ESPN Wisely Addresses Its HR Department - Deadspin Comments

ESPN Wisely Addresses Its HR Department

katolesce — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 17:00:17 EDT

@businessorleisure:

And God knows we're here for the demonstrated integrity.

You may return to licking the cyst on my scrotum, good sir.

katolesce

ESPN Wisely Addresses Its HR Department

A Pimp Named DaveR — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 15:37:38 EDT

@Mmole: I'm sending you their Fatheads as we speak. Just for shits & giggles.

A Pimp Named DaveR

ESPN Wisely Addresses Its HR Department

Mmole — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 14:35:54 EDT

My balls shrink to the size of mini-walnuts every time I hear:

"Hey Greenie?"
"Yes Golic."

Mmole

ESPN Wisely Addresses Its HR Department

crazyjoedavola — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 14:15:00 EDT

I hate the fish video that is next to the pickle dude. Artificial, morale building bullshit. Just pay me, bitch.

crazyjoedavola

ESPN Wisely Addresses Its HR Department

y2ames — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 14:13:47 EDT

Universal McCann is a media agency and is roughly 5 feet from my office. That said, i haven't seen any female employees having to be escorted to the subway after dark.

y2ames

ESPN Wisely Addresses Its HR Department

Weed Against Speed — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 14:11:06 EDT

The guy selling Koufax's Yarmulke wants to know if the Leadership Pickle is Kosher.

Weed Against Speed

ESPN Wisely Addresses Its HR Department

theslacker — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 14:10:55 EDT

@Chad Sexington: it's basically the same as giveemthecucumber.com except vinegar and water are added.

theslacker

ESPN Wisely Addresses Its HR Department

What Would Kornheiser Do? — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 14:09:09 EDT

@Big Daddy Drew: Hasn't Tirico already been sternly punished by being given a brand new national radio show?

[Kinda half-ass threadjack]

Tirico just said that ESPN Radio is now anchored by Mike and MIKE.

Remember the days of when ESPN Radio was anchored by Patrick and TK?

[/Kinda half-ass threadjack]

What Would Kornheiser Do?

ESPN Wisely Addresses Its HR Department

Sid Bream Was Out — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 14:09:03 EDT

If he could explain how Steve A. Smith deserves a national radio show that would be great.

The only possible reason I can come up with is getting radio listeners to turn off ESPN Radio and watch sportscenter.

Sid Bream Was Out

ESPN Wisely Addresses Its HR Department

acer — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 14:05:59 EDT

@ClueHeywood: take a picture of your penis and ATTACH IT TO YOUR jeans.

/fixed?

acer

ESPN Wisely Addresses Its HR Department

UkraineNotWeak aka Praying for a Bullpen — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 14:04:42 EDT

I'm a firm believer in the power of the pickle.

UkraineNotWeak aka Praying for a Bullpen

ESPN Wisely Addresses Its HR Department

Chad Sexington — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 14:03:24 EDT

It doesn't help that the website of the video is Give 'Em The Pickle dot com.

[www.giveemthepickle.com]

Chad Sexington

ESPN Wisely Addresses Its HR Department

Drew Magary — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 14:01:35 EDT

Hasn't Tirico already been sternly punished by being given a brand new national radio show?

Drew Magary

ESPN Wisely Addresses Its HR Department

ILovePaleHoseandPaleHos — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 13:59:40 EDT

@Rory B. Bellows: Nice job crashing their site.
And regarding it - from L to R -- No, No, Maybe

ILovePaleHoseandPaleHos

ESPN Wisely Addresses Its HR Department

The Teufel Shuffle — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 13:59:09 EDT

@MattMillenFanClub: So I'm not sick? Except for this terminal disease?

The Teufel Shuffle

ESPN Wisely Addresses Its HR Department

EdFinnerty — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 13:58:36 EDT

@MattMillenFanClub: He'll be OK as long as he has his luggage with him.

