X Games Skater Somehow Doesn't Die - Deadspin Comments

X Games Skater Somehow Doesn't Die

Technicolor Jan Stenerud — Sat, 04 Aug 2007 00:11:44 EDT

at the hospital, dr. manning rubbed some dirt on it.

Technicolor Jan Stenerud

X Games Skater Somehow Doesn't Die

Butch Huskey — Fri, 03 Aug 2007 18:26:41 EDT

i was at Staples Center

i'll give you one guess at which exact second the woman next to me got up and blocked my view

Butch Huskey

X Games Skater Somehow Doesn't Die

ReggieDunlop — Fri, 03 Aug 2007 14:29:46 EDT

The train had knocked Ray Brower out of his Keds the same way it had knocked the life out of his body.

ReggieDunlop

X Games Skater Somehow Doesn't Die

Pacman Scones — Fri, 03 Aug 2007 13:58:23 EDT

He walked it off.

Pacman Scones

X Games Skater Somehow Doesn't Die

Boz — Fri, 03 Aug 2007 13:23:44 EDT

Wile E. Coyote feels Jake Brown's pain. He also advises him to never, ever use an ACME skateboard again.

Boz

X Games Skater Somehow Doesn't Die

Manny Ortez — Fri, 03 Aug 2007 13:19:28 EDT

Nothing like the launch ramp on the Alcatraz level tho. oh wait that was real.

Who knew people named Pierre-Luc living in Carlsbad still said "gnarly?" What are the odds.

Manny Ortez

X Games Skater Somehow Doesn't Die

LitiGrrl30 — Fri, 03 Aug 2007 12:58:09 EDT

"We're still not sure it's sports..."

It may be not a "sport," but I guarantee all these guys are athletes. Incidentally, Burnquist wears a full padded bodysuit under his clothes when doing vert--I'm thinking Jake might be talking to him today about borrowing that (that, and an adult diaper).

LitiGrrl30

X Games Skater Somehow Doesn't Die

Mr. Kim Gordons Panties — Fri, 03 Aug 2007 12:54:02 EDT

Indeed, Ndouble, indeed.

Mr. Kim Gordons Panties

X Games Skater Somehow Doesn't Die

NDouble — Fri, 03 Aug 2007 12:40:24 EDT

Football is for pussies.

NDouble

X Games Skater Somehow Doesn't Die

SantaBarbaraWahoo — Fri, 03 Aug 2007 12:35:38 EDT

SantaBarbaraWahoo

X Games Skater Somehow Doesn't Die

buttons — Fri, 03 Aug 2007 12:26:01 EDT

@Blackaces: Well put.

buttons

X Games Skater Somehow Doesn't Die

metalmaniac — Fri, 03 Aug 2007 12:18:49 EDT

@LingeringBursitis:

Being 30-35 years older than that guy probably has something to do with it, too...

metalmaniac

X Games Skater Somehow Doesn't Die

Shakεy — Fri, 03 Aug 2007 11:58:26 EDT

Some girls were at my house last night and we were watching the big air thingy, and I somehow convinced them that there are magnets in their skateboards and their shoes that enable the skateboards to stick on their feet.

Whenever something bad happened, I just said the magnets malfunctioned.

They still believe me, even after this video.

Shakεy

X Games Skater Somehow Doesn't Die

ChrisMullinsFlattop — Fri, 03 Aug 2007 11:47:40 EDT

@Port City Gangsta: +1

ChrisMullinsFlattop

X Games Skater Somehow Doesn't Die

Babcocksure — Fri, 03 Aug 2007 11:35:32 EDT

But what about his face? Did anything happen to his face?

Babcocksure

X Games Skater Somehow Doesn't Die

blackaces — Fri, 03 Aug 2007 11:34:10 EDT

Oof.

blackaces

X Games Skater Somehow Doesn't Die

sinister midget — Fri, 03 Aug 2007 11:15:19 EDT

is that moocher from "breaking away" in the peanut gallery?

sinister midget

X Games Skater Somehow Doesn't Die

Tar Heel Fan — Fri, 03 Aug 2007 11:15:01 EDT

From the San Diego Union Tribune:

"I seriously thought he was dead, broke his back or broke both legs," said fellow skater Pierre-Luc Gagnon of Carlsbad. "That was the gnarliest slam I've ever seen in my life."

People still say gnarly?

Tar Heel Fan

X Games Skater Somehow Doesn't Die

Creepy Old Man — Fri, 03 Aug 2007 10:58:02 EDT

ESPN just announced they've added the "50 Foot Drop" as a regular event at the next X Games.

