<![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter - Deadspin Comments]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter - Deadspin Comments]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter]]> Outstanding comments Mrs. Sommerville. But I must clairfy, I do keep the laundry in tip top shape down here.

RachelRayIsTheDevil

]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter]]> Nope, I'm still stokke'n it.

Evgeni Merkin

]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter]]> First of all, the most ogled Victor Sailer photo of Allison Stokke first appeared on dyestat.com, a high school running web site. That web site was founded by John Dye, a man in his mid-60's who has a particular fondness for putting photos of high school hotties on his site. Hot photos of minor-aged girls means page hits which means advertising dollars. Many of the hotties that DyeStat incessantly promotes during high school perform poorly in college because they are burned-out from being discussed in a sexual manner on the internet for so many years. John Dye sold DyeStat to Student Sports, a subsidiary of Nike, a few years ago but he still roams the sidelines every weekend as DyeStat's "chief photographer", looking for the next Allison Stokke presumably.

DyeStat to this day is particularly notorious for the bashing and objectification of female athletes. A cursory review of their message boards will prove it. The sad thing is DyeStat is a high school running web site run by adults. One would never know it.

The other person involved with blowing the Stokke photo completely out of proportion is Weldon Johnson, the co-founder of letsrun.com. He's a man in his early 30's. Johnson allows "hotness" threads on his message board, which does not require registration and has an "anything goes" attitude. Most of the inappropriate comments about Stokke seem to be written by older men on letsrun. Only extremely lurid comments are removed, and only infrequently. Anti-President Bush threads tend to disappear quickly on letsrun, but "hotness" threads tend to last forever--with thousands of posts.

The sad thing is, beside the sexual objectification of minor-aged female athletes in exchange for page hits and advertising dollars, is how humiliating this must be for the girls themselves. Any parent of an attractive teenage daughter would be crazy to have her participate in track and field at any level above intramurals. What strikes me as tragic is the fact that Allison Stokke and others of her ilk are national class athletes who have worked extremely hard for their success in the sport. The message board degradation is palpable.

The John Dyes, Weldon Johnsons and others in sports media need to take a look in their mirror and ask themselves whether they would appreciate forty-year-old men who live in their mother's basement analyzing their daughter's ass and boobs (while still in high school) on an internet web site. Or seventeen-year-old high school boys who have never been out on a date because they've never been able to log off the internet long enough to even talk to a girl. That is the demographic we're talking about here, and for any webmaster with a brain and a bit of a backbone, it would seem easy to say, "ENOUGH!"


Vanessa_Somerville_Marine_IL

]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter]]> Trackback

]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter]]> It's sad that when a young woman and/or her family suggest that she's not a braindead sex object, she's the one who gets criticized.

No, I don't have a daughter, and I'm not a woman. I just think there are a lot of creepy weirdos out there who will do anything they can to justify what is, essentially, spying on the high school girls next door.

TMC

]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter]]> Is there a BBW version of her to popularize the women's shot?

pimpmyPR

]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter]]> @Big Hairy Sack: You're telling me. After that post, I sort of wandered back in and kind of re-upped for another three months.

Microbano

]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter]]> 141 comments and not one reference to or quote from Custom's 'Hey Mister'? Really?

being_sven

]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter]]> It looks like she could pop your head like a grape between her thighs!

krsflan

]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter]]> Before Allison Stokke used the pole to vault, women just danced with them...so she's a trailblazer.

Satyr Icon

]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter]]> @Abe Froman: +1

She can't leave the house alone? And she lives in Newport? I've been to Newport, the scariest thing I saw was a guy littering. I'm pretty sure the SWAT team was called, but they were too busy removing a cat from a tree to catch the guy.

quick

]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter]]> 12 years of food and lodging for child through public school? $100,000

Billable hours lost through support to daughter's blossoming track and field career? $500,000

Meal and drinks with WP beat writer? $80

Future earnings potential of hot, athletic daughter caught up in viral interwebs campaign? Priceless

Nabisco

]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter]]> Is it still too late to ask that Baby Mets get cankles?

Metschick

]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter]]> I would like to take this opportunity to announce that I have decided to watch the women's pole vault in the 2008 Olympics.

Barry Lutz

]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter]]> Hey doll, do you live alone?

