NFL Season Preview: San Diego Chargers - Deadspin Comments

NFL Season Preview: San Diego Chargers

The Coach is KILLING Me! — Fri, 31 Aug 2007 16:35:58 EDT

As Redskins fan in San Diego, I have been telling everyone who will listen, "Trust me, this Norv Turner thing will not end well." Opposing teams always feel confident down 4 points with 3 minutes to go against a Norv Turner team, no matter what point in the season. At least Marty choked in the playoffs, which meant you were in the, you know, playoffs.

The Coach is KILLING Me!

NFL Season Preview: San Diego Chargers

WahooMcDaniel — Fri, 31 Aug 2007 16:23:16 EDT

@Colorado Handball Runner-up: Pete Jayhawk distilled it better than I did. When Norvell was OC for the Cowboys me and some buddies came up with a list of things that could have happened to his face. "Being dragged down a gravel road" got a lot less funnier after the whole James Byrd thing.

WahooMcDaniel

NFL Season Preview: San Diego Chargers

Boy Howdy — Fri, 31 Aug 2007 16:18:28 EDT

@Signal to Noise: Amen, although I'm sure it'll pop up in the debriefing otherwise.

Boy Howdy

NFL Season Preview: San Diego Chargers

Colorado Handball Runner-up — Fri, 31 Aug 2007 16:11:17 EDT

@WahooMcDaniel:

The rock candy slingshot comment is the best thing I've read on here in quite sometime

Colorado Handball Runner-up

NFL Season Preview: San Diego Chargers

Colorado Handball Runner-up — Fri, 31 Aug 2007 16:08:35 EDT

I was worried Denver wouldn't win the West for a few years with the talent in SD.... then they hired Norv Turner and the Mile High City partied. Thank you Chargers

Colorado Handball Runner-up

NFL Season Preview: San Diego Chargers

Signal to Noise — Fri, 31 Aug 2007 15:45:29 EDT

Oh, and one more note for MJD: I request the return of Good Lo/Bad Lo if the Smorgasboard comes back.

Signal to Noise

NFL Season Preview: San Diego Chargers

J-No — Fri, 31 Aug 2007 15:42:44 EDT

As for the actual nuts and bolts of the Chargers, and what kinds of changes you can expect ... there's not much, really.

I see what you did there.

J-No

NFL Season Preview: San Diego Chargers

Wilf — Fri, 31 Aug 2007 14:56:05 EDT

@CliffX:
"The fact [Norv's] done it multiple times (in Dallas and Pittsburgh)..."

Pittsburgh Maulers?

Wilf

NFL Season Preview: San Diego Chargers

josereyes.theroof wishes to perform Tim Harris's sack-dance for you — Fri, 31 Aug 2007 14:47:25 EDT

@The Man with No Name: Not to go all Nation of Islam Sports-blog, but I think melanin deficiency might play a role in Norv's & Wade's continued employment.

josereyes.theroof wishes to perform Tim Harris's sack-dance for you

NFL Season Preview: San Diego Chargers

jwaves2007 — Fri, 31 Aug 2007 14:40:15 EDT

I don't understand how either Turner can be a NFL coach.

jwaves2007

NFL Season Preview: San Diego Chargers

DM — Fri, 31 Aug 2007 14:38:23 EDT

Bye all, I'm off to go drink before I jump into the cesspool of Jersey traffic. Enjoy, and let's give UM a good time over the weekend, shall we?

NFL Season Preview: San Diego Chargers

Fawn Liebowitz — Fri, 31 Aug 2007 14:34:30 EDT

Norval. Sounds like something I'd take to keep from getting pregnant

Fawn Liebowitz

NFL Season Preview: San Diego Chargers

DM — Fri, 31 Aug 2007 14:22:50 EDT

Smorgasboard!! Smorgasboard!! Smorgasboard!!

(Better do it taintsucker)

NFL Season Preview: San Diego Chargers

HIV 2 Elway — Fri, 31 Aug 2007 14:22:42 EDT

@WahooMcDaniel: Longest day ever? Any Friday NASDAQ rally coupled with rate cut suggestive talk out of Bernanke makes the day fly.

