Meet Ron Artest's Fat Brother - Deadspin Comments

Meet Ron Artest's Fat Brother

Botswana Meat Commission FC — Wed, 11 Jul 2007 17:07:50 EDT

He wants to play guard before he even makes it into the league and he's an Artest. That just screams "coachable."

Botswana Meat Commission FC

Meet Ron Artest's Fat Brother

Lizabelle — Wed, 11 Jul 2007 15:06:38 EDT

Joe Buck thinks there's a headstone with his name on it.

Lizabelle

Meet Ron Artest's Fat Brother

Meast Of The East — Wed, 11 Jul 2007 14:32:05 EDT

You sure this ain't part of one of those sportscenter specials for the make a wish foundation? Did he really just roll his fat ass out of bed one day and decide to be a professional basketball player? That sounds like the makings of one of those holiday inn express commercials.

Seriously though, I hope he has a fuckin' heart attack on christmas morning.

Meast Of The East

Meet Ron Artest's Fat Brother

War Penguin — Wed, 11 Jul 2007 14:14:20 EDT

@Lady Andrea: Don't do it, Lady A. You'll only end up a diaper-wearing woman scorned.

War Penguin

Meet Ron Artest's Fat Brother

arantxa sanchez whogivesashit — Wed, 11 Jul 2007 13:57:14 EDT

I've seen that dude before...I think he's the one who stole Ricky's football when they went to see the dead body. His daddy gave him that football and I told him not to be bringin' it around everywhere.

arantxa sanchez whogivesashit

Meet Ron Artest's Fat Brother

Red Sox Monster — Wed, 11 Jul 2007 13:53:11 EDT

He's like Oliver Miller, Tractor Traylor and Stanley Roberts, all rolled up in one great big doughy ball of crazy.

Red Sox Monster

Meet Ron Artest's Fat Brother

Shakεy — Wed, 11 Jul 2007 13:50:55 EDT

I could touch the net when I was in middle school, at barely 5'. This guy ain't never gonna experience that.

Shakεy

Meet Ron Artest's Fat Brother

Moobs — Wed, 11 Jul 2007 13:46:35 EDT

He ain't heavy; he's my brother.

Ok, so he's heavy. But he's still my brother.

Moobs

Meet Ron Artest's Fat Brother

businessorleisure — Wed, 11 Jul 2007 13:37:52 EDT

@RashaanEnis: Not to mention mooching off of a millionaire brother. i can't even make rent this month.

I hate this man. Seriously.

businessorleisure

Meet Ron Artest's Fat Brother

Kid Canada — Wed, 11 Jul 2007 13:36:47 EDT

Oliver Miller's brother is busy preparing for next year's hotdog eating championships.

Kid Canada

Meet Ron Artest's Fat Brother

RashaanEnis — Wed, 11 Jul 2007 13:35:12 EDT

@businessorleisure: not only that, but:

Regardless, Daniel was asked about the biggest challenge of launching an NBA career at the age of 24.

"Doing everything, the same thing, every day," he said, "just getting up early in the morning and going to practice, stuff that I'm not used to.

Getting up is hard to do. Especially when you're 300 lbs.

RashaanEnis

Meet Ron Artest's Fat Brother

Da_Mang — Wed, 11 Jul 2007 13:33:51 EDT

Maybe he meant he could be a guard in the NFL?

Da_Mang

Meet Ron Artest's Fat Brother

businessorleisure — Wed, 11 Jul 2007 13:33:11 EDT

What I love is how he has been working at this "for months." Gotta love his work ethic. He's worked for MONTHS to make the NBA rosters. Paul Shirley should be so gratuitous with his time.

businessorleisure

Meet Ron Artest's Fat Brother

Camp Tiger Claw — Wed, 11 Jul 2007 13:33:07 EDT

When he goes out. To get the mail. It measures on. The richter scale.

Camp Tiger Claw

Meet Ron Artest's Fat Brother

Detective Bunk — Wed, 11 Jul 2007 13:32:10 EDT

@Lady Andrea: I stand corrected.

Detective Bunk

Meet Ron Artest's Fat Brother

UpstateUnderdog — Wed, 11 Jul 2007 13:31:53 EDT

@flubby: say it with me bobby, "winky dinky dog".

UpstateUnderdog

Meet Ron Artest's Fat Brother

UpstateUnderdog — Wed, 11 Jul 2007 13:31:22 EDT

@Disgruntled Goat: i thinking he may have eaten that dog.

