juancho:

Then again, Jack had to face Palmer, Player, Watson and Trevino during the course of his career. Seriously, do any of the guys, besides maybe Phil, approach that level of competition.

UkraineNotWeak

Tiger, Or The No Name?

Juancho — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 11:13:53 EDT

@UkraineNotWeak: True, but the competition level and the equipment are not the same. Woods faces tougher opposition that all possess better tools on tougher courses.

He won't be the new Nicklaus until he wins #19. But that 1986 win is something amazing.

Juancho

Tiger, Or The No Name?

Hank Scorpio-Steinbrenner — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 11:10:27 EDT

@Kathleen Turner Overdrive: That's why Nixon was a bowler.

Hank Scorpio-Steinbrenner

Tiger, Or The No Name?

supermike3 — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 11:08:54 EDT

@Sigerson Holmes: it's like swimming, or skiing, or running, or skating, or long jump, or high jump, or curling, or snowboarding, or skateboarding... in that you can't play defense. none of those are sports. the only REAL sport is wrestling, obviously.

supermike3

Tiger, Or The No Name?

UkraineNotWeak — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 11:04:17 EDT

Witness how Tiger could not pull off the shots, the birdie putts on 14 and 16 and the approach shots on 15 and 17, down the stretch when the pressure was on just like any other pro. Once again, the one crease in Tiger's armor was exposed. He has never come from behind to win a major. Tiger is at his best when he has the lead and he can shoot for the middle of the green and dare the others to pull off the great shots. As soon as the shoe is on the other foot, he fails just like them. Until he pulls off a Jack in 1986 like comeback, I can't put him on the same level as Nicklaus.

UkraineNotWeak

Tiger, Or The No Name?

Kathleen Turner Overdrive — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 11:02:26 EDT

@Hank Scorpio: I always knew golf was Communist.

Kathleen Turner Overdrive

Tiger, Or The No Name?

Philistine — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 11:00:32 EDT

Drive for show and pray for dough.

Philistine

Tiger, Or The No Name?

Cinnamon Girl — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 10:59:37 EDT

@preciousroy: From the sounds of it, everything is a spiritual quest for Zach and his Jesus.

Cinnamon Girl

Tiger, Or The No Name?

Hank Scorpio-Steinbrenner — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 10:56:47 EDT

You know what I think it is? There is no Steinbrenner, no Machiavelli who goes out and buys the best players and out spends everybody else to win. Can't happen, everybody has access to the best equipment, and its all on them, if Tiger isn't contending on the third day, his only option is to play better.

That and usually the inevitable melt downs of anybody contending with him. I got to give Johnson credit for that, he knew Tiger was within striking distance and he kept his cool. But its fun to watch these guys fold like a cheap card table Charlie Weis sat on because Tiger is within a stroke of them.

Hank Scorpio-Steinbrenner

Tiger, Or The No Name?

David Hume — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 10:55:40 EDT

@preciousroy: obviously not a golfer

I'd say the odds of Sabbatini making that putt are 2 in 10 tries, maybe 3 in 10. Kinda like a decent batter in baseball. From my perspective, that putt, or Retief's shot out of the trees are in the same group as "Catching a deep fade in the corner of the end zone" or "PG putting a teardrop up over C in the lane"

At least we can agree that Nascar eats hog.

David Hume

Tiger, Or The No Name?

Sigerson Holmes — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 10:53:29 EDT

OK. One more time, people: Golf is a boring sport for fat morons because golfers are not competing against each other. You can't play defense. It's like swimming. Or biathalons.

I'd sooner watch paint dry.

Sigerson Holmes

Tiger, Or The No Name?

Michael Bertin — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 10:53:04 EDT

@Cinnamon Girl: No. I have. I've even enjoyed it. I don't have a problem with golf itself. I just can't stand the way people fetishize it like it's some sort of spirtitual quest.

Which it clearly is for Zach and his Jesus.

Michael Bertin

Tiger, Or The No Name?

Dread — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 10:51:48 EDT

Where are all the articles about Tiger blowing a lead, choking, not being able to come from behind, getting too old, not having the competitive drive anymore, etc...? I mean, Jack Nicholson would have run up two holes, planted his friggin five iron in Zach's head, and then stepped over his corpse on the way to an easy victory.