EdFinnerty

ESPN Wisely Addresses Its HR Department

Tuffy — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 13:58:32 EDT

@Camp Tiger Claw: Wait, seriously? I thought John Clayton had just molted his body so he could grow his winter body.

Tuffy

ESPN Wisely Addresses Its HR Department

Tuffy — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 13:57:43 EDT

@UkraineNotWeak: ...hashish?

@Phony Gwynn: ahem. "Fuck you, please."

Tuffy

ESPN Wisely Addresses Its HR Department

Slothrop — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 13:57:33 EDT

@MattMillenFanClub:

I'm not arguing that with you!

Slothrop

ESPN Wisely Addresses Its HR Department

ClueHeywood — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 13:57:18 EDT

Oh, and remember: next Friday is Hostile Work Environment day, so, you know, if you want to, go ahead and take a picture of your penis and send it to women in the office. And wear jeans.

ClueHeywood

ESPN Wisely Addresses Its HR Department

Matt_T — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 13:57:12 EDT

Paul:
What's the conversion rate of Leadership Pickles to Schrute Bucks?

Matt_T

ESPN Wisely Addresses Its HR Department

businessorleisure — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 13:56:49 EDT

@Phony Gwynn: A fine point.

businessorleisure

ESPN Wisely Addresses Its HR Department

Civil Negligence — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 13:56:33 EDT

I have a feeling Mr. Kruk will be demonstrating alot more enthusiasm, confidence, and integreity around the office now.

Civil Negligence

ESPN Wisely Addresses Its HR Department

Camp Tiger Claw — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 13:56:21 EDT

His orientation included a 45 minute presentation devoted to the problems associated with Tim Kurkjian's humungous dong.

Camp Tiger Claw

ESPN Wisely Addresses Its HR Department

swayzegoescrazy — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 13:56:01 EDT

In other news George Bodenheimer announced the appointment of Isiah Thomas as VP of Personnel

swayzegoescrazy

ESPN Wisely Addresses Its HR Department

Tuffy — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 13:55:35 EDT

Of course, we really only want to know one thing, Paul: what cellular provider do you use?

Tuffy

ESPN Wisely Addresses Its HR Department

Rory B. Bellows — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 13:55:17 EDT

@Phony Gwynn: don't worry, I flagged him. We don't need no bitches talkin' that shit around here.

Rory B. Bellows

ESPN Wisely Addresses Its HR Department

TheStarterWife — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 13:54:22 EDT

Is Spoke the new LinkedIn?

It is so hard to keep these professional "MySpaces" straight anymore.

And are my Spoke and LinkedIn accounts expensable?

TheStarterWife

ESPN Wisely Addresses Its HR Department

Phony Gwynn — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 13:54:06 EDT

@businessorleisure: Fuck you.

Phony Gwynn

ESPN Wisely Addresses Its HR Department

A Pimp Named DaveR — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 13:52:31 EDT

-- Leadership pickles will be distributed in Building 5-A, but not in Building 6-R. All ESPN staffers located in Building 6-R should contact their supervisors for alternative leadership pickle distribution options.

-- Some part-time and Schedule BR-2 employees may receive additional leadership pickles in lieu of health insurance.

-- Employees are reminded not to respond to Sean Salisbury if he offers to show you his leadership pickle.

A Pimp Named DaveR

ESPN Wisely Addresses Its HR Department

MattMillenFanClub — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 13:52:03 EDT

I know he can get the job, but can he do the job?

MattMillenFanClub

ESPN Wisely Addresses Its HR Department

bigboneded — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 13:51:44 EDT

@Judith Light Orchestra: But how many COCK pushups can he do?

bigboneded

ESPN Wisely Addresses Its HR Department

Rory B. Bellows — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 13:51:18 EDT

ESPN dudes, you can exhale. Nothing is going to change. The Universal McCann home page sports an upskirt shot of some chick at a business meeting.

Rory B. Bellows

ESPN Wisely Addresses Its HR Department

David Hume — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 13:51:11 EDT

Can we work toward a little ho-style work environment?