HIV 2 Elway

NFL Season Preview: San Diego Chargers

Pete Gaines — Fri, 31 Aug 2007 14:22:30 EDT

@WahooMcDaniel: I wish I could remember who it was (I think an old college drinking buddy) that once said of Norv, "he looks like his parents fed him rock candy with a slingshot as a kid".

Pete Gaines

NFL Season Preview: San Diego Chargers

Pete Gaines — Fri, 31 Aug 2007 14:21:09 EDT

Norval Eugene Turner. No, really.

Pete Gaines

NFL Season Preview: San Diego Chargers

bizzo5000 — Fri, 31 Aug 2007 14:19:59 EDT

@Dread:
OK, I just looked it up and it's actually Norval.
This explains soooo much.

bizzo5000

NFL Season Preview: San Diego Chargers

HIV 2 Elway — Fri, 31 Aug 2007 14:19:38 EDT

@Signal to Noise: I miss the interception machine.
Good point though on the coaching situation. Hate having to admit it but Herm is a joke, its not too late to bring in Marty and for the Chiefs to make some serious noise.

HIV 2 Elway

NFL Season Preview: San Diego Chargers

WahooMcDaniel — Fri, 31 Aug 2007 14:19:14 EDT

@Peter Cavan: You might have missed his face, but adult acne, pop rocks at point blank range, and speeding face-bound pineapples haven't.

hey-O yes, I said it, he's an ugly man!

/fridaysbeforevacationsarethelongestdaysever

WahooMcDaniel

NFL Season Preview: San Diego Chargers

Jerkwheat vs Gawker IT — Fri, 31 Aug 2007 14:18:55 EDT

NORVBY!

Jerkwheat vs Gawker IT

NFL Season Preview: San Diego Chargers

McSwollenvich — Fri, 31 Aug 2007 14:15:56 EDT

@Dread: Norverina.

McSwollenvich

NFL Season Preview: San Diego Chargers

Signal to Noise — Fri, 31 Aug 2007 14:15:56 EDT

@HIV 2 Elway: admittedly, I kind of miss Jake the Pornstache as a person (as an interception machine, not so much).

@Phony Gwynn: A choker every time but for two years. Fuck that dude.

/sarcasm

I know the Broncos haven't done jack at times without him, but it's process of elimination. If Shanahan can't outcoach NORV!, Herm, and Coach Lunch Money, he shouldn't be coaching.

Signal to Noise

NFL Season Preview: San Diego Chargers

Peter Cavan — Fri, 31 Aug 2007 14:15:51 EDT

@CliffX: When was Norv the Steelers offensive coordinator? I must have missed his face in the booth for the Super Bowl run in 2005.

Peter Cavan

NFL Season Preview: San Diego Chargers

bizzo5000 — Fri, 31 Aug 2007 14:15:35 EDT

@Dread:
His teams season is over by NORVember.

/lame

bizzo5000

NFL Season Preview: San Diego Chargers

bizzo5000 — Fri, 31 Aug 2007 14:14:22 EDT

New weekend daddy makes me wait in the car with the windows up when he goes to the porn shop then forgets to get me my coppy of "Juggs".

bizzo5000

NFL Season Preview: San Diego Chargers

MitchKayak — Fri, 31 Aug 2007 14:13:14 EDT

@parker91: watch out for hop-ons.

MitchKayak

NFL Season Preview: San Diego Chargers

Dread — Fri, 31 Aug 2007 14:12:21 EDT

What exactly is "norv" short for, anyway?

Dread

NFL Season Preview: San Diego Chargers

Lady Andrea — Fri, 31 Aug 2007 14:10:12 EDT

@BigTenObsession: they're both dreamy.

Lady Andrea

NFL Season Preview: San Diego Chargers

HIV 2 Elway — Fri, 31 Aug 2007 14:08:28 EDT

@Phony Gwynn: Amen brother.

