Carl Monday: The Early Years - Deadspin Comments

Carl Monday: The Early Years

What Would Kornheiser Do? — Wed, 06 Jun 2007 19:44:20 EDT

C'mon, over! We got Tera Patrick!

What Would Kornheiser Do?

Carl Monday: The Early Years

claude balls — Wed, 06 Jun 2007 18:42:48 EDT

"The technique used is drawing out, rather than pumping in."

When you say it like that, it sounds dirty.

claude balls

Carl Monday: The Early Years

I Dream of Jeannie Zelasko — Wed, 06 Jun 2007 17:07:44 EDT

@Seymour Scagnetti: Wow. Frank Deford hasn't aged a bit!

I Dream of Jeannie Zelasko

Carl Monday: The Early Years

combat chuck — Wed, 06 Jun 2007 16:19:47 EDT

The kid could be Melissa Gilbert's twin.

combat chuck

Carl Monday: The Early Years

kevinarnoldkilleddjtanner — Wed, 06 Jun 2007 16:19:22 EDT

@Seymour Scagnetti@Dan Daoust: I'm going to go with the scene beginning at the 10:30 mark as the most troubling. And yes, I watched the whole thing.

kevinarnoldkilleddjtanner

Carl Monday: The Early Years

Dan Daoust — Wed, 06 Jun 2007 14:41:57 EDT

@Seymour Scagnetti: Oh. My. God. That first minute is the most disturbing thing I've ever seen. I mean, Jesus. I'll never whistle again. Christ.

Dan Daoust

Carl Monday: The Early Years

Rusty — Wed, 06 Jun 2007 14:14:01 EDT

Ah. "The ABCs of Sex Education for Trainables." My friend bought this on VHS when she decided to type "retard" on eBay and buy the first thing that popped up. A fantastic source of amusement.

We think that after the video ends the narrator morphs back into a fox and runs into the painting behind him.

Rusty

Carl Monday: The Early Years

Ladies love Fennis — Wed, 06 Jun 2007 14:09:29 EDT

"We'll talk about what causes these feelings." Oooh, I know this one. My hand on my dick?

Ladies love Fennis

Carl Monday: The Early Years

BloggyMcBlogBlog — Wed, 06 Jun 2007 13:59:57 EDT

@flubby: "Doesn't anybody f_cking knock anymore?" - Eddie Griffin Fixed.

BloggyMcBlogBlog

Carl Monday: The Early Years

LeNoceur — Wed, 06 Jun 2007 13:51:36 EDT

"It feels good, doesn't it."

"Yes, Mom. Yes it does."

LeNoceur

Carl Monday: The Early Years

Chamomiles Davis — Wed, 06 Jun 2007 13:50:36 EDT

Michael Jackson has just requested the extended-length "Director's Cut" of that public service announcement.

(Anyone living in the Philly area might recognize the soundtrack from being featured on the "Preston & Steve" morning show.)

Chamomiles Davis

Carl Monday: The Early Years

BowdenBowdenBowden — Wed, 06 Jun 2007 13:48:13 EDT

@SA: @Moonshine Mike: Wait, what? That "Institutionalized" is a Guitar Hero II song or that it's hard? It's pretty fun to play, actually.

BowdenBowdenBowden

Carl Monday: The Early Years

krsflan — Wed, 06 Jun 2007 13:43:55 EDT

I beat my dick like it owes me money

krsflan

Carl Monday: The Early Years

SA — Wed, 06 Jun 2007 13:43:33 EDT

@BowdenBowdenBowden: That's a damn shame.

Carl Monday: The Early Years

MongoLikeCandy — Wed, 06 Jun 2007 13:39:48 EDT

Yes, little kid.

MongoLikeCandy

Carl Monday: The Early Years

Athletic Supporter v0.42beta — Wed, 06 Jun 2007 13:29:00 EDT

"I said, don't disturb me when I'm cleaning my room!"

/Deputy Doofy

Athletic Supporter v0.42beta

Carl Monday: The Early Years

JFKFC — Wed, 06 Jun 2007 13:28:49 EDT

It seems that masturbation now qualifies as a sport on this here sports blog... i guess it is much more taxing than spelling, and as short in duration as most UFC fights.

