What Will be the Next Sportswriter Confession? - Deadspin Comments

What Will be the Next Sportswriter Confession?

filthyfowl — Fri, 27 Apr 2007 20:03:08 EDT

I wonder if Dan Shaugnessy's confession is that he has Eurotophobia.

filthyfowl

What Will be the Next Sportswriter Confession?

the notorious N.O.I.S.B. — Fri, 27 Apr 2007 16:36:17 EDT

Congratulations to Jemele Hill!!!!

She is the first recipient of the award named after the guy that gave her her big break.

Well deserved. Well deserved, indeed!

the notorious N.O.I.S.B.

What Will be the Next Sportswriter Confession?

Helmet Touch — Fri, 27 Apr 2007 16:06:48 EDT

@Newspaper Hack:
That's definitely gotta be an entry in the next pants party for March Madness.

Helmet Touch

What Will be the Next Sportswriter Confession?

Newspaper Hack — Fri, 27 Apr 2007 16:03:07 EDT

I think I should change the name of my blog to "Stuart Scott Mandingo Party." Fuck it - I'm doing it.

Newspaper Hack

What Will be the Next Sportswriter Confession?

Hot Carl Monday — Fri, 27 Apr 2007 15:50:29 EDT

Hands rove from chicken wings to breasts, from chips to hips, from guac to cock. One couple grind by the sink and feed each other meatballs.

I can't tell if this is about a Mandingo party or Chris Berman's wet dreams.

Hot Carl Monday

What Will be the Next Sportswriter Confession?

Chamomiles Davis — Fri, 27 Apr 2007 15:43:26 EDT

Bill Conlin likes to smell his own farts: 7-2

Chamomiles Davis

What Will be the Next Sportswriter Confession?

HugsFromHarold — Fri, 27 Apr 2007 15:42:48 EDT

Skip Bayless admits that he knows that he sucks: 3-1.

Mitch Albom admits that he's a self-loathing athiest that enjoys kicking puppies and homelss people: 1-10.

HugsFromHarold

What Will be the Next Sportswriter Confession?

HeavyPettingZoo — Fri, 27 Apr 2007 15:37:09 EDT

@Big Daddy Drew:

Big Jim Slade doesn't call people. Big Jim Slade breaks through walls and doors and swoops up your woman.

HeavyPettingZoo

What Will be the Next Sportswriter Confession?

Drew Magary — Fri, 27 Apr 2007 15:31:36 EDT

Sorenson can be expecting a call from Big Jim Slade any day now.

Drew Magary

What Will be the Next Sportswriter Confession?

Botswana Meat Commission FC — Fri, 27 Apr 2007 15:29:10 EDT

@HeavyPettingZoo:
If you're hosting a mandingo party, the smell is the least of your problems.

Botswana Meat Commission FC

What Will be the Next Sportswriter Confession?

Kid Canada — Fri, 27 Apr 2007 15:27:43 EDT

AJ is Mr. Perfect? I thought he was dead! Can he spit his gum out and smack it with his hand before it hits the ground?

Kid Canada

What Will be the Next Sportswriter Confession?

HeavyPettingZoo — Fri, 27 Apr 2007 15:24:16 EDT

Is it racist if I think that whoever hosted the Mandingo party is going to have a REALLY hard time getting rid of the BooDiSsy smell?

BooDiSsy = Booty, Dick, and Pussy. I learned that term watching an African American movie when I was younger. Maybe Booty Call or something like that...

HeavyPettingZoo

What Will be the Next Sportswriter Confession?

George of the Jungle — Fri, 27 Apr 2007 15:21:09 EDT

@HeavyPettingZoo: & @Weed Against Speed:

Stuart Scott Mandigo Party - too scary to think about.

George of the Jungle

What Will be the Next Sportswriter Confession?

Drew Magary — Fri, 27 Apr 2007 15:18:57 EDT

Simmons confesses to being from Greenwich, CT: 5,000,000:1

Drew Magary

What Will be the Next Sportswriter Confession?

Weed Against Speed — Fri, 27 Apr 2007 15:17:25 EDT

Stuart Scott admits his eye was the result of a #### exerience gone horribly wrong: 2/1

Weed Against Speed

What Will be the Next Sportswriter Confession?

HeavyPettingZoo — Fri, 27 Apr 2007 15:16:06 EDT

That Mandingo article actually scared me a little.

HeavyPettingZoo

What Will be the Next Sportswriter Confession?

Moletran — Fri, 27 Apr 2007 15:16:04 EDT

"Would anybody be surprised if Lupica couldn't ride in a car with a heated seat without exploding all over himself?"

Fucking hilarious, balls.