MrSinlinlin

]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter]]> What a whiner...in 10 years, with a 2 year old and another on the way, she'll be trotting out this coverage with pride

Fawn Liebowitz

]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter]]> "Ufford writes tongue-and-cheek items"

The award for best grammar in a national newspaper goes to...

I agree with whomever said guys and girls were checking her out at the coffeeshop long before this photo was on the internet.

Dr. Michael Mancini

]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter]]> Has his daughter's pictures shown up on any of the computers in the Cleveland Public Library system yet?

HappyFeltonsGloryHole

]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter]]> Jailbait!

blackaces

]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter]]> please dont let my newborn daughter be hot....

Hit Bull Win Steak

]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter]]> According to the Wikipedia entry on pole vaulting, however the pole has to be long and flexible.

If it's too rigid, she can't get the pendulum movement going fast enough, so it'd be impossible to get into the basket position.

shtickless

]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter]]> She's very good at putting the pole in the box.

shtickless

]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter]]> @Microbano: A buddy gave me his Sapphic account after his wife caught his porn stash on his PC. That's the gift that keeps giving.

Big Hairy Sack

]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter]]> She should just go the Jenn Sterger route and use this newfound fame to make some money. She posed for Maxim and Playboy, and now writes a column on cnnsi.com!

PSU532

]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter]]> As a lawyer father of two daughters (neither old enough yet to be hot to anyone but the sickest of the sick), I have already made my peace with the fact that, as they get older, many men will want to have sex with my daughters.

And by "making my peace," I mean "bought a Colt Peacemaker."

LeNoceur

]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter]]> hot pole vaulter write-up:
As the sun set Friday night, Stokke positioned her pole as if she were jousting and sprinted about 100 feet toward the bar. She ran on her tip-toes, like she'd learned from ballet. As she approached her mark, Stokke bent her pole into the ground and coiled her legs to her chest. She lifted upward, twisting her torso 180 degrees as she passed over the bar. It was a beautiful clearance, and the crowd stood to applaud.

and if she were ugly:
TRACK AND FIELD
Newport Harbor defeats Mission Viejo

Abe Froman

]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter]]> As the soon-to-be father of a daughter, I feel like Kevin Spacey in American Beauty. First, I cancel my Sapphic Erotica subscription and now this.

Goddam, they don't tell you about this in prenatal class.

Microbano

]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter]]> Someone may have already posted this, but who cares???

MORE PICS!!!

DamnSkippy

]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter]]> @LostinTheOffice: I'm guessing he is familiar with the internet and the various blogs on it. This was a pretty big thing on various sports blogs for a week or so.

cameltrader

]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter]]> Don't like what's posted on the internet about your daughter? Don't fucking read it! We went through this with Stern, and guess what, you lose.

JakeFratelli

]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter]]> Mr Stokke has just sued Paul McCartney for writing, "I Saw Her Standing There."

HappyFeltonsGloryHole

]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter]]> Dino Cicerrelli and Doug Gilmour have just checked in. Lance Rentzel and Rafael Septien say hello.

HappyFeltonsGloryHole

]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter]]> Shut up Chip! The only thing you ever done was make a hot daughter.

WhatWouldJackMorrisDo?

]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter]]> @cameltrader:

How would the WP writer have gotten the month old story if he wasn't approaced?

He is a defense attorney he knows when to keep things out of the media if he wants to.

LostinTheOffice

]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter]]> @ArmansCopyOfSwank: And apparently I need to read comments more fully before replying to them.

ArmansCopyOfSwank

]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter]]> Will, I'm going to call bullshit on you. In reading that article, at no point does her father make a big deal about it. And to all the comments stating that he blew it up to a national story, I'm guessing the writer from the WP went to him, not the other way around. And yes, while he could have just not commented, all he does is explain to the writer what his family is going through with this new found publicity.

cameltrader

]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter]]> @preciousroy: Agreed. You can't use the "boys will be boys" defense and then not be ok with it when it gets turned around on your daughter. You reap what you sow, Mr. Stokke.

Moobs

]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter]]> @crazyjoedavola: I wasn't trying to tie porn or objectification or the internet fame of this girl to anything else, except to use them as examples of the general state of things. These are, as you pointed out, not recent things.

But I have sympathy for the father. Your most basic instinct is to protect your daughter, but how do you protect against the internet? So if he made a mistake by going to the press, then so be it. But you can't fault the guy for acting out on a basic parental instinct.

