Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets - Deadspin Comments

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

Trackback — Tue, 18 Mar 2008 11:06:55 EDT

The second of our opening round contests pits the mascots of two beleaguered NFC franchises against one another.

Trackback

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

Tyrone Briggs — Wed, 05 Dec 2007 17:46:44 EST

Fuck Lion.

Anything else would simply be uncivilized.

Tyrone Briggs

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

1980 David Bowie From The Music Video Ashes To Ashes — Tue, 13 Nov 2007 22:22:58 EST

Good God, how did I not read this until now? Brilliance!

1980 David Bowie From The Music Video Ashes To Ashes

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

philly215 — Sat, 25 Aug 2007 00:55:56 EDT

The problem with the rap culture is clearly displayed by many of the comments on this page. To many young African Americans males naively believe that their words and actions are understood and acceptable by the greater society.

The truth is they are looked upon by most of white America as present day Steppin Fetchin acts. Yes some of them are getting paid in the rap game and this along with the fame is part of the allure. But truth be told, it is another means by which others belittle us (African Americans) and keeps us focused on triva instead of moving on the many issues that we need to address in order to empower our communities.

I know Ques, know him very well, and have mad love for him. As the facebook questionaire displays he is a very witted kid, but also quite naive. He used urban slang and text message form as a means to enhance the humor that he was sharing with his supposed friends. Not truly understanding that in this world you don't have 300 friends via the internet.

Yet, underneath all the perceived ignorance that others interpret after reading his facebook, is the genius that is urban hip hop. The ability to create language and imagergy that adds color to the written and spoken word. When read by most African Americans and those familiair with urban slang, the answers are very clear, clever and understood. And over the years many urban slang words have found their way into our everyday vocabulary, i.e. phat,bling,playa,talk to the hand, baller,and now perhaps f#%k lion (the male penis, with its mane below the navel). No he didn't make a mistake and left off the ing.

If this facebook was written by Chris Rock, Ice Cube or Dave Chappell it would have been taken for what it was, humor with a hardcore urban edge. But it wasn't written by a famous comedian or rapper, but instead by a kid who just happens to be a football player at the Univ of Michigan. Thus he made a bad mistake. Not taking into account his current status and what he now represents.

He was warned to be careful about what he put out in cyberspace. He naively didn't think that it would come to this. But what helps us to grow is learning from the mistakes we make. He'll get over this.

In closing, I am not a fan of harecore rap and its negative elements, but I understand the culture. I also truly believe that many of the posters here understood that Ques wrote in the manner he did to enhance the humor. Yet you choose to make it as if he would write a term paper in the same manner. If you truly didn't get it, than perhaps you are as dumb as you are trying to make him out to be.

philly215

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

Kid Canada — Fri, 24 Aug 2007 20:39:44 EDT

@Shea Guevara:

My first impression too.

Kid Canada

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

SantaBarbaraWahoo — Fri, 24 Aug 2007 19:37:16 EDT

Fuck Lion > Sex Cannon?

SantaBarbaraWahoo

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

drjayphd — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 17:07:46 EDT

@Doxidan, Gentle Doxidan: Well played, good sir. Although I believe this might be the greatest part:

Do you shower every single day?

shit i at least get a bird bath but yea i shower everyday dis summer its 2 hot not 2

drjayphd

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

RadioMan — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 16:14:47 EDT

Can you buy a Fuck Lion at the Fuck Petsmart?

RadioMan

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

Shenanigans — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 16:07:56 EDT

Boat or bus?

bus bitch! i cant swim

Does he need to wait until next year to be a hall of fame nominee? I think he'd be like gale sayers- short but brilliant career

Shenanigans

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

Philistine — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 15:04:01 EDT

Sometimes the pyramids just make themselves...

Philistine

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

Sigerson — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 13:33:51 EDT

Can we nominate Marques for the DHOF?

Sigerson

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

A Pimp Named DaveR — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 12:59:52 EDT

@Chad Sexington: Coulda been worse. He could have answered:

do frid chiken be a fruit? lol i love me chiken.

A Pimp Named DaveR

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

Chad Sexington — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 12:56:07 EDT

I don't care how real you're trying to keep it Marques, when a survey asks you your favorite fruit... say apple, say orange, say peach, say whatever, but don't ever fucking say watermelon. I don't care if you like it like nothing else... don't say it.