HIV 2 Elway

NFL Season Preview: San Diego Chargers

Rob Iracane — Fri, 31 Aug 2007 14:08:15 EDT

@Jake Fratelli: I had him last year and he was pre....hey, wait a minute!

Rob Iracane

NFL Season Preview: San Diego Chargers

Phony Gwynn — Fri, 31 Aug 2007 14:07:45 EDT

@Signal to Noise: Especially now that that loser Elway is gone.

Phony Gwynn

NFL Season Preview: San Diego Chargers

JakeFratelli — Fri, 31 Aug 2007 14:07:44 EDT

Hey Rob, I think my fantasy team is going to do well since I got LT this year. Just thought you'd like to know.

JakeFratelli

NFL Season Preview: San Diego Chargers

HIV 2 Elway — Fri, 31 Aug 2007 14:07:29 EDT

@Signal to Noise: Hate to say it but I think you're right. How about you guys take back Plummer?

HIV 2 Elway

NFL Season Preview: San Diego Chargers

Signal to Noise — Fri, 31 Aug 2007 14:06:30 EDT

@The Man with No Name: I have a hunch that coaches and GMs recommend retreads like NORV! and the fattie with the hottie daughter (Wade) because they know they can beat them.

Signal to Noise

NFL Season Preview: San Diego Chargers

CliffX — Fri, 31 Aug 2007 14:06:23 EDT

I take issue with only one thing in this preview: Norm IS a proven champ, it's only that he does it as an offensive coordinator. The fact he's done it multiple times (in Dallas and Pittsburgh) further blows my mind as to why he can't find success as a head coach, but hell, maybe that changes this year.

That I actually tan for once.

CliffX

NFL Season Preview: San Diego Chargers

The Man with No Name — Fri, 31 Aug 2007 14:04:57 EDT

Am I the only one who doesn't understand why Wade Phillips and Norv Turner still have head coaching jobs in the NFL?

The Man with No Name

NFL Season Preview: San Diego Chargers

Signal to Noise — Fri, 31 Aug 2007 14:04:37 EDT

MJD, we miss you too -- hope the Smorgasboard returns this season.

As for NORV!, I couldn't be happier that he's coaching the Chargers. It means the Broncos will win the division.

Signal to Noise

NFL Season Preview: San Diego Chargers

Detective Bunk — Fri, 31 Aug 2007 14:02:59 EDT

A review by a man who knows his fate before the season even starts.

Detective Bunk

NFL Season Preview: San Diego Chargers

Afino — Fri, 31 Aug 2007 14:01:42 EDT

@ArkansasFred:

I didn't see you say that too, but I'm glad someone's on bord with me.

(intentional spelling mistake)

Afino

NFL Season Preview: San Diego Chargers

parker91 — Fri, 31 Aug 2007 14:01:08 EDT

@Suss--: you should hold out for a stair car.

parker91

NFL Season Preview: San Diego Chargers

Matt Sussman — Fri, 31 Aug 2007 13:59:37 EDT

Hell I'd leave just for the dumptruck. Those things can plow through anything.

Matt Sussman

NFL Season Preview: San Diego Chargers

Afino — Fri, 31 Aug 2007 13:59:20 EDT

MJD - we want the Smorgasbord in some fashion again this year.

Motherfucker.

Afino

NFL Season Preview: San Diego Chargers

BigTenObsession — Fri, 31 Aug 2007 13:58:59 EDT

@Rob Iracane:

Jamie or Chris. Because Jamie is dreamy.

BigTenObsession

NFL Season Preview: San Diego Chargers

Sh!tShow — Fri, 31 Aug 2007 13:55:16 EDT

+1000 Schrutebucks.

Sh!tShow

NFL Season Preview: San Diego Chargers

Rob Iracane — Fri, 31 Aug 2007 13:54:32 EDT

@Suss--: You'd leave too if Mottram drove a dumptruck full of money in front of your house.

Rob Iracane

NFL Season Preview: San Diego Chargers

UkraineNotWeak — Fri, 31 Aug 2007 13:54:17 EDT

I sense a weekend daddy fist fight down at the Little League field.