ArmansCopyOfSwank

]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter]]> So it's okay for younger guys to ogle older women, but older guys can't do the same to younger? Or they can't if it's your daughter?

Before the dad was just a complete fucking idiot for doing a Post story. Now he's a douchebag.

Michael Bertin

]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter]]> @Mix_Master_Meche:

Did I mis-read the article or did she set pole vaulting records as a freshman and now she is a senior...assuming she has gotten better I bet there is an increase in media attention.

Her video is at 150,000 hits since late April. A video of Lindsay Lohan's father got 52,000 hits yesterday. The storm was over until they approached the press. And so a couple extra media photographers showed up for a pole vaulting phenom's final meets of her high school career. Bo-ring

LostinTheOffice

]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter]]> Defense attorney Al Stokke, pleading on Friday for Judge Richard Tooheyto sentence teacher Sarah Bench-Salorioto only three years in prison, made the same argument for leniency I would have: "Where was she when Iwas 13?"

First of all, that hurt to read. Second of all, that's an actual defense?

twoeightnine

]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter]]> @ArmansCopyOfSwank: You're right but its still all bullshit. ANyone else think rape was invented when porn was? Beating of women is just a recent thing? This goes on all the time and since the beginning of time. I think the father is a douche because he blew it up to a national story. I am not questioning the dads motive, more his intelligence.

crazyjoedavola

]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter]]> @ArmansCopyOfSwank: I understand that, and I'm not trying to pick a fight. And I agree that right now her life isn't completely ruined. And I'm not gonna get into "what ifs" and all that, I'm just trying to say that everyone is spinning this as such a wonderful thing for this girl except it seems, for her and her family.

Mix Master Meche

]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter]]> Even the Colonel Sanders lookalike in the video was getting a good look at her.

Dewey Decimal System

]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter]]> @Mix_Master_Meche: To be blunt, we live in a society in which there is a great deal of sexual violence against women, and where the objectification of the female body is as much a commercial product as oil (and I say that as someone whose hard drive is filled with more porn than programs).

So while I agree with your points, nothing less than a significant and comprehensive revision of societal values is going to change the situation. And that's not going to happen at Deadspin.

If getting stared at it is the worst thing this woman goes through, she should consider herself very lucky.

ArmansCopyOfSwank

]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter]]> Just read the article. Complete bullshit. Way to fill your quota, Eli.

JakeFratelli

]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter]]> @twoeightnine:

I have a 4 yr old. Looks like me. I have already identified all the guys with Rebecca Lobo fetishes...Ufford!

LostinTheOffice

]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter]]> @Mix_Master_Meche: Yeah, you definitely have a hot daughter. Any chance she's going to take up any sports where national columnists can talk about her olive skin and toned muscles?

Oops Pow Surprise

]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter]]> yes

a single mother (with a penis)

]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter]]> frickin thing...here's the link...

http://www.ocregister.com/ocregister/news/local/article_93...

MeanMachine

]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter]]> @Reasonable Doubt for a Reasonable Price: @LostinTheOffice: People didn't forget. Someone made a fake MySpace and now she's being followed around by other media. I'm willing to say I'm not sure about any of this, but everyone else is so willing to make monsters out of her parents and a sex object out of a high school pole vaulter.

Mix Master Meche

]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter]]> Ultimate irony: her father defended a teacher whoo had sex with two 13 year olds

MeanMachine

]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter]]> I fully expect to get flamed and tagged as a feminazi harpy for this, but here goes...

I think it's pretty obvious this woman wasn't looking for this sort of attention. Usually, the girlie pics over at WL are posed, staged photos of women pulled from magazines, and presumably the women benefitted from the publication of those photos. Stokke was photographed at a track meet, wearing a standard women's track uniform, doing her pole vault thing. She looks killer doing it, and I certainly wouldn't blame her for trying to capitalize on her newfound notoriety. But still it boils down to this: somebody took a picture of her and posted it on the internet without her consent, and now she's become spank material. This would make some women happy, but obviously not this one. I can't blame her or her parents for being pissed, it seems like the equivalent of some pervert harrassing you on the street, except times thousands. How would you feel if something similar happened to your gf/sister/wife?