/Cosby rant

Chad Sexington

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

Innings Eater — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 12:55:51 EDT

What is your favorite food?
I like 2 licky licky licky licky… lol

Sportshuman of the Century?

Innings Eater

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

LloydCarrPoolLane — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 12:54:09 EDT

Ummmmm.....Fuck it..I got Nuthin'....

LloydCarrPoolLane

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

Jen P — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 12:49:54 EDT

I'm actually afraid to go read the whole thing because I don't want to make myself permanently dumber.

Jen P

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

jabostick — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 12:49:13 EDT

Should my new Fantasy Team name be Da Realest Carlas or Da Licky Licky Licky's. Or shud i jus uze bof a dem muthafuckin namez.

That interview reminded me of the Chappelle stand up quote "...and fuck carrots!"

jabostick

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

GirlLegal29 — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 12:47:38 EDT

@HugsFromHarold:
Liger = Tiger + Lion
Fuck Lion = Lion + [Wilt, Magic, Kemp, Kobe, fill-in-the-blank with appropriate name}

GirlLegal29

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

theslacker — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 12:47:10 EDT

@Doxidan, Gentle Doxidan:
Well, I hope for your sake you aren't turning into "dat person."

theslacker

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

Windier E. Megatons — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 12:46:11 EDT

Can we just pull a Roberto Clemente and induct this guy into the Deadspin Hall of Fame immediately?

Windier E. Megatons

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

GirlLegal29 — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 12:45:27 EDT

@Athletic Supporter:
"But I fuck wit gatorade"--I had NO idea that gatorade doubled as a lubricant. Interesting.

GirlLegal29

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

HugsFromHarold — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 12:40:48 EDT

I'd expect ex-college football player Luscious Pussey to own a Fuck Lion.

also: maybe West Fuckin' Virginia should change their mascot to the Fuck Lions

HugsFromHarold

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

Stranger in the Alps — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 12:39:49 EDT

His prose really capture the nuanced colloquialisms of today's urbanite collegiate athlete.

Tell me this does not carry on the proud tradition of Hemingway...

i feel like killin somebody so dont be dat person… lol….not really dont be dat person

brilliant

Stranger in the Alps

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

Jen P — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 12:39:00 EDT

I swear I'm going to pee my pants, I'm laughing so hard. Well done, people.

Jen P

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

theslacker — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 12:38:37 EDT

Michael Vick is interested in breeding Fuck Lions.

theslacker

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

HugsFromHarold — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 12:37:08 EDT

Fuck Lion vs. Liger: who wins? discuss.

[a lot shorter than my last commnet]

HugsFromHarold

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

Signal to Noise — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 12:33:47 EDT

Marques says he's chugged a 40 oz. in 2 minutes and 37 seconds. I've got a new goal for life now.

Signal to Noise

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

Fawn Liebowitz — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 12:27:26 EDT

@Doxidan, Gentle Doxidan: I jus went thru read it again vote 75 2008 H o Fame!

Fawn Liebowitz

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

Doxidan, Gentle Doxidan — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 12:22:31 EDT

I just added him as a friend, with the personal message, "I, too, have a fuck lion."

Methinks I just turned into "that guy."

Doxidan, Gentle Doxidan

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

Scout — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 12:22:10 EDT

God, can you see HIM during the ESPN Employee meeting?

Gi' me my bike rak now niggaz, don't fuck wit me.

Scout

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

bigboneded — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 12:18:20 EDT

"Do you read harry potter books?

who da fuck is dat!"

This answer REALLY surprised me. As erudite as this fellow is.

bigboneded

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

Juancho — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 12:17:05 EDT

@BigRicks: Don't you mean Loin King?

Juancho

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

LeNoceur — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 12:15:46 EDT

@Lady Andrea: I've seen that bear, too

LeNoceur

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

Doxidan, Gentle Doxidan — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 12:15:18 EDT

Multiple DHOF 2008 nominees from this. My favorite is his favorite element: Water. Fuck dat Earf Wind an Fire shit. Fuckin punk-ass September

Doxidan, Gentle Doxidan

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

TastesLikeBurning — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 12:15:18 EDT

@Ed Jucker: Slocum and Hand. Hand and Slocum. Huh.