Creepy Old Man

X Games Skater Somehow Doesn't Die

LingeringBursitis — Fri, 03 Aug 2007 10:50:46 EDT

@Charlie Kerfelds Jetsons Tee: Yup. Using their only computer right now.

LingeringBursitis

X Games Skater Somehow Doesn't Die

Ray — Fri, 03 Aug 2007 10:48:36 EDT

That was gnarly, or something.

Ray

X Games Skater Somehow Doesn't Die

Canadian Impostor — Fri, 03 Aug 2007 10:48:34 EDT

I've been limping around all week after a nasty jump into a kiddy pool while inebriated. That dude just fell fifty feet and walked away.

I feel like a gigantic wuss.

Canadian Impostor

X Games Skater Somehow Doesn't Die

Talkin_Proud — Fri, 03 Aug 2007 10:48:16 EDT

@Karate_Kid_Reference:
If they trained with the best, Marty McFly, they wouldn't need 'chutes.

Talkin_Proud

X Games Skater Somehow Doesn't Die

highlifer — Fri, 03 Aug 2007 10:46:16 EDT

C. Ronaldo would have laid there a lot longer after tripping over a shoelace.

I would seriously have bet $1K that dude was dead!

highlifer

X Games Skater Somehow Doesn't Die

Chicago Jones — Fri, 03 Aug 2007 10:45:26 EDT

Believe it or not I'm walking on air.

Chicago Jones

X Games Skater Somehow Doesn't Die

Charlie Kerfelds Jetsons Tee — Fri, 03 Aug 2007 10:44:09 EDT

@LingeringBursitis: I've been at work for three hours already.

Oh. Do you live in Guam?

Charlie Kerfelds Jetsons Tee

X Games Skater Somehow Doesn't Die

The Fan’s Attic — Fri, 03 Aug 2007 10:42:54 EDT

Dear lord. That was brutal.

Anybody else notice one of the broadcasters, during the broadcast bust out the "oh shiii..." when Skater Boy was falling? Probably Tony Hawk, but I like hearing the announcers being awed into an 'oh shit'.

The Fan’s Attic

X Games Skater Somehow Doesn't Die

Karate_Kid_Reference — Fri, 03 Aug 2007 10:41:49 EDT

These guys should wear backpacks with parachutes in them. There would be nothing more extreme than parachuting into the crowd after jumping on a piece of wood with wheels on it.

Karate_Kid_Reference

X Games Skater Somehow Doesn't Die

MrRedDevil — Fri, 03 Aug 2007 10:40:53 EDT

@HeavyPettingZoo: +1

MrRedDevil

X Games Skater Somehow Doesn't Die

Talkin_Proud — Fri, 03 Aug 2007 10:40:17 EDT

@ZP Shorty:
I always watched figure skating for the skirts. These days, society calls me a "pervert." Pshaw.

Talkin_Proud

X Games Skater Somehow Doesn't Die

DennyCrane — Fri, 03 Aug 2007 10:39:43 EDT

That guy clearly drank a Sobe Coolatta.

DennyCrane

X Games Skater Somehow Doesn't Die

El Knob Grande — Fri, 03 Aug 2007 10:39:22 EDT

@ZP Shorty:
sort of like why I watch figure skating

Wait - the X Games has camel toe shots?

El Knob Grande

X Games Skater Somehow Doesn't Die

HeavyPettingZoo — Fri, 03 Aug 2007 10:38:58 EDT

"We mean... his shoes popped off!

For the record, Will, my shoes pop off everytime I hit the couch, but I don't go around telling everyone about it. I'm like Barry Sanders that way. Act like you've been there, you know?

HeavyPettingZoo

X Games Skater Somehow Doesn't Die

Lance's Other Nut — Fri, 03 Aug 2007 10:37:41 EDT

@Port City Gangsta: winner

Lance's Other Nut

X Games Skater Somehow Doesn't Die

LostinTheOffice — Fri, 03 Aug 2007 10:37:21 EDT

@HeavyPettingZoo:
For the record Mike Utley's block was flawless.

But if everyone paid attention to the minor details (like holding on to the God damn skateboard) all our days would be boring.

LostinTheOffice

X Games Skater Somehow Doesn't Die

DennyCrane — Fri, 03 Aug 2007 10:35:15 EDT

@Tuffy: Take it easy, Champ. Why don't you sit this next one out, stop talking for a while?