David Hume

ESPN Wisely Addresses Its HR Department

jwaves2007 — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 13:50:15 EDT

He narrowly beat out the guy from MSG human resources.

jwaves2007

ESPN Wisely Addresses Its HR Department

businessorleisure — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 13:49:23 EDT

My work made us watch the pickle video in that picture. It's just that dude saying people are happier when they are nice. I think all commenters should be forced to watch it upon joining this site. Things would CERTAINLY change with a little inspired confidence/demonstrated integrity around here.

businessorleisure

ESPN Wisely Addresses Its HR Department

UkraineNotWeak aka Praying for a Bullpen — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 13:49:21 EDT

@Tuffy:

What do you think is in the hash in the cafeteria?

UkraineNotWeak aka Praying for a Bullpen

ESPN Wisely Addresses Its HR Department

Audrey_Horne — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 13:48:47 EDT

@Matt_T: he can 100 push-ups in twenty minutes!

Audrey_Horne

ESPN Wisely Addresses Its HR Department

Rob Iracane — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 13:48:16 EDT

What, was Toby unavailable?

Rob Iracane

ESPN Wisely Addresses Its HR Department

What Would Kornheiser Do? — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 13:47:59 EDT

I've seen that HR video. Not only have I never heard of his restaurant, I don't give a flying fuck how many pickles he's given out.

What Would Kornheiser Do?

ESPN Wisely Addresses Its HR Department

Innings Eater — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 13:47:34 EDT

Q: Paul, I recently received a picture of a flaccid wang. To whom do I report this shocking and disgusting act?

A: Consult the employee handbook. No, seriously, it's covered in there.

Innings Eater

ESPN Wisely Addresses Its HR Department

Tuffy — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 13:47:32 EDT

@UkraineNotWeak: When you're up to your ass in waterfowl...?

Tuffy

ESPN Wisely Addresses Its HR Department

ClownForPound — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 13:47:31 EDT

"Universal McCann's purpose is to deliver sustainable communications advantage through engagement innovation and accountable creativity"... Jesus, it's like that old SNL commercial skit - "Even we don't know what we do".

Was "accountable creativity" discussed during the Flag rollout?

ClownForPound

ESPN Wisely Addresses Its HR Department

The Teufel Shuffle — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 13:47:02 EDT

So you should ask yourself, with every decision that you make: is this good for the company?

The Teufel Shuffle

ESPN Wisely Addresses Its HR Department

Rory B. Bellows — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 13:46:55 EDT

Pet insurance?

Rory B. Bellows

ESPN Wisely Addresses Its HR Department

Matt_T — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 13:45:13 EDT

Let me guess. He drives a Dodge Stratus?

Matt_T

ESPN Wisely Addresses Its HR Department

Chad Sexington — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 13:45:13 EDT

Trying to get his business unit supported is what got HR in trouble in the first place.

Chad Sexington

ESPN Wisely Addresses Its HR Department

Matt Sussman — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 13:44:10 EDT

This explains why the guy from Hemispheral McCann didn't get the job.

Matt Sussman

ESPN Wisely Addresses Its HR Department

UkraineNotWeak aka Praying for a Bullpen — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 13:42:58 EDT

First order of business, drain the duck pond.

UkraineNotWeak aka Praying for a Bullpen

ESPN Wisely Addresses Its HR Department

theslacker — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 13:42:56 EDT

I would like to give Erin Andrews a leadership pickle.

theslacker

ESPN Wisely Addresses Its HR Department

TheVaingloriousKeithOlbermann — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 13:41:39 EDT

C'mon now. Sexual harassment suits will abound when Sean Salisbury tries to show everyone HIS leadership pickle.

TheVaingloriousKeithOlbermann

ESPN Wisely Addresses Its HR Department

Botswana Meat Commission FC — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 13:40:51 EDT

Yes, but where does he stand on bike rack and speedback issues? Let alone, the bi-weekly paychecks and the satellite farm...

Botswana Meat Commission FC