TastesLikeBurning

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

McNutty — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 12:15:10 EDT

Do you shower every single day?

shit i at least get a bird bath but yea i shower everyday dis summer its 2 hot not 2

How do you wash yourself in a bird bath?

McNutty

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

CDNMoose — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 12:14:36 EDT

Fuck Lions are *pretty* good...but everybody knows Fuck Ligers are where it's at.

CDNMoose

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

CliffX — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 12:14:16 EDT

Also:

What size shoe do you wear?

A BIG ENOUF SIZE 2 BOOT CHU DA FUCK UP OUTTA HERE

is solid gold.

CliffX

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

Chico Mike — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 12:13:12 EDT

I'm feeling guilty for laughing that he loves watermelon and can't swim. Stereotype city, baby. I'm going to hell.

Chico Mike

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

UkraineNotWeak — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 12:13:10 EDT

@Lady Andrea:

Figures it was a giant black bear because no polar bear would've been able to accomplish that feat.

UkraineNotWeak

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

CliffX — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 12:11:58 EDT

Gilbert Areans must be so jealous.

CliffX

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

Sam the Lion — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 12:09:35 EDT

I used to live a couple of blocks away from this kid! He went to West Catholic with Derrell Hand.

Sam the Lion

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

Swordchucks, yo — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 12:09:15 EDT

Comcast should use this profile as a template for making fake message board posts about the Big Ten Network.

Swordchucks, yo

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

Lady Andrea — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 12:09:13 EDT

@Diddly: I swear to god. My boyfriend saw it too.

@Upstate Underdog: nope, giant black bear.

@Juancho: there was quite a crowd and the ripple of gasps as people realized what was going on was oustanding.

Lady Andrea

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

SA — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 12:08:44 EDT

@Yostal: I love that answer too. It's perfect somehow.

@Windier E. Megatons: +1

I said it on EDSBS and I'll say it here-he makes me proud to be a Michigan fan.

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

WahooMcDaniel — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 12:08:13 EDT

@BigRicks:

I'd have to say yes, but maybe I watch too much "Survivorman".

WahooMcDaniel

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

Peter Cavan — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 12:07:30 EDT

I always liked Tony Bennett's classic song "Come Fuck Wit Me."

Peter Cavan

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

A Pimp Named DaveR — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 12:07:30 EDT

While I think Facebook is one of the best face-booking sites on the internet, I can't help but be disturbed by the using of the ebonics (especially fuck lion) and the stupidity in the profiles of black players. Especially when you consider that someone who works there is probably white.

A Pimp Named DaveR

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

theslacker — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 12:06:09 EDT

@Fawn Leibowitz:
shit - niggaz numba be 75, he already be droppin hintz n shit.

theslacker

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

TastesLikeBurning — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 12:05:19 EDT

@Windier E. Megatons: Wow, just excellent.

TastesLikeBurning

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

The_Capital_City_Goofball — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 12:05:02 EDT

Do you eat cold cereal at night?

what da fuck is cold cereal and what da fuck is night

The_Capital_City_Goofball

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

Gnarls_Woodson — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 12:05:01 EDT

"fuckin warm fuck dat hot shit and dat cold
shit Id rather it be in da middle"

I agree.

/Goldilocks

Gnarls_Woodson

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

Fawn Liebowitz — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 12:03:58 EDT

If this guy makes the NFL we will no doubt be casting our 75% of votes in his favor sometime in the future...

Fawn Liebowitz

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

BigRicks — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 12:03:45 EDT

My favorite Disney movie is Lion King 2: Simba the Fuck Lion

BigRicks

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

Tuffy — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 12:01:51 EDT

@Windier E. Megatons: +1 #### lion

Tuffy

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

shtickless — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 12:01:21 EDT

Yes, Marques. I do like bananas. Especially in my cereal.

shtickless

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

theslacker — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 11:59:58 EDT

@ClueHeywood:
I'm gonna get my mom a mug with "Realest Bitch Alive" on it.

theslacker

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

theslacker — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 11:58:41 EDT

Your favorite Disney Films?

fuck disney

Was that the one with the talking fish?

theslacker

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

Windier E. Megatons — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 11:58:22 EDT

@TastesLikeBurning: Did somebody say LOLcats?