DennyCrane

X Games Skater Somehow Doesn't Die

HeavyPettingZoo — Fri, 03 Aug 2007 10:32:17 EDT

@BigChiefChaw:

Hawk is watching the guy lay motionless, perhaps dead, then says "I can't believe he did a 720!"

That's like saying:

"I can't believe what a great dunk that was by Hank Gathers!"

"I can't believe Mike Utley missed that block."

"I can't believe Skip Prosser ran such a quick mile."

"I can't believe Chris Benoit was able to seamlessly transition from the Crippler Crossface to the Sleeper Hold."

HeavyPettingZoo

X Games Skater Somehow Doesn't Die

BigTenObsession — Fri, 03 Aug 2007 10:32:12 EDT

@metalmaniac:

Shit! The dogs and cats are working together now. What have you done, Michael Vick? WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?

BigTenObsession

X Games Skater Somehow Doesn't Die

LingeringBursitis — Fri, 03 Aug 2007 10:31:37 EDT

@metalmaniac: It's because you're not EXTREEEEEEEEEEEEEMMMMEE.

LingeringBursitis

X Games Skater Somehow Doesn't Die

LingeringBursitis — Fri, 03 Aug 2007 10:31:12 EDT

@Charlie Kerfelds Jetsons Tee: Point taken. It's way too early for subtlety though, I mean come on. My left eye ain't working yet.

LingeringBursitis

X Games Skater Somehow Doesn't Die

metalmaniac — Fri, 03 Aug 2007 10:31:09 EDT

I tripped over the cat box this morning and fell two feet into the kitchen counter; I can barely fucking move. This guy takes a swan dive from 50 feet and walks away. WTF?

metalmaniac

X Games Skater Somehow Doesn't Die

MrRedDevil — Fri, 03 Aug 2007 10:31:09 EDT

@ZP Shorty: I heard that Will watches figure skating because of this guy.

[www.iceskatingintnl.com]

MrRedDevil

X Games Skater Somehow Doesn't Die

crazyjoedavola — Fri, 03 Aug 2007 10:30:10 EDT

@ZP Shorty: NASCAR, the only reason I watch... big giant car pileups.

crazyjoedavola

X Games Skater Somehow Doesn't Die

Bunkie Perkins — Fri, 03 Aug 2007 10:30:02 EDT

Thats a pretty nasty fall

/Owen Hart

Bunkie Perkins

X Games Skater Somehow Doesn't Die

Reasonable Doubt for a Reasonable Price — Fri, 03 Aug 2007 10:29:31 EDT

Since everyone is missing everyone else's subtle jokes and setups, I think we all need to sit the next 30 minutes out. Clear our heads, get re-focused, that type of shit.

Reasonable Doubt for a Reasonable Price

X Games Skater Somehow Doesn't Die

Talkin_Proud — Fri, 03 Aug 2007 10:29:19 EDT

Holy hell, that was crazy. But not as crazy as the new Jake Brown Doritos eXtreme flavor's gonna be!

Talkin_Proud

X Games Skater Somehow Doesn't Die

Shorty — Fri, 03 Aug 2007 10:28:48 EDT

isnt this why people watch the x games? to see big falls? sort of like why I watch figure skating

Shorty

X Games Skater Somehow Doesn't Die

BigTenObsession — Fri, 03 Aug 2007 10:28:13 EDT

That's nothing - yesterday my dog tripped me at the bottom of the stairs, and I missed the last step. DUDE!

(yes, it's a true story - at least she didn't shoot me)

BigTenObsession

X Games Skater Somehow Doesn't Die

BigChiefChaw — Fri, 03 Aug 2007 10:27:58 EDT

Is it just me or does Tony Hawk have the pussiest announcing voice? Listen to him when he crashes. Pretty pussy like

BigChiefChaw

X Games Skater Somehow Doesn't Die

Josh Zerkle — Fri, 03 Aug 2007 10:26:13 EDT

Did he throw up shards of his own pelvis?

Josh Zerkle

X Games Skater Somehow Doesn't Die

Hextall454 — Fri, 03 Aug 2007 10:26:00 EDT

@LingeringBursitis: Yes, those are Charlie Kerfeld's initials. Good work.

Hextall454

X Games Skater Somehow Doesn't Die

MrRedDevil — Fri, 03 Aug 2007 10:25:46 EDT

DUDE! SWEET!

DUDE!! SWEET!!

DUDE!!! SWEET!!!