UkraineNotWeak

NFL Season Preview: San Diego Chargers

HIV 2 Elway — Fri, 31 Aug 2007 13:52:06 EDT

No Marty, no playoffs.

HIV 2 Elway

NFL Season Preview: San Diego Chargers

Matt_T — Fri, 31 Aug 2007 13:52:06 EDT

That is the face of someone who smelled a bad fart.

Matt_T

NFL Season Preview: San Diego Chargers

Boy Howdy — Fri, 31 Aug 2007 13:51:06 EDT

@ArkansasFred: I was too afraid to ask that question.

Boy Howdy

NFL Season Preview: San Diego Chargers

Matt Sussman — Fri, 31 Aug 2007 13:50:51 EDT

I'm fucking glad MJD left.

Matt Sussman

NFL Season Preview: San Diego Chargers

Boy Howdy — Fri, 31 Aug 2007 13:50:13 EDT

Imagine, if you will, Lorenzo Neal ... on steroids.

He'll take out the Ikea lead blocking on a off-tackle run.

Boy Howdy

NFL Season Preview: San Diego Chargers

BigTenObsession — Fri, 31 Aug 2007 13:49:14 EDT

You really think this Tomlinson fellow will have a decent fantasy season? Perhaps I should have drafted him with my first pick.

(keep up the great work on debriefing, but we miss you too motherfucker)

BigTenObsession

NFL Season Preview: San Diego Chargers

BigRicks — Fri, 31 Aug 2007 13:48:53 EDT

Nuts & Bolts of the Chargers.

Bolts...Chargers...

Ahh, now I get it.

BigRicks

NFL Season Preview: San Diego Chargers

ArkansasFred — Fri, 31 Aug 2007 13:47:45 EDT

Serious question: Is the Sunday Smorgasboard dead, as well?

ArkansasFred

NFL Season Preview: San Diego Chargers

UkraineNotWeak — Fri, 31 Aug 2007 13:47:43 EDT

Take me with you old Weekend Daddy. New Weekend Daddies smell like whiskey and cheese and they are always patting me on the behind.

UkraineNotWeak

NFL Season Preview: San Diego Chargers

Kid Canada — Fri, 31 Aug 2007 13:43:52 EDT

I'm excited about it, and I don't care if that makes me ####

Fixed...

Kid Canada

NFL Season Preview: San Diego Chargers

Camp Tiger Claw — Fri, 31 Aug 2007 13:43:45 EDT

Best opening sentence ever.

Camp Tiger Claw

NFL Season Preview: San Diego Chargers

Avoid the Clap, Jimmy Dugan — Fri, 31 Aug 2007 13:43:32 EDT

Deadspin weekends now are like a string of Mom's boyfriends after divorcing Dad. Some of them are great, some not, but they ain't Dad.

Avoid the Clap, Jimmy Dugan

NFL Season Preview: San Diego Chargers

Lady Andrea — Fri, 31 Aug 2007 13:43:30 EDT

We miss you too, MJD.

Also: no Nate Kaeding? For shame.

The new uniforms are awesome and they do not make you gay for liking them.

Lady Andrea

NFL Season Preview: San Diego Chargers

GorgeForeman — Fri, 31 Aug 2007 13:43:16 EDT

Tremendous opening paragraph. We'll think of you fondly during tomorrow's HJP.

GorgeForeman

NFL Season Preview: San Diego Chargers

The Fan’s Attic — Fri, 31 Aug 2007 13:42:16 EDT

We miss you too, MJD. And, obviously, MJD had some pent up phallic references that he finally was able to release. Brokedick, preseason masturbation, etc.

The Fan’s Attic

NFL Season Preview: San Diego Chargers

chilltown — Fri, 31 Aug 2007 13:41:58 EDT

(By the way, I miss you motherfuckers. I miss cursing, too.)

We miss you too, Weekend Daddy. When are you getting paroled again?

chilltown

NFL Season Preview: San Diego Chargers

Da_Mang — Fri, 31 Aug 2007 13:41:17 EDT

I miss weekend daddy.

Da_Mang