I guess what I'm saying is that simply Existing While Hot and Female doesn't mean Stokke wants the sort of attention she's received, and there's plenty of other women who WANT the attention, so leave this one alone.

MizNikki

]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter]]> @twoeightnine:

I'm sorry, I have Cardinals ERA on the brain. That should have been .90%.

Burnsy

]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter]]> @LostinTheOffice:

Apparently I need to start drinking before work again. That post was unintelligible.

LostinTheOffice

]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter]]> FYI, there are about 90% of us commenters and bloggers who are destined to have daughters thanks to karma.

I think that you're overestimating the number of you that will actually have the chance to have a daughter.

twoeightnine

]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter]]> @thesepretzels: You mean we've been doing it all wrong?!

Oops Pow Surprise

]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter]]> @thesepretzels: That was just for anyone who's new to the internets. Just like bold or caps means what is being said is more correct than another statement.

Mix Master Meche

]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter]]> @Mix_Master_Meche:
I guess my question if she doesn't like the attention, is why approach a NATIONAL newspaper? Why any media at all? To tell everyone that they are scanning the web to look for stalkers?

I mean all they had to do was ask the paper not to use her real name. Either they are COMPLETELY unaware of how fast information travels in the "Information Age" or complete AWARE of it.

This is either a case of ingenious marketing or parents who have convinced her that the outside world is more full of perverts than it reallly is. (present company excluded)

LostinTheOffice

]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter]]> That was supposed to be: @Weed Against Speed:

ArkansasFred

]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter]]> Even Chris Hansen is poppin' half a stack right now.

ArkansasFred

]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter]]> somehow i imagine we'll be seeing her face (and body) plastered all over team usa promos in a couple of years. it's not sex, it's patriotism.

I Heart Poop

]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter]]> @Mix_Master_Meche: So instead of a bunch of bloggers reading about her, seeing a photo, and forgetting it two days later, her father puts her in a national newspaper with more photos? And you think this is the correct way to solve the problem? That's insane. See that bold? It means I think you're nuts.

Now if you'll excuse me? I'm going to go draft my Motion to Quash the Subpoena that I'm undoubtedly going to be served with now.

Reasonable Doubt for a Reasonable Price

]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter]]> @Mix_Master_Meche:

Allison could be a radical feminist all she wants, but she'll still look smoking hot with hairy pits.

@crazyjoedavola:

He's doing quite a good job. Joe Simpson could learn a thing or two from Allan.

Burnsy

]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter]]> @Mix_Master_Meche: To all: please note proper future use of italics.

thesepretzels

]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter]]> Peter King think Allan Stoeke is a cry baby.

Jefferson DArcy

]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter]]> For all you and I know, Allison Stokke is a radical feminist that hates Maxim.

Doesn't matter. I bet she loves money.

OchentaYcinco

]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter]]> @Mix_Master_Meche: I get it. You have a hot daughter, don't you? She got a myspace?

Oops Pow Surprise

]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter]]> @Burnsy: As one of those karma laden people (2 daughters), I will say this. Nice going Mr. Stokke. I might not be a smart guy, but a blog on with leather, and a youtube video does not have the same reach as the Washington Post. She is 18, hot, and apparently has some money (dads a lawyer).

crazyjoedavola

]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter]]> @Oops Pow Surprise: Precisely.

Weed Against Speed

]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter]]> Note to self: pose as a college student wherever the hell she's going. I smell a sitcom.

Moobs

]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter]]> @Reasonable Doubt for a Reasonable Price: Not everyone in the world thinks the pinnacle of their life is a Maxim cover and the lusting eyes of everyone in America. For all you and I know, Allison Stokke is a radical feminist that hates Maxim. Or she's what everyone is hoping she is, which is a glassy eyed cum dumpster. The point is we don't know, and this article makes it sound like she doesn't enjoy this. See those italics? Means what I said is important.

Mix Master Meche

]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter]]> @Mix_Master_Meche: If said bikini photo originated on her MySpace account, then I have very little sympathy the girl.

"How dare you post a coquettish photo of me on the internet?! You know, the one I posted myself."

Charlie Kerfelds Jetsons Tee

]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter]]> @Mix_Master_Meche: Cynicism? Here? No way, not here

Jack Cobra

]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter]]> @thesepretzels:

+5. That's good, blunt comedy.