[i235.photobucket.com]

Windier E. Megatons

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

David Hume — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 11:57:36 EDT

@Lady Andrea: Was he surrounded by a crowd of appreciative twinks?

David Hume

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

Juancho — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 11:56:29 EDT

@Tuffy: Playing Edna Turnblad, right? Hey, Travolta is a total bear.

Juancho

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

Juancho — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 11:55:12 EDT

@UkraineNotWeak: One of the many reasons he likes men now.

Juancho

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

Avoid the Clap, Jimmy Dugan — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 11:54:21 EDT

@TastesLikeBurning: I UP IN UR HOUSE

PLAYA HATIN'

Avoid the Clap, Jimmy Dugan

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

UkraineNotWeak — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 11:53:14 EDT

"Mrs. Krabappel and Principal Skinner were in the closet making babies and I saw one of the babies and then the baby looked at me."

UkraineNotWeak

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

StupidAngelos — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 11:52:35 EDT

So...Marques is a frequent commentor at Fanhouse, right?

StupidAngelos

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

Juancho — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 11:52:21 EDT

@Lady Andrea: In front of all the little childrew? Ewww!

Juancho

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

UpstateUnderdog — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 11:52:04 EDT

@Lady Andrea: Are you sure it wasn't Ron Jeremy at the zoo ?

UpstateUnderdog

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

Luthur — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 11:51:55 EDT

"Why did the chicken cross the road?

cuz he was all fiend out"

Applause.

Luthur

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

theslacker — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 11:51:54 EDT

Get this guy opposite Corso and Herbstreit RIGHT NOW. Hopefully Corso never has to put on a lion head mascot.

theslacker

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

StupidAngelos — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 11:50:59 EDT

"The contest is over...give that man the $10,000!"

StupidAngelos

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

Dan Daoust — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 11:50:31 EDT

If I want a fuck lion, I'll just look in the mirror, thank you very much.

Dan Daoust

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

diddly — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 11:50:25 EDT

Is a young fuck lion a pussy cat?

@Lady Andrea: seriously?

diddly

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

UkraineNotWeak — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 11:50:20 EDT

@being sven:

Just make sure that the Anal Aardvark never sneaks up on you from behind.

UkraineNotWeak

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

Tuffy — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 11:50:08 EDT

@Lady Andrea: And now he's in the traveling version of "Hairspray".

I think I got a regular lion instead of the #### one. How can I be sure?

Tuffy

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

Yostal — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 11:49:55 EDT

My favorite answer was the deeply existential answer to where he wanted to travel next and he said "Da future."

Because really, isn't that where we're all headed next?

Yostal

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

Gary the No Trash Cougar — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 11:49:52 EDT

If the next new commenter's handle isn't Fuck Lion, I propose they have their privlidges immideately revoked

Gary the No Trash Cougar

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

being_sven — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 11:48:48 EDT

Are Fuck Lion and Sexual Harassment Panda natural enemies?

being_sven

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

Lady Andrea — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 11:48:28 EDT

@BigRicks: once at the St. Louis Zoo, I saw a bear performing self-fellatio.

Lady Andrea

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

GorgeForeman — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 11:47:17 EDT

@GorgeForeman:

With confusion, delight, horror, awe, fear and incredulity. And blood.

GorgeForeman

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

shea_guevara — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 11:47:12 EDT

This totally reads like the Dugout's take on Dmitri Young.

"what in the fuck is fruit by the foot?"

shea_guevara

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

BigRicks — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 11:47:12 EDT

@WahooMcDaniel: Fuck Lion > Masturbating Bear?

BigRicks

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

UpstateUnderdog — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 11:46:10 EDT

If Marques was into older women would he have a fuck cougar ?

UpstateUnderdog

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

PenskeMaterial — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 11:45:36 EDT

@goathair: Dude gives definitive opinions about as well as Joe Morgan.

Seriously, I could read this thing all day.

PenskeMaterial

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

ScottVanPeltIsMyHero — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 11:45:09 EDT

@throwbot: and a 96 Impala SS in every garage.

ScottVanPeltIsMyHero

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

ChiSwede — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 11:45:01 EDT

@Phony Gwynn: Yea, that's true. Personally, I prefer the protection of a monkey that knows tae kwon do.