Anyway, I watched Columbo nail that John Cassavettes bastid to the wall. TO THE WALL!

And, yes, I know I said Nicholson instead of Nicklaus. That joke never gets old to me.

Dread

Tiger, Or The No Name?

Cinnamon Girl — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 10:51:02 EDT

@preciousroy: Clearly, sir, you have never played golf.

Cinnamon Girl

Tiger, Or The No Name?

Juancho — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 10:48:26 EDT

@being sven: +1.

Juancho

Tiger, Or The No Name?

Michael Bertin — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 10:38:37 EDT

Did anybody see that eagle putt that Rory Sabatinni sunk on the 8th? He actually putted it off the green, but the break was so steep that it came 16 feet back into the green and went in.

Exactly why my level of caring for golf is minimal. The ball wasn't moving and nobody was trying to prevent him from hitting the ball in the hole. Sure, it probably wansn't an easy shot but on the scale of athletic accomplishments, "sinking a putt" is probably just above "steering left for 3 hours."

Michael Bertin

Tiger, Or The No Name?

Off The Baggie — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 10:37:45 EDT

@David_Hume: I completely agree. As fun as it is to see Tiger wipe the course with the rest of the field, it's hard to crown him the greatest when guys keep throwing up on themselves whenever he steps on the course. Watching Johnson play so well and see Tiger vomit in his own lap was a nice change of pace.

Off The Baggie

Tiger, Or The No Name?

SpicyTunaRoll — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 10:37:11 EDT

I have to say I enjoy it more when Tiger is not destroying the field. For one thing, it actually makes the announcers have to work a little. Pretty easy to simply gush over Tiger's achievments, which are obviously historic, so far.

Good for Zach. But I thought Saved by the Bell was always a bit overrated.

SpicyTunaRoll

Tiger, Or The No Name?

Unleash The Dragon — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 10:36:38 EDT

Go Bulldogs!

I have nothing to add, but it's so infrequent that an alum of my undergrad is noteworthy in sport that I feel like I have to throw that in.

Unleash The Dragon

Tiger, Or The No Name?

being_sven — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 10:35:07 EDT

Didn't Zach get the memo?

The US Open is for the No-Names to win...

The Masters is for the big, established names to win...

being_sven

Tiger, Or The No Name?

David Hume — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 10:34:43 EDT

From a golf fan's perspective, this was one of the most enjoyable Masters' in a long time. How many lead changes? How many ridiculous putts holed by Rory Sabbatini? How many times would a guy a stroke or two off the lead watch his chip roll off the green back to his feet twice or splash his tee shot? When Tiger is running away with it, sure, it's fun to see perfection, but it's about as suspenseful as watching local cops try to arrest the Terminator. Witnessing Johnson do what he did with Retief Goosen and Tiger breathing down his neck was amazing - a double bogey by Johnson and a string of birdies by Tiger seemed almost inexorable, and the fact that it didn't play out like that made it that much cooler.

[/golfnerd]

David Hume

Tiger, Or The No Name?

MattP — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 10:34:26 EDT

I was rooting for Tiger because of the potential for awkward high fives.

MattP

Tiger, Or The No Name?

Off The Baggie — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 10:32:13 EDT

Did anybody see that eagle putt that Rory Sabatinni sunk on the 8th? He actually putted it off the green, but the break was so steep that it came 16 feet back into the green and went in.

That may be the greatest putt ever at the Masters... Too bad he lost...

Off The Baggie

Tiger, Or The No Name?

Lt. Exley — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 10:28:49 EDT

When contemplating how to embrace Jesus' teaching in my every day life, "take it back slow, keep your left arm straight, keep your head still and finish your swing" had not occurred to me. Must be in one of the lost Gospels.

Lt. Exley

Tiger, Or The No Name?

senioritis — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 10:27:44 EDT

perhaps zach johnson was thanking jesus so profusely because he was thankful the 'grump' didnt get him

senioritis

Tiger, Or The No Name?

Why Not Jon Lovitz? — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 10:25:27 EDT

Everyone knows that Jesus was watching Bowling on ESPN.

Why Not Jon Lovitz?

Tiger, Or The No Name?

Melanie — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 10:21:58 EDT

It's fine and all to love Jesus - especially, you know, on Easter - but does Zach Johnson really think Jesus was with him when he 3-putted 17 for a bogey? Maybe The Lord just wanted to make it interesting.

