Examining Jorts - Deadspin Comments

Examining Jorts

Dale Ellis Driving School — Thu, 16 Aug 2007 16:20:09 EDT

We took our daughter to Disneyland a couple months ago, and there was a guy in line in front of us wearing jorts. I made up a quick song about jorts (actually more of a rap) and thought it would be a good idea to start singing it loudly in order to make my wife laugh. It went, "Jorts, jorts, they're everywhere. People walk around in them, and they just don't care." I didn't think the guy would actually know what jorts were, but I was wrong. He did not seem amused with my song.

Dale Ellis Driving School

Examining Jorts

FightTiger — Thu, 16 Aug 2007 15:42:23 EDT

YES!

To the girl on the second page of the story...

The jorts story...

The one wearing khakis...

Standing in the crowd at a football game...

Just trust me, she's hot.

FightTiger

Examining Jorts

A Pimp Named DaveR — Thu, 16 Aug 2007 15:33:52 EDT

Please support my new charity, Jarts for Jorts. We're having a big benefit concert this Saturday, featuring Porno for Pyros, Five for Fighting, and Tears for Fears. (With a special screening of Flowers for Algernon for the kiddies.)

Also, since I'm from MA, we'll be keeping the darkies down.

A Pimp Named DaveR

Examining Jorts

Capt.Insano — Thu, 16 Aug 2007 15:26:53 EDT

@CharlesBronsonPinchot: iceholes

/fixed

Capt.Insano

Examining Jorts

Unregular — Thu, 16 Aug 2007 15:24:15 EDT

@Upstate Underdog: of course. Rhode Island is in New England. Wickid racist here. We hate the blacks, browns, yellows... you name it.

Early 90's jorts were not taboo.

If you are wearing jorts today, you are deserved of ridicule.

Even the blacks. ESPECIALLY the blacks!

Unregular

Examining Jorts

Cecil Cooper — Thu, 16 Aug 2007 15:18:25 EDT

I have jorts. I wear jorts. I like jorts.

Cecil Cooper

Examining Jorts

Sarcastro — Thu, 16 Aug 2007 15:13:42 EDT

@apostles03: I make my own Jarts in my secret basement workshop. And meth. I make that, too. Gimme a call.

Sarcastro

Examining Jorts

apostles03 — Thu, 16 Aug 2007 14:57:52 EDT

@Jen P: my comment should have had a /sarcasm/ notation.

A kid who lived down the street from me had one graze his head, and the psychopath who lived in the house across the street from my family stole our set off our lawn so he would whip them at a raccoon he had pinned down in a shack behind his house.

So many things we should have sued for back then. Like CLICK-CLACKS, the exploding balls of glass!

apostles03

Examining Jorts

Hit Bull Win Steak — Thu, 16 Aug 2007 14:56:18 EDT

If you got hit with a jart would you shart your jorts?

Hit Bull Win Steak

Examining Jorts

UpstateUnderdog — Thu, 16 Aug 2007 14:52:32 EDT

@Unregular: Well back in the day, early '90's while going to school in RI, jorts were in high fashion out there, and of course racism.

UpstateUnderdog

Examining Jorts

Jen P — Thu, 16 Aug 2007 14:50:37 EDT

@apostles03: Actually, it's pretty believable. My cousins and I were a vicious group of kids. I know that at least one Jart incident resulted in a hospital trip for a severe puncture wound. If only my family had been smart enough to sue back then ...

Jen P

Examining Jorts

CharlesBronsonPinchot — Thu, 16 Aug 2007 14:48:28 EDT

Is there a fundamental difference in Jorts and Cutoffs, or is it just my opinion that Jorts-wearers are perverts and Cutoffs-wearers are "Iceheads."

Discuss.

CharlesBronsonPinchot

Examining Jorts

Unregular — Thu, 16 Aug 2007 14:47:57 EDT

@Upstate Underdog: You're thinking of cargo shorts in New England. And racists.

Unregular

Examining Jorts

apostles03 — Thu, 16 Aug 2007 14:46:24 EDT

@Jen P: Apparently, people died at the hands of jart-wielding maniacs. Unbelievable, huh?

apostles03

Examining Jorts

Hit Bull Win Steak — Thu, 16 Aug 2007 14:44:49 EDT

funny, I thought the biggest insult one SEC fanbase could make towards another would be something involving soap...