ChiSwede

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

WahooMcDaniel — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 11:44:46 EDT

@Da_Mang:
Fuck Lion > Sex Panther > Financial Panther

WahooMcDaniel

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

Gary the No Trash Cougar — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 11:44:34 EDT

@GorgeForeman: With Joy?

Gary the No Trash Cougar

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

GorgeForeman — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 11:42:59 EDT

My eyes are bleeding.

GorgeForeman

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

brougham — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 11:41:48 EDT

The anti-caps lock will serve him well as the new Philly Inquirer columnist.

brougham

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

throwbot — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 11:41:07 EDT

@ScottVanPeltIsMyHero: A watermelon in every kitchen and a fuck lion in every backyard!

throwbot

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

Athletic Supporter v0.42beta — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 11:40:26 EDT

Vitamin Water or Gatorade?
Bof of dem shits is nasty but i fuck wit gatorade

Brian Urlacher does not approve.

Athletic Supporter v0.42beta

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

The Bad One — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 11:40:20 EDT

Where is Waldo?
i killed dat punk muthafucka he owed me money

Damn it, and I thought I was so close to finding him.

In all fairness, the guy was an academic non-qualifier coming out of high school. Rather than bail out and go to MSU or Penn State like a lot of people were advising him, he stuck with Michigan and has worked for the past year to get himself in a position where he can be a part of the team, and I have to respect that.

The Bad One

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

Charlie Kerfelds Jetsons Tee — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 11:40:08 EDT

@Hit Bull Win Steak: Let me put it this way: he spelled "Michigan" with a 6.

Charlie Kerfelds Jetsons Tee

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

being_sven — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 11:39:38 EDT

Fuck Lion > Dry Hump Goat

being_sven

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

ScottVanPeltIsMyHero — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 11:38:50 EDT

Who are you going to vote for in 2008?
me

Well, I think I found a new candidate to support. Get this guy on The Daily Show immediately!

ScottVanPeltIsMyHero

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

diddly — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 11:38:40 EDT

@Gumbercules: No, I believe the flip flop question upset him the most. Which is even more perplexing.

diddly

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

Detective Bunk — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 11:38:06 EDT

Hey, Yostal. . . .naw, too easy.

Detective Bunk

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

Weed Against Speed — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 11:37:21 EDT

@UkraineNotWeak: Aha.

Weed Against Speed

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

Triple B — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 11:37:19 EDT

@UkraineNotWeak: +1 well done.

Triple B

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

Gary the No Trash Cougar — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 11:37:08 EDT

Which is worse? A bad laugh or a bad cough?

dam mafucka u just fucked up da mood, i guess i aint sayin no more jokes

Of all the questions, this one upset him the most?

Gary the No Trash Cougar

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

goathair — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 11:36:55 EDT

Would you rather be hot or cold?

fuckin warm fuck dat hot shit and dat cold
shit Id rather it be in da middle

I agree, moderate temperatures are best.

goathair

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

Weed Against Speed — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 11:36:54 EDT

Stephon Marbury hopes we haven't built this guy up just so we can knock him down.

Weed Against Speed

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

TastesLikeBurning — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 11:36:52 EDT

@jabostick: Shit, let's give him a whole weekend. We had weekend daddy, weekend uncles, weekend mommies. Now ... weekend licky licky licky licky!

TastesLikeBurning

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

Lady Andrea — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 11:36:21 EDT

@PenskeMaterial: it's like some kind of brain teaser. They should put these on the LSAT.

Lady Andrea

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

UkraineNotWeak — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 11:35:59 EDT

Stephon Marbury considers Lion Fucking a sport.

UkraineNotWeak

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

Dr. Michael Mancini — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 11:35:41 EDT

What size shoe do you wear?

a big enouf size 2 boot chu da fuck up outta here

I believe I put that on the form for my wedding tux.

Dr. Michael Mancini

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

MY LEFT TIT — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 11:35:12 EDT

DS sure is hatin' on the black man this morning.

MY LEFT TIT

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

ScottVanPeltIsMyHero — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 11:35:07 EDT

When do you plan on getting married?
it dont matta cuz i hope my wife know ima be playa 4 life

Ladies...

ScottVanPeltIsMyHero

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

Juancho — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 11:34:53 EDT

@jwaves: I belive Uday Hussein used to use them for sport.

Juancho

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

Phony Gwynn — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 11:34:47 EDT

"Anyone can get past a dog. But nobody fucks with a lion."