Melanie

Tiger, Or The No Name?

UkraineNotWeak — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 10:21:24 EDT

Speak for yourself. I never root for Tiger. I'm sick of the media spooging all over themselves everytime he wins or threatens to win.

UkraineNotWeak

Tiger, Or The No Name?

Weed Against Speed — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 10:20:51 EDT

The only conclusion I can make out of results of The Masters is that Jesus doesn't care about one-quarter Chinese, one-quarter Thai, one-quarter African, one-eighth Native American, and one-eighth Dutch people.

Weed Against Speed

Tiger, Or The No Name?

grungedave — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 10:18:48 EDT

If there's a golf tournament, but Tiger does not win - did it really take place?

cause I'm going to forget about Zach faster than I forgot about that Ben Curtis guy (or Todd Hamilton... or Rich Beem)

grungedave

Tiger, Or The No Name?

Juancho — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 10:18:30 EDT

Will, excellent post- this is exactly how I feel. I just want Tiger to destroy, engulf, devour...whatever.

Not to make fun of the guy, but a champion named Zach? I mean, that sounds like sack, which makes me think of a guy's ju...

What's funniest about this is that Tiger was struggling to play middling golf, and still almost beat the field. Appleby threw it away on the front 9, FIGJAM crapped the bed, Els (remember him?) didn't even make the weekend, and Goosen didn't look like he wanted any part of a championship dogfight.

FYI: Speaking of Will, the most awkward moment of the day yesterday had to be Nantz making the "iron will" pun about Johnson's new kid.

Juancho

Tiger, Or The No Name?

BigTenObsession — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 10:17:52 EDT

@Stev D:

God to Johnson: You're welcome, but it wasn't me. I really hate golf.

BigTenObsession

Tiger, Or The No Name?

Tuffy — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 10:17:11 EDT

@Bob Sheppard's Flock: Those indoor cycling workouts are really doing the trick.

Tuffy

Tiger, Or The No Name?

Stev D — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 10:16:28 EDT

I'd hate to sound like TMQ, but giving so much thanks to god after winning a fucking golf tournament is really grating.

Stev D

Tiger, Or The No Name?

Bob Sheppards Flock — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 10:15:27 EDT

I was rooting for Tiger simply because he has a much hotter wife.

Bob Sheppards Flock

Tiger, Or The No Name?

PatrickEwingsGuarantee — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 10:14:24 EDT

Iowa cut out the middle man and just gave Johnson's scholarship to Jesus.

PatrickEwingsGuarantee

Tiger, Or The No Name?

Analrapist — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 10:14:22 EDT

@AnalRapist: Masters.

Analrapist

Tiger, Or The No Name?

BigTenObsession — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 10:14:19 EDT

Who did what now?

BigTenObsession

Tiger, Or The No Name?

Moonshine Mike — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 10:13:54 EDT

I do enjoy golf. I just don't get it.

Moonshine Mike

Tiger, Or The No Name?

Analrapist — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 10:13:34 EDT

@Barry Lutz: That is certainly a more interesting topic than Zach Johnson winning the Majors.

Analrapist

Tiger, Or The No Name?

Blackguard — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 10:12:59 EDT

Jesus would like to thank Zach Johnson...

Blackguard

Tiger, Or The No Name?

Probity and Sport — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 10:12:36 EDT

@Barry Lutz: Nope. Her face is stuck that way. I'm now convinced.

I actually thought this was one of the more entertaining Masters. It really came down to the end there.

Probity and Sport

Tiger, Or The No Name?

Kathleen Turner Overdrive — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 10:11:24 EDT

As we all know, it's tough to cheer for the Yankees.

It's tough for me NOT to cheer for the Yankees. Derek Jeter's way too dreamy.

Kathleen Turner Overdrive

Tiger, Or The No Name?

Barry Lutz — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 10:10:11 EDT

Is it possible for the cute Snorg Tees girl to close her mouth when she smiles?

Barry Lutz

Tiger, Or The No Name?

Roxanne Put on the Red Light Racicot — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 10:08:05 EDT

Zach Johnson = Joaquin Phoenix. I was not entertained.

Roxanne Put on the Red Light Racicot