Burnsy

]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter]]> @Mix_Master_Meche: Put me down for one of each.

Reasonable Doubt for a Reasonable Price

]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter]]> So, should I just go ahead and subscribe to Maxim now?

OchentaYcinco

]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter]]> @Reasonable Doubt for a Reasonable Price:

I don't see Paris Hilton in her future. She is too smart for that.

I see her getting knocked up by Matt Leinart. Which is a much better career choice.

LostinTheOffice

]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter]]> @Mix_Master_Meche: So information that she made public shouldn't be made public? The what and the who?

Oops Pow Surprise

]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter]]> @LostinTheOffice:

She's got a full ride to Cal. She goes to bed at 9:57 p.m. every night, her favorite TV show is the Simple Life, her favorite food is pizza and her pillow smells like lavender. Sometimes when she sleeps she makes these cute little noises. Her closet is approximately 7-feet by 3-feet and the tree branch outside her window will give you splinters if you don't bring a thick towel.

I mean, um, who are we talking about?

Burnsy

]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter]]> @Mix_Master_Meche: Please include a link next time.

thesepretzels

]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter]]> Percentage of time spent reading this article:

Looking at picture: 90%
Scanning article to find link to more pictures: 10%

Athletic Supporter v0.42beta

]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter]]> @Mix_Master_Meche: I'd be more than willing to be her own personal sex sla--"chaperone" if she ever needs to leave the house.

Oops Pow Surprise

]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter]]> With this level of national exposure, I think she has a good shot at becoming the next Snorg tee girl.

Dread

]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter]]> @Jack Cobra: You may have forgotten about it, but the scumbag who runs Sports By Brooks didn't. He posted many more pictures of her including a picture of her in a bikini, which I assume was taken off her MySpace page. The fact that everyone here thinks this is all some kind of publicity stunt speaks to either a profound lack of decency or cynicism.

Mix Master Meche

]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter]]> I wonder if she gives good head. I'm going to ask her.

[/A.J. Nicholson]

JakeFratelli

]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter]]> @Moobs: Step 1: Have a hot daughter.

Step 2: .....

Step: Profit!

David Hume

]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter]]> Hey, Boss, I've got a great story. Can I fly out to California to interview an attractive 18-year-old girl? And put it all on expenses? Great. Thanks! See you in a week!

Unamerican

]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter]]> Young Penelope Cruz?

TheStarterWife

]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter]]> I can empathize with the family's concerns, but I'm guessing people at the coffee shop were staring at her even before her picture appeared on the internet.

El Knob Grande

]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter]]> FYI, there are about 90% of us commenters and bloggers who are destined to have daughters thanks to karma. I've already come to accept that I will have five, they will most likely all look like this girl and they will be whores. With that said, I'd like to tell Mr. Stokke that maybe the next time he has a smoking hot daughter, maybe don't encourage her in such a suggestive and innuendo-laden sport.

Stupid sexy pole vaulter.

Burnsy

]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter]]> @Mix_Master_Meche: Yeah, and having an article on her in the Washington Post changes that.

Can we just agree the father made a fuss just so she gets that Maxim offer the day after she graduates, makes a bundle, and goes off to live a happy life getting drunk and stoned while partying with Paris Hilton?

Reasonable Doubt for a Reasonable Price

]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter]]> Without the article I never would have seen the picture. Thanks for the pubic service Mr. Stokke.

By the way, does this guarantee she gets into the college of her choice?

Crazy like a fox.

LostinTheOffice

]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter]]> How is this popularity bad?

1) Brings attention to a sports no one would otherwise give a fuck about.

2) Brings attention to an attractive athlete, which could lead to multi-million dollar endorsements, Playboy cover offers, and TV & magazine face time (see: Kournikova, Anna or Patrick, Danica)

3) The family can leech onto her success (see: Simpson, Joe and Williams, Richard)

3)

Moobs

]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter]]> so the real question is this:

is the dad upset because of the attention his daughter is receiving? or is he merely creating a diversion to be sure no one finds out he's been getting that for years?

I Heart Poop

]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter]]> Really, though, dad should have gotten her into one of the more clothing-intensive sports, such as NASCAR or potato sack racing. It must have been pretty apparent where this was all going once she hit puberty.