Moletran

What Will be the Next Sportswriter Confession?

MattMillenFanClub — Fri, 27 Apr 2007 15:15:36 EDT

Greenburg will admit he takes anal. From Cowherd.

MattMillenFanClub

What Will be the Next Sportswriter Confession?

Weed Against Speed — Fri, 27 Apr 2007 15:14:27 EDT

Mitch Albom admits he can hear what you're thinking: 5/1.

Weed Against Speed

What Will be the Next Sportswriter Confession?

MattMillenFanClub — Fri, 27 Apr 2007 15:12:47 EDT

someone kicks your ass until your tits bleed

that's gonna hurt! use nipple tape (running joke at ladies. . . )

MattMillenFanClub

What Will be the Next Sportswriter Confession?

DennyCrane — Fri, 27 Apr 2007 15:11:56 EDT

tellingthepriestthatiwanttolosemyweiner....jpg - HAAAA!!!

DennyCrane

What Will be the Next Sportswriter Confession?

Metsterioso — Fri, 27 Apr 2007 15:11:04 EDT

We don't need cruel, insensitive people like A.J. Daulerio to make their lives even more unbearable.

Of course we do.

Metsterioso

What Will be the Next Sportswriter Confession?

David Hume — Fri, 27 Apr 2007 15:09:50 EDT

@Luis Sojo Jr.: It was still probably better than the last Dingo Party I was at - all the bitches were dogs.

[\slinks out of room]

David Hume

What Will be the Next Sportswriter Confession?

Botswana Meat Commission FC — Fri, 27 Apr 2007 15:07:37 EDT

I read that Mandingo story and now my brain is furiously trying to erase all memory of its existence.

Botswana Meat Commission FC

What Will be the Next Sportswriter Confession?

Kathleen Turner Overdrive — Fri, 27 Apr 2007 15:07:21 EDT

"and if I ever have a thimble of the amount of courage and self-awareness that shim has"

Fixed.

Kathleen Turner Overdrive

What Will be the Next Sportswriter Confession?

ltwinslow — Fri, 27 Apr 2007 15:06:17 EDT

Does he giggle and point at "retards" and "freaks" too?

he also exploits the homeless.

ltwinslow

What Will be the Next Sportswriter Confession?

crazyjoedavola — Fri, 27 Apr 2007 15:05:46 EDT

Whitlock admits wiping his ass with MIKE LUPICA*

/fixed

crazyjoedavola

What Will be the Next Sportswriter Confession?

badbabu — Fri, 27 Apr 2007 15:05:06 EDT

plops down on her IKEA couch, throws on her Five for Fighting records and sifts through the J. Crew catalog.

Ohhhhh shit. I'm 2/3rds white.

badbabu

What Will be the Next Sportswriter Confession?

freetz — Fri, 27 Apr 2007 15:05:03 EDT

Ernie Johnson died in a car crash on Christmas Eve 2004 and was replaced by his own evil twin: 5/2

freetz

What Will be the Next Sportswriter Confession?

being_sven — Fri, 27 Apr 2007 15:05:02 EDT

Tom Soresen? Really, AJ? How in the world did you ever come across his gin-soaked, bitter columns?

Having moved from Charlotte, I thought I'd escaped Tom Talk forever.

Curses!

being_sven

What Will be the Next Sportswriter Confession?

Von Hayes — Fri, 27 Apr 2007 15:04:40 EDT

Dan Shaughnessy admits that the blood on Schilling's sock came from his vagina.

Von Hayes

What Will be the Next Sportswriter Confession?

Carson — Fri, 27 Apr 2007 15:03:39 EDT

but still, you don't see that many transgendered people at Laker games.

Does looking like one count? Because, as Tuffy mentioned, Dyan Cannon's mug gave me serious pause.

Carson

What Will be the Next Sportswriter Confession?

Refreshments in the Narthex — Fri, 27 Apr 2007 15:02:08 EDT

Jeremy Schaap admits he appeared in Night at the Roxbury 6/1

Refreshments in the Narthex

What Will be the Next Sportswriter Confession?

44 in a Row — Fri, 27 Apr 2007 15:00:00 EDT

It appears that sick is a nice word for saying what A.J. is.

44 in a Row

What Will be the Next Sportswriter Confession?

Ron — Fri, 27 Apr 2007 14:59:07 EDT

You had me until you said Jemele Hill was good. Then you lost credibility and one ball. So now you're just "The Ball."

Ron

What Will be the Next Sportswriter Confession?

A Pimp Named DaveR — Fri, 27 Apr 2007 14:57:22 EDT

New tag:
A.J. Daulerio Is The Things Which Mike Penner Will Soon Be Physically, If Not Fortitudinally, Lacking

A Pimp Named DaveR

What Will be the Next Sportswriter Confession?