Hit Bull Win Steak

Examining Jorts

What Would Kornheiser Do? Presented by Peniston Fuels — Thu, 16 Aug 2007 14:42:42 EDT

[this is a thread....jack]
Pat Summit is filing for divorce, citing "irreconcilable differences."

And by "irreconcilable differences," she means he doesn't have a meat biscuit.

[/this is a thread....jack]

What Would Kornheiser Do? Presented by Peniston Fuels

Examining Jorts

Jen P — Thu, 16 Aug 2007 14:41:23 EDT

@apostles03: I totally thought that's what the link was about when I first read it. Man, those things were awesome to huck at my cousins ...

Jen P

Examining Jorts

The Gentleman Masher — Thu, 16 Aug 2007 14:38:20 EDT

I think the fanbase that gets the biggest pass when it comes to jorts and mullets is clearly Ohio State.

What else would you wear when tipping over and burning cars?

The Gentleman Masher

Examining Jorts

Shoopmonster — Thu, 16 Aug 2007 14:37:43 EDT

@Upstate Underdog: I was ridiculed by a New Englander for wearing shorts. I learned him real good.

Shoopmonster

Examining Jorts

Camp Tiger Claw — Thu, 16 Aug 2007 14:36:20 EDT

@What would Kornheiser do?: Ha. Nice jorts dude.

Camp Tiger Claw

Examining Jorts

UpstateUnderdog — Thu, 16 Aug 2007 14:32:07 EDT

I always thought New Englander's had the market cornered on jorts wearers.......and racists.

UpstateUnderdog

Examining Jorts

What Would Kornheiser Do? Presented by Peniston Fuels — Thu, 16 Aug 2007 14:31:46 EDT

It is 105 degrees today.

Make fun of me. I'm wearing fucking jorts.

What Would Kornheiser Do? Presented by Peniston Fuels

Examining Jorts

apostles03 — Thu, 16 Aug 2007 14:31:23 EDT

JORTS? I'd rather discuss JARTS, which were banned from sale in the United States by the Consumer Product Safety Commission on December 19, 1988.

That, and Bag O' Glass.

apostles03

Examining Jorts

G Voll the Mole — Thu, 16 Aug 2007 14:29:17 EDT

I'm not exaggerating when I say this, there is no single article of clothing that an SEC man could be accused of wearing that would make the accused wearer angrier or provoke more rage. Not one.

Will links to jorts post => Will hates jorts => Will hates the SEC => Will hates the South.

G Voll the Mole

Examining Jorts

The Fan’s Attic — Thu, 16 Aug 2007 14:23:37 EDT

I wrote a post a while back questioning Greg Oden's decision to wear jorts. I didn't realize it was "Ok" for black guys to wear them, but my commenters let me know.

Greg Oden, if you're reading, I'm sorry.

The Fan’s Attic

Examining Jorts

mfdoom — Thu, 16 Aug 2007 14:20:32 EDT

"until I started the Dixieland Delight Tour"

aka RJYH part II

mfdoom

Examining Jorts

Stev D — Thu, 16 Aug 2007 14:19:34 EDT

Stone Cold Steve Austin was poured into his jorts.

Stev D

Examining Jorts

Charlie Kerfelds Jetsons Tee — Thu, 16 Aug 2007 14:16:55 EDT

Majerle and Barkley were my guys when it came to "NBA Jam."

Hooray for cool white dudes.

Charlie Kerfelds Jetsons Tee

Examining Jorts

Camp Tiger Claw — Thu, 16 Aug 2007 14:16:17 EDT

First post: Jorts
LAst post: Ron Zook

Gator bookends.

Camp Tiger Claw

Examining Jorts

A Pimp Named DaveR — Thu, 16 Aug 2007 14:15:04 EDT

*Interestingly, black men have escaped universal derision for wearing jorts. After deep contemplation I have two hypotheses for why this is: 1. Black men's dark legs look better in denim shorts than white men's pale legs; 2. White people are afraid to make fun of black people.

Nah ganna di'it.... Nah ganna di'it. Wouldn't be prudent... at this juncture....

A Pimp Named DaveR

Examining Jorts

losloseeboy — Thu, 16 Aug 2007 14:14:40 EDT

Fuck, I have a sweet pair of Levi jorts.

Passed down from my father.

They are my going to Yankee stadium shorts.

losloseeboy