Sarcastro

]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter]]> @Mix_Master_Meche: I had forgotten what her name was before today and I suspect most people had done the same. The parents could have declined the interview and let it all pass. I wonder what her scholly situation is for next year, maybe the parents put her back in the news to push up her price?

Jack Cobra

]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter]]> Apparently, she can handle two poles at once. Good woman.

Drew Magary

]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter]]> im in ur spandex tickling ur coochie

MeanMachine

]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter]]> @being sven: Can I be the soul? I want to have plenty of time off.

Reasonable Doubt for a Reasonable Price

]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter]]> @thesepretzels: Look, I know it's always funny ha-ha time around here. But she said she doesn't leave the house alone anymore. No one deserves that.

Mix Master Meche

]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter]]> From the article:

As the sun set Friday night, Stokke positioned her pole as if she were jousting and sprinted about 100 feet toward the bar. She ran on her tip-toes, like she'd learned from ballet. As she approached her mark, Stokke bent her pole into the ground and coiled her legs to her chest. She lifted upward, twisting her torso 180 degrees as she passed over the bar. It was a beautiful clearance, and the crowd stood to applaud.

I can't be the only person who finds that extraordinarily hot. Did her father actually read what was written?

44 in a Row

]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter]]> @The Gentleman Masher: If so, Mavis Beacon would be proud.

badbabu

]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter]]> Ufford might have his own track and field team at this rate.

Josh Zerkle

]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter]]> The Post's description of the picture is more leering than the picture itself:

"At 5 feet 7, Stokke has smooth, olive-colored skin and toned muscles. In the photo, her vaulting pole rests on her right shoulder. Her right hand appears to be adjusting the elastic band on her ponytail. Her spandex uniform -- black shorts and a white tank top that are standard for a track athlete -- reveals a bare midriff."

Iit must have been awfully hard for him to avoid mentioning the pole three or four times.

Shawon-O-Meter

]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter]]> @Jack Cobra: He's sooooo mad, he's can barely savor the sweet, sweet aroma of endorsement deals. That's mad.

David Hume

]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter]]> Let's see... she's 18 (legal in pretty much, oh, EVERY state). She's hot and athletic. Which makes her extremely relevant to the Deadspin/WL audience.

By complaining to the Washington Post and getting a big story on their daughter - the parents may have just made her a limited "public figure" that is newsworthy (unlike a certain SI writer who had a daughter featured on a seedy blog!)

grungedave

]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter]]> Like any jury with men on it would convict me after they see that picture.

My whole defense would be my lawyer pointing to her and yelling "Uh, hello! Look at her! Hot damn!"

Not guilty, y'all got to feel me.

Moobs

]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter]]> "At 5 feet 7, Stokke has smooth, olive-colored skin and toned muscles. In the photo, her vaulting pole rests on her right shoulder. Her right hand appears to be adjusting the elastic band on her ponytail. Her spandex uniform -- black shorts and a white tank top that are standard for a track athlete -- reveals a bare midriff."

Yeesh - you get the feeling the writer typed this 'graph with one hand?

The Gentleman Masher

]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter]]> Mr. Stokke is really going to look foolish when Chris Hansen catches him red-handed with a six-pack of Hard Mike's on To Catch a Predator.

Weed Against Speed

]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter]]> i don't think the family realizes their daughter is a multi-millionaire waiting to happen. hot athletic women are far more commercially successful than hot no-talent ass clowns.

I Heart Poop

]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter]]> It's stuff like this that make me think that China has the right idea.

A country full of daughterless fathers has to have a significantly lower risk for heart attacks and strokes, no?

Charlie Kerfelds Jetsons Tee

]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter]]> *envisions the LLP assembling like Voltron*

being_sven

]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter]]> @Suss--: I am heartily amused.

Sarcastro

]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter]]> Well I could think of three things I'd like to do. One would involve some ice cubes and a nine iron. Two would involve a buffalo, live or stuffed, preferably stuffed for safety sake. And three, we bring back some of those ice cubes and switch it over to a pitching wedge.

DannyNoonan

]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter]]> @Mix_Master_Meche: Of course we didn't. Where do you think you are?

thesepretzels

]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter]]> I don't remember who said it first, but they knew it best. "Trying to get something off the Internet is like trying to get the pee out of a pool."

MisterC

]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter]]> Pops may just be peeved that he thinks the same thing that every other gent thinks about his daughter. That's gotta be tough to deal with.