Phony Gwynn

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

UkraineNotWeak — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 11:34:45 EDT

@jwaves:

I'm sure you can get one in Bangkok. You can get practically anything in Bangkok.

UkraineNotWeak

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

TurdsAndWhey — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 11:34:26 EDT

Go Blue. Hail to Da Shit.

TurdsAndWhey

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

Gary the No Trash Cougar — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 11:34:10 EDT

No Words...should have sent a poet

Gary the No Trash Cougar

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

Triple B — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 11:33:56 EDT

@Camp Tiger Claw: I stand corrected.

Triple B

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

jwaves2007 — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 11:33:45 EDT

Dear Marques,
I am intrigued by your ideas and would like to subscribe to your newsletter.
jwaves

p.s. Where can I purchase a fuck lion?

jwaves2007

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

PenskeMaterial — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 11:33:23 EDT

@PenskeMaterial: *bit. Foolish person.

PenskeMaterial

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

pr0FF3ss0r_j3rkwh3at — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 11:33:17 EDT

if yo' fuck lion only knew...

pr0FF3ss0r_j3rkwh3at

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

Triple B — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 11:33:10 EDT

Monkey knife fights?

Triple B

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

Camp Tiger Claw — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 11:33:08 EDT

@GlenAndersonLikesBoys: Sometimes:

Boat or bus?

bus bitch! i cant swim

Camp Tiger Claw

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

Becky_MI — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 11:32:53 EDT

@Chowday: @UkraineNotWeak: Yes - "rockwilder" is often used in place of Rottweilers. I know, I love it too.

Becky_MI

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

The Fan’s Attic — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 11:32:46 EDT

Kill the spider or let it out?
man! fuck dat spider

Do they make rapestands for spiders?

The Fan’s Attic

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

PenskeMaterial — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 11:32:31 EDT

@GlenAndersonLikesBoys: It's got to be a bid difficult to find someone to fence a chimpanzee.

PenskeMaterial

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

throwbot — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 11:32:25 EDT

@Hit Bull Win Steak:@GlenAndersonLikesBoys: I was thinking he would feed the chimp to the fuck lion.

throwbot

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

jabostick — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 11:32:03 EDT

Can we not only nominate him for DHOF but also get him to do a Heisman preview or something?

jabostick

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

Triple B — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 11:31:53 EDT

@Hit Bull Win Steak: well it's the opposite for MJ.

Triple B

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

UkraineNotWeak — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 11:31:30 EDT

@PenskeMaterial:

rottweiler? pit bull?

UkraineNotWeak

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

Chowday — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 11:31:16 EDT

@PenskeMaterial: I think he means a Rottweiler or Pitt Bull so it can eat your cat?

Chowday

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

ErikSternberger — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 11:31:10 EDT

I nominate him for a column in the Philadelphia Inquirer. I hear they have an opening now.

ErikSternberger

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

Becky_MI — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 11:30:48 EDT

It's Great (uh huh)
To BE (That's Right)
A Michigan Wolverine...

*EXCEPT* when represented by this guy. Holy Hell.

Becky_MI

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

Triple B — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 11:30:39 EDT

What is your favorite food?

I like 2 licky licky licky licky… lol

I guess the stereotype doesn't apply to him.

Triple B

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

Hit Bull Win Steak — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 11:30:33 EDT

@GlenAndersonLikesBoys: Sell the chimp, fuck the Lion?

Hit Bull Win Steak

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

Shakεy fka Flαmεtown — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 11:29:51 EDT

Anyone wanna send him a commentor invite?

Shakεy fka Flαmεtown

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

PenskeMaterial — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 11:29:33 EDT

Are you a cat or a dog person?

im fuckin wit a rock or a pit just so it can cha cat

Okay, so I was able to follow most of this interview, but this one's got me stumped. Where's an old lady who speaks jive when you need one?

PenskeMaterial

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

McCroskey — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 11:29:24 EDT

T-Mobile, U.S. Cellular, Cingular/AT&T, or Sprint/Nextel

sprint/nextel bitch! dey got da best phones

Never too early to work up some endorsements

McCroskey

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

NittanyFelon — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 11:29:07 EDT

Gotta pass a test?

Lloyd Carr is so proud. Goddamn dirty bastard Wolverines...