MrRedDevil

X Games Skater Somehow Doesn't Die

LostinTheOffice — Fri, 03 Aug 2007 10:25:44 EDT

@LingeringBursitis: Who is Dan Cook?

LostinTheOffice

X Games Skater Somehow Doesn't Die

Charlie Kerfelds Jetsons Tee — Fri, 03 Aug 2007 10:25:41 EDT

@LingeringBursitis: Yes. I know.

Note the spelling of "Dane," as well.

Charlie Kerfelds Jetsons Tee

X Games Skater Somehow Doesn't Die

Tuffy — Fri, 03 Aug 2007 10:25:27 EDT

@Tuffy:

Dear Mr. Tool Announcer,

"Heroes" isn't owned by ABC and broadcast by NBC like I thought. It's an NBC production, born and bred. In other news, I am an idiot. You're still a tool, though. We cool?

Affectionately,
Tuffy, taking a few plays off

Tuffy

X Games Skater Somehow Doesn't Die

LostinTheOffice — Fri, 03 Aug 2007 10:25:24 EDT

@Charlie Kerfelds Jetsons Tee:
Louis C.H. can't hold a candle to Chris Rix...I mean he is bigger AND blacker!

LostinTheOffice

X Games Skater Somehow Doesn't Die

LingeringBursitis — Fri, 03 Aug 2007 10:24:43 EDT

@Charlie Kerfelds Jetsons Tee: C.K.

LingeringBursitis

X Games Skater Somehow Doesn't Die

hockalees — Fri, 03 Aug 2007 10:22:43 EDT

"His board got squirrelly..."

C'mon guys, don't confuse us with that technical mumbo-jumbo-- put it in layman's terms for the folks at home.

I love 'Mars Blackmon' asking us over and over "Did you see that? Did you see the shoes?"

hockalees

X Games Skater Somehow Doesn't Die

Camp Tiger Claw — Fri, 03 Aug 2007 10:21:49 EDT

Question: Can I keep that guy's shoes?

Camp Tiger Claw

X Games Skater Somehow Doesn't Die

Tuffy — Fri, 03 Aug 2007 10:19:47 EDT

I love that the tool announcer was not the least bit prepared for a catastrophic injury in an X Games event but still managed to fire off a plug for another Disney property. That boy's getting an extra cafeteria coupon in his pay envelope.

Tuffy

X Games Skater Somehow Doesn't Die

Bo Pelini Temper Tantrum — Fri, 03 Aug 2007 10:18:49 EDT

What's that, like, fifty feet? Weak. Try 33,000.

--Vesna Vulovic

Bo Pelini Temper Tantrum

X Games Skater Somehow Doesn't Die

Charlie Kerfelds Jetsons Tee — Fri, 03 Aug 2007 10:18:18 EDT

@wes mantooth: Hey, it's only fair.

Dan Cook is notorius for ripping off Louis C.H.

Charlie Kerfelds Jetsons Tee

X Games Skater Somehow Doesn't Die

BigChiefChaw — Fri, 03 Aug 2007 10:17:39 EDT

His shoes kicked off in a fit of joy.

BigChiefChaw

X Games Skater Somehow Doesn't Die

MrRedDevil — Fri, 03 Aug 2007 10:16:59 EDT

Don't ever fight that guy.

MrRedDevil

X Games Skater Somehow Doesn't Die

FabianBarthez — Fri, 03 Aug 2007 10:16:24 EDT

now i see the appropriate punishment for Michael Vick.

FabianBarthez

X Games Skater Somehow Doesn't Die

Moobs — Fri, 03 Aug 2007 10:15:59 EDT

Dwayne Wade has no idea how he could walk after that.

Moobs

X Games Skater Somehow Doesn't Die

wes mantooth — Fri, 03 Aug 2007 10:15:01 EDT

We mean...his shoes popped off. This happens during car wrecks.

Is Will stealing Dan Cook's material?

wes mantooth

X Games Skater Somehow Doesn't Die

Dead Air ummm Dead Air — Fri, 03 Aug 2007 10:14:24 EDT

I'm an idiot and can't type well.

"Way to go, Hamilton!"

Dead Air ummm Dead Air

X Games Skater Somehow Doesn't Die

Da_Mang — Fri, 03 Aug 2007 10:14:18 EDT

Never underestimate the power of weed to help one withstand vicious impacts. That's how drunks always manage to kill everyone but themselves in a wreck.