Sarcastro

]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter]]> @lieutenant winslow:

Canadian branch is already on the Kirsten Sweetland case.

Kid Canada

]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter]]> @Jack Cobra: Honestly, if With Leather gets a million hits a month, I think a pretty god damn big deal has been made about it already, don't you?

Mix Master Meche

]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter]]> Speak softly and carry a big stick.

Kid Canada

]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter]]> here we go again...

Deadspin LLP, assemble!!!

ltwinslow

]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter]]> That outer beauty just detracts from the inner ugliness of taking up the hobby of leaping over Warsaw natives.

Matt Sussman

]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter]]> Get that girl a burkha.

ArmansCopyOfSwank

]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter]]> @Moobs: I REGRET NOTHING!

MitchKayak

]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter]]> Dear Mr. Stokke,
I recently received information that I felt obliged to pass along to you. It seems that one Mr. Barry Bonds of San Francisco, California wants to make angry love to your young daughter for hours, and he then plans to beat her afterward and inject her with steroids that will ruin her future career. Don't ask me where I got this information, just know that it's valid. I suggest that you act quickly on this matter before Mr. Bonds hits nine mo...uh, I mean attacks your daughter.
Sincerely,
Henry Aaron

Get Him A Body Bag, Yeah!

]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter]]> including two more attractive pictures

I only saw one. Where's the other?

44 in a Row

]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter]]> @MitchKayak: As long as "FBI" stands for "Free Blowjobs Immediately" then I don't see what the problem is.

Oops Pow Surprise

]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter]]> Also, this is why I will never have a daughter.

BigTenObsession

]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter]]> TEH HAWT

Can't get WL at work - did Ufford take the pics down?

Sargent

]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter]]> I think that picture is totally distasteful and should be removed from the internet immediately. (Did you see that Mr. lawyer man, don't sue me because you have a hot daugther!)

And for God sakes woman put your burka on and get to vaultin'!!!

LostinTheOffice

]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter]]> @Mix_Master_Meche: So you are pissed about people making a big deal about your daughter so you....go and make an even bigger deal about it yourself?

Jack Cobra

]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter]]> I'd love for her to give me the fly-away after she plants on my landing.

Wait, what?

badbabu

]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter]]> This really isn't going to help Ufford out, is it?

BigTenObsession

]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter]]> Will will be required to turnover all comments as evidence in the subsequent trials as a result of Mr. Stokke's due diligence on his daughter's behalf.

Time to lawyer up people.

UkraineNotWeak aka Praying for a Bullpen

]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter]]> Yes.

44 in a Row

]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter]]> @MitchKayak: As long as i can hit that first, I'm cool with whatever happens.

Moobs

]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter]]> Did anyone read that article? There was no screaming, just someone who is completely justified in being pissed off.

Mix Master Meche

]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter]]> So are we supposed to be building a comedy pyramid or are we going for more of a comedy pole with this one?

El Knob Grande

]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter]]> @Moobs: You've just been tagged by Stokke's father. The FBI is on it's way to your house.

MitchKayak

]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter]]> Allan Stokke ain't even bullshitting.

flubby

]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter]]> @Monday Morning Punter: The only advice I'm going to give you is make sure you bring the flour.

Weed Against Speed

]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter]]> She can vault my pole any day.

goathair

]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter]]> You are only making her more famous.

-Jay Mariotti

Mr. Soul

]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter]]> Yeah.

But I can still fuck Holley Mangold, right?

Josh Zerkle

]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter]]> I plan on sneaking into the arena and laying myself in the direct spot she's going to land once the vaults.

Moobs

]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter]]> Ruby thinks Ufford is a perv

ltwinslow

]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter]]> Harbor High? I wonder what Seth, Ryan and Summer think about this.

being_sven

]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter]]> I had 12 different comments to make but voted against it in fear of the litigation from her father and the nasty email she might send me. Then again, the nasty email may work just fine...

Jack Cobra

]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter]]> "WHAAAA! I'm beautiful and smart and talented! People are looking at me! WHAAAA!"

/Artie

Reasonable Doubt for a Reasonable Price

]]> <![CDATA[How To Detract Attention From Your Attractive Teenage Daughter]]> Um ... Yes.

DannyNoonan

]]>