NittanyFelon

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

MannysHeadStash — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 11:28:52 EDT

"Nice f**k marmot."

MannysHeadStash

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

Little Wooden Boy — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 11:28:50 EDT

Wait, I thought we were only doing DHoF for this year? Is this an early candidate for next year, considering it seems that no one is getting in this year?

Seriously kids...Pacman? Ned? These are surefire hall of famers.

Little Wooden Boy

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

Tebow2007 — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 11:28:49 EDT

Favorite fruit?

watermelon

***Gold Jerry, GOLD!***

Tebow2007

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

Chowday — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 11:28:37 EDT

@PeteJäyhawk™: That answer was actually clever

Chowday

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

LingeringBursitis — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 11:28:34 EDT

He's still single, you know, wookin pa nub in all da wong paces

LingeringBursitis

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

UkraineNotWeak — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 11:28:04 EDT

@Da_Mang:

The Anal Aardvark beats them all.

UkraineNotWeak

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

ChiSwede — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 11:27:40 EDT

@throwbot: I hope he knows the secret is in the twist.

ChiSwede

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

J-No — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 11:27:30 EDT

@Mackey Sassers Right Arm: My first car was a '78 Monte Carlo. I loved that car.

J-No

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

Juancho — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 11:27:26 EDT

@Suss--: He's like Prince.

Juancho

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

PeteJayhawk — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 11:27:18 EDT

Space, bitches.

PeteJayhawk

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

Triple B — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 11:27:12 EDT

What would you do if Michael Jackson asked you out

I be like yea and den ima rob em', ima steal all his shit and im stealin bubbles and im sellin dat muthafucka

One post about this guy and he's already a legend.

Triple B

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

UpstateUnderdog — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 11:27:02 EDT

@throwbot: Good to know he is familiar with the movie "Beerfest".

UpstateUnderdog

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

Juancho — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 11:27:01 EDT

@Hit Bull Win Steak: The essay written in crayon.

Juancho

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

Matt Sussman — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 11:26:45 EDT

"Do you like bananas?

do u"

If he interviewed himself, this question could have lasted for hours.

Matt Sussman

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

SlickBomb — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 11:26:35 EDT

Fuck Lion is the next great Deadspin catchphrase.

SlickBomb

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

UpstateUnderdog — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 11:26:24 EDT

is it too late to nominate him for the Deadspin HOF ?

UpstateUnderdog

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

Steve518 — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 11:26:23 EDT

@TastesLikeBurning: I CAN HAZ FUK LYIN?

Steve518

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

Chowday — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 11:26:07 EDT

what da fuck is cold cereal

Well it's cereal...but, not hot...you know...oh nevermind.

Chowday

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

throwbot — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 11:25:57 EDT

@Upstate Underdog: he's ready 4 da boot!

throwbot

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

Off The Baggie — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 11:25:56 EDT

@Stev D: I'm partial to the 95 Caprice Classic myself

Off The Baggie

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

TastesLikeBurning — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 11:25:53 EDT

@PenskeMaterial: ...hon.

TastesLikeBurning

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

Da_Mang — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 11:25:17 EDT

Fuck Lion > Sex Panther

Da_Mang

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

ILovePaleHoseandPaleHos — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 11:24:49 EDT

@J-No: It would be wrong if he didn't.

ILovePaleHoseandPaleHos

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

MannysHeadStash — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 11:24:40 EDT

I like how this question seemed to stump him for a moment, and he expressed the amount of time he thought about it via the ellipse.

Favorite element?

i would have 2 go with………….. water

MannysHeadStash

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

UpstateUnderdog — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 11:24:34 EDT

Seriously, did the guys over at The Dugout write this. If this is real I'm somewhat impressed that he drank a 40 oz. bottle of malt liquor that fast.

UpstateUnderdog

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

HazelMaesLandingStrip — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 11:24:32 EDT

Ookie has a few extra rape stands floating around if you're feeling horny and the Fuck Lion isnt in the mood.

HazelMaesLandingStrip

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

Hit Bull Win Steak — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 11:24:32 EDT

his admissions application must've been a hoot.

Hit Bull Win Steak

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

J-No — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 11:24:13 EDT

Is it wrong that this guy scares the crap out of me?