UpstateUnderdog

Meet Ron Artest's Fat Brother

Reasonable Doubt for a Reasonable Price — Wed, 11 Jul 2007 13:31:11 EDT

Feed. Me.

Reasonable Doubt for a Reasonable Price

Meet Ron Artest's Fat Brother

Tuffy — Wed, 11 Jul 2007 13:30:00 EDT

There are 300 lb security guards in the NBA.

Tuffy

Meet Ron Artest's Fat Brother

Lady Andrea — Wed, 11 Jul 2007 13:29:45 EDT

@Detective Bunk: I think he looks more like Ruben Studdard.

Lady Andrea

Meet Ron Artest's Fat Brother

Jefferson Short Bus — Wed, 11 Jul 2007 13:28:28 EDT

@flubby: Ron Artest's brother needs to be reminded that there are jobs at the Post Office.

Jefferson Short Bus

Meet Ron Artest's Fat Brother

Wolf Blitzer — Wed, 11 Jul 2007 13:28:17 EDT

This guy is hilarious on that VH1 show which highlights all the hilarious internet videos I missed out on last week.

Wolf Blitzer

Meet Ron Artest's Fat Brother

Christ Sabo — Wed, 11 Jul 2007 13:28:06 EDT

In other basketball-related news, Deadspin and the Stephon Marbury got a mention in the current "Newsweek."

Christ Sabo

Meet Ron Artest's Fat Brother

Disgruntled Goat — Wed, 11 Jul 2007 13:27:40 EDT

@UpstateUnderdog: I'm surprised he didn't eat the dog.

Disgruntled Goat

Meet Ron Artest's Fat Brother

Detective Bunk — Wed, 11 Jul 2007 13:27:39 EDT

Kinda has a touch of the Wayne Brady in the face. And the Hot Plate Williams in the ass.

Detective Bunk

Meet Ron Artest's Fat Brother

theballadofrickeyfoggie — Wed, 11 Jul 2007 13:26:32 EDT

Ron Artest's brother is interested in those chipotle gift certificates everyone is talking about.

theballadofrickeyfoggie

Meet Ron Artest's Fat Brother

UpstateUnderdog — Wed, 11 Jul 2007 13:25:53 EDT

@Athletic Supporter: nice call, you beat me to the starving joke.

UpstateUnderdog

Meet Ron Artest's Fat Brother

flubby — Wed, 11 Jul 2007 13:25:16 EDT

You can have Winky Dinky Dog! Crew chief! Fat boy!

flubby

Meet Ron Artest's Fat Brother

Burnsy — Wed, 11 Jul 2007 13:24:54 EDT

Daniel hungry. Must. Eat. Stern.

Burnsy

Meet Ron Artest's Fat Brother

UpstateUnderdog — Wed, 11 Jul 2007 13:24:48 EDT

it looks like the younger artest was eating the food that ron's great dane should have been eating.
[sports.aol.com]

UpstateUnderdog

Meet Ron Artest's Fat Brother

GorgeForeman — Wed, 11 Jul 2007 13:23:58 EDT

Looks like he's already lost an index finger to diabetes.

GorgeForeman

Meet Ron Artest's Fat Brother

Senators Lost Cojones — Wed, 11 Jul 2007 13:23:32 EDT

Whenever I get the opportunity to play, you're gonna see how I play. I can jump and everything. I can hit the NBA three. I can fly into a violent rage. I scored really good on my punch-random-fan-in-the-face test. I'm all about the fundamentals, really.

Senators Lost Cojones

Meet Ron Artest's Fat Brother

badbabu — Wed, 11 Jul 2007 13:22:32 EDT

Whitlock?

badbabu

Meet Ron Artest's Fat Brother

Athletic Supporter v0.42beta — Wed, 11 Jul 2007 13:22:07 EDT

I wonder if he feeds his dogs, or just eats the food himself?

Athletic Supporter v0.42beta

Meet Ron Artest's Fat Brother

KOGOD — Wed, 11 Jul 2007 13:21:57 EDT

Steinz might not make it back alive

KOGOD

Meet Ron Artest's Fat Brother

Dewey Decimal System — Wed, 11 Jul 2007 13:21:37 EDT

Ron Artest's younger brother? He looks more like Oliver Miller's younger brother.

Dewey Decimal System

Meet Ron Artest's Fat Brother

Lady Andrea — Wed, 11 Jul 2007 13:21:17 EDT

I'm suddenly imagining Ron and Daniel Artest as George and Lennie.

"The rabbits we're gonna get and I-I get to tend 'em."