Harry Pelotas — Fri, 27 Apr 2007 14:56:33 EDT

Well, I learned what a Mandingo Party is. Thanks, AJ.

Harry Pelotas

What Will be the Next Sportswriter Confession?

Green Weenie — Fri, 27 Apr 2007 14:55:23 EDT

Whitlock admits wiping his ass with his underwear: NL

Green Weenie

What Will be the Next Sportswriter Confession?

quick — Fri, 27 Apr 2007 14:54:56 EDT

AJ, you make fun of "retards" and "freaks"? Why have you been holding back all the good jokes from us?

quick

What Will be the Next Sportswriter Confession?

David Hume — Fri, 27 Apr 2007 14:53:50 EDT

6/1 - Lee Corso admits to trichotillomania. Would certainly explain the need for a merkin.

David Hume

What Will be the Next Sportswriter Confession?

diddly — Fri, 27 Apr 2007 14:53:22 EDT

@George of the Jungle: Mariotti confesses that he enjoys cock: 1/100.

diddly

What Will be the Next Sportswriter Confession?

Biff Pocoroba — Fri, 27 Apr 2007 14:51:55 EDT

BALLS.

Biff Pocoroba

What Will be the Next Sportswriter Confession?

George of the Jungle — Fri, 27 Apr 2007 14:51:20 EDT

Mariotti confesses that he enjoys cockfighting: 1/3

George of the Jungle

What Will be the Next Sportswriter Confession?

Seabass — Fri, 27 Apr 2007 14:51:14 EDT

No "Mandingo Parties" tag?

Seabass

What Will be the Next Sportswriter Confession?

call — Fri, 27 Apr 2007 14:50:42 EDT

Also: Huffpo readers with no sense of humor? Shocking!

call

What Will be the Next Sportswriter Confession?

twenty-four hour priapism — Fri, 27 Apr 2007 14:50:22 EDT

@horseycraze: admitting that he never visits the white sox clubhouse

twenty-four hour priapism

What Will be the Next Sportswriter Confession?

ArkansasFred — Fri, 27 Apr 2007 14:50:00 EDT

It's lime!

ArkansasFred

What Will be the Next Sportswriter Confession?

12-Inch Idongivafuck Sandwich — Fri, 27 Apr 2007 14:49:27 EDT

No worries AJ, we like the picture you put of yourself on Eat The Press, and thanks for taking it Will!

12-Inch Idongivafuck Sandwich

What Will be the Next Sportswriter Confession?

twenty-four hour priapism — Fri, 27 Apr 2007 14:49:05 EDT

The next sportswriter confession will feature Jay Mariotti admitting that he visits the White Sox clubhouse because he can't conceal his boner in those kind of situations.

twenty-four hour priapism

What Will be the Next Sportswriter Confession?

Newspaper Hack — Fri, 27 Apr 2007 14:47:55 EDT

There those people go again, being all serious. I went out with a girl like that, once. My humor consists of ironic riffs on sports and politics, and she took every joke to start a debate. By the second bottle of wine, I had to laugh at the absurdity of someone without a sense of humor.

Newspaper Hack

What Will be the Next Sportswriter Confession?

call — Fri, 27 Apr 2007 14:47:47 EDT

When I saw the headline on Drudge about a tranny sportswriter I swear to God I clicked it fully expecting to see Woody Page's toothy smile staring back at me.

call

What Will be the Next Sportswriter Confession?

theWolf — Fri, 27 Apr 2007 14:46:55 EDT

I'm horrified by the idea of Daulerio having children. *shudder*

theWolf

What Will be the Next Sportswriter Confession?

Matt_T — Fri, 27 Apr 2007 14:46:46 EDT

Christine Daniels had the balls seems more appropriate.

Matt_T

What Will be the Next Sportswriter Confession?

Tuffy — Fri, 27 Apr 2007 14:44:46 EDT

Dyan Cannon doesn't appreciate being forgotten.

Tuffy

What Will be the Next Sportswriter Confession?

Phony Gwynn — Fri, 27 Apr 2007 14:44:43 EDT

I know they're LA sports fans, but still, you don't see that many transgendered people at Laker games. Maybe, like, four at the most.

Yeah, but that's just what's visible on TV. Namely, the two people on either side of Jack Nicholson.

Phony Gwynn

What Will be the Next Sportswriter Confession?

diddly — Fri, 27 Apr 2007 14:42:21 EDT

Clearly, the Huffington Post readers are not aware that you are, in fact, the balls.

diddly