J-No

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

diddly — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 11:24:12 EDT

Define yourself in 3 words…

im da shit

I don't think there's a better possible answer.

diddly

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

Clare — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 11:23:34 EDT

Hometown: 46 & WOODLAND AVE (LINMORE BITCH), PA

Marques Slocum makes me proud to be a Philadelphian too.

Clare

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

ChiSwede — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 11:23:34 EDT

"Would you rather lose an arm or a leg?

what da fuck! i needs bof of my muthafuckin body parts"

Ned, is that you?

ChiSwede

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

PenskeMaterial — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 11:23:19 EDT

I think his facebook page is racist and gay-bashing.

/girl detective

PenskeMaterial

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

Tickenest — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 11:23:05 EDT

If you could have one super human power what would you choose?

come on now i wanna fly i hate walkin dat shit overrated

Yes, walking is overrated. Preach on, good sir.

Tickenest

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

Stev D — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 11:23:00 EDT

The 96 Impala SS is a baaaaaaaaaaaad car. I approve

Stev D

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

Tebow2007 — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 11:22:44 EDT

lets get some construda in this muthafucka...

Tebow2007

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

Camp Tiger Claw — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 11:22:42 EDT

I used fuck a girl that worked at Food Lion. Is that relevant?

Camp Tiger Claw

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

Paper Cut — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 11:22:38 EDT

I swear I saw this guy in Hamsterdam the other night.

Paper Cut

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

diddly — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 11:22:21 EDT

Would you rather lose an arm or a leg?

what da fuck! i needs bof of my muthafuckin body parts

No wonder Michigan can't beat tOSU - the fucking guy's only got one arm and one leg.

diddly

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

Juancho — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 11:22:17 EDT

@Chicago Jones: I went with the Fuck Impala- them fuckas is fast!

Ok, people were making jokes about how easy it is to get into Michigan State last night. In high school, I knew a kid who was Taiwanese, awesome at math and scinece, and wanted to be an engineer, and Michigan put him on a waiting list. He went to tOSU.

Juancho

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

apostles03 — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 11:22:12 EDT

fuck disney

apostles03

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

Lady Andrea — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 11:21:58 EDT

A fuck lion? I want mine to say, "I do believe in spooks, I do believe in spooks. I do, I do, I do, I do, I do believe in spooks."

Lady Andrea

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

UpstateUnderdog — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 11:21:20 EDT

My head hurts after reading that. I'm also guessing that if his favorite element is water that he is not a chemistry major.

UpstateUnderdog

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

UkraineNotWeak — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 11:20:00 EDT

Judging from his answers, I see the greatest playwright to come from Michigan since Arthur Miller.

UkraineNotWeak

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

Shakεy fka Flαmεtown — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 11:19:26 EDT

Walking past a beggar, spare change or ignore?

shit ima be askin him 4 sum change

Priceless.

Shakεy fka Flαmεtown

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

Chief Wahoo — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 11:17:44 EDT

A fuck lion I can deal with, just keep the blowjob bears over on Gawker.

Chief Wahoo

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

ClueHeywood — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 11:17:42 EDT

Anyone know where I can get my mother a "da realest bitch alive" t-shirt? "World's greatest mom" just seems so bland now.

ClueHeywood

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

TastesLikeBurning — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 11:17:30 EDT

It's like LOLCats turned to ebonics.

TastesLikeBurning

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

Weed Against Speed — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 11:17:26 EDT

He must have scored well on his ACT's.

Weed Against Speed

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

Chicago Jones — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 11:17:08 EDT

I opted for the F**K Ocelot- more nimble if you know what I mean.

Chicago Jones

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

Off The Baggie — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 11:16:59 EDT

And to think Jim Harbaugh said they were lowering their academic standards...

Off The Baggie

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

Triple B — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 11:16:55 EDT

He only admires real bitches ... can't argue with that.

Triple B

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

UkraineNotWeak — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 11:16:40 EDT

He wouldn't happen to be related to Laurence "Kool Aid" Maroney?

UkraineNotWeak

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

throwbot — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 11:16:29 EDT

He's hoping to get drafted in the first round by the Detroit Fuck Lions.

throwbot

Marques Slocum Has Fascinating Pets

BradLee — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 11:16:06 EDT

I bet CARLA is sooooo proud. She da proudes bitch ever.

BradLee