Lady Andrea

Meet Ron Artest's Fat Brother

Christ Sabo — Wed, 11 Jul 2007 13:20:42 EDT

Ron Artest's brother makes Tractor Traylor look as skinny as Shawn Bradley.

Christ Sabo

Meet Ron Artest's Fat Brother

RashaanEnis — Wed, 11 Jul 2007 13:19:54 EDT

He'll be okay. If the NBA thing doesn't pan out, he can always fall back on rap superstardom via Tru Warier Records.

RashaanEnis

Meet Ron Artest's Fat Brother

Jefferson Short Bus — Wed, 11 Jul 2007 13:18:15 EDT

"I push [Ron] and he pushes me."

But I love him. He's my coach.

Myyyy coach.

Jefferson Short Bus

Meet Ron Artest's Fat Brother

Shorty — Wed, 11 Jul 2007 13:18:06 EDT

He's ginormous. Which is apparently a real word now.

Shorty

Meet Ron Artest's Fat Brother

RBS — Wed, 11 Jul 2007 13:17:51 EDT

@Raskolnikov: And that's why you don't accidentally skip over reading previous posts.

Or teach a lesson using a one arm man.

RBS

Meet Ron Artest's Fat Brother

Wolf Blitzer — Wed, 11 Jul 2007 13:17:45 EDT

If he's Grimace-
is ron ron the Hamburglar?

Tru Warrier, out

Wolf Blitzer

Meet Ron Artest's Fat Brother

throwbot — Wed, 11 Jul 2007 13:17:01 EDT

Throw a beer at Ron Artest: goes into stands, tries to fight fans.

Throw a beer at Daniel Artest: thanks you for the beer, asks for six more beers, a hot dog and a pretzel.

throwbot

Meet Ron Artest's Fat Brother

Seabass — Wed, 11 Jul 2007 13:16:30 EDT

I actually know a third Artest brother from IU. He used to come to our parties all the time. Couldn't be a nicer a guy out there. Polar opposite of Ron.

Seabass

Meet Ron Artest's Fat Brother

RBS — Wed, 11 Jul 2007 13:16:11 EDT

"I push Ron and Ron pushes me" can take on a whole different context when talking about Artest.

RBS

Meet Ron Artest's Fat Brother

Shoopmonster — Wed, 11 Jul 2007 13:14:58 EDT

@Lady Andrea: Sorry, but I can't help myself. Are those space pants you're wearing?

Shoopmonster

Meet Ron Artest's Fat Brother

Catalyst — Wed, 11 Jul 2007 13:14:06 EDT

Pros: "Can jump and everything."
Cons: Related to Ron Artest; 300lbs

Sounds like Knicks material.

Catalyst

Meet Ron Artest's Fat Brother

UpstateUnderdog — Wed, 11 Jul 2007 13:13:02 EDT

there aren't a lot of 300 pound guards in the nba ? what ?

UpstateUnderdog

Meet Ron Artest's Fat Brother

Lady Andrea — Wed, 11 Jul 2007 13:12:56 EDT

Did this guy play in college? Or HS? Or did he just wake up one morning and decide since his relative is a baller that he can be one too?

You know what? I have a second cousin on the space station right now. I think I'll go be an astronaut.

Lady Andrea

Meet Ron Artest's Fat Brother

Raskolnikov — Wed, 11 Jul 2007 13:12:46 EDT

I push [Ron] and he pushes me.

I throw a beer at Ron and he attacks the little girl down the street.

Raskolnikov

Meet Ron Artest's Fat Brother

Disgruntled Goat — Wed, 11 Jul 2007 13:12:35 EDT

Artest vs. Artest boxing should be the undercard to next year's NBA Finals.

Disgruntled Goat

Meet Ron Artest's Fat Brother

ChucklingAtTheDead — Wed, 11 Jul 2007 13:11:58 EDT

Fuck it, I'm playing a summer league this year.

ChucklingAtTheDead

Meet Ron Artest's Fat Brother

The Fan’s Attic — Wed, 11 Jul 2007 13:11:38 EDT

Obviously he hasn't done enough running, yet.

The Fan’s Attic

Meet Ron Artest's Fat Brother

SlickBomb — Wed, 11 Jul 2007 13:11:36 EDT

Didn't stop Shaq from playing.

SlickBomb

Meet Ron Artest's Fat Brother

Shoopmonster — Wed, 11 Jul 2007 13:11:04 EDT

I thought Shaq's reality show was to make fat kids skinny, not to get them a shot at the NBA.

Shoopmonster