Da_Mang

X Games Skater Somehow Doesn't Die

Bunkie Perkins — Fri, 03 Aug 2007 10:14:06 EDT

"He's Hardcore...He's Hardcore"

Bunkie Perkins

X Games Skater Somehow Doesn't Die

Dead Air ummm Dead Air — Fri, 03 Aug 2007 10:13:59 EDT

Awesome! Totally Awesome! Wait to go Hamilton!

Dead Air ummm Dead Air

X Games Skater Somehow Doesn't Die

MakhtarNdiaye — Fri, 03 Aug 2007 10:13:21 EDT

To add insult to death - er, injury, Bob Burnquist was the next rider and he stole Jake's gold. Asshole Brazilians.

MakhtarNdiaye

X Games Skater Somehow Doesn't Die

WFNYScott — Fri, 03 Aug 2007 10:13:10 EDT

so those things aren't strapped to their feet??

WFNYScott

X Games Skater Somehow Doesn't Die

Magnakai Haaskivi — Fri, 03 Aug 2007 10:13:07 EDT

Memo to Chester Taylor: If that guy can walk away, you don't need to be carted off the field for a bruised forearm.

Magnakai Haaskivi

X Games Skater Somehow Doesn't Die

MrMoustache — Fri, 03 Aug 2007 10:12:55 EDT

That was more EXTREME than putting Amy Grant on a mix tape and air kayaking in a 7-11!

MrMoustache

X Games Skater Somehow Doesn't Die

flubby — Fri, 03 Aug 2007 10:12:31 EDT

"I told you I was hardcore."

flubby

X Games Skater Somehow Doesn't Die

Technicolor Jan Stenerud — Fri, 03 Aug 2007 10:12:13 EDT

Hey, it beats a slalom flag shot to the groin.

Technicolor Jan Stenerud

X Games Skater Somehow Doesn't Die

MeanMachine — Fri, 03 Aug 2007 10:12:12 EDT

Fucking A!

MeanMachine

X Games Skater Somehow Doesn't Die

ArmansCopyOfSwank — Fri, 03 Aug 2007 10:12:06 EDT

Please. That happens to me every time I have too much coffee.

ArmansCopyOfSwank

X Games Skater Somehow Doesn't Die

josereyes.theroof wishes to perform Tim Harris's sack-dance for you — Fri, 03 Aug 2007 10:11:41 EDT

@Detective Bunk: Dad?

josereyes.theroof wishes to perform Tim Harris's sack-dance for you

X Games Skater Somehow Doesn't Die

Carmen McFanzone — Fri, 03 Aug 2007 10:11:07 EDT

Hey, at least he won the gold - oh.

Carmen McFanzone

X Games Skater Somehow Doesn't Die

Triple B — Fri, 03 Aug 2007 10:11:01 EDT

@wes mantooth: I miss Dan Cortez ... wait, no I don't.

Triple B

X Games Skater Somehow Doesn't Die

UkraineNotWeak aka Praying for a Bullpen — Fri, 03 Aug 2007 10:10:23 EDT

Poochie approves of this move!!!

UkraineNotWeak aka Praying for a Bullpen

X Games Skater Somehow Doesn't Die

Burnsy — Fri, 03 Aug 2007 10:10:00 EDT

"Jake Brown: Currently... dead."

Burnsy

X Games Skater Somehow Doesn't Die

wes mantooth — Fri, 03 Aug 2007 10:09:49 EDT

Get that guy a Mountain Dew...pronto.

wes mantooth

X Games Skater Somehow Doesn't Die

CliffX — Fri, 03 Aug 2007 10:09:29 EDT

I saw that on GMA before leaving for work and was like, whaaaaaaaaat?

The guy in yellow covering his eyes in the background pretty much sums it up.

CliffX

X Games Skater Somehow Doesn't Die

Afino — Fri, 03 Aug 2007 10:08:55 EDT

That was EXTREME!

Really though, he walked away from that? Wow.

Afino

X Games Skater Somehow Doesn't Die

DennyCrane — Fri, 03 Aug 2007 10:08:00 EDT

Holy fucking shit

DennyCrane

X Games Skater Somehow Doesn't Die

Bo Pelini Temper Tantrum — Fri, 03 Aug 2007 10:07:12 EDT

DUDE!
BRO!
DUDE!
BRO!

Bo Pelini Temper Tantrum

X Games Skater Somehow Doesn't Die

Detective Bunk — Fri, 03 Aug 2007 10:06:03 EDT

I had a full that didn't kill me, too. Damn all you can eat buffets.

Detective Bunk