I'm in poor physical shape, aren't I? No no, I'll show myself the door.

JFKFC

Carl Monday: The Early Years

hrbek cheated — Wed, 06 Jun 2007 13:28:47 EDT

@Seymour Scagnetti:

narrator for sex ed for trainables: richard dix.

enough said. well actually.... 'say penis'... 'louder!' .... 'ding-dong'.....

hrbek cheated

Carl Monday: The Early Years

Moonshine Mike — Wed, 06 Jun 2007 13:26:43 EDT

@BowdenBowdenBowden: And that my friends, make us all cry a little.

Moonshine Mike

Carl Monday: The Early Years

throwbot — Wed, 06 Jun 2007 13:25:25 EDT

@Clare: doesn't matter, I'll probably get hit by a car anyway.

throwbot

Carl Monday: The Early Years

Hit Bull Win Steak — Wed, 06 Jun 2007 13:24:49 EDT

@Jen P: you'd be surprised where a growing boy will go to spill a little baby batter

Hit Bull Win Steak

Carl Monday: The Early Years

Shakεy — Wed, 06 Jun 2007 13:21:19 EDT

@Seymour Scagnetti: I didn't know Peter was another name for Penis...

Shakεy

Carl Monday: The Early Years

BowdenBowdenBowden — Wed, 06 Jun 2007 13:19:51 EDT

@Clare: Yes, it is. (Guitar Hero II, I think both PS2 and XBox360 versions) And it's one of the more difficult songs too.

BowdenBowdenBowden

Carl Monday: The Early Years

Clare — Wed, 06 Jun 2007 13:18:05 EDT

@BowdenBowdenBowden: NO! Is that on there?!

Clare

Carl Monday: The Early Years

Hit Bull Win Steak — Wed, 06 Jun 2007 13:17:09 EDT

MONDAY BEGINS

Hit Bull Win Steak

Carl Monday: The Early Years

BowdenBowdenBowden — Wed, 06 Jun 2007 13:15:45 EDT

@Clare: I want to go home and play Guitar Hero now...

BowdenBowdenBowden

Carl Monday: The Early Years

HappyFeltonsGloryHole — Wed, 06 Jun 2007 13:15:34 EDT

"Oh Rickey, you are not the master of your domain."

HappyFeltonsGloryHole

Carl Monday: The Early Years

Grapefruit Juice — Wed, 06 Jun 2007 13:14:49 EDT

Whats wrong with a little Wii-sports before bed?

Grapefruit Juice

Carl Monday: The Early Years

Kung Fu Cantona — Wed, 06 Jun 2007 13:14:19 EDT

the entire video can be found here, rather disturbing and probably not to safe for work:

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-29872434786395790...

Kung Fu Cantona

Carl Monday: The Early Years

Clare — Wed, 06 Jun 2007 13:12:28 EDT

I was in my room and I was just like staring at the wall thinking about everything. But then again I was thinking about nothing. And then my mom came in and I didn't even know she was there she called my name. And I didn't even hear it, and then she started screaming: MIKE! MIKE! And I go: What, what's the matter? And she goes: What's the matter with you? I go: There's nothing wrong mom. And she goes: Don't tell me that, you're on drugs! And I go: No mom I'm not on drugs I'm okay, I was just thinking you know why don't you get me a Pepsi? And she goes: NO you're on drugs! I go: Mom I'm okay, I'm just thinking. She goes: No you're not thinking, you're on drugs! Normal people don't act that way! I go: Mom just give me a Pepsi please! All I want is a Pepsi, and she wouldn't give it to me! All I wanted was a Pepsi, just one Pepsi, and she wouldn't give it to me. Just a Pepsi!

Clare

Carl Monday: The Early Years

Ted Striker — Wed, 06 Jun 2007 13:11:15 EDT

Imagine growing up with a mother like that:

"I saw what you were doing. That drawing is very good. Next time, please don't draw on the wall. You may be a great artist some day. I will respect you as an artist no matter what. I accept that you may one day have a boyfriend."

Ted Striker

Carl Monday: The Early Years

UkraineNotWeak aka Praying for a Bullpen — Wed, 06 Jun 2007 13:11:10 EDT

Once again, damn workplace filters!!!

UkraineNotWeak aka Praying for a Bullpen

Carl Monday: The Early Years

Moonshine Mike — Wed, 06 Jun 2007 13:10:50 EDT

@Weed Against Speed: I think in the 60s it was Valium.

I like more pep in my step, if you know what I mean.

Moonshine Mike

Carl Monday: The Early Years

HappyFeltonsGloryHole — Wed, 06 Jun 2007 13:07:59 EDT

This is great. When I find that my kid is doing this, all I have to do is send him an email with this youtube attachment. Dilemma solved.

HappyFeltonsGloryHole

Carl Monday: The Early Years

HappyFeltonsGloryHole — Wed, 06 Jun 2007 13:06:22 EDT

@flubby:

+1 flubby

HappyFeltonsGloryHole

Carl Monday: The Early Years

HappyFeltonsGloryHole — Wed, 06 Jun 2007 13:05:55 EDT

Replace the kid with Tom Brady, the mother with Bill Belichek and the setting the visitors locker room at the RCA Dome at halftime of the Pats - Colts playoff game.

HappyFeltonsGloryHole

Carl Monday: The Early Years

flubby — Wed, 06 Jun 2007 13:05:55 EDT

"Doesn't anybody f_cking knock anymore?" - Brad Hamilton

flubby

Carl Monday: The Early Years

Jen P — Wed, 06 Jun 2007 13:05:04 EDT

She's even scarier than Pennywise.

Jen P

Carl Monday: The Early Years

Grapefruit Juice — Wed, 06 Jun 2007 13:04:23 EDT

Wheres his sock?

Grapefruit Juice

Carl Monday: The Early Years

Jen P — Wed, 06 Jun 2007 13:04:20 EDT

I'm glad you're doing this in the privacy of your own room.

Where did she expect the kid to be doing it? On the front porch? The local public library? Oh, wait ...

Jen P

Carl Monday: The Early Years

GiselleBeardchen — Wed, 06 Jun 2007 13:03:19 EDT

"I'm over here, mom!"

GiselleBeardchen

Carl Monday: The Early Years

Matt_T — Wed, 06 Jun 2007 13:01:27 EDT

Chris Hansen is not amused

Matt_T

Carl Monday: The Early Years

Weed Against Speed — Wed, 06 Jun 2007 13:01:25 EDT

I'll take whatever that mom is taking.

Weed Against Speed

Carl Monday: The Early Years

BigTDog — Wed, 06 Jun 2007 13:00:50 EDT

"Make Love, Not War"

BigTDog

Carl Monday: The Early Years

Kung Fu Cantona — Wed, 06 Jun 2007 13:00:47 EDT

he's a trainable.

Kung Fu Cantona

Carl Monday: The Early Years

BowdenBowdenBowden — Wed, 06 Jun 2007 12:59:54 EDT

This is the first post with the "Hi, I'm Chris Hanson (sp?) from Dateline NBC" tag?

BowdenBowdenBowden

Carl Monday: The Early Years

MitchKayak — Wed, 06 Jun 2007 12:58:51 EDT

why didn't that kid lock the door?

MitchKayak

Carl Monday: The Early Years

Weed Against Speed — Wed, 06 Jun 2007 12:58:13 EDT

Was that a deleted scene from Spanking the Monkey?

Weed Against Speed

Carl Monday: The Early Years

Hamster-Style — Wed, 06 Jun 2007 12:57:51 EDT

Mom?

Hamster-Style

Carl Monday: The Early Years

Hustler of Culture — Wed, 06 Jun 2007 12:57:42 EDT

Why didn't they show the last 10 seconds? Where the kid says, "Don't leave, you talked for so long that I already finished"....

Hustler of Culture

Carl Monday: The Early Years

Shakεy — Wed, 06 Jun 2007 12:57:37 EDT

I wonder what's on the kid's ceiling? Hmmmmmm......

Shakεy

Carl Monday: The Early Years

Kid Canada — Wed, 06 Jun 2007 12:57:04 EDT

Weird, I have the same video but with a much different ending...

Kid Canada

Carl Monday: The Early Years

throwbot — Wed, 06 Jun 2007 12:57:00 EDT

Today must be "horribly repressed childhood memory day" at Deadspin.

24 hours of ESPN will do that to you.

throwbot